^4.4ii3|l*-1  ^C^^s 


BV  3177  .V36  H38  1847 
Hawes,  Louisa  Fisher,  d. 

1867. 
Memoir  of  Mrs.  Mary  E.  Van 

Lennep 


w- 


^-W 


MEMOIR 


MES.  MAEY  E.  YAI  LENNEP, 


ONLY  DADGHTER  OF  THE  RET.  JOEL  MWES,  D.  D., 


AXD 


WIFE  OF  THE  REV.  HENRY  J.  VAN  LENNEP, 


MISSIONARY  IN  TURKEY. 


BY  HER  MOTHER. 

L^ui'^rA^    H^he^  fia^\AJ^6 


HARTFORD : 

BELKNAP    &   HAMERSLEY. 

1847. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1847,  by 

BELKNAP  &  HAMERSLEY, 

in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  Connecticut. 


PREFACE 


"That  life  is  long  that  answers' life's  great  end." 

To  few,  perhaps,  whose  period  of  action  was  so  limited,  could 
the  above  sentiment  be  better  applied,  than  to  the  subject  of 
this  memoir. 

Her  life,  though  short,  was  filled  up  with  acts  of  beneficence 
and  love;  and  although  many  of  those  acts,  like  fragrance 
borne  upon  the  breath  of  morning,  and  then  scattered  by  the 
winds  of  heaven,  can  never  again  be  gathered ;  yet  something 
remains  in  the  memory  of  those  who  best  knew  her,  and  some- 
thing more  in  her  writings  ;  and  it  is  hoped  that  from  these  two 
sources  a  little  volume  may  be  made,  which  will  be  both  inter- 
esting and  profitable  to  the  young. 

In  regard  to  the  following  memoir,  it  is  proper  to  remark, 
that  it  was  not  attempted  under  the  imRjression  that  the  subject 
of  it  possessed  extraordinary  powers  or  attainments.  Such 
quahfications,  however  desirable  in  themselves,  or  coveted  by 
others,  are  not  deemed  indispensable  to  a  life  of  usefulness. 

A  friend  remarked,  "  I  know  of  no  character  more  worthy  of 
being  presented  as  a  model  for  tlie  young,  than  Mary's ;  and  for 
this  reason  among  many  others,  that  it  exhibits  no  unattainable 
excellence.  It  was  not  by  any  extraordinary  gifts  of  nature 
that  she  won  all  hearts,  and  adorned  her  Christian  profession 
more  than  any  other  young  person  I  ever  knew,— it  was  the 


jy  PREFACE 


complete  subjection  into  which  she  had  brought  her  every  wish 
and  purpose,  to  the  one  object  of  promoting  the  happiness  of 
others,  and  their  spiritual  welfare,  that  made  her  daily  life  such 
a  steady  light,  and  gave  to  her  manners  that  indescribable 
sweetness,  so  that  none  saw  her  but  to  love  her.  Perhaps  I 
ought  to  make  one  exception.  I  think  there  was  in  Mary's  dis- 
position, a  very  uncommon  share  of  affectionateness  and  sim- 
plicity, but  of  course  I  cannot  judge  as  well  as  those  who  knew 
her  in  childhood,  whether  those  traits  were  as  striking  then  as 
in  after  years ;  though  it  seems  to  me  that  no  self-cultivation, 
nor  even  the  grace  of  God,  could  have  supplied  them,  had  they 
not  always  existed  in  an  unusual  degree.  But  on  this  account 
I  should  think  her  character  would  be  a  difficult  one  to  delineate 
with  distinctness." 

The  traits  to  which  this  friend  of  Mary  alludes,  the  writer  of 
this  never  expects  to  portray  so  that  those  who  did  not  know 
her,  could  see  them  as  exhibited  in  her  life.  The  beautiful 
symmetry  of  her  character,  embodying  as  it  did  every  social 
virtue,  and  every  Christian  grace,  must  have  been  seen,  to  be 
fully  known  and  appreciated. 

There  is  one  circumstance,  which,  more  than  any  other, 
prompts  the  wish  to  try  to  sketch  something  which  shall  do  her 
justice.  She  was  early  called  away  from  the  field  of  her 
labors ;  and  as  she  was  eminently  qualified  and  disposed  to  do 
good,  it  does  seem  to  be  no  more  than  a  suitable  tribute  to  the 
promise  she  gave  of  future  usefulness,  to  attempt  to  extend  her 
influence  beyond  the  brief  period  of  her  life. 

Another  reason  for  writing  this  memoir,  is  found  in  the  mel- 
ancholy satisfaction  of  recalling  the  incidents  of  a  life,  which, 
while  its  few  fleeting  years  were  passing,  was  the  source  of  so 
much  happiness  to  the  mourning  survivors. 

As  this  httle  work  was  not  entered  upon,  under  the  impress- 
sion  that  the  subject  of  it  possessed  extraordinary  powers,  so 
neither  was  it  attempted  under  the  impression  that  she  was 


PREFACE. 


exempt  from  the  faults  and  imperfections  incident  to  our  fallen 
state.  Should  a  perfect  character  be  held  up  to  view  as  always 
having  been  such,  it  would  immediately  be  felt  by  all,  not  to  be 
just,  nor  true  to  nature.  Mary  had  faults,  but  by  the  grace  of 
God,  she  was  able  to  correct  them  ;  and  on  this  account  her 
character  seems  a  suitable  one  to  present  as  an  encouragement 
to  those,  who,  conscious  of  their  own  imperfections,  are  at- 
tempting to  reach  some  standard  of  excellence,  which  appears 
almost,  if  not  altogether,  unattainable. 

It  is  hoped  that  this  little  volume  will  come  to  the  aid  of  some 
such,  as  a  star  to  guide  their  trembling  steps,  on  their  first  en- 
tering the  straight  and  narrow  way ;  and  it  is  believed  that  if 
her  character  could  be  truly  presented,  it  would  serve  to  allure 
others  also  into  that  path,  which,  to  her,  was  as  the  "rising 
light,  shining  more  and  more  unto  the  perfect  day." 


CONTENTS 


PAOK. 

CHAPTER  I. 
Reminiscences  of  Childhood, 13 

CHAPTER  II. 
Religious  Development ,       .       19 

CHAPTER  III. 
School  days,  and  Residence  in  New  Haven,      ...    32 

CHAPTER  IV. 
Early  Correspondence,     ....;..       44 

CHAPTER  V. 
Her  Religious  Writings, .    75 

CHAPTER  VI. 
Sickness  and  Recovery, 122 

CHAPTER  VII. 
A  Year  of  Preparation, 143 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

Preparations  for  leaving  home.  Marriage  and  departure,  184 

CHAPTER  IX. 

Extract  of  a  Journal  kept  while  crossing  the  Atlantic,  194 


XII  CONTENTS. 

PAGE 

CHAPTER  X. 
Bark  Stamboul.    Mediterranean 210 

CHAPTER  XL 

Residence  in  Smyrna,     .       .       .       .       .       .       .       ,  235 

CHAPTER  XII. 

Residence  at  Constantinople, 287 

CHAPTER  XIII. 
Sickness  and  Death, 316 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

Closing  Remarks,        : 339 

Lines  by  a  Friend, 342 

Lines  by  Mrs.  Sigourney, ,       .      343 

A  Father's  Memorial  of  an  only  Daughter,    .       .       .  349 
A  Voice  from  Heaven, 371 


CHAPTER    I. 

REMINISCENCES    OF    CHILDHOOD. 

Mary  Elizabeth  Hawes,  second  daughter  of  the  Rev. 
Dr.  Hawes,  of  Hartford,  Connecticut,  was  born  the  16th 
of  April,  1821.  The  incidents  of  her  childhood,  if  not 
remarkable,  were  yet  such  as  to  subject  her  to  a  somewhat 
severe  moral  discipline.  By  the  time  she  was  four  years 
and  four  months  old,  a  sister  and  brother  had  been  removed 
from  her  by  death,  and,  as  she  said,  "she  had  been  left 
alone  Uvo  ti?nes.^^ 

When  Mary  was  five  years  old,  she  was  sent  to  school. 
The  following  summer,  the  parent  whose  office  it  was 
more  immediately  to  watch  over  and  guide  her  unfolding 
faculties,  observed  with  pain,  that  she  was  contracting  a 
habit,  which  if  not  checked  and  overcome  in  childhood, 
would  be  a  blight  upon  her  otherwise  lovely  character,  and 
greatly  endanger,  if  not  destroy,  her  happiness  and  useful- 
ness in  after  life.  It  is  a  humiliating  fact,  that  the  propen- 
sity to  deceive  is  one  of  the  most  common  faults  of  child- 
hood ;  but  because  it  is  thus  common,  it  is  not  the  less  to 
be  dreaded.  Neither  because  it  is  a  fault  of  childhood, 
should  it  be  passed  by  under  the  mistaken  impression  that 
it  will  be  felt  and  corrected  in  mature  life.  So  thought  not 
the  mother  of  Mary.  Under  a  full  impression  of  the  evil, 
2 


14  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  desirous  that  the  best  means  should  be  adopted  for  its 
correction,  the  father  was  applied  to,  for  advice  and  assist- 
ance. Having  admonished  Mary  of  the  evil,  he  concluded 
by  announcing,  that  the  next  time  any  thing  of  the  kind 
occurred,  he  should  apply  the  punishment*  recommended 
by  the  wise  man,  little  thinking  that  it  would  ever  be 
necessary  to  put  the  threat  in  execution.  Ah,  he  little 
thought  what  ascendency  an  evil  habit  might  acquire  in  a 
short  time  even,  over  the  mind  of  a  little  child,  or  he  would 
not  have  expected  that  the  fear  of  punishment  would  of 
itself  be  sufficient,  not  only  to  deter  from  the  fault,  but 
also  to  form  the  opposite  one  of  truthfulness.  It  was  not 
long  before  there  was  a  repetition  of  the  offence  ;  not  an  ag- 
gravated one,  but  enough  to  show  that  even  a  beginning 
had  not  been  made  in  its  correction.  "  Why  did  you  tell 
me  of  it?"  exclaimed  the  agitated  and  grieved  father,  as 
he  remembered  his  threat.  But  the  word  had  gone  forth, 
and  the  father's  veracity  must  be  maintained.  Mary  was 
sent  to  her  room,  and  the  bible  was  put  into  her  hand,  from 
which,  portions  had  been  selected  for  her  to  read  and  apply 
to  her  own  case.  As  she  was  about  being  left  to  spend  a 
long  summer  afternoon  alone  in  her  chamber,  while  her 
companions  were  abroad,  enjoying  the  cool  breezes  in  the 
fields  and  groves,  she  said  in  a  tremulous  voice,  "  I  think 
1  know  what  you  and  pa'  are  going  to  do  with  me  ;  I  think 
you  are  going  to  keep  me  on  bread  and  water  till  I  am 
penitent."  The  dear  child,  if  penitence  had  been  the  only 
object  aimed  at,  might  then  have  been  set  at  liberty  But 
something  more  must  be  gained — such  an  impression  must 
be  made  upon  her  young  mind,  as  should  lead  her  to  feel 
that  she  must  make  some  effort  herself  to  correct  the  fault, 
and  she  must  not  be  left  to   suppose  that  saying  "  I  am 

*  See  Proverbs,  19:  18. 


MRS    MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  15 

sorry,"  and  even  feeling  so  too,  would  of  itself  be  sufficient. 
When  her  piece  of  bread  and  cup  of  milk  were  carried  to 
her  in  the  evening,  she  was  in  deep  thought,  and  had  evi- 
dently spent  the  afternoon  in  faithfully  consulting  the  bible, 
with  self-reflection  and  prayer.  In  the  morning,  her  father 
took  her  into  his  room,  and  having  tenderly  admonished 
her,  he  covered  his  face  and  inflicted  upon  her  little  hand 
enough  of  pain,  to  save  himself  from  the  charge  of  falsify- 
ing his  word. 

Mary  spoke  of  this  scene  with  gratitude  in  after  life,  and 
particularly  of  the  delicate  manner  in  which  the  thing  was 
done  ;  and  said  she  had  "  always  loved  her  father  for  it  :" 
and  it  is  believed  that  the  recollection  of  her  father's  face, 
covered  with  his  handkerchief  while  inflicting  punishment 
upon  his  cherished  and  only  daughter,  following  as  it  did 
a  season  of  retirement  and  reflection,  assisted  her  more  than 
any  thing  else  in  forming  that  character  for  truthfulness, 
of  which  hers  was  ever  afterwards,  so  beautiful  an  illus- 
tration. 

Amongst  the  plans  adopted  for  her  improvement,  was 
one  which  is  now  recollected  with  much  satisfaction.  This 
was  the  daily  reading  of  the  bible  to  her.  The  practice 
was  commenced  when  she  was  very  young,  and  was  con- 
tinued with  more  or  less  interruption,  long  after  she  was 
able  to  read  it  herself.  At  first,  selections  were  made, 
suited  to  her  tender  age,  and  it  was  also  sometimes  neces- 
sary to  "  translate"  the  language,  to  make  it  intelligible  to 
her.  In  this  way,  the  Old  Testament,  commencing  at 
Genesis,  and  ending  with  the  building  of  the  second  tem- 
ple, had  been  read  to  her  several  times,  before  she  was 
seven  years  old.  A  half  hour  after  tea,  is  now  recalled 
with  pleasant  associations,  as  having  been  spent  in  this 
way,  often  for  months  uninterruptedly,  when  her  own  inter- 


16  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

est  in  the  exercise  made  it  not  only  a  useful,  but  also  a 
very  desirable  season. 

Of  scripture  biography  she  would  never  tire  ;  and  as  her 
mind  unfolded,  she  could  be  easily  interested  in  those  beau- 
tiful specimens  of  Hebrew  poetry,  scattered  along  in  the 
first  books  of  the  Old  Testament ;  the  song  of  Deborah,* 
for  instance.  The  vivid  sketches  of  Hebrew  life  and  man- 
ners which  this  song  contains,  the  beautiful  country  where 
the  scene  is  laid,  between  Mt.  Tabor  and  "  Kishon,  that 
ancient  river," — the  relief  too  which  the  country  experi- 
enced, when  delivered  from  the  oppression  under  which  it 
had  groaned  for  so  many  years — much  of  this  she  could 
enter  into  and  comprehend. 

Even  at  this  early  age,  there  were  pleasing  indications 
of  the  facility  with  which  she  could  afterwards  throw  her- 
self into  the  situation  of  others.  For  instance,  when  at  the 
close  of  the  song  just  alluded  to,  the  mother  of  Sisera  is 
described  as  calling  through  the  lattice,  "  Why  tarry  the 
wheels  of  his  chariot  .^"  and  then  comforting  herself  that 
the  delay  was  only  the  necessary  result  of  victory — that 
having  conquered  his  enemies  he  waited  to  divide  the 
spoil — even  then,  she  could  comprehend  something  of  the 
disappointment  and  anguish  of  that  mother,  when  the  ter- 
rible reverse  should  be  made  known. 

But  her  sympathies  were  not  all  expended  upon  the 
stories  and  the  poetry.  The  details  of  history  were  often 
listened  to  with  as  much  interest  as  the  more  glowing  and 
picturesque  descriptions.  A  single  instance  shall  suffice. 
She  was  listening  one  evening  to  a  passage  in  the  history 
of  the  Israelites,  when,  after  having  been  recovered  by 
severe  judgments  from  their  idolatrous  practices,  they  were 
beginning  again  to  relapse,  unable  longer  to  restrain  her 
grief,  she  exclaimed,  *'  O,  mamma,  1  know  what  you  are 

*  Judges,  chap.  5. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  17 

going  to  read  about,  the  people  are  going  to  be  wicked,  and 
then  God  will  have  to  punish  them  again." 

On  the  approach  of  her  eighth  birth  day,  it  was  feared 
that  before  another  anniversary  of  the  event  occurred,  Mary 
would  be  deprived  of  the  watchful  care  of  her  mother,  who 
was  suffering  from  protracted  illness.  The  probability 
that  in  her  tender  age,  she  would  be  thrown  upon  her 
own  resources  for  improvement  and  happiness,  made  her 
mother  anxious  to  turn  her  attention  more  to  the  sober 
realities  of  life.  The  usual  preparations  to  make  it  a  day 
of  gladness,  were  therefore  exchanged  for  others  more 
suitable  to  the  circumstances  of  the  occasion.  Many  little 
articles  for  the  exercise  and  improvement  of  her  taste  were 
procured,  such  as  paints,  pencils,  drawings,  &c.;  but  one 
thing  was  done,  which  doubtless  gave  a  decided  turn  to 
her  religious  feelings,  which  had  heretofore  appeared  only 
in  an  incipient  state. 

Her  mother  had  lonoj  been  anxious  for  some  evidence 
that  she  was  safe  in  the  fold  of  the  good  Shepherd,  and 
this  anxiety  increased,  as  the  probability  strengthened  that 
she  would  early  be  left  without  a  maternal  guide.  To  aid 
her  in  her  efforts  to  fix  in  the  mind  of  her  child  a  sense  of 
the  importance  of"  seeking  first  the  kingdom  of  heaven," 
she  requested  a  friend  to  call  and  converse  with  Mary,  on 
her  birth  day,  on  this  important  subject.  After  a  short 
interview,  in  which  he  had  endeavored  to  impress  upon 
her  mind,  the  happiness  it  would  afford  her  through  life,  to 
have  God  for  her  father,  followed  by  a  very  affectionate 
appeal  to  yield  her  young  heart  to  him,  he  made  this  re- 
mark to  her  parents,  "  I  shall  expect  to  hear  soon  that 
Mary  is  a  Christian,  for  I  never  saw  truth  sink  into  the 
mind  as  it  did  into  hers,  without  being  followed  by  such  a 
result." 

Little  is  recollected  of  the  following  year,  as  her  mother 
2* 


18  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

was  brought  near  to  death,  and  Mary  was  left  very  much 
under  her  own  guidance,  but  her  sweet  docility,  and  tender 
watchful  care  of  her  little  brother,  come  as  gleams  of  sun- 
shine to  relieve  the  mind  as  it  recals  those  long  and  weari- 
some months  of  deprivation  and  suffering. 

During  this  period,  her  studies  were  very  much  inter- 
rupted, in  consequence  of  her  accompanying  her  brother  to 
an  infant  school,  and  also  her  care  of  him  after  he  was 
removed  to  another,  collateral  to  the  one  which  she  attend- 
ed. Still  she  made  some  progress.  Some  occasional  exer- 
cises at  home,  were  of  use  in  eliciting  her  mental  powers, 
which  although  slow  in  their  development,  were  yet  not 
deficient  in  interesting  qualities.  A  friend  of  the  family 
was  preparing  a  course  of  elementary  books  for  children, 
and  to  test  them,  frequently  read  parts  of  them  to  Mary 
and  her  brother.  The  same  friend  had  another  little  exer- 
cise, which  he  carried  on  with  her  in  a  somewhat  playful 
manner.  He  directed  her  to  shut  her  eyes  and  describe 
external  objects  ;  gradually  leading  her  mind  to  an  atten- 
tion to  its  own  processes.  In  this  way  she  very  early 
acquired  a  tolerabl}'- correct  knowledge  of  the  simplest  ele- 
ments of  mental  philosophy  ;  and  although  her  studies  at 
school  were  of  little  use  to  her,  yet  at  home  she  was 
making  some  progress  in  mental  as  well  as  in  moral 
culture. 


CHAPTER    II. 


RELIGIOUS    DEVELOPMENT. 


The  spring  of  1831,  is  remembered  as  an  important  era 
in  her  life.  It  was  seen  at  this  time  that  her  mind  was 
more  than  usually  tender  in  reflecting  on  religious  truths. 
Whenever  such  truths  were  presented,  she  felt  that  she  had 
a  personal  interest  in  them.  Many  tender  and  deeply 
interesting  seasons  are  here  recalled,  which  gave  intima- 
tion that  she  had  begun  to  realize  her  state  as  a  sinner, 
needing  pardon  and  peace  with  God.  The  impotency  of 
the  pen  in  describing  such  scenes,  almost  forbids  the 
attempt  ;  but  one  shall  be  briefly  noticed  here,  which  may 
serve  as  a  feeble  specimen  of  many  others.  Mary  was  sit- 
ting with  her  brother  one  Sabbath  evening,  when  he  asked 
her  to  sing  one  of  his  infant  school  songs.  Turning  to  her 
mother,  she  said  in  a  voice  trembling  and  half  suppressed 
by  deep  emotion — "  I  wish  Thomas  would  like  to  have 
me  sing, 

"  A  fallen  creature  I  was  born, 
And  from  the  birth  I've  stray'd  ; 
I  must  be  wretched  and  forlorn, 
Without  thy  mercy's  aid." 

Here  her  feelings  overcame  her,  and  she  covered  her  face 
and  wept. 


20  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

It  was  near  the  close  of  her  tenth  year,  when  the  scarlet 
fever,  which  had  been  in  the  city  for  some  time,  entered 
the  family,  and  prostrated  the  brother  before  alluded  to. 
Mary  was  soon  taken  with  the  disease  herself,  and  her 
mother  being  occupied  with  her  two  little  sons  who  were 
ill  at  the  same  time,  she  was  obliged  to  consign  Mary  to 
the  care  of  others.  Those  who  attended  upon  her,  were 
surprised  and  gratified  to  see  her  so  composed  and  peaceful, 
while  she  was  very  ill,  and  fully  aware  of  the  dangerous 
nature  of  the  disease  ;  and  they  soon  learned  from  herself, 
that  she  had  been  endeavoring  to  prepare  for  the  issue, 
should  the  disease  prove  fatal  to  her.  But  she  was  spared, 
and  her  brother  was  taken. 

A  little  previous  to  the  death  of  this  brother,  an  inci- 
dent occurred  which  drew  out  her  strong  powers  of  sym- 
pathy, and  very  strikingly  illustrated  her  forgetfulness  of 
self,  when  she  saw  others  in  affliction,  and  also  her  very 
felicitous  manner  of  imparting  consolation.  The  disease 
had  assumed  a  very  alarming  form,  and  the  little  sufferer 
was  rent  with  convulsions,  which  it  required  no  ordinary 
share  of  fortitude  only  to  witness.  The  poor  father,  una- 
ble longer  to  endure  the  sight,  turned  away  from  the  bed, 
and  sought  his  room.  Mary  followed  him.  He  threw 
himself  upon  the  sofa,  exclaiming,  "  I  can't  bear  it,  I  can't 
bear  it ;"  and  he  seemed  to  be  struggling  with  emotions 
too  painful  to  be  borne.  He  had  already  been  bereaved  of 
three  children,  and  now  a  fourth  was  about  to  be  taken, 
and  in  a  very  distressing  manner.  He  again  exclaimed, 
"  The  hand  of  God  is  upon  me  ;  I  don't  know  but  I  am  to 
be  written  childless."  Mary  drew  her  seat  closer  to  his, 
and  laying  her  hand  gently  on  his  knee  to  gain  his  atten- 
tion, she  looked  up  in  his  face  and  said,  "  Father,  you  told 
ns  that  God  always  had  a  g(.od  reason  for  every  thing  he 
did.     And  has  he  not  a  good  reason  noiv?  and   is  it  not 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  21 

right  for  him  to  make  my  little  brother  suffer  so  ?"  Find- 
ing her  arguments  unavailing,  as  she  supposed,  to  soothe 
him,  because  that  now  he  wept  more  freely,  she  took 
down  from  the  shelf  a  hymn-book,  and  opening  it,  said, 
^^  dear  father,  let  me  comfort  you,  let  me  read  a  hymn  to 
you,  shall  I  ?"  The  father's  heart  was  too  full  to  speak, 
and  she  opened  to  that  very  appropriate  hymn  of  Dodd- 
ridge, commencing, 

"  Peace,  'tis  the  Lord  Jehovah's  hand" — 

When  she  came  to  the  verse, 

•'  Fair  garlands  of  immortal  bliss 
He  weaves  for  every  brow, 
And  shall  rebellious  passions  rise 
When  he  corrects  us  now  ?" 

Her  countenance  shone  as  if  a  beam  from  heaven  had  shed 
its  light  there,  and  her  voice  and  manner  were  such  as 
seemed  better  befitting  an  angel  than  a  frail  child.  A  rela- 
tive of  the  family  had  followed  Mary  and  her  father  to  the 
study,  and  had  been  a  silent,  but  almost  unnoticed  observer 
of  the  whole ;  so  absorbed  was  the  father  in  his  grief,  and 
Mary  in  her  attempts  to  soothe  him.  She  said  the  scene 
was  more  touching,  on  account  of  the  state  of  Mary  at  the 
time,  who  having  just  risen  from  a  sick  bed,  was  still  weak 
and  pale.  She  seemed  also  to  be  overwhelmed  with  the 
consciousness  of  her  little  brother's  sufferings,  to  whom  she 
was  tenderly  attached,  and  to  feel  that  she  must  not  now 
lay  her  bursting  heart  upon  her  father's  bosom,  for  he 
needed  comfort  and  support  himself.  In  the  trying  emer- 
gency, she  looked  away  from  human  sympathy,  and  sought 
in  God  something  which  might  meet  the  painful  circum- 


22  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

stances  of  the  case  ;  and  she  thus,  meekly,  though  uninten- 
tionally, taught  a  lesson  of  submission  to  His  perfect  will. 

Her  father,  in  speaking  of  it  afterwards,  remarked,  that 
he  "had  never  before  been  so  dealt  with;"  that  "she 
talked  like  an  experienced  Christian." 

Her  brother's  death  took  place  soon  after  this,  and  she 
passed  through  the  trying  scene,  with  a  considerateness, 
unusual  for  one  of  her  tender  age ;  and  the  result  showed 
that  it  had  been  to  her  a  season  of  rich  spiritual  improve- 
ment. 

About  this  time,  there  were  many  meetings  in  the  place, 
where  children  were  addressed  on  the  subject  of  religion, 
in  a  manner  suited  to  their  years.  Mary  was  unable  to 
attend  any  of  them,  but  God  was  evidently  teaching  her, 
although  in  a  different  manner,  at  home.  She  was  told 
that  several  of  her  young  companions,  who  attended  these 
meetings,  were  becoming  interested  in  religion.  This 
information  made  her  increasingly  thoughtful  and  serious. 

Her  father  was  expecting  soon  to  go  abroad,  and  her 
mother  being  occupied  in  making  the  necessary  prepara- 
tions, a  little  brother  was  committed  to  the  care  of  Mary, 
and  for  a  short  time  she  was  fully  occupied  in  attending 
upon  him.  Though  she  never  neglected  her  little  charge, 
but  always  contrived  to  make  him  happy,  still  it  was  evi- 
dent that  her  thoughts  were  on  other  things. 

A  week  or  two  had  passed  in  this  way,  when  one  day 
she  was  seen  to  be  more  than  usually  tender  and  thought- 
ful. An  invalid  friend  was  in  the  family,  and  this,  together 
with  other  things,  so  constantly  occupied  her  mother's 
attention,  that  Mary  was  necessarily  passed  by,  without 
even  a  word,  or  any  other  attempt  to  ascertain  the  cause 
of  her  deep  solicitude.  But  God  was  not  passing  her  by, 
as  the  result  showed.  Soon  after  tea,  having  requested 
permission  to  retire,  she  went  to  her  room.     It  was  late  in 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  23 

the  evening,  when  her  mother,  hearing  a  soft  voice  which 
seemed  to  proceed  from  her  chamber,  went  up  to  see  if  she 
was  needing  any  thing.*  On  opening  the  door,  she  found 
Mary  in  the  attitude  of  retiring,  and  singing  forth  her 
thoughts  in  a  low,  sweet  voice.  Her  countenance  was 
beaming  as  with  heavenly  light,  and  she  exclaimed,  with 
an  expression  wholly  indescribable,  "  O,  mamma,  I  am  so 
happy,  I  have  found  God."  Her  mother  stood  in  silence, 
her  hand  still  upon  the  latch,  having  been  arrested  by  the 
grateful  surprise  ;  when  Mary,  supposing  that  she  waited 
for  an  explanation  of  her  not  having  retired  earlier,  offered 
as  a  reason,  that  she  "  had  been  praying  a  long  time,  and 
that  it  made  her  so  happy  she  could  not  leave  off."  She 
said,  "  While  I  was  speaking,  God  seemed  near.  It  seem- 
ed as  if  he  heard  me  ;  and  I  felt  that  I  was  speaking  to  a 
dear  friend,  and  that  He  was  near  as  when  I  speak  to  dear 
father."  "  O,  mamma,  I  am  so  happy  !  I  can  pray  now  !" 
"  I  have  found  God  I"  she  again  exclaimed  ;  and  her 
shining  countenance  bore  testimony,  that  although  she 
might  not  have  seen  God  ''face  to  face," yet  that  He  had 
met  her,  and  had  blessed  her. 

Some  weeks  after  her  father  left  home,  she  was  visited 
with  dangerous  illness.  Of  the  many  remarks  she  made 
during  this  season,  indicative  of  pleasant  and  profitable 
reflection,  a  few  have  been  preserved  in  writing.  An  affec- 
tionate and  valued  friend,*  in  writing  to  her  father  says, 
*'  Mary,  as  you  have  probably  heard,  has  been  ill.  While 
suffering  from  fever,  1  was  permitted  to  watch  with  her, 
and  was  delighted  to  find  her  mind  in  such  a  frame  as  was 
most  desirable.  The  first  thing  she  said  to  me  was,  '  O, 
Miss  Chester,  I  have  been  thinking  of  the  Saviour  a  great 
deal  to-day;    of  his  sufferings  on  the  cross.'     While  look- 

*  Her  Sabbath  School  Teacher,  Miss  Jane  Chester. 


24 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


ing  at  some  beautiful  flowers,  she  spoke  of  her  own  garden, 
and  said  she  could  not  keep  it  free  from  weeds,  M'ithout 
assistance  ;  adding,  '  it  is  just  like?  our  hearts,'  and  contin- 
ued the  comparison  in  a  way  to  which  I  could  not  do 
justice." 

After  her  recovery,  it  was  thought  not  best  to  confine 
her  to  the  school-room,  but  to  keep  her  abroad  in  the  open 
air.  She  cultivated  her  garden,  gathered  mosses,  and  col- 
lected pebbles  and  shells,  to  build  a  mimic  hermitage.  For 
this  purpose  she  used  to  ramble  through  the  fields  and 
groves,  accompanied  by  her  little  brother ;  and  at  such 
times,  her  heart  used  to  flow  forth  in  sweet  and  joyous 
communings  with  nature  and  its  great  Author.  There 
was  for  many  months  an  indescribable  expression  of  peace- 
fulness  and  joyousness,  beaming  from  her  countenance  ;  it 
seemed  to  proceed  from  a  sweet  sense  of  her  acceptance 
with  God. 

Some  years  after  this,  when  she  was  about  leaving  the 
home  of  her  childhood,  to  go  to  her  Eastern  home,  she 
spoke  to  her  mother  of  this  happy  season  in  her  youthful 
days.  She  said  is  was  in  her  memory  "  like  a  long,  bright, 
happy  dream  ;"  "  it  was  unlike  the  rest  of  her  life,  it  was 
so  free  from  care,  and  so  full  of  happiness  and  peace.'' 
And  it  may  be  added,  that  to  one  who  witnessed  it,  it 
seemed  like  a  continual  hymn  of  praise  to  God. 

There  was  one  circumstance,  which,  even  more  than  the 
happiness  she  enjoyed,  showed  that  she  was  at  this  time 
under  divine  teaching,  and  that  her  heart  had  indeed  been 
touched  with  the  love  of  God.  It  was  this.  From  the 
moment  she  found  relief  in  prayer,  or,  as  she  said,  "could 
pray,"  she  set  about  attempting  to  persuade  her  young 
companions  to  pray,  and  others  also,  whom  she  could 
influence.  It  is  not  known,  whether  she  was  successful 
at  this  time  in  her  efforts,  except  in  one  instance.     A  poor 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  25 


girl,  who  lived  at  service  in  the  family  of  a  relative,  was 
an  object  of  much  interest  to  Mary,  and  she  attempted  as 
she  had  opportunity,  to  impress  upon  her  mind  a  sense  of 
the  importance  of  prayer.  After  laboring  long,  and  wait- 
ing patiently,  her  feeble  eiforts  were  at  length  crowned 
with  success. 

To  avoid  a  wrong  impression  being  made  by  the  fact  just 
related,  an  impression  that  Mary  was  obtrusive,  in  her 
efforts  to  promote  the  spiritual  welfare  of  others,  it  should 
be  said,  that  in  all  her  attempts  of  this  nature,  there  was 
so  much  of  quietness  and  secrecy,  that  butfor  their  results, 
they  would  never  have  come  to  the  knowledge  of  any, 
except  the  individuals  concerned.  In  the  case  just  men- 
tioned, her  efforts  were  wholly  unknown  to  any,  excepting 
the  poor  girl  and  herself  But  when  there  was  reason  to 
hope  that  the  object  of  her  interest  had  indeed  become  a 
child  of  God,  she  could  no  longer  refrain  from  telling  her 
mother  ;  and  she  did  this,  not  to  relate  her  own  agency  in 
the  case,  but  to  find  relief  for  the  fullness  of  her  joy.  Her 
heart  was  overflowing  with  gratitude  for  the  happiness 
which  this  poor  girl  now  experienced  in  the  duty  of  prayer, 
and  which  Mary  regarded  as  evidence  of  her  having  be- 
come a  child  of  God.  She  hoped  also,  to  impart  some- 
thing of  her  own  joy  to  her  mother. 

It  was  somewhere  about  this  time,  perhaps  earlier,  that 
her  powers  of  voice  began  to  be  developed.  Before  this, 
she  had  indeed  been  able  to  bear  her  part  in  the  music  of 
the  family,  and  in  the  infant  school,  but  now  she  had  the 
instructions  of  a  master.  The  scene  is  still  fresh  in  the 
memory  of  the  writer,  when  Mary,  and  a  group  of  young 
companions  used  to  assemble  to  practice  singing.  An  hour 
in  the  cool  of  the  long  summer  mornings,  was  devoted  to 
this  exercise.  While  yet  the  air  was  fragrant  with  the 
breath  of  flowers,  and  the  birds  were  pouring  forth  their 
3 


26  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

glad  notes,  the  teacher  was  training  the  young  voices  of 
his  pupils  to  a  soft  toned  violin.  The  little  pieces  which 
were  given  them  to  practice,  were  full  of  pure  sentiments. 
They  were  the  natural  expressions  of  joyous  and  grateful 
hearts  ;  and  there  was  also  much  in  them,  that  was  fitted 
to  inspire  and  to  cherish  a  taste  for  natural  enjoyments. 

Mary  had  a  high  relish  for  all  the  appropriate  amuse- 
ments of  childhood.  Among  these,  the  rural  party,  and 
the  song,  were  her  favorites.  Always  happiest  when  con- 
tributing to  make  others  happy — delighting  rather  to  place 
the  May  crown  on  the  head  of  a  friend,  than  to  w^ar  it 
herself.  At  the  little  concerts  in  which  she  bore  a  part, 
her  gratification  rose  to  its  height,  when  some  young 
friend  sung  with  more  than  ordinary  sweetness.  At  such 
times  she  would  listen  with  breathless  attention,  and  then, 
when  all  was  over,  she  would  offer  her  congratulations 
with  such  affectionateness,  as  left  no  doubt  of  her  sincerity. 

From  the  time  Mary  was  ten  years  old,  she  had  a  strong 
desire  to  make  a  profession  of  religion  ;  but  her  father 
being  absent,  she  waited  patiently  the  first  half  year;  and 
after  his  return,  another  half  year  passed,  and  still  this  wish 
remained  ungratified.  Ever  docile  and  confiding  towards 
her  parents,  and  yielding  to  their  slightest  wishes  in  other 
matters,  yet  in  the  matter  of  a  profession  of  religion,  she 
felt  that  she  had  a  right  to  know  why  she  was  deprived  of 
the  privilege. 

One  Sabbath,  when  her  mother  returned  from  a  com- 
munion season,  she  found  Mary  sitting  in  her  room,  appa- 
rently in  deep  thought.  As  she  entered,  Mary  addressed 
her  thus  :  "  Mamma,  when  our  Saviour  said,  '  do  this  in 
remembrance  of  me,'  did  he  not  mean  to  include  children  ?" 
She  was  told  as  she  had  before  been,  that  her  father  thought 
her  too  young  to  take  so  important  a  step.  With  great 
seriousness  of  manner,  she  asked,   "  how  old  must  I  be, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  27 

before  1  obey  Christ  ?"  She  was  told  that  her  father 
thought  twelve,  a  suitable  age  to  make  a  lofessionof 
religion ;  when  bursting  into  tears,  she  exclaimed,  "  I 
shall  have  to  wait  another  year,  and  I  have  waited  a  whole 
year  now."" 

During  the  following  summer,  the  cholera,  which  had 
ravaged  many  parts  of  the  country,  entered  New  England, 
and  there  were  such  indications  of  its  approach  to  our  prin- 
cipal cities,  as  to  arouse  the  vigilance  of  health  committees 
and  others,  to  prepare  to  meet  it.  One  day  Mary  ad- 
dressed her  mother  on  the  subject  in  this  way.  "  Mamma, 
if  you  should  be  sick,  I  should  not  be  frightened;  I  should 
know  just  what  to  do."  She  was  asked  if  she  should  be 
frightened,  if  she  herself  were  to  be  sick,  and  also,  if  she 
had  done  every  thing  she  would  wish  if  the  disease  should 
prove  fatal  to  her.  The  momentary  uneasiness  occasioned 
by  her  answering  in  the  negative,  was  removed  by  her 
saying,  "  I  should  like  to  make  a  profession  of  religion 
first."  Thinking  she  might  be  making  a  merit  of  this,  she 
was  asked  if  she  thought  it  would  make  her  any  better. 
'*  O  no,"  was  her  prompt  reply  ;  "  but  I  do  want  to  leave 
my  name  for  Christ."  When  she  was  twelve  years  old, 
this  wish  of  her  heart  was  gratified,  and  with  several 
youthful  companions,  she  took  her  place  at  the  table  of  the 
Lord ;  and  seldom,  it  is  believed,  is  that  ordinance  ap- 
proached in  a  more  acceptable  manner. 

Mary,  at  this  time,  was  highly  favored  in  her  instruc- 
tions at  Sabbath  school.  Her  father  has  made  this  remark 
of  her  Sabbath  school  teacher.  "  Out  of  her  own  family, 
no  human  being  exerted  a  greater,  or  more  happy  influ- 
ence in  the  formation  of  her  Christian  character,  than 
Mary  Jane  Chester,  afterwards  Mrs.  Hovey."  Ever  alive 
to  the  best  interests  of  her  pupils,  she  could  not  pass  by  the 
occasion  when  one  or  more  of  them  professed  their  faith 


28  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

in  Christ,  by  uniting  themselves  with  his  visible  church, 
without  some  more  than  ordinary  expression  of  the  deep 
interest  she  felt  in  their  spiritual  welfare.  The  hymn 
which  she  selected  for  her  young  pupil  to  learn  on  this 
occasion,  doubtless  had  a  very  favorable  bearing  on  her 
Christian  character  ever  after.  It  was  often  quoted  by 
Mary,  and  is  in  memory  so  identified  with  her  Christian 
course,  and  withal  so  beautiful,  that  it  is  presumed  its 
insertion  here  will  not  be  unacceptable. 

*'  Jesus,  I  my  cross  have  taken, 

All  to  leave,  and  follow  Thee, 
Naked,  poor,  despis'd,  forsaken. 

Thou,  from  hence,  my  all  shaltbe: 
Perish  ev'ry  fond  ambition, 

All  I've  sought,  or  hop'd,  or  known  ; 
Yet  how  rich  is  my  condition, 

God  and  heaven  are  still  my  own. 

Let  the  world  despise  and  leave  me : 

They  have  left  my  Saviour  too ; 
Human  hearts  and  looks  deceive  me, 

Thou  art  not,  like  them,  untrue  ; 
And  whilst  thou  shalt  smile  upon  me, 

God  of  wisdom,  love,  and  might, 
Foes  may  hate,  and  friends  may  scorn  me, 

Show  thy  face,  and  all  is  bright. 

Go,  then,  earthly  fame  and  treasure, 

Come  disaster,  scorn  and  pain. 
In  thy  service  pain  is  pleasure, 

With  thy  favor  loss  is  gain. 
I  have  called  thee  Abba,  Father, 

I  have  set  my  heart  on  thee ; 
Storms  may  howl,  and  clouds  may  gather, 

All  must  work  for  good  to  me. 

Man  may  trouble  and  distress  me, 
\  'Twill  but  drive  me  to  thy  breast : 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  29 

Life  with  trials  hard  may  press  me, 
Heaven  will  bring  me  sweeter  rest. 

Oh  !  'tis  not  in  grief  to  harm  me, 
While  thy  love  is  left  to  me  ; 

Oh  !  'twere  not  in  joy  to  charm  me. 
Were  that  joy  unmix'd  with  thee. 

Soul,  then  know  thy  full  salvation, 

Rise  o'er  sin,  and  fear,  and  care : 
Joy  to  find  in  ev'ry  station 

Something  still  to  do  or  bear. 
Think  what  spirit  dwells  within  thee, 

Think  what  Father's  smiles  are  thine  : 
Think  that  Jesus  died  to  save  thee  : 

Child  of  heaven,  canst  thou  repine  1 

Haste  thee  on  from  grace  to  glory, 

Arm'd  by  faith  and  wing'd  by  prayer  ; 
Heaven's  eternal  day's  before  thee, 

God's  own  hand  shall  guide  thee  there. 
Soon  shall  close  thy  earthly  mission. 

Soon  shall  pass  thy  pilgrim  days  ; 
Hope  shall  change  to  glad  fruition. 

Faith  to  sight,  and  prayer  to  praise. 

Although  its  full  rich  meaning,  could  not  all  be  taken 
into  the  mind  of  one  so  young,  and  also  inexperienced  in 
the  painful  vicissitudes  of  life,  yet  to  this  full  salvation  her 
eye  was  steadily  directed,  and  to  the  attainment  of  this,  all 
else  was  made  subservient.  From  this  period,  her  rela- 
tions to  the  other  world  never  were  lost  sight  of. 

She  early  manifested  an  interest  in  missions.  An  inci- 
dent which  occurred  when  she  was  a  little  child,  will  show 
the  ease  and  readiness  with  which  she  could  be  interested 
in  the  missionary  cause.  Her  mother  said  to  her  one  day, 
*'here  is  a  field  for  you,  Mary,"  at  the  same  time  pointing 
out  to  her  something  which  she  could  do  to  aid  in  the  good 
work.  With  great  seriousness  of  manner  she  replied, 
"  If  I  am  ever  fit  to  be  a  missionary,  I  mean  to  go  to  the 
3* 


30  MRS.  MARY  E,  VAN  LENNEP. 

Flat-head  Indians;"  and  it  was  ascertained  that  she  had 
been  interested  in  an  account  of  this  benighted  people, 
which  she  had  seen  sometime  previous  in  one  of  the  pub- 
lic prints  ;  and  that  their  efforts  to  obtain  the  knowledge 
of  "  the  true  way  to  worship  the  great  spirit,"  had  so 
wrought  upon  her  sympathies,  as  to  lead  her  to  form  the 
purpose  of  one  day  going  to  instruct  thenn  herself. 

After  she  had  made  a  profession  of  religion,  she  took  a 
more  decided  stand,  in  aiding,  not  only  the  missionary 
cause,  but  also  the  many  objects  of  benevolence  which 
came  within  her  sphere.  When  Dr.  Parker  left  this  coun- 
try for  China,  which  was  sometime  during  this  year,  she 
so  arranged  it,  that  a  young  friend,  the  daughter  of  a  mis- 
sionary, should  be  present  when  he  took  leave  of  the  fam- 
ily for  the  last  time.  With  her  friend,  she  accompanied 
him  to  the  gate,  and  when  he  requested  to  be  remembered, 
her  heart  responded,  and  she  instantly  formed  her  plan 
how  to  do  it.  While  returning  to  the  house  she  said, 
*'  we  will  sew  for  him,  Sophia  ;"  at  the  same  time  offer- 
ing her  hand  to  her  friend  as  a  pledge. 

She  immediately  formed  a  society  of  very  little  girls, 
making  it  a  condition  they  should  earn  the  penny  they 
brought,  by  doing  something  for  their  mothers  at  home,  as 
most  of  them  were  too  young  to  sew.  Her  benevolent 
and  inventive  mind,  suggested  many  expedients  to  interest 
the  little  group,  during  the  hour  appropriated  to  the  meet- 
ing. Sometimes  she  spread  on  the  table  around  which 
they  were  arranged,  something  to  please  the  eye,  such  as 
pictures,  and  specimens  of  natural  curiosities  ;  sometimes 
she  told  them  stories  to  interest  them  in  missions,  and 
other  benevolent  objects — again  with  a  delicate  touch,  she 
would  endeavor  to  ascertain,  whether  there  were  any  indi- 
cations of  tenderness  on  religious  subjects.  One  little  girl, 
the  most  healthful  and  robust  among  the  number,  after 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  31 

meeting  a  few  times,  was  suddenly  removed  by  death.  It 
was  noticed,  that  the  last  time  she  was  present,  when  she 
presented  her  penny,  it  was  with  a  moistened  eye  ;  and  it 
was  hoped  that  these  little  meetings  were  among  the  means 
of  preparing  her  for  her  early  removal. 

Before  entering  on  any  plan  of  benevolent  effort,  Mary 
counted  the  cost,  and  took  advice  of  her  seniors.  Jn  the 
formation  of  the  society  just  named,  she  saw  each  mother 
separately,  before  inviting  the  children  to  join  it,  and  while 
their  approval  gave  her  strength,  a  feeling  of  responsibility 
to  them,  gave  consistency  and  earnestness  to  her  efforts. 

The  avails  of  the  first  and  second  year  were  sent,  and  a 
letter  was  received  in  reply.  The  distant  missionary 
wrote,  that  the  communication  from  this  little  band,  was 
like  cold  water  to  one  perishing  with  thirst  ;  that,  while 
those  on  whom  he  had  depended  to  cheer  him,  by  writing 
to  him  in  his  exile,  had  disappointed  him,  yet  God  had  put 
it  into  the  hearts  of  these  little  ones,  to  comfort  and  encour- 
age him  in  his  work.  Many  an  eye  was  moist  as  the  let- 
ter was  read  and  commented  on,  and  doubtless  many  a  res- 
olution to  persevere  was  then  renewed. 


CHAPTER   III. 

SCHOOL  DAYS  AND  RESIDENCE  IN  NEW  HAVEN. 

Mary  entered  the  Hartford  Female  Seminary  sometime 
during  her  twelfth  year,  and  remained  a  pupil  in  that  insti- 
tution until  August,  1838,  at  which  time  she  graduated. 
Little,  out  of  the  ordinary  course  of  studies  in  term  time, 
and  visiting  by  way  of  relaxation  in  vacations,  is  recollect- 
ed to  have  occurred,  excepting  that  she  had  an  additional 
source  of  enjoyment  in  the  acquisition  of  a  new  friend, 

Marion  D ,  a  native  of  the  south,  was  received  into  the 

family  in  June,  1836,  and  was  Mary's  room  mate  and  com- 
panion in  study,  until  the  time  of  her  leaving  school.  As 
both  were  only  daughters,  these  young  friends  became  ten- 
derly attached  to  each  other,  and  each  felt  that  she  had 
found  a  sister.  In  all  that  contributed  to  make  up  the 
daily  routine  of  life's  duties,  enjoyments  and  petty  trials, 
they  were  one.  Marion  became  settled  in  her  Christian 
views  and  feelings,  and  made  a  profession  of  religion  while 
in  the  family  with  Mary ;  thus  adding  a  new  tie  to  the 
many  which  already  bound  them  together.  The  parting 
of  these  young  friends  was  painful  to  both.  Particularly 
was  it  so  to  Mary,  as  in  her  case  there  were  none  of  those 
alleviating  circumstances,  which  so  filled  the  mind  of  her 
friend,  as  to  make  her  almost  forget  the  coming  separation. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  33 

Marion  was  cheered  with  the  prospect  of  meeting  kind 
parents,  and  a  large  circle  of  affectionate  brothers,  in  the 
*'  sunny  south,"  while  Mary  was  to  be  left  almost  alone, 
with  no  young  heart  to  send  back  its  sisterly  response  to 
her  own. 

A  little  incident  which  attended  the  parting  of  these 
friends,  may  not  be  uninteresting  here.  It  was  a  delight- 
ful morning  in  the  month  of  August,  while  it  was  yet  dark, 
excepting  that  the  stars  shone  with  an  unusual  brilliancy, 
when  the  stage-coach,  which  was  to  convey  Marion  away, 
drove  up  to  the  door.  The  two  friends  walked  hand  in 
hand  to  the  gate,  when  Mary's  eye  caught  the  Constella- 
tion of  Orion  in  the  eastern  sky.  Directing  the  eye  of  her 
friend  to  it,  they  both  stood  for  a  few  moments  silently 
looking  up  at  this  splendid  constellation,  then  parted,  never 
more  to  meet,  till  the  arch  of  this  lower  heaven,  in  all  its 
brightness,  shall  have  passed  away.  As  she  returned  to 
the  house,  she  seemed  bewildered  that  Orion  should  have 
appeared  at  that  time,  saying,  "  I  thought  it  was  only  in 
winter  that  we  saw  it  in  this  place."  Her  mother  reminded 
her  that  she  had  never  been  out  under  the  open  sky  in  the 
month  of  August,  at  four  o'clock  in  the  morning.  This 
recalled  at  once  her  bewildered  thoughts,  and  she  stood  for 
a  few  moments  in  the  portico,  over  which  a  grape  vine, 
heavily  laden  with  fruit,  was  twining  its  branches.  The 
cool  morning  air,  which  gently  stirred  the  leaves,  and  shed 
forth  the  fragrance  of  the  ripening  clusters,  seemed  to 
soothe  her  throbbing  temples  and  aching  heart.  Some- 
time after  her  death,  amongst  her  papers,  were  found  the 
following  lines,  which  the  foregoing  incident  seems  to  have 
suggested. 


34  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

''  On  seeing  Orion',  in  August,  a  few  hours  before  sunrise. 

"  I  little  deem'd  that  thou  wert  near, 
King  of  the  starry  throng  ! 
I  thought  when  fields  were  brown  and  sere, 
'Twas  then  thou'd  pass  along  : 
And  yet  I  see  thy  bands  of  light 
Beaming  from  yon  blue  vault, 
Brighter  than  gems  of  eastern  mines. 
With  glittering  diamonds  fraught. 

How  oft  when  winter's  icy  hand 

Hath  bound  each  vale  and  hill, 

I've  seen  thee  make  thy  nightly  course 

In  grandeur,  proud  and  still ; 

And  one  I  lov'd  was  with  me  then, 

And  oft  with  her  I  look'd 

Up  to  the  cold  blue  sky  where  thou 

Thy  mighty  circuit  took. 

We  watch'd  thee  with  thy  starry  train, 

And  thought  that  thou  must  look 

In  silent  mockery  on  our  earth, 

As  'twere  a  thing  of  nought. 

And  now,  while  on  the  clust'ring  vines 

The  fruit  hangs  heavily, 

Thy  girdle  in  the  east  doth  shine 

Before  the  rising  day. 

And  hast  thou  come,  proud  Orion  I 

At  this  our  parting  hour. 

To  call  back  days  of  happiness 

Which  we  may  see  no  more  1 

With  mingled  awe  and  grief  we  stand 

Beneath  thy  pale  cold  beams. 

While  scenes  of  pleasure  long  gone  by. 

Pass  us  in  saddened  trains. 

Thou  shin'st  upon  our  parting  hour. 
And  still  as  years  roll  by. 


MRS>  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  35 

Thou  wilt  pursue  thy  onward  course, 

Bright  monarch  !  in  the  sky — 

And  e'en  like  Him  who  plac'd  thee  high 

Within  thine  azure  home, 

Thou  all  unchanged  wilt  onward  pass 

Round  the  eternal  throne." 

Mary  was  in  the  habit  of  expressing  her  feelings  in 
poetry,  when  her  sensibilities  were  roused,  especially 
when  about  to  be  separated  from  a  friend — but  she  did 
nothing  which  nmight  lead  to  the  knowledge  of  her  writing 
poetry,  except  to  put  her  pieces  into  the  hand  of  the  indi- 
viduals for  whom  they  were  designed. 

As  Mary  needed  some  relaxation,  after  her  long  confine- 
ment in  school,  and  also  to  be  diverted  from  her  sense  of 
loneliness  when  her  young  friend  left  her,  it  was  thought 
best  that  she  hould  spend  the  winter  following  these 
events,  in  New  Haven.  But  another  reason  for  sending 
her  there  was,  the  many  sources  of  improvement  which 
would  be  open  to  her  in  that  place. 

This  was  a  very  important  period  to  Mary,  and  perhaps 
the  most  critical  one  in  her  whole  life.  It  was  once  re- 
marked by  a  father,  that  "  it  is  a  very  difficult  thing  to 
emancipate  a  child  gracefully,  from  parental  authority." 
Something  analogous  to  this,  might  be  said  to  have  been 
the  state  of  Mary  at  this  time.  She  was  just  beginning  to 
think  and  act  for  herself — she  was  about  to  find  her  place  in 
society  ;  and  the  position  she  now  took,  would  in  all 
probability  be  the  one  which  she  would  maintain  through 
life. 

It  was  in  the  month  of  October,  1838,  that  she  was 
taken  to  New  Haven  by  her  father,  and  placed  for  the 
winter  in  the  family  of  Dr.  Fitch.  At  the  close  of  her  first 
day  in  this  family,  she  writes,  "  Dear  father  gave  me  much 
excellent  advice  during  our  ride,  which  I  intend  to  remem- 


36  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


ber.  Do  please,  mother,  write  me  soon  and  often,  and  tell 
me  how  I  must  conduct.  I  hope  soon  to  become  accus- 
tomed to  the  regulations  of  the  family,  and  think  I  shall 
find  much  time  to  read  and  to  improve — and  now  if  my 
heart  will  keep  right,  I  see  not  but  that  I  may  have  a  very 
pleasant  and  quiet  winter." 

At  the  close  of  the  first  week,  she  writes  again, — "  Nov. 
1st.  I  prize  every  moment  which  is  spent  in  Mrs.  Fitch's 
society.  She  appears  to  have  read  and  thought  much, 
and  by  conversing  with  her  only  a  short  time,  I  learn  what 
would  be  of  great  value  to  me,  if  I  could  only  remember 
it.  She  seems  an  observer  of  human  nature,  so  much  so, 
that  she  has  found  out  my  weak  points  already." 

Again  to  her  father  she  writes, — "  I  am  very  happy  in 
the  society  of  my  dear  Mrs.  Fitch.  Her  views  of  life  are 
so  rational,  and  her  Christian  principles  are  such  as  I  wish 
every  one  could  possess.  Her  views  coincide  with  yours, 
and  my  dear  mother's,  and  with  so  many  kind  guardians 
to  point  out  to  me  the  path  of  duty,  I  should  be  very  much 
in  fault,  should  I  mistake  it." 

In  this  family  she  found  much  to  gratify  her  taste,  par- 
ticularly her  love  of  flowers  and  music.  A  few  slight  noti- 
ces of  hers,  may  help  to  fill  out  a  picture  of  her  life  at  this 
time.  "  I  have  removed  my  writing  apparatus  to  the 
green-house,  but  it  is  rather  too  tempting  a  place,  for  I  have 
half  a  mind  to  jump  up  and  look  at  the  flowers,  there  are 
so  many  beautiful  ones  here."  In  the  morning  she  writes, 
"  The  sun,  as  it  shines  in  through  the  plants  in  the  green- 
house, does  look  beautifully ;"  and  again  at  evening,  ''  I 
have  just  risen  to  see  how  softly  and  brightly  the  moon 
shines  in  upon  the  flowers,  making  it  look  like  some  fairy 
land." 

She  had  naturally  a  rich  and  sweet  voice,  but  for  the 
modulation  of  this,  as  well  as  for  her  exquisite  touch  of  the 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  37 

piano,  she  Avas  greatly  indebted  to  the  fine  musical  taste  of 
Dr.  Fitch. 

In  regard  to  the  manner  of  spending  her  time,  she  writes, 
"My  time  glides  away  smoothly  and  quietly  here,  and  I 
hope  it  is  spent  usefully.  The  young;  ladies  have  invited 
me  to  join  their  sewing  society,  and  as  Mrs.  F.  approves 
of  it,  I  have  consented  to  do  so.  After  prayers  and  break- 
fast, I  read  every  morning  a  chapter  to  Mrs.  Fitch  in  the 
French  Testament,  which  1  find  very  improving,  for  she 
is  an  excellent  scholar  in  that  language.  We  sew  during 
the  morning,  when  generally  some  one  reads.  At  half 
past  eleven,  we  go  to  the  laboratory,  where  the  chemical 
lectures  are  delivered;  and  this  takes  up  all  the  remainder 
of  the  time  until  the  dinner  hour,  which  is  at  one  o'clock. 
We  make  our  calls  during  the  afternoon,  and  write  or  sew, 
and  have  music  during  the  evening." 

Of  her  reading  she  says, — "  Mrs.  Fitch  is  reading 
Shakspeare  with  me,  and  some  of  Milton's  short  poems. 
We  have  just  finished  Marshall's  Life  of  Washington,  and 
found  it  very  interesting,  though  he  told  us  not  much  about 
the  life  of  his  hero,  excepting  as  it  was  connected  with  the 
revolution.  We  have  thought  it  best  to  read  '  Spark's' 
also,  because  it  contains  many  of  his  private  letters,  and 
also  a  large  number  of  interesting  facts,  of  which  Marshall 
makes  no  mention." 

To  the  books  already  named,  were  added  many  others 
equally  valuable — and  her  reading  during  the  winter  was 
rendered  both  interesting  and  profitable,  as  it  was  enriched 
by  the  criticisms  of  Mrs.  Fitch,  which  were  highly  dis- 
criminating and  useful. 

Besides   the  Chemical,  she   attended  the  Philosophical 
Lectures,  and  a  valuable  course  on  Ancient  History  ;  and 
also  some  shorter  courses,  on  other  subjects.     Of  these 
4 


38  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

lectures,  she  was  in  the  habit  of  taking  notes,  and  often 
spoke  of  them  pleasantly,  in  her  letters  home. 

Of  the  Chemical  Lectures  she  writes,  "  They  are  very 
interesting.  The  experiments  are  beautiful.  To  day, 
Prof.  Siiliman  made  a  thermometer,  and  we  were  all  much 
interested  v/ith  the  process.  I  sat  breathless  while  he 
heated  the  thin  glass  ball  to  expand  the  quicksilver  and 
exhaust  the  air.  There  was  danger  that  the  ball  would 
break  with  the  heat,  but  Mr.  S.  was  peculiarly  fortunate, 
and  nothing  occurred  to  hinder  the  result. 

Mary  ever  cherished  the  most  grateful  recollections  of 
this  winter.  It  was  to  her  among  the  bright  visions  of  the 
past — such  as  she  never  expected  to  meet  with  again. 
But  whenever  she  spoke  of  the  advantages  of  this  winter, 
she  always  named  first,  the  benefit  which  she  derived  from 
intercourse  with  Mrs.  Fitch.  Of  this  lady,  she  wrote, 
"  I  cannot  feel  sufficiently  grateful,  that  I  am  permitted  to 
enjoy  the  society  and  friendship  of  one  so  highly  gifted  in 
intellect,  and  of  such  warm  devoted  piety." 

To  a  friend,  the  summer  after  her  return  home,  she 
writes  thus.  "  I  passed,  as  you  very  well  know,  a  delight- 
ful winter;  and  I  now  look  back  upon  it  as  the  most  im- 
portant six  months  in  my  whole  life.  I  believe  it  has 
given  the  coloring  to  my  whole  existence.  I  cannot  find 
words  to  express  my  grantude  to  my  dear  Mrs.  Fitch.  If 
I  am  ever  of  any  use  in  the  world,  or  if  my  mind  is  in  any 
degree  directed  to  worthy  objects,  it  will,  next  to  the  exer- 
tions of  my  own  dear  parents,  be  owing  to  that  excellent 
lady.  She  is  just  the  friend  I  need,  and  never  in  this 
world  will  she  know  how  much  good  she  has  done." 

Mary  remembered  this  winter  as  an  important  one  to 
her  on  another  account.  So  many  new  trains  of  thought 
passed  through  her  mind,  presenting  such  new  views,  and 
awakening  such  new  emotions,  that  it  seemed  to  her,   as 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  39 

if  a  change  had  passed  over  her  whole  being.  A  few 
weeks  before  her  return  home,  she  writes  thus  to  her 
father. 

''  April  5th,  1839. — I  feel,  that  during  this  winter,  my 
views  and  feelings  on  many,  nay,  on  almost  every  subject, 
have  changed.  When  I  think  of  what  I  was  last  summer, 
of  the  manner  in  which  1  then  thought  and  acted,  I  am 
almost  disposed  to  doubt  my  own  personal  identity,  so  dif- 
ferent am  I  now.  Yet  I  can  hardly  tell  you  the  exact 
things  in  which  my  views  differ  from  what  they  once  were, 
and  if  you  were  to  see  me  now,  I  do  not  know  that  I  should 
appear  changed.  I  believe  I  have  thought  more  this 
winter,  than  I  ever  did  before  in  my  whole  life.  1  have 
read  more  than  ever  before.*  1  have  already  begun  to 
think  what  I  shall  do  this  summer,  and  I  hope  some  plans 
I  have  with  regard  to  reading,  maybe  put  into  execution." 

"  You  told  me  in  one  of  your  letters, — '  have  more  of 
Cato,' — and  I  have  thought  of  it  very  often,  since.  De- 
cision of  character  is  what  I  need  very  much,  and  I  have 
found  out  lately,  that  the  want  of  it  has  been  the  cause  of 
much  of  my  weakness.  It  has  been  very  easy  to  mark  out 
any  course  of  study  I  have  wis!ied  to  pursue,  and  to  begin 
it  in  a  very  fair  manner  ;  but  my  want  of  firmness  has  made 
it  very  difficult  for  me  to  continue,  and  so,  many  plans  of 
usefulness  have  been  given  up,  for  no  other  reason,  than  for 
the  want  of  decision  to  carry  them  on.     I  have  suffered  so 

*  Mary  might  have  added,  that  she  had  written  more  than  ever 
before.  Her  letters  to  her  correspondents,  during  the  six  months 
she  spent  in  New  Haven,  covered  several  quires  of  paper,  compactly 
written.  These  contained  much  interesting,  and  some  useful  mat- 
ter; particularly,  her  own  views  on  various  subjects;  and  there  is 
a  vein  of  sprightliness  running  through  them,  which  makes  them 
interesting  to  those  to  whom  they  were  addressed;  but  they  are 
chiefly  valuable,  as  they  are  a  faithful  transcript  of  her  affectionate, 
confiding  heart. 


40  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

much  for  the  want  of  it,  that  I  fanc}^  I  could  make  out  a 
very  good  catalogue  of  the  evils  to  which  its  absence  gives 
rise.  But  I  do  not  wish  to  weary  you,  dear  father,  with 
an  account  of  my  weaknesses,  though  it  is  some  comfort 
to  me  to  understand  myself;  and  I  hope  I  am  not  yet  too 
old  to  amend.  Do  you  know,  papa,  I  shall  be  eighteen 
very  soon  r  Just  think  of  your  daughter  being  so  old  ! 
Oh,  I  cannot  think  of  it.  I  should  like  to  be  seventeen  for 
a  long,  long  time  to  come." 

Time  alwa^^s  passed  rapidly  with  Mary.  A  moment  is 
never  recollected  to  have  hung  heavily  upon  her  hands. 
She  placed  her  standard  of  character  high  in  every  respect, 
and  this  led  her  sometimes  to  undertake  more  than  could 
be  accomplished.  During  this  winter  she  wrote  thus  to 
her  mother — ^'  I  do  feel  that  it  is  best  to  have  a  high  stand- 
ard, for  then  we  shall  rise  higher,  although  we  may  not 
entirely  succeed  in  reaching  it."  An  incident  on  the 
morning  when  she  was  twelve  years  old,  here  occurs  to 
the  mind  of  the  writer.  On  entering  the  room  where  her 
birth  day  presents  were  spread  out  upon  the  table,  after 
casting  a  look  at  these  mementos  of  affection,  she  turned 
to  her  mother,  and  with  much  emotion  exclaimed,  "  Oh 
mamma,  I  have  now  entered  my  teens,  and  1  have  not 
accomplished  half  what  I  intended  to  have  done." 

In  the  somewhat  extensive  and  varied  circle  in  which  it 
was  her  lot  in  life  to  move,  there  were  not  wanting  occa- 
sions which  might  enable  her  to  test  the  real  value  of 
earthly  pleasures.  The  syren  cup,  in  its  rounds,  was  not 
unfrequently  passed  into  her  hand,  and  if  she  sometimes 
sipped  of  its  sweets,  it  was  not  so  much  to  see  how  near 
she  could  approach  the  boundaries  of  evil,  and  remain  un- 
harmed, as  from  the  difficulty  of  ascertaining  the  right 
course.  It  was  ever  a  study  with  her,  how  she  might 
recommend  the  religion  which  was  so  precious  to  herself, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  41 

to  those  amongst  whom  she  moved,  who  were  destitute  of 
it.  For  this,  she  was  ever  ready  to  sacrifice  every  thing 
but  principle.  An  incident  in  her  seventeenth  year,  may 
perhaps  serve  as  an  illustration  of  this  part  of  her  charac- 
ter. Into  the  musical  circles  of  which  she  was,  for  several 
winters,  a  very  happy  member,  dancing  had  been  introdu- 
ced, and  she  had  taken  a  part  in  it,  as  a  thing  of  course. 
At  length,  something  occurred  which  turned  her  attention 
to  the  propriety  of  professors  of  religion  participating  in 
such  an  amusement.  Her  example  was  appealed  to  by  a 
young  professor,  who  attended  public  balls,  in  justification 
of  the  thing.  When  asked  by  a  friend  whether  he  thought 
the  practice  consistent  with  his  Christian  profession,  he 
replied  that  "  Mary  Hawes  danced."  True,  there  was  a 
difference  between  the  two  cases,  but  this  was  merely  cir- 
cumstantial. The  difference  related  to  the  time,  the  place, 
the  company,  and  not  to  the  thing  itself, — in  both  cases  it 
was  dancing.  On  hearing  this,  Mary  promptly  discontin- 
ued the  practice,  and  gave  the  whole  subject  a  serious  and 
very  careful  investigation,  which  resulted  in  the  conviction 
that,  however  right  it  might  be  for  others,  it  was  wrong 
for  her,  and  she  ever  after  conscientiously  refrained  from 
participating  in  it. 

In  a  letter  to  one  of  her  Hartford  friends,  during  her 
winter  in  New  Haven,  she  said,  referring  to  the  "  Music- 
als," "•  They  were  very  pleasant.  I  look  back  to  those 
Friday  evenings  last  winter,  with  much  pleasure,  yet  with 
some  pain,  for  I  did  suffer  in  refusing  to  join  in  the  dancing. 
Perhaps  it  seemed  strange,  and  too  rigid  to  you,  that  M. 
and  myself  refused  the  entreaties  of  the  girls — but  though 
it  did  pain  us  to  do  so,  as  it  appeared  unkind,  yet  we  could 
not  in  conscience  join  with  them.  There  was  no  harm 
in  the  thing  itself,  and  I  suppose  that  I  could,  without 
injury  to  myself,  Lave  engaj,ed  in  the  amusement,  and  en- 
4* 


42  I^niS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

joyed  it  highly.  Yet,  there  were  other  things  to  be  con- 
sidered, which  fully  convinced  me,  that  it  would  be  wrong 
for  me  to  do  it,  however  right  it  might  be  for  others." 

At  tirst,  Mary  continued  to  meet  with  these  circles,  and 
unite  with  them  in  the  music,  but  refrained  from  the  dan- 
cing ;  but  finding  this  rather  annoying  to  her  young  friends, 
with  their  consent,  she  retired  when  the  dancing  commen- 
ced, having  first  contributed  her  share  to  the  musical  enter- 
tainment of  the  evening.  At  length  circumstances  convin- 
ced her,  that  it  was  best  to  refrain  from  both.  These 
musical  circles  afforded  almost  the  only  recreation  in  which 
she  could  unite  with  others,  at  the  time  of  her  retiring  from 
them.  They  were  also  composed  of  friends  whom  she 
tenderly  loved,  and  in  the  promotion  of  whose  happiness, 
she  found  her  own  increased.  Her  love  of  music  was  also 
such  as  few  possess,  and  the  exquisite  delicacy  of  her  taste, 
rendered  her  performance  a  rich  addition  to  the  entertain- 
ment of  the  evening,  and  made  her  friends  exceedingly 
reluctant  to  have  her  retire.  In  addition  to  this,  an  entry 
in  her  private  journal  shows,  that  it  was  at  a  time  when 
she  "  pined  to  mingle  more  in  society."  It  is  not  surpri- 
sing therefore,  that  it  should  have  cost  her  somewhat  of  a 
severe  struggle  to  give  them  up.  Besides,  in  refraining 
from  a  participation  in  what  appeared  wrong  to  her,  she 
would  place  herself  in  the  attitude  of  a  reprover  ;  and  how 
could  she  do  this  ?  Her  gentle  nature  shrank  from  the 
trial,  but  she  sought  and  obtained  strength,  from  a  higher 
source  than  man,  and  a  consciousness  of  doing  right  sus- 
tained her. 

As  years  passed  by,  and  she  gained  more  light  upon  the 
subject,  having  time  to  test  the  effect  produced  on  the 
character  of  those  who  were  in  the  habit  of  indulging  in  the 
amusement,  and  also  being  able  to  obtain  from  others  whom 
she  highly  respected,  the  testimony  which  they  could  give 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  43 

her  from  their  own  experience,  she  reviewed  this  early 
decision  with  comfort  and  satisfaction. 

And  if  she  were  now  asked  whether  she  regretted  this 
decision,  what  response  would  come  back  from  the  hills  of 
light,  where  she  is  uniting  in  the  anthems  of  heaven  ? 
Would  it  be  regret  at  this  slight  sacrifice  ?  Would  it  not 
rather  be  regret,  that  while  she  had  the  opportunity,  she 
made  so  few  and  so  feeble  sacrifices  for  "  Him  who  loved 
her,  and  gave  himself  for  her." 

The  course  pursued  by  Mary  in  relation  to  the  subject 
above  referred  to,  had  an  eminently  happy  effect  on  her 
Christian  character  and  influence  ;  and  now  that  she  is 
gone,  it  is  remembered  by  her  parents  with  the  most  grate- 
ful satisfaction,  that  she  was  enabled,  by  divine  grace, 
to  take  a  stand  so  honorable  to  religion,  and  so  adapted  to 
prepare  her  for  her  early  removal. 


CHAPTER    IV. 


EARLY    CORRESPONDENCE. 


When  it  was  in  contemplation  to  prepare  a  brief  Memoir 
of  Mary,  a  friend  who  knew  her  well,  and  who  highly- 
appreciated  her,  made  the  following  suggestions  in  regard 
to  the  best  way  of  doing  this.  "  I  think  that  her  writings 
will  give  a  more  vivid  impression  of  her  character,  than 
any  thing  else.  They  all  show  the  same  conscientious- 
ness, warm  feelings,  and  quick  perception  of  the  good  and 
beautiful,  which  were  so  strikingly  manifested  in  her  life." 

Believing  this  to  be  true,  and  also  having  abundant  mate- 
rial of  the  kind,  the  remainder  of  the  volume  will  be  com- 
posed of  sketches  furnished  by  her  own  pen,  with  occa- 
sionally a  remark  or  two  in  addition,  by  way  of  connection 
or  explanation. 

This  plan  is  also  in  accordance  with  an  opinion  which 
Mary  herself  entertained.  In  a  letter  to  a  friend  during 
the  winter  she  spent  in  New  Haven,  she  says,  *'  I  think 
there  is  no  way  in  which  the  character  of  a  person  is  so 
fully  disclosed,  as  in  his  letters.  The  leading  traits  gen- 
erally appear  in  one  way  or  another.  1  believe  what  lit- 
tle character  I  possess,  appears  in  my  letters.  We  are 
sometimes  better  able  to  express  our  ideas  and  feelings  in 
writing,  than  in  conversation  ;  and  I  have  found  out  more 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  45 

of  the  character  of  my  friends  at  Hartford,  by  their  letters, 
than  I  should  by  being  in  their  society  for  years." 

The  amount  of  her  writing  was  indeed  considerable,  for 
one  who  occupied  so  quiet  a  station  ;  and  the  friend  just 
alluded  to,  was  doubtless  correct  in  saying,  that  "  she  wrote 
three  times  as  much  as  most  young  ladies,  who  do  not  ac- 
complish half  what  she  did  in  other  things,  and  yet  are  by 
no  means  idle."  It  should  be  added,  that  she  seldom  devo- 
ted to  writing,  that  portion  of  time,  which  is  ordinarily 
spent  in  the  dail}',  active  duties  of  life.  She  had  a  surpri- 
sing facility  in  saving  the  fragments  of  time,  and  making 
them  tell  in  somethino;  tano;ible  afterwards  ;  and  much  of 
her  writing  was  done  in  those  odd  moments,  which  are 
usually  spent  in  recreation  or  rest,  or  rather  by  most  young 
persons  in  doing  nothing  at  all.  She  had  also  a  very  good 
facility  in  the  use  of  the  pen,  thinking  and  writing  with 
great  accuracy,  seldom  omitting  a  word  or  even  a  letter, 
and  never  copying.  Facility  and  dispatch  were,  however, 
in  her  case,  wholly  the  result  of  practice.  When  in  her 
childhood,  she  first  began  to  embody  her  ideas  in  a  school 
composition,  it  seemed  as  if  she  never  would  be  able  to  do 
this,  and  four  or  six  lines  at  most,  was  all  that  her  small 
stock  of  thought  could  possibly  furnish.  And  then  she  had 
rather  more  difficulty  than  is  usual,  in  learning  to  hold  her 
pen,  being  naturally  inclined  to  use  the  wrong  hand,  and 
there  was  always  something  of  weakness  in  the  right  one. 

Her  correspondents  were  numerous,  but  it  was  only  com- 
paratively a  few  with  whom  she  kept  up  a  constant  inter- 
course through  the  medium  of  the  pen,  whenever  she  was 
separated  from  their  society.  With  these  she  communica- 
ted without  reserve,  on  whatever  interested  her  at  the 
time,  in  something  of  the  style  of  animated  conversation. 
But  her  letters  must  speak  for  themselves,  with  this  excep- 
tion, however,  that  what  are  inserted  in  this  volume,  are 


46  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

only  extracts,  and  therefore  none  of  them  can  appear  with 
the  beauty  and  sprightliness  which  they  wear  as  a  whole. 
Although  in  all  her  letters  there  were  sufficient  indica- 
tions that  she  was  always  under  the  influence  of  religious 
principle,  and  that  she  greatly  desired  her  frien  >  might 
sympathise  with  her  in  this,  yet  there  were  times  when 
she  made  a  more  than  ordinary  effort  to  turn  their  atten- 
tion to  the  subject  of  religion.  It  is  hoped  that  it  will  not 
be  out  of  place,  to  insert  a  few  of  the  many  letters  she 
wrote  for  this  purpose,  in  this  little  volume,  that  so  she, 
*' being  dead,"  may  yet  continue  to  speak  to  others,  in  the 
same  simple  and  touching  eloquence  with  which  she  was 
ever  wont  to  plead  for  the  care  of  the  soul.  They  will 
therefore  be  dispersed  through  the  remaining  pages,  accord- 
ing to  their  dates. 

To  S ,  one  of  her  early  friends. 

Hartford,  July,  1838. 
"  Two  weeks  more,  and  my  name  will  cease  to  be  en- 
rolled among  those  who  attend  the  Seminary,  and  I  shall 
have  passed  those  old  walls,  never  again  to  return  as  a 
pupil.  It  is  a  pleasant  and  also  a  painful  thought.  The 
last  of  any  thing  is  sad,  but  I  am  inclined  to  think  the  last 
term  of  school  is  particularly  so.  The  parting  look  at  the 
old  familiar  seats,  where  we  have  so  often  bowed  at  the 
feet  of  learning,  the  farewells  spoken  with  companions  of 
our  study,  and  more  than  all,  the  adieus  to  our  beloved 
teachers,  are  painful  tasks,  hut  they  will  come.  I  have 
been  for  many  years  at  the  Seminary,  until  I  am  familiar 
with  every  spot,  and  I  can  truly  say,  that  I  have  spent 
hours  of  unmingled  pleasure  there,  and  I  do  not  think  I 
shall  ever  meet  happiness  purer,  and  less  tainted  with 
earth  in  any  other  place.  Mr.  B.  is  so  good,  so  excellent, 
I  feel  that  I  have  but  just  begun  to  know  his  worth,  he 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  47 

takes  such  a  kind  interest  in  all  his  pupils,  and  watches  so 
over  us  with  a  father's  care.  I  feel  more  at  leaving  him 
than  any  one  else.  Mrs.  Y.  too,  I  shall  always  remember 
with  love  and  respect.  She  has  shown  me  great  kindness, 
during  all  the  time  I  have  been  at  school. 

Dear  S.,  we  have  had  a  very  interesting  time  since  you 
left  us.  1  hope  we  feel  thankful  to  our  Heavenly  Father 
for  his  goodness  in  giving  us  such  a  precious  revival. 
When  you  return  here,  I  think  you  will  find  a  change  in 
some  of  those  who  were  gay  and  thoughtless  when  you 
left. 

Dear  S.,  may  I  be  permitted  to  urge  upon  your  atten- 
tion, that  subject  which  I  know  has  in  time  past  interested 
you,  and  which  I  would  hope  does  so  still.  Have  you, 
my  dear  friend,  retained  any  thoughts  on  the  subject  of 
religion,  or  has  it  all  passed  from  your  mind  ?  Is  there 
any  more  convenient  season  for  which  you  are  waiting,  ere 
you  make  your  peace  with  our  Father  in  Heaven  ?  He  is 
such  a  good  Father,  that  we  would  persuade  you  to  come 
and  make  trial  for  yourself.  He  is  waiting  to  make  you 
his  child.  Can  you  stay  away  any  longer  from  such  a  kind 
friend  .?  Perhaps  you  think  that  you  have  friends  enough, 
and  happiness  enough  ;  but  without  God  for  your  friend, 
and  religion  for  your  happiness,  you  are,  and  must  ever 
be,  destitute  of  true  enjoyment. 

You  have  permitted  me,  in  time  past,  to  address  you  on 
this  subject,  and  may  I  not  hope  that  you  will  excuse  me 
now  ?  O,  my  dear  friend,  when  I  see  so  many  whom  I 
love,  entering  the  path  of  life,  I  think  of  one  who  has  ever 
been  dear  to  me,  and  I  pray  that  she  too  may  come  and 
walk  in  that  path  which  leads  to  happiness,  and  everlast- 
ing life.     May  it  not  be  so,  soon,  dear  S  ?" 


48  IklRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

The  one  to  whom  the  following  is  addressed,  was  a  very- 
dear  friend  of  Mary's,  and  she  seems  to  have  preferred 
writing,  as  it  allowed  her  to  use  greater  plainness  with  one 
with  whom  she  found  it  to  be  a  very  delicate  and  dilEcult 
thing  to  converse  on  the  subject  of  personal  religion. 

"  I  have  wished  for  a  long  time,   dear ,  to  speak 

with  you  on  a  subject  which  should  be  interesting  to  us 
both  ;  but  whenever  I  have  attempted,  it  seemed  as  if  a 
spell  bound  me  which  I  could  not  break.  I  do  not  wish 
to  preach  a  sermon,  for  that  is  not  my  office,  but  I  do  wish 
as  a  Christian,  to  speak  to  my  dearest  friend.  On  every 
subject  we  converse  freely,  and  our  sympathies  on  other 
subjects  are  also  one.  Should  not  our  '  aims,  our  hopes,' 
be  one  ?  We  are  now  entering  upon  the  active  concerns 
of  life,  and  already  do  we  form  our  opinions  on  the  various 
subjects,  which  come  up  before  us,  and  ought  we  not  at 
this  important  period  of  our  existence,  to  consider  the  sub- 
ject of  religion,  and  to  make  up  our  minds  as  to  the  influ- 
ence which   its   truths  shall  have  over  us   through  life  ? 

Dear ,  1  have  longed  to  tell  you  to  what  I  feared  your 

dissatisfaction  with  yourself  was  owing.  Is  it  not  to  a 
want  of  fixed,  Christian  principle  to  guide  you  ?  Without 
such  a  principle  for  our  guide,  how  can  we  expect  to  thread 
the  wildering  mazes  of  this  life.  The  principles  and  max- 
ims of  the  world  are  radically  wrong,  and  the  bible  is  our 
only  guide.  This  is  the  golden  clue  to  conduct  us  out  of 
this  labyrinth  of  uncertainty.  You  have  said  that  you 
wish  to  study  this  winter — and  will  it  not  be  best  to  begin 
at  the  fountain  head  of  all  knowledge,  so  that  all  you  learn 
may  serve  to  raise  you  higher  in  the  scale  of  being  ?  Ah, 
of  what  use  will  it  be  to  study  the  works  of  God,  if  we  are 
at  variance  with  His  righteous  laws.  It  will  but  serve  to 
increase  our  misery,  if  we,  who  see  his  wisdom  and  glory 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  49 

in  the  creation  around  us,  still  keep  on  sinning  against 
him. 

My  dear  friend,  let  me  entreat  you  to  think  of  this  sub- 
ject. Do  not  put  it  away  lightly.  You  are  living  for  eter- 
nity. O,  that  this  truth  might  impress  itself  so  upon  you, 
that  you  could  not  forget  it  ;  that  its  voice  might  sound  in 
your  ear,  whether  in  the  gay  throng,  or  the  silence  of  your 
own  chamber,  till  you  should  be  compelled  to  stop  and 
inquire  what  you  should  do  to  prepare  for  the  scenes  before 
you-" 

To  the  same. 

New  Haven,  1838. 

*^  Oh,  how  much  there  is  yet  to  know !  This  vast  uni- 
verse lies  before  us,  with  its  infinite  mass  of  matter  and 
mind,  and  then  there  is  an  eternity  in  which  to  exercise 

our  powers.     Oh, ,  how  much    we  may  accomplish  ! 

Just  in  the  spring  time  of  our  existence,  with  souls  which 
will  forever  rise  in  purity  and  blessedness  ;  or  will  forever 
sink  in  degradation  and  woe.  Our  careless,  childish  days 
have  passed,  and  now  the  serious  business  of  living  and 
acting  in  God's  universe,  is  beginning  to  be  felt  by  us. 

K'lay  we,  my  dear  friend,  have  One  for  our  guide,  who 
will  lead  us  on  in  the  paths  of  wisdom  and  virtue,  until  we 
shall  arrive  at  that  state,  where  the  soul  will  once  more  be 
in  its  native  glory." 

To  her  friend  at  the  South,  the  Summer  after  her  return  from 
New  Haven. 

Hartford,  July  13,  1839. 
*'  My  dear  M.^I  returned  yesterday  from  a  delightful 
visit  to  Farniington,  where  1  have  been  spending  a  few 

5 


50  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

days  in  the  lovely  family  of  Mr.  N.  I  took  your  letter 
with  me,  intending  to  have  a  pleasant  time  in  writing  to 
you  among  the  groves  and  hills  of  that  sweet  place;  but 
as  every  hour  was  occupied,  I  was  obliged  to  forego  the 
pleasure.  You  never  went  to  the  house  I  believe,  but  I 
know  you  would  like  it.  The  rooms  are  airy,  yet  home- 
like, and  there  is  every  thing  to  gratify  the  taste  in  music, 
flowers,  books,  drawings,  &c.  There  is  a  wild  little  glen, 
just  at  the  foot  of  the  garden,  which  has  been  left  in  its 
natural  state.  I  took  my  book  there  one  morning,  and 
found  it  a  very  fit  place  to  read  of  highland  scenes  as  they 
are  pictured  by  Scott.  A  seat  has  been  built  on  the  edge 
of  the  ravine,  enclosed  by  a  wooden  parapet;  and  while  I 
sat  there  and  looked  down  on  the  little  brook,  which  mur- 
mured at  the  bottom  of  the  glen,  and  saw  the  sun-light 
dancing  through  the  thick  trees,  and  playing  among  the 
shadows,  it  seemed  like  a  spot  for  a  fairy  queen  to  hold 
her  court. 

It  is  a  year,  a  w^hole  year,  since  we  graduated.  Can  you 
believe  it  ?  I  can  ;  for  never  did  a  year  seem  so  long  in 
some  respects,  although  it  seems  short  in  others.  Tell 
me,  Marion,  which  were  happiest,  school  days,  or  days 
out  of  school  ?  Ask  me,  and  I  will  tell  you  that  this  last 
year  has  been  the  happiest  of  my  whole  life.  I  only  wished 
you,  dear  M.,  a  little  nearer.  I  feel  as  though  I  had  just 
begun  to  live  ;  1  have  such  new  feelings,  such  delightful 
themes  for  contemplation — and  then,  1  am  so  happy  in  my 
friendships.  I  believe  there  never  was  any  one  who  has 
so  much  to  be  thankful  for.  To  be  sure  I  have  trials  ; 
and  who  has  not?  How  can  we  expect  to  live  in  this 
world,  without  some  things  to  trouble  us  ?  My  greatest 
trials  are  from  my  own  evil  heart.  There  are  times  when 
every  thing  looks  gloomy  and  perplexed,  and  when  I  fear, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LEXXEP.  5| 

I  shall  never  know  the  truth  ;*  shall  never  be  able  to  find 
its  hiding  place,  in  this  labyrinth  of  perplexity.  But  our 
heavenly  guide,  who  says,  '  ask  and  ye  shall  receive,' 
will  not  leave  in  darkness  any  sincere  inquirer  after  truth  ; 
and  He  who  has  said,  'be  ye  perfect,  as  your  Father  in 
heaven  is  perfect,'  will  He  not  guide  our  feeble  steps,  as 
we  are  attempting  to  follow  him,  until  purified  from  sin, 
we  shall  one  day  stand  forth  in  our  Creator's  image  ? 
While  gazing  on  the  beauties  of  nature,  amid  the  hills  and 
groves  of  the  country,  I  thought,  what  a  heaven  our  earth 
would  be,  were  the  moral  world  as  beautiful  as  the  mate- 
rial. Dear  M.,  do  you  not  think  that  the  goodness  of  our 
Heavenly  Father,  strikingly  appears,  in  permitting  those 
who  forget  him,  to  enjoy  so  much  of  beauty  and  happiness 
as  there  is  in  this  fair  earth  ? 

You  don't  know  how  very  important  I  feel,  in  having 
so  much  to  attend  to  at  home,  that  my  place  is  missed 
when  I  am  absent.  It  has  really  raised  my  self  esteem,  to 
know  that  I  am  needed  any  where,  and  especially  to  know, 
thai  in  the  family  circle  I  may  be  of  some  use.  There 
seems  to  me  no  pleasanter  sphere  of  usefulness,  than  that 
which  the  eldest  daughter  has.  It  is  such  a  comfort  to 
take  the  weight  of  family  duties  off  from  mother,  and  to 
soothe  father  when  he  comes  wearied  from  the  affairs 
which  occupy  his  time — and  then  it  is  delightful  to  aid 
brother  in  his  lessons,  and  to  watch  his  mind  as  it  begins 
to  unfold.  How  careful  I  must  be,  lest  by  a  word  of  mine, 
that  mind  be  directed  wrong  ! 

Tell  me,  dear  M.,  how  you  succeed  in  all  your   plans. 

*  This  state  of  mind,  might  have  been  owing,  in  part,  if  not  en- 
tirely, to  her  having  read  several  of  the  then  new  and  popular  wri- 
tings of  the  day,  such  as  Emerson's,  for  instance,  and  several  trans- 
lations from  the  German,  which,  while  they  dazzled,  also  bewil- 
dered. 


52  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

As  only  daughters  we  have  common  sympathies  ;  and  may 
aid  each  other  in  devising  ways  for  increasing  our  influ- 
ence, and  making  it  of  the  right  kind. 

I  am  writing  to  you,  dear  M.,  in  the  still  noontide,  when 
every  thing  seems  to  have  gone  to  rest but  1  have  prefer- 
red talking  with  you,  to  yielding  to  the  drowsy  influence 
around." 

Her  taste,  as  it  developed  itself  in  the  love  of  the  beau- 
tiful in  nature,  threw  a  charm  over  her  whole  life,  and 
contributed  to  enrich  her  intercourse  with  friends.  It  made 
her  an  exceedingly  desirable  companion  in  a  rural  party. 
There,  away  from  the  world,  with  friends  whom  she  loved, 
she  delighted  to  revel  amidst  the  beauties  of  the  fair  crea- 
tion around  her. 

The  following  description  from  her  pen,  of  a  scene  that 
occurred  in  such  a  party,  of  which  she  was  one,  will  give 
some  idea  of  the  ease  and  readiness  with  which  she  could 
contribute  her  share  to  enliven  such  an  excursion.  Its 
date  also,  places  it  here. 

Neio  Haven ^  August,  1839. 

"  Yesterday  afternoon  we  had  a  delightful  ride  to  Sal- 
tonstall  Lake.  Is  it  not  enchanting  ?  Who  would  think 
that  such  a  little  fairy  region  was  enclosed  by  those  hills  .'* 

While  taking  our  refreshments,  we  heard  voices  on  the 
opposite  shore,  and  could  discern  female  figures  gliding 
amongst  the  dark  trees — gentlemen  too,  one  with  a  guitar. 
We  thought  ourselves  fortunate,  in  selecting  a  different 
side  from  them,  as  they  might  have  considered  us  as  intru- 
ders. Dr.  and  Mrs.  F.  were  too  tired  to  ascend  the  hill, 
so  J.  and  I  thought  we  would  beau  ourselves  up.  We  did 
not  go  round  by  the  path,  but  clinging  hold  of  the  boughs 
of  pine,  we  almost  swung  from  place  to  place,  it  being  too 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  53 

steep  to  admit  of  a  firm  foot  hold.     It  became  easier  after 
we  had  reached  the  regular  path,  and  escaped  the  tangled 
brushwood  ;    and  we  sauntered  on  at  our  leisure,  while  1 
sang  loud  and  carelessly,  using  the  freedom  that  this  moun 
tain  land  gave, 

'  Through  the  wood,  through  the  wood,  follow  and  find  me, 
Search  every  hollow,  each  dingle  and  dell ; 
I  leave  not  the  print  of  a  footstep  behind  me, 

So  they  who  would  see  me,  must  seek  for  me  well.' 

A  voice  came  up  from  the  water,  and  it  repeated,  with 
beautiful  emphasis,  every  word  of  the  song.  I  stood  pet- 
rified with  amazement  and  fear.  I  little  expected  to  have 
awakened  the  echoes  of  the  lake.  J.  enjoyed  my  embar- 
rassment, and  Mrs.  F.,  who  walked  on  the  shore,  called 
to  her  to  have  me  respond  to  the  echo.  But  the  music 
from  the  water  conmienced  again, — '  Shall  we  meet  again, 
Mary?'  and  I  answered,  '  never,  oh  never.' 

Each  word  was  heard  with  perfect  distinctness  in  the 
clear  regions  where  we  stood,  although  neither  party  could 
see  the  other.  We  were  hidden  from  the  lake  by  thick 
pine  trees,  yet  every  ripple  of  the  waters,  and  dipping  of 
the  oar,  sounded  upon  the  still  air.  Mrs.  F.  could  see  the 
musical  boatmen,  and  she  said  they  rested  on  their  oars, 
looking  up  intently  as  they  sung  to  wake  '  the  mountain 
echo.' 

Thus  we  went  on  singing  and  responding  many  beauti- 
ful songs. 

'  Near  the  lake  where  droop'd  the  willow,' 

'  My  heart's  in  the  highlands,  &c.' 

and  many  others.  At  last  we  sang  our  farewells,  and  J. 
and  myself  descended  to  the  shore.  I  should  not  have  been 
willing  to  have  carried  on  this  little  frolic  of  romance,  if  I 
had  not  recognized  the  voice,  (for  it  was  no  other  tlian 

5* 


54  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

W — ,  the  brother  of  the  poet,)  and  had  I  not  been  certain 
also,  that  my  own  was  not  recognized,  for  he  had  never 
heard  me  sing  before.  We  separated  with  no  other  recog- 
nition than  what  our  songs  afforded,  and  returned  to  the 
city. 

I  feel  tempted  to  describe  our  lovely  ride  home  in  the 
evening, — but  words  express  sojeehly  what  we  feel  in  be- 
holding scenes  in  nature.  We  rode  slowly  along  round 
the  shore  of  the  bay,  watching  the  sun  as  it  set,  and  threw 
its  rays  on  the  water.  The  dark  clouds,  which  hung  por- 
tentously in  the  western  horizon,  were  lighted  with  gor- 
geous hues,  and  the  brilliant  reflection  strangely  contrasted 
with  the  sombre  colors  beneath.  The  day  had  been  warm, 
and  the  breeze  which  came  in  from  the  sound,  was  refresh- 
ing to  us  after  our  rambles.  Far  away  to  the  south-east, 
we  could  discern  a  few  light  sails,  while  the  city  lay 
stretched  out  before  us,  with  its  guardian  rocks,  presenting 
their  bold  outline  to  the  sky.  It  was  a  scene  which  might 
tempt  a  painter's  skill." 

To  M.  D. 

October  1st,  1839. 
**  My  dear  M. — I  am  at  present  very  liaypy-,  in  the  society 
of  a  new  friend,  who  speaks  the  language  of  love,  joy,  hope 
and  every  other  feeling  of  the  heart.  Now,  who  do  you 
think  it  is  ?  You  are  no  yankee,  so  I  will  tell  you  that 
the  day  before  yesterday,  I  received  a  beautiful  piano. 
My  friends  all  come  to  see  it,  and  it  returns  their  atten- 
tions with  such  effect,  that  they  are  delighted.  For  my- 
self I  can  say,  that  I  never  heard  a  more  perfect  instru- 
ment. Mr.  G.,  our  organist,  whose  taste  is  considered 
equal  to  any  one  in  this  country,  says  that  it  is  the  finest 
he  has  touched  since  he  came  to  America.  Such  a  union 
of  brilliancy,  softness,  sweetness  and  power,  is  rarely  sur- 
passed by  any  instrument*" 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  55 

To  another  friend,  she  speaks  of  her  piano  thus.  "  Dr. 
F.  came  to  try  my  new  piano,  and  I  was  delighted  with 
the  high  opinion  he  entertains  of  my  '  rose  wood  compan- 
ion.' tie  thinks  it  the  finest  he  has  ever  seen,  and  has 
paid  it  or  me,  a  compHment,  which  is  very  flattering.  He 
has  set  some  beautiful  verses  to  music,  and  inscribed  it  to 
his  friend  Mary,  an  honor  she  feels  quite  unworthy  of. 
The  music  is  very  sweet,  just  suited  to  the  words.  If  you 
were  only  here  I  would  sing  them  to  you." 

The  piano  of  which  she  speaks,  was  presented  to  her  by 
some  highly  respected  and  much  loved  friends  of  her 
father's,  and  was  a  gift  worthy  the  donors.  Many  were 
the  devices  of  her  grateful  heart,  to  make  to  them  some 
suitable  expression  of  her  sense  of  the  favor  they  had  done 
her  ;  but  she  at  last  concluded,  that  to  make  it  subservient 
to  her  better  qualification  for  usefulness  in  life,  would  be 
the  best  return  she  could  make  them,  and  would  also  be  in 
accordance  with  the  object  for  which  it  w- as  given  her. 

To  M.  D. 

Hartford,  Oct.  16,  1839. 
"  Oh,  if  you  were  only  here,  and  1  could  talk  with  you 
instead  of  writing.  1  am  seated  where  I  can  look  far  away 
to  the  south,  and  as  I  gaze  on  the  scene  before  me,  I  can 
almost  imagine  that  I  see  the  spires  and  elms  of  my  own 
New  Haven,  skirting  the  horizon.  How  often  have  I  sat 
at  this  window,  and  wished  that  my  vision  might  extend 
to  that  lovely  city.  'Tis  a  year  next  Monday,  since  I 
went  there  for  the  winter — what  a  thrill  comes  over  my 
spirit,  every  time  I  think  of  last  winter!  I  love  to  dw^ell 
on  each  little  incident — every  hour,  almost  every  moment 
is  as  fresh  to  my  memory,  as  if  it  had  passed  only  yester* 


56  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


day.  The  last  year  has  been  my  happiest ;  and  why  the 
recollection  of  it  is  mingled  with  sadness  1  can  hardly  tell — 
perhaps  because  'tis  past,  never  to  return.  If  I  should  go 
there  ever  again  to  spend  anytime,  it  would  not  be  like  the 
last  winter  ;  for  some  of  my  dearest  friends  have  gone, 
some  have  died,  and  some  changed. 

I  must  tell  you  something  of  the  affairs  of  our  little 
circle.  We  have  a  sewing  society,  which  meets  every 
fortnight  on  Tuesday,  and  a  musical  every  intervening 
Tuesday.  Then  we  hope  also  to  have  a  reading  society, 
and  these  occupations,  together  with  the  Institute  Lectures, 
which  are  quite  fashionable  now,  will  take  up  a  considera- 
ble portion  of  our  time  during  the  winter.  We  have  our 
little  prayer  meetings,  as  usual,  on  Thursday  afternoon  of 
each  week,  and  every  Sabbath  evening  there  is  an  exercise 
in  Doddridge  at  the  Lecture  room.  1  have  quiet,  pleasant 
times  at  home  in  reading,  and  now  and  then,  star  gazing.* 

You  see  how  particular  I  have  been  to  tell  you  of  our 
affairs,  so  that  if  you  choose  to  remember  us  this  winter, 
you  may  imagine  how  we  are  situated.  For  myself  I 
must  say,  that  I  hope  the  coming  winter  will  be  spent  in 
such  a  manner,  that  when  I  look  back  upon  it  from  the 
distant  ages  of  eternity,  it  may  be  with  approbation. 

Had  I  been  told  a  year  ago,  that  M.  would  allow  six 
months  to  pass,  without  writing  to  her  northern  friends,  I 
should  have  said  that  the  person  who  could  make  such  an 
assertion,  was  unworthy  of  my  confidence.  I  know  that 
strange  things  happen  in   this  world,  and  I  must  be  pre- 

*To  these  details  should  be  added,  that  some  portion  of  each  day 
found  her  actively  employed  in  household  duties,  and  that  she  waa 
often  abroad  on  errands  of  benevolence,  or  engaged  in  the  same  at 
home. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  57 

pared  for  them,  but  unfaithful  friends  are  what  I  know 
very  little  about  from  experience.  Thus  far  I  have  never 
been  deceived  in  a  friend,  and  though  1  cannot  suppose 
that  I  shall  always  be  so  favored,  yet  I  should  be  very  sorry 
to  know  that  Marion  was  the  first  to  break  the  spell,  the 
magic  spell  of  friendship.  I  will  therefore  have  all  leni- 
ency now;  and  not  think  that  Marion  has  given  up  her 
northern  friends.  I  will  wait  yet  longer,  for  I  cannot  bear 
to  come  to  such  a  conclusion." 


To  the  same. 

Hartford,  January  29,  1840. 

"Your  long  looked  for  letter,  my  deaf  Marion,  came, 
and  was  received  with  much  satisfaction.  It  set  every 
thing  right,  so  far  as  doubt  of  your  friendship  was  concern- 
ed ;  and  while  we  cannot  help  feeling  a  little  sad,  that  our 
dear  M.  D.  is  to  be  forever  lost,  we  hope  to  find  in  Mrs. 
S.  E.,  a  friend  who  will  possess  the  same  sweet,  affection- 
ate qualities. 

So  then,  you  are  to  be  a  good  minister's  wife,  and  lady 
of  the  parish  ;  and  while  you  are  attending  to  the  various 
preparations  for  the  approaching  eventful  day,  and  arran- 
ging all  the  wedding  paraphernalia,  we  are  quietly  pursu- 
ing our  course,  very  much  in  the  same  way  as  when  you 
was  one  of  our  number.  Perhaps  if  you  were  to  see  us, 
you  might  think  we  were  somewdiat  changed.  You  left 
us  when  our  characters,  though  formed  in  the  main,  were 
yet  in  a  state  to  receive  any  new  impression,  and  if  you 
were  now  to  return,  you  might  find  opinions,  and  feelings, 
and  principles  quite  new-modeled.  I  am  inclined  to  think 
that  the  same  is  true  of  you.  Your  letters  show  that  you 
have  somewhat  altered  in  your  views  of  things,  though  I 


58  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

hope  your  character  in  general,  bears  a  near  resennblance 
to  the  M.,  who  was  once  the  joy  of  our  social  circle. 

My  beloved  Sunday  school  teacher,   Mrs.   Hovey,  has 

left  us  for  her  home  in  heaven.     It  seems  a  sad  dream I 

do  not  yet  realise  it.  But  it  is  so.  We  shall  go  to  her, 
but  she  will  never  return  to  us.  For  some  weeks  past  the 
world  has  looked  dark  to  me,  but  heaven  has  been  bright, 
as  it  has  opened  its  portals  to  receive  our  beloved  friends 
to  its  mansions  of  rest. 

I  am  thinking  of  going  to  New  Haven  for  a  few  days  ; 
but  it  will  be  a  sad  visit — so  many  absent  from  our  circle — 
some  in  the  busy  tumult  of  life,  and  some  in  *  the  spirit 
land.'  But  '  passing  away,'  is  written  on  every  thing 
earthly.  How  sweet  it  is  to  look  beyond  this  misty, 
gloomy  world,  where  all  things  are  shrouded  in  dim  twi- 
light, to  the  bright,  pure  Heaven,  where  *  the  sunshine  of 
glory  eternally  reigns.' 

Am  I  wrong  in  writing  to  you  thus,  when  you  are  in  the 
midst  of  so  much  happiness  ?  1  know,  dear  M.,  that  to 
you  the  world  must  wear  a  beautiful  countenance,  and  life 
appears  to  pass  amid  green  vales  and  clear  streams,  and  be- 
neath blue  and  smiling  skies.  1  pray  that  it  may  always 
be  thus  fair.  I  know  it  will  be  so,  if  your  way  is  illumined 
by  the  sun  of  righteousness,  and  if,  amid  the  storms  which 
may  ere  long  beat  upon  it,  your  spirit  shall  catch,  and 
reflect,  the  rays  of  glorious  brightness,  which  even  through 
the  gloom,  come  to  us  from  the  world  of  light  and  peace. 

And  now  our  paths  in  life  are  really  to  be  different. 
Yours  will  be  one,  where  many  responsibilities  will  meet 
you;  but  of  whatever  nature  these  may  be,  I  shall  ever 
pray  that  you  may  have  strength  to  meet  them.  May  you 
have  the  light  and  peace  of  a  Christian  hope  to  shine,  not 
only  on  your  bridal  day,  and  on  each  festal  scene,  but  also 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAX  LENNEP.  59 

to  orild,  with  a  quiet  lustre,  the  sober  duties  of  life  which 
will  follow  ;  and  happy  in  your  husband's  love,  may  you 
pass  through  life  usefully,  until  at  length  you  shall  arrive 
at  that  world,  where  only  is  known  the  full  bliss  of  friend- 
ship. 

We  should  love  to  be  present  with  you  on  the  19th.  If 
we  all  come  as  a  band  of  spirits  around  your  bridal  train, 
will  you  not  bid  us  welcome? 

Did  you  receive  a  letter  from  me  which  was  written  in 
July  ?  I  was  very  happy  at  that  time,  and  dreamed  away 
many  long  summer  days  in  bright  anticipations  and  sweet 
remembrances.  Now  the  dreamer  is  becoming  a  little 
more  sober.  How  could  she  help  it  ?  when  so  many  she 
loved  have  departed,  either  to  distant  lands  of  this  same 
rolling  orb,  or  to  unknown  regions  in  this  vast  universe, 
which  can  be  reached  only  ihrough  death's  gateway.  What 
scenes  are  every  hour  transpiring  in  distant  worlds,  while 
we  go  wandering  on  in  this  little  globe,  so  much  occupied 
with  what  appear  to  us  as  '  vast  designs,' that  we  scarcely 
look  be^^ond  to  the  universe  around,  from  which  we  are 
separated  by  only  a  breath." 

To  . 

February  16,   1840. 
"  I  have  wanted,   many   times  during   this   week,   my 

dear  ,  to   renew  our  conversation  on   the    topics 

which  occupied  us  on  Monday.  It  is  a  too  deeply  inter- 
esting subject,  which  concerns  our  eternal  welfare,  to  give 
it  only  a  passing  attention.  A  winter's  walk  in  a  noisy  city, 
is  no  place  nor  time  to  converse  on  such  themes.  I  long 
for  the  time  to  come,  when  we  can  go  and  converse  amid 
the  woods  and  fields,  and  talk  of  that  world  which  will  be 
our  home,  when  this  has  passed  away.  My  dear  friend,  I 
do  want  you  to  think  of  your  preparation  for  that  world. 


60  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

You  say  you  '  do  not  feel.'  That  is  one  reason  why  you 
should  think.  How  is  it  we  become  interested  in  any  sub- 
ject ?     Is  it  not  by  giving  our  attention  to  it  ?     Dear , 

you  are  now  confined  by  a  sickness,  which  shuts  you  out 
from  general  society.  Is  it  not  therefore  a  favorable  time 
to  think  of  God,  and  of  your  duty  to  him  ;  of  the  Saviour, 
and  of  all  that  he  has  suffered  to  redeem  you  from  death; 
of  all  his  Spirit  is  now  doing,  to  win  you  to  the  love  and 
service  of  God,  and  to  raise  you  to  heaven  ?  Be  persuaded 
to  give  it  your  whole  attention.  A  passing  thought  will 
not  do.  Is  a  day  too  long  ?  Would  you  think  so  if  you 
were  saved  by  it,  and  in  some  distant  age,  from  the 
heighths  of  purity  and  wisdom  which  you  had  attained, 
should  look  back  on  that  one  day  spent  in  seriously  pon- 
dering the  question  of  your  soul's  salvation  ?" 

Mary  had  a  contemplative  mind,  slightly  tinged  with 
sadness,  and  yet  she  was  never  melancholy.  She  has 
noticed  this  trait,  or  habit  of  mind,  in  her  private  journal  ; 
for,  as  she  said,  it  seemed  to  constitute  a  part  of  her  very 
being,  and  she  watched  its  influence  on  her  Christian  char- 
acter, with  great  carefulness.  She  says  of  herself,  "  I  can- 
not hear  a  strain  of  music,  or  gaze  on  the  quiet  sky,  with- 
out having  an  under  current  of  sadness  mingling  with  my 
deep  enjoyment.  Prom  a  child  I  have  felt  it.  When 
quite  young,  I  remember  wondering  why  Ifelt  half  sad,  half 
happy,  on  one  sunny  summer  afternoon,  when,  upon  along 
green  hill  side  where  I  was  playing,  the  sun-light  lay  so 
still  and  beautiful.  It  was  the  commencement  of  a  feel- 
ing which  has  since  grown,  so  as  to  tinge  my  whole  char- 
acter. Every  thing  I  most  enjoy  is  most  sad."  She 
^*  mused  on  nature,"  with  a  Christian's,  as  well  as  "  with 
a  poet's  eye."  Some  sketches  from  her  pen,  illustrative 
of  this  trait,  will  be  placed  here  on  account  of  the  date 
they  bear. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  61 

Musings.     Last  day  of  Spring,  1840. 

"  Again  are  these  exquisite,  though  soul-sickening  days 
with  us  in  all  their  oppressive  loveliness.  The  soft  winds 
stir  among  the  green  boughs,  scattering  the  last  blossoms 
of  spring  upon  the  verdant  turf.  Above  us,  the  skies  smile 
in  their  ever  varying  beauty.  The  trees,  robed  in  fresh 
foliage,  hanging  not  heavily,  as  in  sultry  summer  days, 
wave  gracefully  in  the  fragrant  breeze,  while  the  sunlight 
dancing  in  the  shadows  beneath  them,  sheds  a  softened 
radiance  over  leaf  and  flower  ;  or  rests  in  golden  beauty  on 
gentle  slopes  and  meadows  of  living  green.  Beautiful 
warblers  plume  their  bright  wings,  and  soar  far  away  into 
the  vault  of  heaven,  where  soft  clouds  rest  like  a  snowy 
veil  above  earth's  loveliness.  And  I  have  come  to  my  old 
familiar  seat.  How  soft  the  light  steals  in  through  the 
half  closed  shutters!  With  what  a  gentle  sound  do  the 
ever  varying  tones  of  nature  fall  upon  my  ear  !  And  yet 
my  soul  is  not  still.  Oh,  ye  days  of  beauty,  tell  us  why  in 
all  your  loveliness,  ye  do  wake  mournful  chords  within  us  .'* 
Tell  us  why  each  whisper  of  the  breeze  calls  forth  a  gush 
of  sadness  from  our  burdened  hearts,  and  as  we  bend  in 
silent  admiration,  a  something  all  too  deep  for  utterance, 
presses  on  the  soul  with  its  heavy  weight  ? 

I  was  much  interested  this  morning  with  a  verse  in 
*'  Mrs.  Hemans'  Voice  of  Music,"  embodying  the  thought 
that  the  sadness  which  even  the  most  joyous  melody  awa- 
kens, is  for  the  want  of  a  perfectness,  which  can  never  be 
found  on  earth,  and  for  which  the  soul  seeks  in  vain.  Or, 
as  she  beautifully  expresses  it, 

"  A  something  which  finds  not  its  answer  here, 
A  chain  to  be  clasped  in  a  holier  sphere." 

It  is  this  something,  which  stirs  our  spirits,  as  we  wander 
amidst  nature's  lovely  haunts.     In  the  dark  grove,  where 

6 


62  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

cool  waters  flow,  on  gentle  knolls  where  we  rest  at  even, 
and  watch,  as  the  beams  of  day  are  fading,  till  the  gold 
melts  away  to  the  rose,  and  with  a  blushing  beauty  die 
upon  the  sky, — in  such  shaded  spots,  and  silent  hours,  the 
spirit,  even  in  its  deep  gladness,  sighs  that  therejs  still  a 
void  within  which  nothing  here  can  fill.  But  in  that  purer, 
brighter  world  which  revelation  opens  to  our  view,  the  full 
tide  of  joy  may  ever  swell  and  know  no  check.  There, 
no  sad  remembrance  shall  mar  our  peace,  no  sorrow  cast 
its  leaden  weight  on  our  spirits,  as  we  drink  in  the  glorious 
beauty  of  this  vast  universe." 

To  C.  C.  with  Longfellow's  Psalm  of  Life,  and  other  pieces. 

*'  Sept.  1840.  It  may  be,  mj^  dear  C,  that  these  lines 
which  to  me  have  such  fascination,  are  not  of  the  kind 
which  you  like  ;  and  yet  1  thought  that  the  spiritual  beauty 
which  characterises  the  whole,  could  not  but  fill  and  en- 
rapture the  soul,  with  you  as  with  me.  There  is  about  the 
Psalm  of  Life,  so  much  of  inspiration,  that  one  feels  after 
reading  it,  ready  '  to  suffer  and  be  strong,'  in  any  path 
through  this  life.  What  a  mysterious  thing  it  is  to  exist, 
to  have  a  being  in  the  universe.  Sometimes  the  thought 
comes  with  overwhelming  power,  that  I  am  existing,  and 
shall  exist  fu?' ever ;  and  that  my  smallest  actions,  slightest 
thoughts,  have  some  connection  with  the  world,  the  uni- 
verse around.  Dear  C,  may  each  thought,  each  act  of 
ours,  bring  us  nearer  to  that  perfection  for  which  we  are 
aiming, — or  as  Longfellow  says,  may  we 

« Learn  to  act,  that  each  to-morrow, 
Find  us  farther  than  to-day.'  " 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENXEP.  63 

To  C.  C. 

Hartford,  Dec.  15,  1810. 
'*  Many  thoughts  have  been  suggested  to  my  mind  by 
your  note,  dear  C,  which  I  have  longed  to  sit  down  and 
give  to  you.  INot  that  they  are  important  as  mine,  but 
because  I  know  you  will  S3'mpathise  with  me  in  all  that 
concerns  my  preparation  for  the  unknown  and  untried 
future.  Dear  C,  I  feel  that  for  one,  I  am  too  apt  to  forget 
it.  How  much  must  be  done,  before  these  natures  of  ours 
can  become  fit  for  the  society  of  the  pure  and  holy  of 
heaven.  It  is  thoughts  like  these,  that  make  me  feel  I 
have  been  dreaming.  How  do  all  the  beautiful  creations 
of  a  poet's  fancy,  all  the  speculations  of  a  philosopher, 
appear,  when  compared  with  the  work  which  God  has 
given  us  to  do.  Help  me,  my  dear  friend,  to  keep  my  eye 
steadily  fixed  upon  this  work.  '  So  teach  us  to  number 
our  days,  that  we  may  apply  our  hearts  unto  wisdom,' 
is  a  petition  v/e  need  daily  to  offer.  Let  us  pray  for  each 
other,  that  our  characters  may  be  formed  after  the  true 
Christian  model,  and  so  we  be  prepared  for  our  eternal 
home. 

What  lovely  evenings  we  have  had  lately.  There  is 
something  in  a  winter's  sunset,  peculiarly  tranquilizing.  A 
holy  calm  seems  to  veil  the  earth,  when  the  evening  star 
looks  down  Vso  still  and  saint-like.'  If  1  could  have  only 
one  hour  in  a  day  to  myself,  it  should  be  just  as  the  sun- 
light fades,  and  while  the  evening  star  lingers  above  the 
horizon.  What  lessons  of  peace  and  truth  does  it  read  us; 
how  it  seems  to  point  away  from  this  narrow  earth,  to 
regions  of  perfect  holiness  and  love.  Do  not  those  gentle 
beams  give  promise  of  a  purer  life  beyond  the  grave  ?  It 
is  not  my  style  to  weep  often,  but  the  solemn  teachings  of 


64  ^niS.  MARY  E.  VAN  U 


ENNI 


the  evening  star,  have  power  '  in  sudden  gushes  the  tears 
to  bring,'  yet  not  such  tears  as  music  calls  forth,  '  which 
refresh  not  and  still  must  fall.'  But  we  must  talk  together 
again  of  music." 

To  M.,  on  hearing  that  she  had  returned  to  the  home  of  her  youth, 
in  widowhood,  only  six  months  after  she  had  left  it. 

Hartford,  Dec.  19,  1840. 

"  We  have  often,  my  dear  Marion,  in  days  gone  by, 
mingled  our  hearts  together,  both  in  joy  and  sorrow,  and 
you  know  not  now  hov/  earnestly  I  long  to  annihilate  the 
distance  between  us,  that  I  may  expre.ss  to  you,  what  it  is 
not  possible  to  put  on  paper,  the  deep  sympathy  we  all  feel 
in  the  affliction  which  our  Heavenly  Father  has  seen  fit  to 
send  you.  How  little  we  thought  of  the  future  !  This  life 
of  ours  would  indeed  be  a  mystery,  were  it  not  for  the  cheer- 
ing light  which  revelation  throws  upon  it ;  and  our  spirits 
would  sink  beneath  the  load  of  afflictions  which  weigh 
them  down,  were  it  not  for  the  support  which  the  gospel 
of  Christ  affords.  There  we  can  find  rest  for  the  aching 
heart. 

Marion,  the  sad  lessons  of  life  have  been  early  taught 
us,  and  we  have  found  that  '  the  change  which  must  come 
over  the  spirit  of  our  dreams,'  exists  not  merely  in  a  poet's 
fancy*  Yet,  is  it  not  well  ?  Do  we  not  need  the  lesson  ? 
If  we  might  always  have  our  friends  with  us  here,  and  if 
our  intercourse  were  not  embittered  by  some  trial  ;  should 
we  not  make  of  them  idols,  and  twine  about  them  our  heart's 
best  affections  ? 

I  feel,  my  dear  sister,  that  it  is  but  poor  sympathy  I  can 
give,  and  it  is  with  fear  I  am  writing,  lest  I  touch  the 
broken  harp  strings  with  too  rude  a  hand.  There  is  One, 
and  1  love  to  think  that,  to  that  One,  my  dear  friend,  in  her 
days  of  happiness,  was  no  stranger,  who,  while  he  wounds, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  65 


can  heal.  Is  it  not  strange  that  we  should  need  affliction 
to  draw  our  hearts  to  this,  our  best  friend  ? 

When  I  wrote  to  you,  dear  M.,  of  the  afflictions  with 
which  many  families  here  have  been  visited,  it  seemed 
almost  wrong  for  me  to  intrude  such  sad  tales  upon  your 
bridal  days.  How  little  I  thought  that  a  few  short  months 
would  have  rendered  you  familiar  with  other  than  joyous 
scenes.  Will  you  not  write  to  me,  and  permit  me  to  sym- 
pathise with  you.  '  We  have  been  friends  together,'  and 
shall  we  not  in  sorrow  as  well  as  in  joy,  mingle  our  hearts  ? 
Speak  to  me  of  your  comforts  in  this  your  affliction,  that 
when  I  taste  the  cup  of  sorrow,  which  sooner  or  later  must 
be  tasted  by  all  of  us,  I  too  may  know  how  to  be  sup- 
ported. 

You  have  still  a  blessing  in  your  dear  precious  parents. 
Bui  I  very  well  know  that  it  is  not  in  the  power  of  any 
earthly  friend  to  take  the  place  of  a  lost  one.  And  why 
should  we  wish  this  ?  Our  lost  friends,  who  sleep  in 
Jesus,  will  one  day  be  all  restored.  They  may,  even  now, 
be  around  our  path,  as  guardian  angels,  blessing  us  by  their 
silent  presence,  and  shedding,  though  unseen,  a  sweet  and 
heavenly  influence  around  us.  And  will  they  not  welcome 
us  to  heaven  ? 

How  little  do  the  sufferings  of  this  life  appear,  in  com- 
parison with  the  eternal  weight  of  glory  which  will  follow 
this  short  season  of  trial.  That  '  eternal  weight  of  glory  !' 
Our  feeble,  imperfect  minds,  cannot  comprehend  it.  But 
God,  our  Father,'  w^ill  prepare  us  for  it.  Shall  we  not, 
therefore,  submit  cheerfully  to  the  discipline  of  His  hand, 
and  feel, 

*  That  by  the  light  and  shade,  through  which  our  pathway  lies, 
By  the  beauty  and  the  grief  alike,  we're  training  for  the  skies.' 

Your  name  is  often  mentioned  here  with  affectionate 
6* 


66  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

interest.  We  remember  the  young,  lively  M.,  who  left  us 
so  full  of  health  and  happiness.  And  you  remember  us  in 
our  school  girl  days,  full  of  hopes  and  pleasures.  Two 
years  have  not  passed  so  lightly  over  us,  but  that  the  sober 
lines  of  life  have  checked  ours  in  some  degree.  In  the 
varied  scenes  of  coming  years,  may  we  find  our  characters 
becoming  moulded  into  the  image  of  our  blessed  Saviour, 
and  whether  we  pass  through  happiness  or  adversit}^,  may 
we  be  advancing  towards  heaven. 

Dear  Marion,  you  have  one  more  tie  to  endear  that  heav- 
enly home  to  you ;  and  the  ties  there  will  continue  to 
strengthen,  as  one  by  one,  those  of  earth  become  severed. 
Sabbath  evening.  I  have  just  returned,  my  dear  M., 
from  a  service  in  our  lecture  room.  I  wish  you  could  be 
with  us  again  in  these  meetings.  They  remind  me  of  the 
last  winter  you  spent  here,  when  so  many  of  our  friends 
became  Christians.  M.  S.  wears  like  gold,  and  M.  B., 
who  became  interested  in  the  subject  of  religion  last  sum- 
mer, has  joined  our  little  Thursday  prayer  meeting,  and 
will  unite  with  the  church,  at  the  next  communion.  It  is 
delightful  to  see  one  and  another  of  my  friends  choosing  the 
path  to  heaven.     Would  that  we  might  all,  like  a  band  of 

sisters,  pursue  it  together  !     Our  dear ,  lovely  and 

beloved,  and  satisfied  with  the  blessings  which  are  show- 
ered around  her  way,  has  still  to  choose  that  happiness, 
which  alone  is  enduring.  I  know  she  is  remembered  in 
your  prayers.  Let  us,  dear  M.,  pray  continually  for  this 
dear  friend,  lest  she  perish,  and  the  guilt  be  ours." 

To  C.  C. 

Hartford,  Dec.  31,  1840. 
Ten  o'clock.     Two  hours  more,  the  old  year's  death  knell. 
"  It  were  much  more  fitting  for  you,  my  dear  C,  to 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  67 

write  me  a  new  year's  letter,  *  naitheless,'  I  will  not  let  the 
evening  pass,  without  thanking  you  for  your  kind,  refresh- 
ing note,  which  tiame  to  me  on  a  weary  morning,  like  a 
spring  to  one  in  a  desert  land. 

I  am  in  but  a  poor  mood  for  writing,  for  my  heart  seems 
dying  with  the  poor  old  year.  The  day  has  been  cloudy 
and  dark  (as  you  know)  but  the  stars  are  lighting  now  the 
old  year  from  this  world  of  faithlessness  and  sin,  and  a 
clearer  sky  than  we  have  had  for  many  a  day,  gives  prom- 
ise of  a  brighter  to-morrow.  But  I  have  thought  my  spirit 
out,  I  do  believe,  for  I  cannot  care  for  either  old  year  or 
new.  While  I  am  writing,  some  lingering  remains  of 
memory  remind  me  of  a  thrilling  picture  in  '  Illustrations  of 
the  Song  of  the  Bell,'  by  the  same  hand  that  etched  that 
fearful  one,  we  saw  at  Mr.  D's.  Perhaps  I  spoke  to  you 
of  it;  it  was  of  the  hours  coming  in,  in  one  long  proces- 
sion from  eternity,  and  receiving  their  portion  either  of 
good  or  ill  to  dispense,  as  they  passed  through  time.  What 
will  the  hours  of  this  coming  year  bring  us  ! 

Dear  C,  the  foundations  of  my  soul,  seem  all  breaking 
away.  I  never  felt  so  entirely  adrift  in  the  universe,  with- 
out compass  or  anchor,  as  I  do  at  present.  All  that  I 
thought  firmly  fixed  in  my  heart  is  gone,  and  I  shrink  from 
the  year,  as  bringing  only  new  helplessness  at  a  time  when 
I  need  all  my  energies.  Forgive  me,  my  dear  friend,  for 
troubling  you  with  these  things.  A  letter  on  the  eve  of 
another  great  period  which  marks  off  the  time  of  frail,  per- 
ishing mortals,  should  be  full  of  hope — .of  encouragement; 
and  forgetting  the  past,  should  look  towards  the  glorious 
future— the  coming  existence,  when  the  strife  with  evil 
shall  have  ended.  But  thus  I  am  little  able  to  write  now. 
The  few  longings  I  have  ever  had  for  the  strife,  seem  all 
quenched.  If  I  thought  this  state  of  mind  was  to  last,  I 
should  be  miserable.     Perhaps  I  have  fallen  into   some 


68  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

*  slough  of  despond,'  but  if  so,  it  must  be  a  very  different 
one  from  Christian's,  for  there  appears  no  helpmg  hand. 
I  am  not  jesting,  my  dear  C,  neither  am  1  indulging  my- 
self in  a  melancholy  dream;  but  a  conviction  of  what  1 
am,  and  my  utter  inability  to  be  any  better,  has  so  weighed 
upon  me  lately,  as  to  drive  almost  every  thing  else  from 
my  mind.  Do  you  know  what  1  can  do  ?  If  you  have 
any  talisman  to  still  the  unquiet  beatings  of  my  heart,  send 
it  to  me  I  pray  you. 

Why  am  I  so  selfish  as  to  write  thus  to  you  ?  I  am  sure 
I  did  not  sit  down  to  the  unmerciful  task  of  making  you 
acquainted  with  my  utter  destitution,  but  it  was  with  the 
laudable  intention  of  wishing  you  a  '  happy  new  year,' — 
happy  in  the  consciousness  of  a  daily  increase  in  all  that  is 
worthy  of  an  immortal  and  redeemed  soul.  O,  my  friend, 
press  on  in  that  glorious  path  with  renewed  ardor.  Our 
Saviour  has  marked  the  way,  and  will  ever  be  near,  to 
guide,  and  strengthen,  and  to  bring  you  safe  to  the  hills 
of  light.  I  dare  not  think  of  those  everlasting  hills.  It 
blinds  my  eyes  with  tears ;  for  the  long,  weary  path,  full 
of  difficulties,  snares,  temptations,  corruptions,  comes  into 
my  view,  and  fills  me  with  gloomy  forebodings.  It  does 
not  seem  as  though  1  can  ever  get  over  them.  Evil  habits 
so  fixed  in  the  deepest  recesses  of  the  heart — love  of  the 
world,  with  its  poor  perishing  trifles,  dragging  the  spirit 
down  to  earth.  Will  they  drag  it  down  forever?  Can  no 
one  break  the  strong  fetters  ?  But  this  does  not  sound  very 
much  like  the  words  of  a  believer  in  all  the  promises  so 
glorious  and  precious,  written  on  every  page  of  God's  holy 
word.  The  very  fact  that  I  am  a  believer  in  them,  makes 
me  still  sadder,,  for  if  I  believed  rightly,  1  should  have  no 
more  discouragements. 

Well,  perhaps  1  shall  feel  differently  when  to-morrow's 
light  brings  a  young  glad  year,  and  the  children  in  their 


IVIRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  69 

careless  glee,  little  recking  of  the  future,  shall  come  with 
their  joyous  greetings,  and  the  world  shall  go  on  just  as 
before,  whirling  and  bustling,  and  our  hearts,  sorrowing, 
toiling,  rejoicing  till  the  last  year  comes,  and  the  strife  is 
ended,  the  drama  closed.  '  There  remaineth  therefore  a 
rest  to  the  people  of  God.'  Oh,  for  an  entrance  into  that 
rest.  I  do  not  feel  like  giving  up  yet.  There  is  a  Saviour 
to  guide  us  there.  And  when  the  old  year  is  dead,  and 
the  bell  has  tolled  its  parting  ;  when  the  new  year  comes 
with  its  life  and  hope,  let  us,  my  dear  C,  rise,  not  in  r 
gloom,  not  in  despondency,  but  in  the  calm  and  fixed  re-  ^ 
solve,  to  go  on  in  the  strife,  even  to  the  end  ;  to  '  learn  to 
labor  and  to  wait,'- — '  to  suffer  and  be  strong,' — '  to  endure 
unto  the  end,' — looking  to  our  glorious  and  risen  Saviour, 
and  to  the  bright  company  already  redeemed,  and  who 
circle  the  throne  in  their  spotless  robes.  - 

Dear  C,  I  long  to  sit  by  you,  to  take  your  hand  in  mine, 
and  talk  of  our  duties,  our  labors  and  trials.  There  is  a 
rest  from  sin  at  the  end  of  all  these.  •  •  Mother  comes 
to  me  very  beseechingly,  to  close  my  letter,  it  is  so  late. 
But  she  tells  me  just  to  put  in  her  love — so  here  it  is,  with 
mine  also,  and  many  a  wish  for  your  happiness  the  coming 
year." 

To  a  friend  in  New  Haven. 

Hartford,  Jan.  18,  1841. 
*'  My  dear  J.  How  I  wish  you  had  been  with  me  this 
evening,  in  our  solemn  services,  hearing  Mr.  K.  discourse 
from  '  When  he  maketh  inquisition  for  blood,  he  remem- 
bereth  them.'  As  I  cast  my  eye  over  the  audience,  and 
saw  the  young,  the  lovely,  the  gay,  the  intelligent,  and 
thought  how  in  probability  the  souls  of  some,  even  of  those 
whose  hearts  were  tender,  would  sink  into  eternal  misery, 
it  seemed  to  me  we  were  all  asleep,  to  think  so  calmly 


70  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

about  it.  To  be  eternally  lost !  Oh,  what  is  it !  Lost 
too  when  we  mio;ht  be  saved  !  Do  not  such  thoughts 
come  at  times  with  an  almost  overwhelming  weight  ?  And 
can  we  believe  them,  and  j^et  do  so  little — scarcely  warn 
our  friends  of  danger  ? 

I  had  a  horrid  dream  last  night.     It  has  haunted  me  all 
da}''.     Shall  I  tell  it  ?     I  dreamed  (it  almost  paralizes  my 

heart  to  write  it,)  that 's  day  of  probation  was  over, 

and  she  eternally  lost  ;  fixed  forever  in  the  land«of  despair, 
without  one  gleam  of  hope  ;  severed  from  all  that  she  loved, 
and  condemned  to  dwell  with  the  spirits  of  darkness  and 
woe  ; — and  all  this  when  I  might  have  prevented  it. 
Through  all  the  long  night  I  wandered  from  place  to  place 
with  my  wretched  heart,  and  the  image  of  my  friend  eter- 
nally lost  through  my  influence — and  in  bitterness  of  soul, 
1  felt  as  if  I  could  die  too.  Pray,  my  dear  friend,  for  the 
salvation  of  this  dear  girl.  Must  it  be  that  she  die  in  the 
midst  of  so  much  light  from  God's  word,  and  with  the 
hopes  of  the  gospel  spread  out  so  plainly  to  her  view  ? 
What  are  we  about  to  let  our  friends  go  on,  day  after  day, 
with  no  warning  voice  to  wake  them  from  the  sleep  of  sin  } 
Has  not  God  promised  to  answer  prayer  ?  Oh,  yes,  our 
poor  feeble  prayers  !  and  I  have  evidence,  blessed  be  his 
holy  name,  that  the  prayers  of  some  one  are  answered  in 
her  behalf;  it  may  be  mine,  it  may  be  yours  ;  but  no  mat- 
ter, dt-ar is  not  entirely  careless;  she  does  think  ; 

she  can  feel,  and  by  the  blessing  of  God  she  may  be  saved. 
My  dear  J.,  could  we  together  supplicate  God's  spirit  to 
strive  with  her  heart,  and  never  to  leave  her  until  her 
heart  is  given  to  Christ,  how  I  should  rejoice.  But  this 
cannot  be.  Each  in  our  own  chamber,  and  alone  with  our 
God,  must  pray  for  the  salvation  of  this  dear  friend.  Will 
you,  dear  J.,  every  night  at  the  twilight  hour,  join  me  in 
prayer  for  this  blessing  ?" 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  71 

To  M.  D. 

Hartford,  Feb.  15,   1S41. 

"  My  dear  M.  Your  precious  letter  has  filled  my  heart 
wilh  gratitude  to  our  Heavenly  Father,  for  giving  you  in 
your  affliction,  such  a  sweet  spirit  of  resignation  to  his 
holy  will.  Yes,  my  dear  friend,  he  is  an  Almighty  com- 
forter, and  it  is  sweet  to  lie  in  his  hands,  and  to  feel  the 
everlasting  arms  beneath  the  sinking  soul.  Continue,  dear 
M.,  to  trust  and  love  him  as  you  now  do,  and  you  will 
reap  the  reward  of  patient  waiting  on  him.  Think  of  the 
promises  in  his  word.  How  full  of  love  !  A  balm  for  all 
our  woes.  O,  take  them  home  to  your  heart.  Our  Father's 
chastening  hand  is  upon  you,  dearest,  but  we  rejoice  that 
you  can  feel  it  is  in  love  ;  and  though  now  it  is  very  dark 
to  you,  one  day  you  will  be  able  to  rejoice  in  view  of  the 
wisdom  and  goodness  of  this  trying  dispensation.  On  those 
hills  of  light,  where  all  tears  are  wiped  away,  where  no 
sin  nor  sorrow  ever  come,  there  we  shall  look  back  on  our 
pilgrimage  through  this  world,  and  shall  see  how  necessary 
was  all  the  discipline  through  which  w^e  passed. 

Yet  we  may  weep ;  for  religion  does  not  seal  the  heart, 
and  forbid  us  to  mourn  over  our  buried  joys  ;  but  while  we 
mourn,  it  teaches  us  to  do  this,  '  not  as  those  who  have  no 
hope.'  '  The  sorrow  of  the  world  worketh  death  ;'  but 
the  religion  of  Christ  teaches  us  to  look  beyond  the  grave, 
to  that  glorious  world,  where  having  been  made  '  perfect 
through  suffering,'  we  shall  find  our  rest. 

M.,  how  dream-like  appears  the  time  when  you  was 
here  with  us.  Do  you  remember  the  various  talks  we  had 
of  the  future  ?  How  we  whispered  our  thoughts  to  each 
other  about  this  busy,  and  then  bright  world  ?  We  were 
novices  then  in  the  art  of  happiness,  and  worse  than  novi- 
ces in  our  anticipations  of  it — at  least  so  far  as  we  expected 
to  find  it  here.     Though  we  warned  each  other  about  trust- 


72  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ing  the  dazzle  of  this  earth,  though  we  told  how  others 
had  found  it  unsatisfying,  there  was,  after  all,  a  secret  feel- 
ing— '  well,  if  they  were  disappointed,  we  may  not  be,' — 
and  our  dreanns  appeared  so  rational,  we  thought  we  could 
not  be.  But,  my  friend,  you  are  reciHsing  now  the  truth 
that  this  is  a  state  of  trial,  not  our  home,  our  portion.  And 
is  it  not  best  to  be  taught  this  early  in  life,  that  our  affeC" 
lions  may  be  set  on  heaven  ?  In  that  world,  we  shall  look 
with  very  different  feelings  upon  our  earthly  joys  and  sor- 
rows, from  what  we  do  here.  How  much  we  need  trust 
in  God.  There  is  no  state  in  which  we  do  not  need  his 
guidance.  God,  our  Saviour,  is  our  life.  Oh  yes,  our  lifcn 
*  Our  life  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God.' 

March  1.  I  have  been  delaying  thus,  dear  M.,  hoping 
to  have  an  opportunity  to  converse  with  father  on  the  sub- 
ject to  which  you  alluded  in  your  letter.  1  think  he  will 
write  you  when  his  duties  become  less  pressing  ;  but  at 
present  he  is  fully  occupied.  There  is  a  delightful  work 
going  on  in  our  city,  of  which  I  have  been  longing  to  tell 
you;  for  many  you  knew  and  loved  are  hoping  in  Christ. 
It  is  nearly  two  months  since  the  commencement  of  the 
revival,  which  has  been  mostly  among  the  young  people. 
The  way  had  sometime  been  preparing  for  this,  when  Mr. 
K.  came  and  spent  one  month  here,  preaching  every  after- 
noon to  professors  of  religion,  and  in  the  evening  to  others, 
particularly  to  those  who  were  not  Christians. 

The  remembrance  of  those  seasons  is  like  a  green  spot 
in  this  desert  world.  We  came  forth  from  our  dark  places, 
and  stood  in  the  light  of  the  sun  of  righteousness  ;  we  cast 
off  our  garments  of  mourning,  and  put  on  the  garments  of 
praise,  and  already  the  glory  from  the  celestial  city  seemed 
beaming  down  upon  us.  It  seems  to  us  now,  as  though  we 
can  never  go  back  to  the  troubled  streams  of  this  world, 
having  tasted  of  the  streams  which  flow  from  the  throne  of 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  73 

God  and  the  Lamb.  But,  dear  M.,  I  know  not  how  to  tell 
you  half.  Many  are  changed — and  more  than  all,  and  I 
have  been  keeping   this  to    tell  you  last,  our  own   dear 

* my  heart  is  very  full — what  shall  I  say  !     She 

has  joined  our  little  prayer  meeting,  and  our  intercourse 
now  is  so  delightful,  it  seems  like  heaven  begun  on  earth. 
It  is  some  time  since  she  became  interested.  Before  the 
revival  she  had  begun  to  feel  that  this  world  could  not  sat- 
isfy the  wants  of  her  immortal  soul.  With  all  her  enjoy- 
ments, there  was  still  an  '  aching  void.'  She  has  had 
many  perplexities  and  discouragements,  since  she  began 
to  think  seriously  upon  the  subject,  but  our  Heavenly 
Father  has  been  leading  her  along  very  gently,  and  bring- 
ing her  into  the  right  way.  Let  us  rejoice  together  in  this. 
Cannot  you,  my  dear  sister,  even  in  your  affliction,  thank 
God  that  one  more  dear  one  is  added  to  that  band  who  are 
ever  to  live  and  praise  God  around  his  throne  :  Some  of 
our  beloved  ones  are  already  there  ;  and  we  are  waiting 
here,  in  this  our  pilgrimage,  for  our  Saviour  to  call  us.  He 
will  come  in  his  own  good  time.  '  And  them  also  that 
sleep  in  Jesus,  will  God  bring  with  him.'  This  verse,  M., 
looks  very  much  as  though  we  shall  not  only  know  our 
departed  friends,  but  that  it  will  also  be  an  addition  to  our 
happiness,  to  have  them  with  us.  Does  not  this  seem  to 
intimate  that  we  shall  still  love  and  be  interested  in  those 
whom  we  knew  and  loved  on  the  earth,  more  than  those, 
with  whom  we  are  to  begin  an  acquaintance  ?  Nor  will 
this  at  all  interfere  with  our  loving  everyone.  It  does  not 
to  my  mind,  seem  requisite  to  the  perfect  bliss  of  heaven, 
that  we  should  have  equal  love  to  all.  1  have  had  a  little 
conversation  with  father  on  the  subject,  and  he  said  that 
'  there  was  nothing  which  could  lead  us  to  think  that  friend- 

*  The  young  friend  about  whom  she  had  the  dream. 
7 


74  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ships  begun  on  earth,  and  founded  in  pure  motives,  might  not 
be  continued  and  increased  in  heaven.'  1  have  thought 
much  on  the  subject,  dear  M.,  and  have  heard  various 
opinions  about  it,  some  of  which  have  made  me  unhappy  ; 
and  I  have  come  to  the  conclusion  to  leave  the  matter  with 
God.  He  can  fill  our  largest  desires.  We  are  in  his  hands. 
Our  dear  departed  friends  are  with  him  at  rest.  Let  us 
see  to  it,  that  we  are  prepared  for  that  rest  which  remain- 
eth  for  the  people  of  God.  This  is  the  great  filings  after 
all,  that  we  have  a  part  in  the  great  salvation.  Then  our 
cup  of  happiness  will  be  full  in  the  other  world,  even  though 
we  may  not  here,  know  the  way  in  which  God  will  fill  it. 
I  long  to  see  you  once  again,  dear  sister  of  my  heart,  to 
mourn  with  you,  and  to  look  with  you  to  heaven  where 
Jesus  is,  and  where  we  may  be,  if  we  trust  in  him.  Oh, 
that  we  could  love  and  serve  him  more  perfectly.  How 
sweet  to  feel  that  in  heaven  there  will  be  no  more  sin. 
We  must  toil,  each  in  our  part  of  the  vineyard,  doing  what 
little  we  can,  till  we  go  to  our  rest  in  heaven.  There  we 
shall  spend  an  eternity  together.  There  I  shall  know  all 
that  you  have  known  and  loved.  Let  us  '  comfort  one 
another  with  these  words.'  " 


CHAPTER    V. 

HER    RELIGIOUS    WRITINGS. 

It  is  with  some  hesitancy  on  the  part  of  friends,  that  the 
following  extracts  are  permitted  to  occupy  a  place  in  this 
volume.  They  were  written  exclusively  for  the  benefit  of 
the  individual  who  penned  them,  and  are  a  record  of  her 
views  and  feelings  on  the  subject  of  religion,  with  notices 
of  such  facts  and  events  as  interested  her  at  the  time,  to- 
gether with  the  effect  which  these  had  on  her  religious 
character.  They  are  selected  from  a  journal  which  she 
commenced  in  January,  1841,  and  closed  in  June,  1843, 
just  before  leaving  home  for  her  residence  in  the  East. 

There  are  those  to  whom  it  appears  to  be  a  species  of 
sacrilege  to  expose  to  the  scrutiny  of  others  the  private 
religious  exercises  of  an  individual.  It  will  be  seen  that 
the  manuscript  from  which  these  extracts  are  made,  is  not 
exclusively  of  this  character.  If  it  were,  this  would  not 
constitute  the  only  ground  of  hesitancy.  A  difficulty  is 
felt  in  making  from  the  mass  such  selections  as  shall  ex- 
hibit her  character  in  its  true  light.  The  objections  against 
keeping  a  record  of  the  daily  religious  exercises  of  the 
heart,  or  rather  against  exposing  this  record  to  the  scrutiny 
of  others  after  the  death  of  the  individual  who  kept  it, 
might,  it  is  thought,  be  made  against  any  thing  which 


76  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

should  cause  the  light  of  the  Christian  to  shine  before  men 
in  this  dark  world.  To  make  such  a  record  useful  to  others, 
it  is  indispensable  that  it  accord  with  the  traits  of  Christian 
experience  delineated  in  the  New  Testament ;  and  also  that 
there  be  nothing  in  the  life  strikingly  at  variance  with  such 
a  record. 

Mary  is  known  to  have  carried  her  religion  into  every 
thing.  Her  Christian  experience  was  not  suffered  to  lie" 
dormant  within,  an  inoperative  principle,  confined  to  her- 
self and  useless  to  others  ;  but  it  was  as  a  perennial  spring, 
overflowing  in  its  fullness,  and  fertilizing  all  around. 
From  the  moment,  when  in  her  joy  at  having  "  found  God," 
she  exclaimed  "I  am  happy,"  it  was  her  constant,  uni- 
form, and  untiring  effort,  to  lead  others  to  a  participation 
in  the  same  happiness  with  herself. 

Her  religion  also  was  the  religion  of  the  Bible.  Its 
sterner  doctrines  as  well  as  its  milder  precepts,  were  allowed 
to  have  their  full  influence  over  her.  She  took  it  and  not 
the  maxims  of  the  world  for  her  guide.  It  was  a  '*  lamp 
to  her  feet  and  a  light  to  her  path,"  and  by  it  she  has  no 
doubt  been  led  to  find  her  home  in  heaven.  But  like  all 
other  Christians  she  was  but  imperfectly  sanctified,  and 
many  and  severe  were  her  inward  struggles,  in  her  at- 
tempts to  lead  a  consistent  Christian  life. 

She  had  a  buoyancy  of  spirit  and  depth  of  sympathy 
which  extended  to  every  living  thing,  and  those  traits, 
with  others  of  a  kindred  nature,  fitted  her  to  enjoy  life  in  a 
high  degree.  But  while  they  made  her  more  interesting 
as  a  friend  and  more  useful  as  a  Christian,  they  at  the 
same  time  constituted  the  principal  sources  of  her  trial ; 
and  it  was  through  these  mainly,  that  the  discipline  came, 
which  fitted  her  so  well  for  usefulness  in  life,  and  for  a 
participation  in  the  joys  of  the  redeemed. 

As  she  never  separated  religion  from  the  active  duties 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  77 

and  daily  enjoyments  of  life,  so  in  her  private  journal  she 
has  not  disconnected  these,  but  while  it  contains  a  faithful 
record  of  her  religious  views  and  feelings,  it  gives  them  in 
connection  with  the  objects  and  events  by  which  she  was 
influenced  in  her  intercourse  with  the  world  around  her. 

But  before  making  extracts  from  the  journal,  it  may  not 
be  inappropriate  to  take  a  brief  notice  of  her  earlier  reli- 
gious writings.  How  early  she  commenced  the  practice 
of  committing  things  to  writing  for  a  religious  use,  is  not 
certainly  known  ;  but  it  was  before  she  felt  competent  to 
originate  thoughts  for  this  purpose  herself,  and  she  there- 
fore made  use  of  the  suggestions  of  others.  The  selec- 
tions were  her  own,  and  they  show  a  discrimination  which 
is  rather  unusual  in  one  so  young  as  she  was  when  they 
were  made. 

At  the  commencement  of  a  manuscript  which  was  found 
after  her  death,  amongst  several  others  of  a  similar  charac- 
ter, is  this  sentence.  "  I  must  remember  every  day  Hive 
that  1  have  a  God  to  glorify — a  soul  to  save." 

In  the  same  trembling  and  unformed  hand,  were  copied 
with  slight  alterations,  several  resolutions  of  President 
Edwards.  On  reading  these  the  first  time  they  met  the 
eye  after  her  death,  they  seemed  to  be  an  epitome  of  her 
life,  and  on  this  account  they  are  copied  here. 

1.  Resolved  never  to  lose  one  moment  of  time,  but 
spend  it  in  the  most  profitable  way  I  can. 

2.  Resolved  never  to  do  any  thing  I  should  be  afraid  to 
do  were  it  the  last  hour  of  my  life. 

3.  Resolved  to  think  much  on  all  occasions  of  my  dying. 

4.  Resolved  to  find  out  fit  objects  of  my  charity. 
6.  Resolved  never  to  do  any  thing  out  of  revenge. 

6.  Resolved  that  I  will  so  live  as  I  shall  wish  I  had 
done  when  I  come  to  die. 


7* 


78  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

7.  Resolved  to  maintain  strict  temperance  in  eating  and 
drinking. 

8.  Resolved  never  to  do  any  thing  which  if  I  should  see 
in  another,  I  should  count  a  just  occasion  to  despise  him 
for,  or  to  think  any  vray  the  more  meanly  of  him. 

9.  Resolved  whenever  I  do  an  evil  action,  to  trace  it 
back  till  I  come  to  the  original  cause,  and  then  carefully 
endeavor  to  do  so  no  more. 

10.  Resolved  to  study  the  Scriptures  so  constantly  and 
frequently  that  I  may  plainly  perceive  myself  to  grow  in 
the  knowledge  of  the  same. 

11.  Resolved  never  to  speak  in  narrations  any  thing  but 
the  pure  and  simple  truth. 

12.  Resolved  to  strive  to  my  utmost  every  week  to  be 
brought  higher  in  religion  than  I  was  the  week  before. 

13.  Resolved  never  to  speak  evil  of  any  person  except 
some  particular  good  call  for  it. 

14.  Resolved  never  to  give  over,  or  in  the  least  to  slack- 
en my  fight  against  my  corruptions,  however  unsuccessful 
I  may  be. 

The  foregoing  selections  are  without  date,  as  indeed  is 
the  manuscript  from  which  they  were  taken,  but  the  hand 
and  other  circumstances  show  them  to  have  been  written 
somewhere  near  the  time  when  she  was  ten  years  old. 
The  manuscript  appears  to  have  been  filled  up  very  slowly 
and  a  considerable  improvement  is  seen  in  the  hand  wri- 
ting and  in  the  Christian  character  also  as  it  goes  on,  or 
rather  there  is  a  more  full  development  of  character  both 
intellectual  and  moral :  but  it  was  not  until  she  was  thir- 
teen years  old,  that  she  began  to  date  what  she  wrote. 
Her  first  date,  in  connection  with  the  fact  recorded  with 
it,  marks  a  somewhat  interesting  transaction.  '  On  the  last 
page  of  the  manuscript  alluded  to,  in  a  fair  open  hand,  and 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


standing  out  prominently  so  as  to  prevent  the  possibility  of 
its  escaping  the  eye  of  her  who  penned  it,  is  the  following 
pledge. 

"  Oct.  19,  1834.  1  promised  that  I  w^ould  read  with 
Miss  Chester,  my  Sunday  School  Teacher,  a  chapter  every 
day,  beginning  at  the  7th  chapter  of  Matthew. 

Mary  E.  Hawes." 

This  promise  she  doubtless  kept  for  several  years,  as  she 
often  alluded  to  passages  which  she  was  reading  in  con- 
nection with  her  teacher,  and  as  she  had  a  similar  exercise 
with  her  own  pupils  after  she  became  a  teacher  herself. 

As  will  be  seen,  she  was  in  the  habit  of  reviewing  the 
year  which  had  just  closed,  on  each  successive  birth  day. 
She  also  did  the  same  at  New  Years  ;  and  before  each 
communion  season  she  kept  a  day  of  fasting  and  self  ex- 
amination preparatory  to  coming  to  that  holy  ordinance. 

The  first  extract  will  be  made  from  a  review  on  the  day 
she  was  twenty  years  old. 

1841.  April  16th.  My  birth  day  !  This  beautiful, 
sunny  spring  day  makes  me  twenty  years  old.  Oh,  how 
many  are  the  thoughts  which  have  passed  through  my 
mind  to-day  !  The  past  has  been  here,  and  I  have  stretch- 
ed my  eye  to  the  dim  future,  as  I  seem  to  stand  on  a 
mountain  in  my  life,  and  look  back  on  sunny,  lovely  child- 
hood, and  on  my  youthful  days,  half  sun,  half  shade.  Oh, 
how  many  quiet  birth  days  have  1  spent  in  my  much 
loved  home. 

Blessings  have  been  strew^ed  thick  around  my  path  ; 
ever  streived  around !  Dear,  dear  home  !  Friends,  much 
loved  parents,  religious  influences  of  the  purest  and  holiest 
kind  !  ISew  England  is  my  birth  place.  Here,  in  the 
Pilgrim's  land,  I  have  ever  lived.  I  do  thank  Thee,  O, 
my  Father,  for  these  thrice  blessed  privileges. 

There  is  no  pageantry  nor  royal  state  around  my  path. 


80  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

There  is  nothing  which  the  world  calls  noble  or  great  in 
this  peaceful  home  ;  but  there  is  what  is  infinitely  dearer 
to  me,  the  influence  of  piety  to  draw  me  to  the  skies;  to 
point  me  away  from  this  poor  fading  world,  to  mansions 
in  Heaven  for  those  who  love  Christ  and  His  cause.  I 
know  I  am  thankful  for  this,  and  thankful  that  so  few  of 
earth's  temptations  are  around  my  way,  for  O,  1  have  a 
weak  heart,  and  should  have  been  utterly  ruined,  had  my 
lot  been  differently  cast. 

The  past  year  has  been  very  eventful ;  the  most  so  of 
my  life.  I  dare  not  look  forward  to  what  another  year 
may  bring.  I  will  trust  him  who  has  so  far  guided  my 
steps.  I  will  place  my  hand  and  heart  in  His  care.  Why 
should  I  fear  ?  Oh  yes,  the  past  year  has  been  very 
eventful  indeed.  1  h^ve  had  many  more  thoughts  than 
ever  before  on  every  subject,  but  particularly  on  religion. 
And  I  can  humbly  say,  1  do  think  that  this  birth  day  finds 
me  farther  on  my  course  than  the  last.  There  is  so  much 
sin  in  my  heart  that  1  wonder  at  myself  for  allowing  that  I 
have  any  hope,  but  when  I  look  back  at  the  past  year, 
and  watch  the  workings  of  my  own  mind,  there  does  seem 
to  me  a  great  change  in  my  feelings.  My  views  of  duty 
are  clearer,  and  my  love  of  duty  stronger.  Jesus  is  my 
hope  and  trust,  and  I  think  that  religion  is  my  daily  com- 
panion. 

I  have  hadmrtwy  thoughts  on  religious  subjects — all  the 
time  have  been  agitating  some  question  of  dut}',  or  watch- 
ing some  sin  which  has  crept  into  my  heart  and  wound  itself 
tightly  around  my  life  ;  and  1  have  had  days  of  mourning 
because  I  could  not  be  free  from  it.  I  think  I  have  had 
much  religious  enjoyment.  It  seems  as  though  light  has 
been  gradually  let  into  my  mind,  and  did  I  not  painfully  feel 
the  deceitfulness  of  the  heart,  should  feel  willing  to  say  that 
an  advance  does  seem  to  have  been  made  in  my  views  of 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  Ql 

every  thing  connected  with  God,  and  the  Saviour  and  His 
cause. 

About  commencement  time,  I  went  to  New  Haven, 
and  though  I  passed  through  many  dissipating  scenes, 
I  had  all  the  time  such  a  fear  of  losing  myself  in  them,  and 
of  giving  way  to  nay  worldly  feelings,  that  it  did  not  injure 
me  as  much  as  I  feared  it  would.  The  week  after  my  re- 
turn home  I  count  among  my  most  delightful  weeks.  I 
had  much  time  alone,  and  thought  I  profited  by  it.  From 
that  time  my  heart  was  turned  more  to  Christ. 

One  night  during  the  autumn  I  remember  returning 
from  a  party,  where  the  evening  had  been  closed  with 
singing  and  prayer,  and  as  I  laid  my  head  on  the  pillow,  I 
felt  happy.  It  was  the  only  party  I  ever  returned  from 
feeling  better  than  when  I  went,  and  there  was  nothing  of 
the  feverish  excitement  I  had  at  other  times.  It  does  re- 
quire a  great  share  of  grace  to  attend  parties  and  keep 
piety  warm  in  the  heart. 

The  latter  part  of  December  I  had  many  perplexities. 
I  then  passed  through  a  trying  season.  My  wicked  heart 
rose  up  within  me  and  there  seemed  no  comfort  any  where. 
I  felt  as  though  I  had  no  right  to  call  myself  a  Christian, 
and  I  went  to  work  as  if  I  were  not  one.  The  fast  on  the 
2d  of  New  Year  set  me  on  a  little  better  footing.  I  thought 
that  my  star  of  hope  was  beginning  to  rise,  and  though  the 
clouds  have  come  over  often  since,  it  does  seem  to  grow 
brighter.  My  tract  district  afforded  opportunities  for  do- 
ing good,  and  when  the  revival  commenced  I  did  welcome 
it  with  an  open  heart.  Since  then  I  have  passed  many 
pleasant  hours.  Mr.  K's  sermons  to  Christians  I  think  I 
derived  much  good  from.  My  dear  can  sympa- 
thize with  me  now  on  religious  subjects  ;  and  my  inter- 
course with  all  my  dear  friends  is  such  as  to  raise  my 
grovelling  heart  above  this  world's  delusive  excitements. 


g2  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

It  was  during  the  midst  of  the  revival  that  I  was  called 
upon  to  consider  a  deeply  interesting  subject,  which  ever 
since  has  absorbed  my  attention,  and  agitated  me  with  a 
thousand  hopes  and  fears.  I  can  trust  all  in  the  hands  of 
a  merciful  Saviour,  who  has  thus  far  guided  me,  though  in 
a  way  I  knew  not.  When  I  look  back  on  the  events  of 
my  past  life,  how  plainly  can  I  see  the  hand  of  God  in 
every  thing!  He,  who  has  guided  me,  will  still  guide, 
and  strengthen  me  to  give  up  all  for  Him.  1  know  that  as 
thy  day,  so  shall  thy  strength  be,  is  a  sure  promise,  and 
yesterday,  while  looking  round  on  my  home,  and  my  heart 
was  ready  to  burst  at  what  would  probably  come  in  the 
course  of  events,  and  while  thinking  of  my  precious  friends, 
and  many,  many  blessings,  I  could  lay  all  in  my  Saviour's 
hand,  and  let  Him  dispose  of  them  as  He  pleases.  I  do 
say,  '- not  my  will,  but  thine,  O  God,  be  done."  And 
while  I  yield  up  all  to  Him,  my  only  desire  is  to  become 
wholly  His,  and  be  free  from  sin. 

To  C.  C. 

Hartford,  April  16th,  1841. 

**  I  have  been  hoping  all  day,  dear  C  ,  to  find  time  to 
write,  and  think  I  have  fairly  secured  one  half  hour  at 
least,  for  a  little  talk  with  you. 

You  do  not  know  this  is  my  birth-day.  Twenty  years  of 
my  life  have  passed — happily,  very  happily — oh,  I  dare  not 
look  forward.  To-day,  my  thoughts  have  been  half  shaded 
by  the  uncertain  future,  and  while  I  have  counted  over  the 
many  happy  birth-days  which  have  come  and  gone,  in  this 
my  much  loved  home,  I  shrink  from  what  the  return  of 
this  day  may  bring  me.  Twenty  years  !  Oh,  C,  you  too 
have  passed  them.  Can  it  be  that  we  have  bidden  adieu 
to  sunny  childhood,  and  are  already  surrounded  with  the 
bewilderment,   and   bustle,  and  whirl  of  life  }     Yes,  we 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LEJNNEP.  83 

must  be  borne  on  by  its  billows,  till  death  lands  us  in  a 
world  of  real  existence.  I  was  much  interested  recently 
in  a  sermon  of  Dr.  Cox's,  in  which  he  said  that  here  we 
did  not  live,  we  only  half  existed  ;  the  other  world  was  to 
be  the  scene  of  our  true  and  perfect  existence.  The  truth 
of  this  comes  home  to  my  heart  every  day  I  live.  I 
never  gaze  on  this  earth,  lovely  and  winning  as  it  is,  I 
never  listen  to  the  melodies  of  music,  without  feeling  what 
is  nearly  akin  to  it,  the  want  of  perfection  here.  We  have 
each  of  us,  dear  C,  though  in  different  ways,  been  led  to 
look  to  another  life,  for  the  development  of  our  being,  and 
happy  will  it  be  for  us,  if  these  early  lessons  remain  as  a 
talisman  to  guard  us  against  the  many  syren  voices  of  this 
world.  O,  never,  amidst  the  excitement  of  life,  may  we 
lose  the  thought  of  our  hioher  existence. 

When  passing,  an  hour  since,  by  an  open  window 
through  which  the  south  wind  blew  very  fresh,  I  fancied 
it  bore  the  fragrance  of  spring  blossoms,  and  for  a  moment 
May,  with  all  its  lovely  verdure  and  opening  buds,  passed 
before  me  ;  and  the  vision  brought  many  thoughts  of  last 
year.  I  must  live  to-day  in  the  past,  for  I  seem  standing 
on  one  of  the  mountains  of  my  life,  and  sunny  days  of 
infancy  are  far  behind  me,  with  the  half  cloud,  half  sun- 
shine period  of  youth  still  nearer,  from  which  J  have  just 
emerged  ;  and  now,  sober  and  even  solemn  seems  the  hue 
of  my  coming  being.  There  are  some  things  in  my  life, 
which  make  me  look  upon  it  with  very  different  feelings 
from  what  I  regarded  it,  when  gazing  a  few  years  since,  in 
all  the  buoyancy  of  youthful  gladness,  on  coming  sunny 
days,  in  which  even  the  clouds  should  be  of  brilliant  hues. 
I  do  feel,  my  dear  friend,  that  this  life  is  a  deeply  solemn 
concern.  'T  is  not  a  merely  checkered  day,  now  sun,  now 
shade,  but  viewed  in  the  light  of  eternity,  it  is  a  period 
awfully  solemn,  upon  which  depend  consequences  of  the 


g4  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

deepest  moment.  O,  how  could  we  ever  dream^  my  friend  ? 
How  could  we  linger  mid  the  fairy  lands  of  earthly  fasci- 
nation, and  waste  so  much  of  our  precious  time  in  beauti- 
ful reveries,  and  entrancing  theories,  while  the  preparation 
for  a  world  of  realities  was  almost  neglected  ?  Let  us 
thank  God,  if  indeed  we  are  awakened,  and  begin  with 
hearts  strong  in  the  strength  of  our  Saviour,  to  press  on- 
ward in  our  way  to  the  portals  of  eternal  life. 

In  our  little  circle  are  some  mourners,  but  each  of  them 
can  say  that  the  afflictions  from  the  hand  of  their  Heavenly 
Father  have  been  blessed,  in  drawing  away  their  hearts 
from  this  world's  good,  and  leading  them  to  drink  at  that 
fountain  where  eternal  life  flows  full  and  free.  When  we 
see  them  coming  to  our  quiet  gatherings,  they  who,  not  a 
year  since,  moved  in  the  giddy  mazes  of  the  dance,  and 
knelt  at  the  altar  of  this  world's  allurement,  when  their 
voices  mingle  with  ours  in  the  songs  of  a  holier  world,  and 
when  we  kneel  together  round  the  throne  of  grace,  we 
cannot  but  send  up  our  thanksgivings,  that  their  trials 
have  taught  them  the  lessons  of  true  religion,  and  true 
happiness.  Oh,  my  friend,  the  blessings  from  our  Heav- 
enly Father's  hand  have  tilled  us  with  gratitude— -so  many 
that  we  love  are  now  safe  in  the  fold  of  Christ,  travelling 
with  us  to  the  promised  land." 

Journal, 
Sabbath  evening,  April  18.  Here  in  my  quiet  seat,  I  can 
again  spend  a  pleasant  hour  alone,  with  the  beautiful  blue 
sky  without,  and  the  sunlight  on  the  distant  hills.  There 
is  something  so  tranquilizing  in  such  a  sky  that  my  feel- 
ings are  perfectly  indescribable  while  I  gaze  upon  it.  Now 
while  I  write,  there  are  a  few  light  clouds  which  add  to 
its  beauty,  and  they  are  bright  with  the  rays  of  the  sun. 
Oh,  how  lovely  is  this  earth  !     Eveti  under  the  curse  it  is 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  85 

full  of  beauty.  But  I  do  not  count  this  tranquilizing  feel- 
ing as  religion.  Oh  no.  I  well  know  that  many  may  ex- 
perience the  same,  and  yet  have  hearts  full  of  corruption 
and  at  enmity  with  thai  glorious  Being  who  made  all 
things.  A  natural  religion  never  would  do  for  me.  I 
must  be  able  to  call  my  God  a  reconciled  Father  in  Christ, 
before  I  can  hold  any  true  communion  with  Him  in  His 
works.  But  I  do  love  his  works,  and  I  humbly  hope  that 
I  have  loved  them  lately  more  because  they  are  from  his 
hand,  and  that  I  have  in  some  measure 

"  Look'd  through  nature  np  to  nature's  God." 

I  know  the  heart  is  deceitful  above  all  things,  yet  it  is 
my  endeavor  to  be  free  from  sin  in  every  thing,  and  to 
make  every  thing  a  means  of  advancement  in  holiness.  I 
have,  alas,  many  drawbacks.  If  it  were  not  for  this 
Saviour,  "  who  can  be  touched  with  the  feeling  of  our  in- 
firmities," I  should  sink  in  despair.  My  desire  is  to  be 
wholly  renewed.  Some  things  I  read  this  morning  in  Miss 
Fry's  '*  Christ  our  Example,"  startled  me  very  much,  and 
I  only  found  peace  by  praying  to  the  Saviour  to  lead  me 
in  the  right  way. 

Monday^  I'^tli.  While  at  our  devotions  this  morning, 
the  notes  of  a  robin  broke  on  the  still  morning  air.  These 
early  birds  of  spring,  what  lessons  of  piety  they  are  teach- 
ing us  !  All  nature  smiles  around.  The  hills  sleep  peace- 
fully in  the  distant  sunshine,  and  the  blue  vault  of  heaven 
is  clear  and  cloudless,  and  1  am  happy — but  it  is  a  subdued 
happiness.  I  do  not  think  I  shall  ever  again  feel  the 
light-hearted  buoyancy  of  youth,  or  be  free  and  careless 
again.  But  I  am  happy  in  the  thought  of  doing  my  Heav- 
enly Father's  will,  and  in  trusting  my  Saviour  to  lead  me 
into  the  path  of  holiness,  and  far  from  those  sins  which 
8 


86  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

make  me  at  times  so  wretched.     Christ  strengthens  me  for 
every  duty. 

Evening.  Had  a  gleam  of  sunshine  come  across  my 
heart.  I  felt  happy  in  obeying  God,  and  it  left  a  sweet 
peace  in  my  heart  all  the  evening. 

Tuesday.  This  afternoon  one  of  my  little  S.  S.  schol- 
ars came  down,  and  I  had  a  sweet  talk  with  her  about 
prayer,  and  told  her  also  about  my  own  dear  teacher,  Mrs. 
Hovey,  and  how  we  always  kept  the  Sabbath  twilight  as 
an  hour  of  prayer.  It  is  many  a  long  year  since  she  first 
proposed  our  meeting  at  that  time  around  our  Father's 
throne  to  remember  each  other  in  our  petitions,  and  it  has 
become  the  most  hallowed  and  interesting  hour  to  me  of 
the  whole  week.  It  is  a  precious  link  to  bind  our  hearts, 
and  more  precious  now  that  our  teacher  is  in  heaven.  I 
proposed  that  now,  as  my  dear  little  M.  was  so  soon  to  be 
separated  from  me,  that  she  should  remember  the  hour, 
and  thus  we  should  still  be  joined  in  heart  around  the 
mercy-seat.  Six  months'  intercourse  with  this  dear  little 
girl,  in  my  class,  has  twined  our  hearts  closely  together, 
and  I  have  hope  that  she  is  a  child  of  God. 

Thursday.  Our  cook  is  sick,  and  I  have  spent  all  the 
mornino-  in  lookino;  round  for  another,  but  returned  without 
having  obtained  one,  and  went  into  the  kitchen  myself.  In 
the  midst  of  my  work  came  a  precious  package  from  New 
Haven — a  little  note  with  an  exquisite  cushion  for  a  birth- 
day gift,  and  a  long  letter  from  dear  Mrs.  Fitch,  very, 
very  good  ;  but  it  made  me  cry  hard,  and  then  I  prayed 
for  strength.  All  the  day  I  have  been  looking  to  that 
Saviour,  who  is  able  to  keep  from  falling  them  that  trust 
in  Him,  and  then  at  my  own  dark  heart,  so  full  of  sin,  so 
drawn   to  this  world,  that  I  fear  I  shall  never  be  able  to 


ams.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  87 

break  away  from  its  enticements,  and  make  an  unreserved 
consecration  of  my  all  to  Him. 

In  the  afternoon  was  refreshed  by  our  prayer  meeting, 
and  sweet  Christian  intercourse.  These  bonds  will  never 
be  sundered.  When  separated,  we  can  still  meet  around 
our  Father's  throne,  and  know  that  the  same  eternal  home 
awaits  us. 

O,  my  Saviour,  help  me  to  dwell  in  the  light  of  thy 
countenance  ;  to  know  no  will  l)ut  thine  ;  and  to  feel  happy 
in  yielding  all  to  thy  blessed  control. 

Saturday^  24:fh.  1  have  just  returned  from  the  funeral  so- 
lemnities of  the  lamented  Harrison.  At  an  early  hour,  this 
morning  the  sable  robing  of  the  streets  commenced.  Flags  in 
the  harbor  were  at  half  inast,  mourning  wreaths  were  around 
the  tower  of  the  Centre  Church,  and  wherever  we  turned, 
the  appropriate  signs  of  sorrow  met  our  eye.  They  who, 
but  a  month  since,  rejoiced  in  the  elevation  of  so  good  a 
man,  to  the  presidential  chair,  now  appeared  in  mourning 
badges  among  their  respective  societies.  There  was 
something  deeply  solemn  in  the  sombre  light  cast  on  the 
mourning  robes  of  the  church.  The  speaker's  voice  seemed 
to  come  from  a  sepulchre  of  black. 

Wednesday ^  2Sth.  This  is  indeed  a  glorious  morning—^ 
bright  with  sunlight,  and  joyous  with  birds.  O,  for  a 
heart  as  full  of  light  as  this  clear,  lovely  day  !  But  I  am 
happier  than  I  have  been.  There  is  a  peace  stealing  over 
my  mind  everyday.  Is  it  of  heaven  ?  I  pray  that  I  may 
be  searched,  and  that  the  Spirit  may  dwell  in  this  dark 
heart,  and  the  selfishness  within  be  scattered  before  its 
gentle  influence.  Will  not  this  prayer  be  accepted  for 
Jesus  sake  ^ 

Went  in  last  evening  to   the s'.     Found  the  girls 

preparing  to  go  to  E 's  wedding.     As  I  stood  in  the 


gS  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

room,  watching  the  making  of  their  toilette,  the  thought, 
that  for  me,  all  these  scenes  were  passing  away,  and  that 
a  time  would  come  when  I  should  leave  o//,  all,  filled  my 
heart  with  mingled  emotions.  The  parties  I  regret  not  at 
all;  but  the  social  intercourse  will  go  on,  friend  will  meet 
friend,  and  the  ocean  will  roll  between  me  and  my  own 
home.  Yet  I  was  peaceful,  and  had  many  sweet  thoughts 
alone,  after  my  return  home.  A  power  not  my  own,  kept 
wrong  feelings  from  arising  in  my  heart." 

**  Friday  J  30th,  To-day  has  been,  I  hope,  profitable  to 
me.  I  have  spent  it  as  a  day  of  fasting  and  examination  of 
heart,  before  coming  to  the  table  of  the  Lord.  I  have  been 
looking  over  the  past  two  months,  and  think  I  have  been 
gaining  strength  and  a  little  light,  since  the  last  sacrament. 
Comparing  my  feelings  with  what  they  then  were,  I  cer- 
tainly do  see  an  advance.  At  that  time,  I  felt  great  trust  and 
confidence  in  my  Saviour;  I  felt  happy  also  that  he  was 
so  fitted  to  be  a  Saviour  to  all  who  put  their  trust  in  him. 
But  in  thinking  of  God,  I  felt  almost  afraid  to  think  of  his 
sympathizing  with  us.  He  seemed  so  vast,  and  glorious. 
My  viev/s  of  him  then,  were  very  indistinct.  But  they 
have  for  some  time  been  expanding  ;  and  now^  the  thought 
that  this  great  Being  is  my  reconciled  Father  in  Christ,  is 
delightful,  and  the  thought  of  doing  his  will  entirely,  is,  I 
humbly  hope,  the  happiness  of  my  life.  If  I  am  not  de- 
ceived,! do  turn  away  from  every  earthly  thing,  and  make 
the  will  of  my  Father  my  chief  joy  ;  and  I  humbly  trust 
that  I  could  be  happy  in  it,  though  all  my  earthly  sources 
were  taken  away. 

Last  night,  while  here  by  my  window,  I  had  such  sweet 
thoughts,  that  I  felt  constrained  to  say  to  myself,  'yes,  I 
am  a  Christian  ;'  and  it  made  the  tears  come  very  fast,  to 
think  with  any  certainty,  this  may  he  true ;  for  all  my  life 
long  I  have  feared  to  admit  any  degree  of  hope  to  my  souL 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  89 

But  I  do  think  I  love  God  my  Father,  and  Jesus  my  Sav- 
iour, and  I  do  open  my  heart  to  the  influences  of  the  Spirit. 
It  does  seem  to  me  that  this  hope  is  gaining  strength. 

I  am  sure  I  love  God,  and  do  really  wish  to  do  his  will 
in  every  thing,  and  do  approve  the  gospel  plan  of  salvation, 
and  feel  earnestly  desirous  that  every  selfish  and  sinful 
feeling  may  be  taken  away,  and  that  every  one  may  know 
and  love  and  obey  God. 

My  views  too  have  changed  in  regard  to  enjoying  nature, 
and  the  various  gifts  around  me.  I  do  not  have  that  same 
unsatisfied  feeling  while  gazing  on  the  lovely  earth.  My 
soul  seems  to  rest  in  the  thought  that  my  Father  forms 
every  beauty  ;  and  I  do  not  look  around  with  that  painful 
desire  I  once  felt,  to  have  something  fill  a  void  which  I 
knew  was  in  my  heart,  while  I  enjoy  nature  more  and 
more  every  day." 

"  Sabbath  morning,  May  2d.  This  holy,  blessed  morn- 
ingshines  with  sweet  lighton  every  thing  within  and  around. 
I  have  enjoyed  a  quiet  hour  in  meditation  on  my  Father's 
goodness,  and  on  the  blessedness  of  his  service,  and  of  trust- 
ing him.  The  birds  are  praising  God,  and  my  heart  feels 
like  bursting  forth  in  songs  of  joy.  O,  this  lovely  world, 
what  would  it  be  if  the  smile  of  God  rested  on  all  hearts. 

This  beautiful  morning,  dear is  to  profess  her  love 

to  Christ,  and  many  dear  companions  are  coming  forward 
to  take  the  vows  of  God  upon  them.  How  good  is  our 
Saviour  I  Should  the  clouds  come  over  the  natural  earth, 
as  in  these  changing  days  they  do  so  often,  yet  will  the 
sun  of  righteousness  remain  to  cheer  our  hearts." 


90  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

To  hev  friend,  M.   S. 

Sabbath  Morning,  May  2d. 
^'My  dear  M.  I  could  not  think  of  coming  to  Sabbath 
School,  without  bringing  you  a  little  note.  How  lovely 
every  thing  is — full  of  the  beams  of  divine  love — and  what 
gushings  of  melody  come  in  the  songs  of  the  happy  birds  ! 
Do  they  not  find  responses  in  our  hearts,  my  friend  ?  Never 
did  I  feel  my  heart  leap  in  joy  as  it  does  this  morning.  0, 
M.,  is  it  not  delightful  to  live  in  the  service  of  so  good  a 
being  as  our  reconciled  Father  in  Christ  ?  Is  it  not  good 
to  yield  all  to  his  blessed  control,  and  know  no  will  but 
his  ?  Surely  there  is  more  blessedness  in  doing  his  will, 
than  in  any  thing  else  that  this  life  can  yield  us.  If  the  few 
scattering  joys  which  have  entered  our  benighted  hearts 
here,  make  us  so  happy,  what  must  the  full  glory  of  that 
life  be,  where  no  sin  can  obstruct  the  gushings  of  peace 
and  joy.  I  write  unconnectedly,  dear  M.,  for  my  heart  is 
so  full  I  cannot  give  expression  to  what  I  would  say.  I 
never  thought  that  I  could  be  so  peaceful  in  the  service  of 
God,  nor  have  such  a  sweet,  tranquil  frame  of  mind,  as  I 
have  enjoyed  for  a  few  days  past.  Now  I  give  up  every 
doubt  and  fear,  and  trusting  only  in  my  Saviour,  am  willing 
I  humbly  hope,  to  do  all  he  appoints.  Dear  M.,  I  did  not 
mean  to  occupy  this  note  with  my  own  feelings,  but  they 
would  come  out.  O,  to  sing  praises  to  our  Saviour  !  He 
who  has  redeemed  us  from  our  sins,  and  given  to  us  the 
hope  of  eternal  life  !     But  the  bell  rings  and  I  must  close.'' 


Journal. 

"  Seven  o'^clock,  P.  M.  I  must  note  down  what  a  sweet, 
composed,  happy  day  I  have  had.  It  was  indeed  sweet 
to  come  with  so  many  dear  friends  to  Christ's  table.     I  can 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  I.ENNEP.  "  91 

truly  say  that  it  has  been  one  of  my  most  peaceful  days^ 
All  is  given  up  to  God,  and  my  heart  does  humbly  rest  in 
him,  and  trust  in  that  Saviour  who  vi^ill  never  leave  nor 
forsake  those  who  come  to  him.  I  have  abundant  reason 
to  trust  him.  Yes,  O  yes  ;  and  my  heart  is  grateful  ;  of 
this  I  am  certain — and  though  the  clouds  come  over  my 
soul,  and  sins  perplex  and  distress,  and  though  trials  press 
on  every  side,  yet  can  I  say  '  my  heart  is  fixed.,''  and  I  will 
trust  him  forever." 

"  Sabbath,  May  9th.  This  is  a  morning  for  devout 
praise.  Surely  grateful  incense  should  ascend  from  every 
heart  to-day.  I  love  to  think  that  while  I  sit  at  my  win- 
dow, and  drink  in  the  varied  beauties  of  this  lovely  hour, 
there  are  many,  in  their  quiet  rooms,  who  now  are  sending 
up  to  heaven  the  glad  thanksgiving  of  hearts  full  of  love  to 
God.  All  nature  is  teeming  with  life  and  joy,  and  thrice 
happy  are  they  whose  minds  are  attuned  to  participate  in 
the  gladness  of  gushing  melody  from  bird  and  bee.  Again 
the  sunlight  lies  on  the  fresh  green  grass  and  gentle  hill- 
side, and  the  blossoms  smile  in  the  light  of  this  glorious 
morning,  and  the  notes  of  the  sweet  robin  meet  my  ear. 
I  love  all,  more  and  more,  every  day,  and  humbly  hope  I 
love  and  adore  the  Father  of  all.  I  think  as  my  love  of 
heavenly  things  increases,  so  also  does  my  love  of  this 
beautiful  creation. 

There  was  formerly,  when  I  drank  in  the  beauty  of 
nature,  such  an  under  current  of  sadness,  whence  it  came 
I  know  not,  and  such  a  feeling  of  oppression,  as  if  so  much 
beauty  were  painful,  that  my  saddest  hours  were,  when 
gazing  on  scenes  like  this  before  me.  It  was  an  unsatis- 
fied mind,  looking  in  vain  for  something  to  fill  the  void ; 
and  I  did  not  then  realize,  as  I  do  now,  that  it  was  a  sense 
of  God's   love   that  was  wanting.     I  thought   the  feeling 


92  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

constitutional,  for  as  it  was  in  nature,  so  it  was  in  every 
thing  else  that  1  enjo3'ed  ;  it  awoke  the  same  minor  chords 
to  vibrate  in  my  heart.  It  is  not  all  gone  now,  but  it  is  so 
far  diminished,  that  a  sweet  peace  comes  over  my  mind, 
and  a  little  season  alone,  where  nature  smiles,  draws  my 
heart  right  to  God,  and  I  go  away  satisfied  and  tranquil. 

I  feel  happy,  this  morning,  to  leave  myself  and  my  dear 
friends,  all  in  God's  hands.  There  is  mercy  through 
Christ.     We  can  trust  this  good  Saviour." 

"  Noon.  It  is  a  sweet  Sabbath  noon-tide,  quiet  and 
warm,  and  the  bees  are  lulling  us  with  their  hum  around 
the  fragrant  cherry  blossoms,  and  the  clear  liquid  notes  of 
a  bird,  break  now  and  then  on  the  stillness. 

This  morning,  my  father  went  to  the  Sunday  School. 
After  opening  it  with  prayer,  he  made  a  few  remarks,  at 
the  close  of  which,  he  spoke  of  the  book  which  was  ever 
open  to  our  view,  reading  us  lessons  of  love  and  truth 
from  its  beautiful  pages.  C.*  made  me  understand  that 
she  thought  it  was  the  book  of  nature  ;  and  I  was  pleased 
that  she  knew  so  readily.  My  father's  prayers,  both  at 
Sabbath  School,  and  afterwards  at  church,  were  adapted 
to  this  lovely  spring  day.  Dear  C.  is,  I  trust,  a  Christian. 
It  is  sweet  to  have  one  dear  child  safe  in  the  fold  of  the 
Saviour." 

To  E.t 

Sabbath  Evenings  May  9th,  1841. 

"I  hope,  my  dear  E.,  that  this  beautiful  Sabbath  has 
put  many  sweet  thoughts  into  your  mind,  and  led  you  to 

*  One  of  the  little  girls  in  her  class. 

t  A  young  friend,  in  whose  spiritual  welfare  she  felt  a  deep  inter- 
est. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  93 

love  our  Father  in  Heaven,  with  a  vs^arm  and  confiding 
love.  How  sweetly  the  beams  of  his  goodness  meet  us 
on  every  side.  Free  as  the  air  we  breathe,  is  the  love 
which  comes  from  our  God. 

Think,  my  dear  E.,  that  this  glorious  Being,  who  made 
the  stars  in  such  countless  numbers,  who  keeps  them  all 
in  their  places,  who  made  the  birds  too,  and  each  little 
insect  that  flies  in  the  sun-light,  and  keeps  them  all,  watch- 
ing and  guarding  them,  will  also  watch  over  and  guard 
you.  Oh,  yes, — he  has  a  Father's  heart,  and  not  one  who 
lifts  even  a  trembling  voice  to  him  will  he  neglect.  He 
listens  to  the  prayer  of  the  most  feeble  and  timid,  and  the 
momenta  poor  wanderer  returns  to  him,  he  meets  him  with 
a  Father's  blessing. 

Think  of  that  blessed  Saviour,  who  '  though  he  was 
rich,  for  our  sakes  became  poor.'  Why  did  he  leave  his 
glorious  home,  and  come  to  this  earth  to  suffer  so  long  a 
time,  and  die  in  so  much  agony  ?  Oh,  my  dear  E.,  we 
know  very  well  that  it  Avas  to  save  us  from  the  misery  and 
the  power  of  sin.  He  saw  us  while  we  were  far  from  God, 
and  in  infinite  love  he  came  to  draw  us  back  to  him. 
Do  you  know  that  verse, 

'  Jesus  saw  me  when  a  stranger,  '-  ^ 

Wand'ring  from  the  fold  of  God, 
He  to  save  my  soul  from  danger, 

Interposed  His  precious  blood.' 

My  dear  E.,  hear  the  voice  of  that  Saviour  calling  you  to 
him.  Go  and  give  him  your  heart — give  him  the  soul  he 
died  to  save.  He  ransomed  it  from  eternal  death,  not  with 
silver,  nor  gold,  nor  the  precious  things  of  this  world,  but 
with  a  price  infinitely  more  costly,  even  the  blood  which 
he  shed  on  the  cross. 

Will  you  not  give  him  your  whole   heart  ?     And  then 


94  MR3.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

your  Father  in  Heaven  will  love  you  for  Jesus'  sake,  and 
will  own  you  as  his  dear  child.  He  will  guide  you  safely- 
through  this  life,  and  should  your  way  ever  become  dark, 
yet  his  hand  will  lead  you  on,  and  bring  you  at  last  to  that 
peaceful  home  where  you  will  join  in  singing  anthems  of 
praise  '  to  him  who  hath  loved  us  and  given  himself  to  die 
for  us.'  No  sin,  no  sorrow  can  enter  that  home.  There 
our  Saviour  dwells  with  all  his  faithful  friends.  Many 
are  there  whom  we  have  known  and  loved,  and  he  who 
guided  them  safely,  will  also  guide  us.  Let  us  go  dear  E, 
together,  to  that  promised  land.  Jesus  will  lead  us  through 
every  temptation.  Why  should  we  have  any  fear  when 
we  know  that  God  will  help  us  }  Do  you  know  that  sweet 
verse  in  Isaiah  41  :  13:  '  I  the  Lord  thy  God  will  hold  thy 
right  hand,  saying  unto  thee,  fear  not ;  I  will  help  thee.' 

Write  me  an  answer,  dear  E.,  and  believe  me  ever  your 
affectionate  friend." 

A  delightful  response  came  back  to  this  note,  showing 
that  the  individual  to  whom  it  was  addressed,  was  already 
beginning  to  feel  an  interest  in  the  things  of  religion.  Mary 
bore  this  young  friend  constantly  upon  her  heart,  and  there 
was  ever  after  a  free  interchange  between  them  of  thoughts 
and  feelings  on  the  subject  of  personal  religion,  which  was 
interrupted  only  by  death. 

^^  Saturday,  May  ^^.  ^0  sunshine  and  fair  earth,' I 
say,  every  time  the  morning  breaks  in  its  freshness.  Day 
and  night  are  telling  the  same  story  of  love  and  joy,  which, 
like  a  gushing  fountain,  pervades  all  nature.  Morning  is 
for  joy  and  leaping  of  heart,  and  evening  is  for  calm  and 
gentle  thoughts,  but  both  tell  the  same  tale  of  a  Father  in 
Heaven,  ever  good  and  kind. 

Tuesday,  May  25,  was  a  delightful  day.  1  was  in 
Farmington  on  a  visit  to  C.  C.     We  went  at  11  o'clock, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  95 

to  Mr.  N.'s,  where  we  passed  a  lovely  time,  revelling  in 
wood  and  ravine,  and  gathering  wild  flowers  in  the  glen. 
It  is  a  paradise  on  earth.  The  house  and  grounds  are  per- 
fect. And  there  are  sweet,  Christian  hearts,  to  enjoy 
God's  rich  favors  there.  When  1  look  at  them,  and  feel 
how  much  they  are  enjoying,  there  is  no  heart  sickness 
about  it,  for  I  know  that  the  angel  of  peace  has  spread  his 
winy;  over  their  dweliins:,  and  that  the  other  w^orld  will 
but  continue  and  increase  their  happiness,  for  its  source  is 
in  God." 

To  C.  C.     First  day  of  summer,  1S41. 

Hartford,  Tuesday,  3,  P.  M. 

"  Here  I  am,  dear  C,  at  home,  and  you  are  again  in  your 
school,  and  the  visit  to  which  we  looked  forward  for  so 
many  months,  is  now  in  the  past,  and  its  events  are  living 
only  in  our  memories.  But  it  is  a  sweet  visit  to  remem- 
ber, and  I  love  to  call  up  each  day,  and  live  it  over  again. 
There  -vta^re  many  things  in  it,  v/hich  can  furnish  fruitful 
themes  for  our  meditation.  I  am  glad  that  we  spent  the 
time  as  we  did,  for  though  I  brought  back  to  Hartford 
nearly  all  the  difficulties  I  carried  away,  yet  I  returned 
with  a  better  heart  for  conquering  them,  and  have  already 
begun  to  carry  into  execution  some  plans  for  preserving  a 
quiet,  trustful  spirit.  I  feel  that  I  am  but  just  awaking 
from  my  childhood's  dreams;  that  I  have  every  thing  yet 
to  learn,  and  all  my  strength  to  gain. 

My  dear  C,  I  count  among  my  chief  blessings,  that  we 
are  permitted  to  know  each  other  on  earth,  and  to  form  a 
friendship  which  I  hope  eternity  will  only  strengthen.  In 
coming  years,  our  paths  ma}"-  be  widely  separated,  and  our 
interchanges  of  feeling  be  only  few.  But  it  will  matter 
little  to  us,  for  we  can  still  pray  for  each  other  at  our 


96  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Father's  throne,  and  no  distance  can  ever  break  the  bond 
which  unites  us.  And  while  we  are  steadily  pursuing  the 
way  our  Saviour  has  marked  out,  we  can  look  forward  to 
a  meeting  beyond  this  life — and  0,  that  meeting  !  Friend 
meeting  friend,  around  the  throne  of  God  and  the  Lamb  i 
There  we  can  all  recount  the  way  in  which  our  God  has 
led  us.  It  overwhelms  me  to  think  of  it.  Many  an  event 
now  unthought  of  will  pass,  before  that  meeting  comes. 
And  our  characters  too,  will  not  they  have  changed  ? 
Shall  we  be  the  same  beings,  with  hopes,  desires  and  joys  } 
And  shall  we  recognize  each  other  as  friends,  who  began 
existence  almost  together — who  wept  and  rejoiced  to- 
gether in  youth  } 

June  8th.  My  dear  friend,  is  there  not  a  perfect  luxury 
in  these  soft  summer  days  }  How  beautiful  every  thing 
is  !  Praise  and  thanksgivins;,  gushino;  forth  in  one  foun- 
tain  ! — and  are  not  our  hearts  tranquil  ?  I  wish  we  could 
spend  these  lovely  evenings  together.  The  foliage  is  more 
beautiful  here  than  ever  before,  and  the  city  has  looked 
like  a  garden,  as  I  have  stood  by  the  window  and  seen  it 
bathed  in  moonlight.  To  me,  there  is  something  fearfully 
solemn  in  a  winter  moonlight  upon  a  city ;  when  the  din 
of  daily  labor  has  ceased,  and  a  death-like  stillness  reigns 

over  all  the  abodes  of  men when  the  spires  rise  to  heaven 

in  their  lonely  majesty,  and  the  moon  passes  calmly  on  her 
way,  over  dwellings  which  hide  aching  and  weary  hearts. 
But  though  the  solemnity  remains  in  the  summer  time,  yet 
it  is  of  a  softer  kind,  and  not  what  makes  me  hold  my 
breath. 

We  had  a  sweet  Sabbath  twilight.  What  a  relief  it  is 
to  meet  around  our  Father'^  throne." 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  97 

Journal. 

"  Sabbath^  June  dth.  My  dear  C.  and  I,  engaged  in  a 
sacred  promise,  to  spend  the  twilight  hour  in  prayer  for 
three  dear  friends.  May  God  hear,  and  answer,  and  con- 
tinue to  us  a  praying  spirit.  The  Sabbath  twilight  is  pe- 
culiarly dear.     It  is  my  sweetest  hour." 

"  Wednesday^  June  I6th.  Here,  by  my  own  window,  I 
have  passed  a  quiet  season,  and  now  in  these  few  moments, 
I  must  recall  the  days  that  are  wanting  in  my  journal.  So 
many  and  so  varied  have  been  the  scenes  of  the  past  weeks, 
that  I  have  longed  to  note  them  down.  Perhaps  it  is  best 
that  I  am  obliged  to  hurry  them  over,  lest  they  assume  too 
much  importance  in  my  mind." 

"  Sabbath,  June  20th.  Once  more  alone  in  my  favorite 
seat,  with  a  sweet  Sabbath  to  reflect  upon.  Its  hours 
have  passed  very  calmly,  and  I  love  to  think  of  the  pray- 
ers, and  sermons,  and  of  my  Sabbath-school  class.  I  have, 
indeed ,  many  sins  to  mourn  over — many  wandering  thoughts 
have  crept  into  my  mind,  and  till  this  weary  body  of  sin  is 
cast  off,  they  will,  I  fear,  ever  trouble  me.  O,  I  am  frail, 
and  sin  clings  to  me  ;  but  I  can  pray  and  trust  in  God. 

These  blessed  Sabbath  services  are  my  life.  May  I 
grow  by  them  in  every  grace  ;  casting  off  selfishness,  and 
living  to  my  Father  in  Heaven.  My  dear  father's  sermons 
and  prayers  have  been  refreshing  and  strengthening  to  me  ; 
lifting  my  heart  above  this  world.  I  started  with  glad  sur- 
prise, when  he  read  the  closing  hymn.  I  had  been  think- 
ing of  it  during  the  afternoon,  as  appropriate.  Such  pleas- 
ant coincidences  often  occur.  My  favorite  it  has  long 
been.     *  Nor  eye  hath  seen  nor  ear  hath  heard.' 

I  have  a  peace  this  summer  such  as  I  never  felt  before. 
There  are  indeed  many  things  without,  which  do  try  me 
9 


gg  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

not  a  little.  It  is  a  very  eventful  season,  and  will,  in  all 
probability,  decide  the  destiny  of  my  life.  These  passing 
events  bring  with  them  many  perplexities  and  trials,  which 
would  weigh  me  down,  if  I  could  not  look  to  God  and  say, 
^  Thy  will  be  done.'  lam  pondering  many  things,  and 
there  is  a  ceaseless  rush  of  thought,  which  sometimes  makes 
my  brain  almost  wild.  And  then  I  have  so  many  duties, 
that  my  time  is  more  than  occupied — and  I  have  sin  and 
selfishness  to  subdue  within,  for  my  heart  is  revealing  its 
dreadful  corruptions — and  I  have  friends  to  pray  for,  whose 
condition  weighs  on  my  spirit—  but  in  the  midst  of  it  all,  I 
think  I  can  trust  in  God,  and  leave  all  with  him. 

I  do  hope  that  I  live  to  do  his  holy  will.  It  is  my  de- 
sire ever  to  wait  on   him  as  Father^  Saviour  and  Sancti- 

Jicr to  take  every  duty  as  it  comes  up  before  me,  with  an 

earnest  desire  to  do  God's  will  in  it — to  bear  every  trial, 
and  enjoy  every  blessing,  in  such  a  manner  as  will  fit  me 
for  the  other  world,  whenever  God  may  see  fit  to  call  me 
from  this. 

Dear  Madam  Feller  has  been  here  during  the  last  week. 
It  was  my  privilege  to  see  her  a  great  deal.  There  is  a 
holy  influence  constantly  around  her.  It  is  seen  in  every 
glance  of  her  eye,  and  felt  in  every  tone  of  her  voice.  She 
has  given  up  all  to  God,  and  now  she  wants  nothing.  May 
not  I  have  the  same  self-consecration,  and  give  up  all  to 
my  Father's  blessed  service.  A  vacant  seat  in  the  car- 
riage which  took  Madam  F.  to  Wethersfield,  it  was  my 
privilege  to  occupy.  In  spite  of  our  different  languages, 
we  contrived  to  understand  each  other — talked  with  eyes 
and  any  way.  Returned  home  feeling  as  though  I  had 
been  in  the  world  of  angels,  so  much  of  heaven  breathes 
in  all  that  surrounds  her." 

"  Wednesdai/y  2Sd.     On  Friday,  walked  out  to  Mrs. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  99 

C.'s,  on  the  hill.  We  had  been  invited  there  to  tea.  It 
was  a  beautiful  evening,  and  the  grounds  about  the  house 
are  uncommonly  fine — such  a  profusion  of  shrubbery,  and 
so  many  sweet  flowers.  But  1  went,  inwardly  regretting 
the  loss  of  my  quiet  twilight  hour  ;  yet  I  did  spend  a  far 
sweeter  one,  than  I  should  have  dared  to  hope  for  at  home. 
After  tea  we  walked  around,  and  while  I  lingered  alone, 
there,  beneath  the  softest  blush  of  a  summer  sky,  and  the 
fading  light  of  day  in  the  west,  I  passed  some  of  the  calm- 
est and  most  delightful  moments  I  ever  spent.  My  heart 
could  go  up  silently  to  the  throne  of  God,  and  in  Jesus' 
name,  I  could  pray  for  all  who  were  then  in  my  heart.  I 
thought  of  the  lines, 

'  Or  if 'tis  e'en  denied  then 
In  solitude  to  pray,'  &c.  &c. 

and  particularly  of  this  verse, 

'  E'en  then  the  silent  breathing 
Of  the  spirit  raised  above, 
Will  reach  that  throne  of  glory, 
Which  is  mercy,  truth  and  love.'  " 

Far?nington,  June  26th. 
*'  Here,  in  this  lovely  village,  with  the  meadow  land 
stretching  its  green  expanse  before  me,  spotted  with  its 
deep,  dark  groves,  and  the  misty  mountains  lining  the 
horizon — here  I  am.,  really  looking  upon  it — not  dreaming 
of  its  beauties — but  here  at  my  dearly  loved  window  in 
Mr.  N.'s  mansion.  Oh,  how  I  should  love  each  tree  and 
hill  side,  from  this  window,  if  it  were  my  own  home.  I 
should  love  to  watch  each  shadow  descending  from  the 
mountains,  and  veiling  those  dark  woods.  How  the  whis- 
pering breezt^,  floating  o'er  these  fairy  meadows,  and  bend- 
ing the  soft  long  grass,  would  speak  in  its  soothing  tones 


100  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

to  my  heart.  What  a  variety  of  lessons  could  I  learn  from 
every  look  at  nature.  I  have  seen  the  morning  sun  burst- 
ing forth  in  a  flood  of  golden  light,  upon  mountain,  wood 
and  meadow,  until  every  thing  glowed  in  beauty.  And  I 
have  seen  the  sun  go  quietly  to  rest,  and  a  sweet  dewy 
stillness  gather  over  hill  and  valley  ;  and  the  stars  have 
looked  down  in  their  mild  light,  and  the  moon  in  her  calm 
radiance^  has  shone  on  a  scene  of  loveliness,  rivaling  even 
the  heavens,  in  its  silent  glory.  I  have  seen  nature  here 
in  all  her  moods,  joyous  and  sad,  wild  and  tranquil,  drear 
and  beautiful — shadow  and  sunlight  coming  and  going, 
and  it  has  all  spoken  with  a  meaning  to  my  heart.  I 
should  love  it  all  too  well,  this  '  sunshine  and  fair  earth,' 
did  I  not  daily  pray  that  its  lessons  might  point  me  to  the 
skies.  They  must  not  speak  again  of  earth's  dreamy, 
fevered  enchantments  ;  no,  these  lovely  scenes  must  lead 
my  heart  through  nature  to  its  God. 

It  is  two  years  since  I  knew  this  lovely  spot,  and  I  have 
passed  many  a  pleasant  hour  since  then  in  this  dear  family. 
Sweet  intercourse  I  have  had  with  friends  here.  Charley 
glads  me  with  his  merry  frolics.  But  these  quiet  moments 
by  my  own  window,  will  be  my  last,  for  before  the  sun 
has  gone  down,  I  shall  be  in  my  own  dear  home." 

Hartford^  June  27. 
^'  Sabbath  Evening.  Again  in  my  own  precious  home, 
and  though  wearied  in  mind  and  body,  I  am  thankful  for  a 
quiet  heart.  It  has  been  a  very  warm,  damp  day.  One 
of  those  dreamy  days,  if  I  were  of  a  mind  to  dream,  but  I 
am  not.  O,  no.  There  is  too  much  to  be  done  in  this 
world  to  leave  room  for  dreams.  There  is  a  continual  con- 
flict to  be  carried  on  with  sins — a  continual  watching  and 
striving  against  them,  and  need  of  continued  effort,  and 
much  earnest  prayer  for  the  promotion  of  holiness  in  our 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  101 

world.  Surely  there  is  enough  to  do.  Oh,  for  strength, 
and  the  willing  mind.  God  will  give  both,  if  we  only 
wait  humbly  on  him. 

"  Jane  28th.  While  at  Farmington,  I  read  Byron.  I 
had  many  thoughts  about  reading  his  works  ;  but  I  wished 
to  know  him,  that  I  might  be  better  able  to  influence  some, 
who  love  him,  and  Moore,  and  Shiller,  too  well.  I  prayed 
to  know  what  was  duty — so  when  dozing  time  came,  after 
dinner,  while  all  was  still,  I  took  down  '  Childe  Harold.' 
I  read  it  calmly,  for  I  could  do  it  then— once,  it  would  have 
made  my  brain  wild.  There  are  some  glorious  things  in 
it  ;  but  through  the  whole,  sweeps  the  same  dark  current 
of  thought  and  feeling.  It  is  fearful  to  think  of  his  mind, 
enlightened  by  no  ray  from  heaven ;  thrilling  only  to  such 
themes  as  are  natural  to  ruined,  apostate  man,  brooding 
over  the  dark  and  troubled  scenes  of  earth,  and  madly 
rushing  on  to  ruin,  with  the  wreck  of  faculties,  which  had 
they  been  rightly  directed,  would  have  elevated  him  high 
in  the  scale  of  being.  I  read  the  two  first  Cantos,  after 
dinner,  and  each  day  after,  while  all  was  still  at  the  same 
hour,  I  made  myself  familiar,  not  only  with  Childe  Harold, 
but  many  other  of  his  pieces." 

*'  Friday.,  July  2d.  I  am  thankful  in  the  prospect  of  a 
few  quiet  hours,  for  I  need  them  very  much  to  arrange  my 
scattered  thoughts,  and  know  where  I  am.  And  first  I 
must  take  some  note  of  those  passing  days. 

On  Tuesday  afternoon,  I  went  with  a  party  to  the  tower. 
Had  a  most  lovely  time,  and  enjoyed  it  more  than  any  other 
excursion  I  had  made  there.  I  have  it  all  in  my  memory, 
for  it  touched  too  many  chords  within,  to  be  soon  forgot- 
ten— but  no  words  can  describe  the  beauty  of  the  scene. 

Sweet  and  calm  were  my  thoughts,  almost  all  the  time. 
9* 


102  MRS.  MAHV  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

I  felt  free,  and  happy  as  a  bird.  Even  the  dream-like 
clouds  which  lay  pillowing  in  the  far  north,  did  not  awaken 
the  same  feelings  of  sadness,  they  would  once  have  done. 
The  far  off  hills,  so  dim  and  shadowy,  and  the  sky,  stoop- 
ing so  softly  down  to  meet  them,  as  seen  from  the  tower, 
almost  took  away  my  breath. 

I  had  a  sweet  time  down  by  the  boat  house,  just  at  sun- 
set. Some  had  left  it,  and  were  walking  in  other  parts  of 
the  grounds,  and  thf^  few  who  remained  were  quiet  with 
the  gathering  repose  of  nature.  I  stood  alone  by  the  lake, 
and  watched  the  thick  foliage  around  it,  fringed  with  the 
last  golden  light.  The  waters  were  sleeping  calmly  be- 
neath the  o'ershadowing  mountains,  and  I  blessed  my 
Father  in  Heaven  for  the  beauty  there  is  in  our  fair  earth, 
and  holy  thoughts  of  his  love  came  floating  into  my  mind. 
1  was  not  troubled  with  vanity,  as  I  had  formerly  been  on 
such  occasions  ;  and  yet  I  feel  almost  afraid  to  say  so,  for 
I  know  the  same  selfish  feelings  remain,  yet  they  do  not 
give  me  so  much  trouble,  nor  occasion,  as  they  once  did, 
such  a  ceaseless  inquietude  within.  1  know,  that  if  I  do 
God's  will,  that  is  all  that  is  of  importance  to  me.  I  am 
happy  for  the  visitings  of  such  thoughts,  for  they  help  me 
to  increase  in  my  desires  for  other's  happiness,  and  to  put 
down  that  towering  selfishness,  which  has  gained  such 
mastery  over  me.  A  bright  moon  lighted  our  way  home, 
where  we  found  ourselves  safe  at  ten  o'clock.  I  thanked 
God  for  all  my  blessings. 

A  bright  moon  all  this  week  has  been  shining,  and  I 
have  sat  alone  a  few  moments  every  night,  that  the  calm 
stillness  of  all  nature  might  speak  holy  thoughts  to  me  ; 
and  I  have  been,  I  fear,  reading  the  book  of  nature  more 
than  the  book  of  grace.  Oh,  there  will  come  a  dearth  to 
my  soul,  if  I  do  not  awake. 

Next  Sabbath  is  our  communion,  and  my  heart  is  sad  to 


MnS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  103 

think  I  have  improved  so  little  in  these  two  months.  There 
has  been  a  happy  arrangement  of  things,  by  which  I  am 
able  to  spend  this  morning  in  quiet,  for  oh,  my  heart  aches, 
it  is  so  oat  of  order,  and  I  need  time  to  think.  I  must  see 
where  I  am.  Oh,  my  Father,  wilt  thou  send  thy  Spirit  to 
search  me  and  take  away  my  sins,  that  I  may  renew  my 
covenant  with  thee,  and  be  truly  thy  child. 

During  the  past  two  months,  there  has  been  increasing 
distractedness,  owing  to  the  varied  scenes  which  summer 
brings.  I  thought  much  of  this  in  the  spring,  and  prayed 
that  this  spirit  of  the  world  might  not  creep  in  with  the 
return  of  warm  days  of  luxury  and  beauty. 

I  feel  that  I  have  less  of  it  this  season  than  ever  before. 
It  seems  less  a  matter  of  importance  what  the  world  thinks 
of  me,  or  how  I  stand  in  the  estimation  of  those  around  me 
in  a  mere  worldly  point  of  view. 

Last  summer  I  pined  to  mingle  more  in  society,  and  it 
made  me  unhappy  to  see  how  much  I  was  shut  out  from 
it.  It  seemed  to  me  that  comparatively  few  cared  to  make 
my  acquaintance.  This  mortified  my  vanity,  and  I  was 
continually  thinking  of  it,  and  turning  it  over  in  my  mind. 
I  could  not  persuade  myself  that  this  sensitiveness  was 
wrong  ;  for  I  knew  that  it  was  not  mere  worldly  society, 
nor  worldly  indulgencies,  which  I  desired ;  but  it  was 
that  I  might  mingle  in  general  society,  as  the  other  girls 
did.*     I  reasoned  thus  with  myself: — '  Jf  it  were  for  sinful 

*  Several  things  contributed  at  the  time  alluded  to,  to  exclude  her 
somewhat  from  general  society.  Among  these,  the  principal  was  the 
lateness  of  the  hour  when  parties  broke  up.  Her  father  was  an  ad- 
vocate for  seasonable  hours,  and  was  exceedingly  annoyed  by  any 
irregularities  either  in  rising  or  retiring,  which  broke  in  upon  family 
order,  or  interrupted  the  regular  studies  and  duties  of  the  day.  The 
habits  of  society,  in  this  respect,  were  at  variance  with  his  principles. 
If  she  attended  parties  therefore,  she  must  do  so  at  the  expense  of 


104  ^JRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

things  that  I  pined,  it  would  be  wrong,  but  how  could  I 
feel  otherwise  than  sad,  when  my  days  passed  compara- 
tively in  solitude  ?' 

I  know  that  1  am  fitted  to  enjoy  life,  to  mingle  in  all  the 
interchanges  of  friendship,  and  to  participate  in  the  various 
scenes  which  help  to  form  the  characters  of  my  friends ; 
but  I  now  see,  that  the  feelings  which  I  had  last  summer, 
were  very  wrong.  I  forgot  the  blessings  which  God  was 
then  showering  on  my  path — those  sweet  blessings  which 
have  been  mine  for  years — and  the  things  which  he  with- 
held were  not  what  I  needed.  They  would  have  drawn 
away  my  heart  from  him.  It  was  best  I  should  be  with- 
out them.  How  foolish  and  wicked  have  been  those  repi- 
nings?  What  blessings  I  have  enjoyed  I  The  only  thing 
I  can  weep  about  now,  is  my  poor  improvement  of  them. 
My  situation  is  just  the  one  for  the  improvement  of  my 
mind,  my  heart,  and  my  capacities  for  usefulness.  I 
have  blessings  all  around,  if  I  only  knew  how  to  avail 
myself  of  them.  I  have  enjoyed  many  calm  hours  alone, 
and  have  felt  my  heart  growing  better  by  them,  and  also  by 
the  precious  Sabbaths  I  have  had  given  me.  And  then  I 
have  communion  with  sweet  friends — oh,  so  sweet,  that  I 


incommoding  her  father.  If  she  retired  from  them  altogether,  she 
must  do  so  at  the  risk  of  losing  her  friends.  This  for  a  time  occa- 
sioned her  much  perplexity,  and  some  real  suffering.  She  knew  her 
father  had  no  wish  to  exclude  her  from  society  ;  on  the  contrary,  that 
he  chose  to  have  her  mingle  freely  with  her  young  friends,  and  par- 
ticipate with  them  in  all  the  appropriate  enjoyments  of  social  inter- 
course. But  she  quickly  found  the  impracticability  of  doing  this,  and 
at  the  same  time  of  accommodating  herself  to  his  hours.  She  there- 
fore made  up  her  mind  to  retire  from  late  social  circles  altogether. 
As  a  consequence  of  doing  so,  she  was  dropped  from  the  acquaintance 
and  attention  of  some,  and  those  who  sought  intercourse  with  her, 
were  such  as  truly  valued  her  society  and  friendship:  and  precious 
indeed  to  her  was  this  choice  circle  of  friends. 


MRS.  MARY  H.  VAN  LENNEP.  105 

can  only  find  relief  for  my  happiness,  by  thanking  God  for 
them.  Then,  I  have  continued  opportunities  for  useful- 
ness !  My  cup  runneth  over.  ¥v^hat  shall  I  do  ?  It 
seems  as  though  my  Heavenly  Father  is  leading  me  to  him  ; 
and  in  every  way  of  love  he  can  devise,  is  drawing  this 
stubborn,  ungrateful,  selfish  spirit  to  himself. 
•  I  have  no  more  of  society  than  I  had  last  summer,  but  I 
have  learned  to  look  for  happiness  in  another  channel. 
And  here  1  am  in  danger — I  feel  it.  I  am  in  danger  on 
many  accounts  :  and  first,  of  being  seJf-scitisJied — of  think- 
ing 1  have  something  loithin  that  lives  without  the  toorld's 
breath.  This  is  h^'mg  puffed  up.  I  may  thank  God  that 
he  gives  me  grace  to  do  so,  but  any  thing  like  pride  will 
ruin  all  peace.  I  am  thankful  that  I  have  sources  within 
my  heart,  of  happiness.  But  here  another  trouble  meets 
me.  I  ask  myself  whence  is  this  happiness  .?  Comes  it 
from  doing  God's  will }  Does  it  proceed  from  a  consecra- 
tion to  the  Saviour  ?  Or  is  it  from  a  feeling  within,  which 
is  merely  a  kind  of  poetic  religion  }  A  meditative,  pleas- 
ant communion  with  natural  beauties  ?  If  this  be  the  case, 
then  my  peace  rests  on  no  safe  foundation.  Lately  I  have 
been  troubled  about  this  ;  and  it  requires  my  serious  atten- 
tion. I  do  not  think  that  my  religion  is  mere  poetry,  but 
I  fear  it  may  all  run  away  in  feeling,  without  producing 
any  or  but  little  good  effect.     I  must  guard  against  this. 

I  have  many  sins — God  only  knows  how  many — sins  of 
vanity  and  selfishness,  of  listlessness,  waste  of  time,  and 
worldly-mindedness — sins  too  of  unquiet — for  T  feel  that 
every  moment  of  unrest,  that  I  allow,  is  a  sin.  And  I 
could  not  have  believed  it  possible  that  I  should  acknowl- 
edge this  I  said.  Christian  principle  does  not  take  away 
feeling,  and  so  long  as  we  are  in  a  state  of  discipline,  our 
feelings  must  be  often  sad  and  gloomy — and  so  I  sometimes 
allowed  a  melancholy  to  steal  over  my  spirit.     But  this 


106  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

was  wrong,  and  against  the  spirit  of  the  Bible.  Though  I 
now  feel  that  religion,  so  far  from  taking  away  feeling,  only 
increases  it,  yet  1  draw  a  different  conclusion  from  what  I 
once  did.  The  heart  in  which  the  love  of  God  reigns,  may 
feel,  and  deeply  too,  the  trials  which  here  come  alike  to 
all ;  -but  there  will  be  in  the  mind  of  such  a  person,  a  peace, 
which  as  '  an  anchor  to  the  soul  sure  and  steadfast,'  will 
keep  it  unmoved  amidst  assailing  temptations. 

I  have  had  during  the  past  two  months,  many  duties, 
and  I  have  felt  all  along  too  hurried  to  perform  them  well, 
and  I  am  resolved  to  turn  over  a  new  leaf,  and  keep  calm. 

I  think  1  have  wasted  many  moments  in  wandering 
thoughts  during  my  times  of  devotion,  making  these  sea- 
sons less  profitable  than  they  would  otherwise  have  been. 

I  have  loved  to  pray  and  meditate  ;  but  has  it  been  in  a 
right  manner  r  In  all  my  feelings,  desires  and  plans,  am  I 
sure  that  the  glory  of  God  is  my  end  ?  Have  1  engaged 
in  these  for  myself,  or  because  I  love  Jesus,  and  have  con- 
secrated all  to  him  ?  These  are  solemn  questions,  and  I 
will  try  to  answer  them  candidly  to  my  own  heart,  and 
pray  for  God's  blessing,  that  wherein  I  sin,  the  blood  of 
Jesus  may  cleanse  it  away,  that  so  I  may  indeed  do  the 
whole  will  of  God. 

I  have  not  enjoyed  the  same  sweet  thoughts  to-day  that 
I  had   before   the   last  communion.      I  have  not  had    that 

tender  spirit but  now  1  pray  for  it.     May  the  world  be 

far  away,  and  holy  things  occupy  my  mind.  And  now  I 
commit  myself  to  God.  May  I  have  a  calm  Sabbath,  and 
be  in  a  state  of  preparation  for  its  holy  ordinances.  May 
vanity  and  selfishness  be  far  away,  and  1  entirely  devoted 
to  my  Father  and  Saviour." 

'*  Sabbath  noon,  July  Ath.  I  have  just  returned  from  a 
sweet  season,  for   which  my  heart  blesses  God,  my  Sav- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  107 


iour.  O,  these  are  refreshing  ,5easons  in  our  pilgrimage. 
Tliey  come  as  gleams  to  our  path,  even  now,  though  far 
from  our  Father's  home.  He  sends  his  love  to  us,  and 
here  in  this  lower  world,  we  may  sing  the  songs  of  the 
redeemed.  This  is  a  day  to  be  remembered.  How  sweet, 
how  joyful,  to  rest  my  all  on  Jesus,  to  lean  on  him,  and 
know  no  fear.  Here  I  can  praise  him  only  faintly.  In 
that  day,  when  this  mortal  robe  is  cast  aside,  I  will  raise 
my  voice  in  a  ceaseless  song  of  gratitude — '  Unto  Him 
who  hath  loved  us,  and  given  himself  to  die  for  us.' 

Last  communion,  I  prayed  that  three  dear  friends  might, 
ere  the  day  should  come  again,  be  safe  in  the  fold  of  Christ. 
That  prayer  has  often  been  renewed  since,  and  yet  this 
day  is  here,  and  finds  them  still  strangers  to  God.  But  I 
know  not  what  may  be  now  passing  in  their  minds.  Per- 
haps some  gleam  of  truth  may  have  entered  their  hearts, 
and  be  secretly  at  work  within  them.  Jesus  has  died  for 
them,  and  I  will  still  pray,  that  for  his  sake,  they  may  be 
made  free  from  sin,  and  heirs  of  everlasting  life. 

This  day,  at  communion,  I  thought  of  four  things  which 
deserved  special  notice,  and  I  resolved  to  do  them,  during 
the  coming  two  months.  And  first  of  all,  to  endeavor  to 
keep  a  heart  free  from  all  disquiet,  humbly  doing  God's 
will,  and  leaning  on  the  Saviour.  Then  to  converse  more 
on  heavenly  things  with  all  my  friends,  particularly  those 
a  little  younger  than  myself.  Then  to  continue  to  pray  for 
the  same  dear  friends  who  have  been  on  my  heart  for  a  long 
time,  and  to  add  one  more  to  the  number.  And  lastly  I 
made  a  general  resolution,  to  be  active  in  every  way  of 
doing  good,  particularly  in  my  class  and  tract  district." 

'-^  July  11. — Morning.      Our  sweet   Sabbath   is    again 

here.     I  have  no  words  for  the  loveliness  of  these  days. 

^Their  beauty  refreshes  my  soul,  and  leads  me  to  God. 


108  'MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


Many  things  have  been  going  on  in  my  inner  world  the 
past  week,  and  I  have  needed  much  grace  to  meet  its 
duties,  and  to  overcome  this  heart  of  evil,  which  1  bear  so 
continually  about  O,  when  shall  1  be  free  from  this  body 
of  sin  ?  When  will  the  world  cease  to  have  power  over 
me  ?  I  thank  God,  that  in  the  midst  of  much  sin,  I  have 
been  able  to  look  to  him,  and  my  prayers  have  been 
answered.  But  I  feel  the  earthliness  of  this  heart  more 
and  more.  It  is  too  strong  for  me  ;  yet  I  will  trust  in 
God." 

*'  July  12.  Last  Monday  was  the  Temperance  celebra- 
tion. I  sat  alone  in  the  orchestra  till  the  procession  entered 
the  church.  It  was  truly  a  grand  and  interesting  sight. 
In  the  procession  were  the  different  societies  of  the  city. 
Each  wore  appropriate  badges,  and  carried  beautiful  ban- 
ners. There  was  the  '  Juvenile,'  and  the  '  Young  Men's 
Society,'  and  the  '  Catholic ;'  but  what  interested  me 
most,  was  the  '  Washington  Society' — to  see  those  rising 
from  the  chains  of  intemperance,  and  struggling  to  be  free 
men  again." 

"  TImrsday,  loth,  I  did  enjoy  yesterday.  Had  a  de- 
lightful ride  to  the  tower  through  Farmington.  Our  con- 
versation was  quite  lively,  though  not  improperly  so.  All 
of  us  were  Christians,  and  in  such  a  party  there  is  always 
a  certain  balance,  which  keeps  us  from  going  too  far.  From 
Farmington,  we  went  through  Avon,  to  the  mountain. 
That  mountain  road,  sweeping  through  those  groves,  and 
commanding  a  view  of  the  valleys  beyond,  is  very  fine. 
There  were  clouds  in  the  sky — but  they  added  a  majesty 
to  the  scene.  The  stillness  of  the  lake  before  the  gathering 
storm,  spread  quiet  over  my  heart  also.  We  sat  by  the 
shore,  and  woke  the  echoes  by  a  few  pensive  strains,  and 
then  i]^e  rain  came,  and  we  ran  for  our  carriage,  which  was 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  109 

at  some  distance;  but  we  were  not  much  wet.  The 
locusts,  which  hne  the  avenue  to  the  boat  house,  give  the 
grounds  quite  an  eastern  look — and  I  always  think  of  the 
feathery  trees,  which  raise  their  heads  in  far-off  sunny 
climes,  when  I  see  thein.  Rode  home  in  a  thunder  storm. 
It  was  not  a  wild  and  fearful  one,  and  in  our  carriage  we 
did  not  feel  it  much," 

'^  Saturday  evenwg^  iSt'h.  God  has  been  showing  me 
this  vile  heart  of  pride  and  selfishness,  and  I  have  felt  hum- 
bled by  it.  May  it  lead  me  to  make  exertions  for  my 
friends,  not  in  a  spirit  of  selfishness,  but  in  a  true  desire 
for  God's  glory.  My  only  wish  with  regard  to  m.yself  is, 
that  I  may  be  willing  to  be  nothing,  and  to  have  God  all. 
Have  had  a  deeply  interesting  talk  with  F.,  for  whom  I 
cease  not  to  pray.  Many  things  have  come  to  my  knowl- 
edge about  him,  and  I  am  hoping  and  trembling.  There 
will  be  revelations  made  on  the  hills  of  light,  of  which  w^e 
do  not  now  dream  ;  revelations  which  will  show  the  ever- 
lasting, unchmging  love  and  faithfulness  of  God  our  Sav- 
iour, who  will  not  let  us  go,  but  will  watch  over  and  guide 
until  we  are  safe  in  the  path  of  life.  1  v,  ill  still  pray,  and 
will  not  cease." 


To  E.,  the  young  friend  to  whom  a  note  was  addressed  May  9th. 

July  27th,  1S41. 
"  I  could  wish,  my  dear  E.,  that  I  had  time  for  many- 
words  this  morning,  for  I  love  to  write  to  you  very  much. 
You  seem  discouraged,  my  dear  girl,  because  you  do  not 
always  keep  your  resolutions.  But  you  must  not  feel  so. 
Try  again — try  very  often,  and  look  to  your  Saviour,  who 
will  certainly  help  you  to  overcome  every  wrong  feeling. 
Oh,  do  not  feel  as  though  you  should  fail.  Is  not  Jesus 
10 


110  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Christ  stronger  than  your  sins  ?  Cannot  he  help  you  to 
triumph  over  thenn?  What  a  blessing  it  is  that  he  has 
touched  your  heart  with  sorrow  for  them.  If  you  repent, 
he  will  take  them  away,  and  will  make  your  heart  happy, 
by  shedding  abroad  his  love  there. 

You  ask,  dear  E.,  if  it  was  wrong  for  you  to  pray  about 
the  things  you  did.  Oh  no.  Go  to  your  Father  in  Heaven, 
and  tell  him  all  your  feelings,  and  pray  about  every  sorrow 
you  have,  and  thank  him  for  every  joy,  and  ask  him  for 
what  you  wish — -only  say  just  as  Jesus  did,  '  Thy  will  be 
done.'  Dear  E.,  you  cannot  please  him  more  than  by 
doing  so.  Satan  and  sin,  have  driven  us  away  from  our 
Father,  and  they  would  keep  us  away  if  they  could  ;  but 
he  calls  us  to  come  home  to  him,  and  be  his  dear  children, 
and  hold  that  sweet  intercourse  with  him,  which  children 
may.  Therefore  you  may  go  without  fear,  and  in  Jesus' 
name,  may  lift  up  your  heart  to  him  at  all  times.  And 
what  a  blessing  !  In  our  waking  hours,  and  in  the  quiet 
night,  and  when  the  morning  dawns,  and  when  we  walk 
amidst  the  beautiful  scenes  of  nature,  we  may  lift  up  our 
hearts  in  prayer  to  that  good  Being,  who  is  ever  near  us. 

And  now,  my  dear  E.,  I  must  close.  Often  I  pray  for 
you,  that  God  would  give  you  strength  to  go  on  in  the  right 
path.  May  you  never  grow  weary  in  well  doing,  is  the 
prayer  of  you  sincere  friend,  M." 

To  C.  C. 

Hartford^  Wednesday  evening,  July  28,  1841. 
*'  Dear  C.  T  scarcely  know  where  to  begin,  among  the 
multiplicity  of  interesting  topics,  which  have  accumulated 
the  past  weeks.  I  have  thought  out  many  things,  and  have 
longed  to  seize  my  pen,  but,  I  blush  to  say  it,  I  am  hurried 
as  ever  in  this  hurrying  world.     O,  if  I  only  accomplished 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  1 1 1 

any  thing  I  But  I  am  going  to  do  two  things,  and  if  one 
was  not  that  I  am  to  spend  a  week  at  the  sea-side  imme- 
diately, I  should  not  be  writing  you  in  so  anti-puritanical 
a  time  as  I  now  am. 

I  do  thank  you  ten  thousand  times  for  your  letter.  I 
would  gladly  take  each  separate  topic,  and  tell  you  of  the 
thoughts  it  has  occasioned  When  I  return,  I  shall  enjoy 
writing  to  you.  But  you  are  wondering  why  I  should  think 
of  being  away  just  now.  It  could  not  be  avoided.  Miss 
B  ,  one  of  Mr.  Brace's  teachers,  is  obliged  to  leave  town 
for  a  few  wrecks,  and  it  was  impossible  to  get  any  one  to 
take  her  place,  and  I  did  consent,  though  with  much  fear 
and  trembling,  to  go  into  the  school  during  her  absence. 
As  my  health  is  not  perfectly  equal  to  it,  my  friends  are 
going  to  send  me  on  Friday  to  the  sea-side.  I  shall  return 
in  time  to  commence  my  new  duties  on  the  second  Monday 
in  August.  O,  C,  I  dare  not  speak  of  it.  I  did  but  exist 
before  ;  and  those  long  hours  in  school,  teaching  Butler  and 
Algebra  to  girls  older  than  lam  !  But  it  will  have  an  end. 
If  1  live  through  it  all,  then  I  will  talk  abput  it. 

I  have  no  words  to  tell  you  of  my  joy  at  the  tidings  of 
J.  N.*  Such  an  event  can  only  be  prayed  and  rejoiced 
over  with  tears  of  gratitude.  Surely  we  can  trust  and 
pray  with  assurance  now.  If  I  had  seen  you  a  day  later 
than  Wednesday,!  could  have  told  you  very  much.  Per- 
haps I  had  then  too  many  hopes.  Yet  I  was  never  so  over- 
come as  on  that  day,  with  the  thought  of  God's  faithful 
love  to  the  poor  wandering  children  of  this  world,  seeking 
them  out,  and  leading  them  in  paths  they  know  not,  till  he 
brings  them  to  that  path  which  couducts  safely  home. 

Pray,  dear  C,  that  my  heart  niay  be  fixed  on  the  Sav- 
iour— that  I  may  listen  all  the  time  to  the  teachings  of  the 

*  A  friend,  who  had  just  become  a  Christian. 


112  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Spirit.  I  dread  the  water-side  for  fear  of  the  company  ; 
and  yet  I  am  looking  forward  with  longing  delight  to  days 
spent  '  M  here  the  glad  sea  winds  are  blowing,'  and  the  blue 
water  sweeps  its  waves  among  the  rocks.  I  am  going  to 
Sachem's  Head,  which  is  said  to  be  delightful  this  season* 
On  my  return,  I  shall  try  to  stop  a  day  in  New  Haven,  for 
my  dear  J.  is  going  south.  I  cannot  bear  to  think  of 
her  leaving  us.  But  I  must  look  forward  now  to  heaven, 
as  the  place  where  dear  friends  can  enjoy  intercourse,  which 
must  be  denied  here." 

Journal. 

*'  Sunday  evenings  August  St/i.  Here  am  T  again  in  my 
own  home,  with  my  beloved  friends,  and  by  my  quiet  win- 
dow, I  am  spending  these  last  holy  hours  of  another  Sab- 
bath. Another  week  has  past,  full  of  events,  and  full  of 
subjects  for  remembrance  and  prayer.  My  health  is  im- 
proved by  the  jaunt,  and  my  heart  is,  I  trust,  somewhat 
improved  by  the  seasons  of  devotion  I  have  enjoyed  at  the 
Head. 

This  morning  I  awoke  early,  and  a  strange  sadness 
hanging  over  me  for  which  I  could  not  account,  filled  me 
with  perplexity.  Have  prayed  much  all  day  for  absent 
ones,  and  have  been  ready  to  ask  how  I  knew  that  any  of 
my  prayers  would  be  answered.  But  I  will  always  pray 
and  trust  in  God.  Let  not  my  eye  become  dim,  nor  mj'' 
steps  grow  faint.  What  I  need  is  perseverance.  Help 
me,  O  my  Saviour,  to  grow  in  this  grace.  1  want  more 
enlarged  views.  I  want  to  act  from  deep,  warm  princi- 
ples of  piety  in  every  thing.  But  1  will  work  yet  more 
hard.  I  will  trust  in  God  for  sanctification  by  the  Spirit, 
and  will  give  up  all  my  interests  to  Him  who  doeth  all 
things  right.  May  I  remember  that  it  is  mine  to  trust 
and  do  His  will. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


113 


To  M. 

August  2\st.  It  was  my  earnest  desire,  my  pre- 
cious friend,  to  answer  your  letter  immediately  on  its 
reception,  and  nothing  but  the  most  urgent  duties  could 
have  prevented  my  doing  this  sooner.  How  my  heart  did 
rejoice  in  your  letter.  Dear  M.  we  have  both  been  led, 
though  by  different  ways,  to  change  our  views  very  much 
with  regard  to  this  life,  and  the  life  beyond  the  grave.  Let 
us  praise  our  God  and  Father  that  he  has  inclined  us  to 
look  away  from  ourselves  to  the  interests  of  His  glorious 
kingdom, — let  us  thank  Him  that  he  has  enabled  us  to 
feel  that  it  is  a  privilege  to  live  only  to  do  His  will,  by  try- 
ing to  advance  the  cause  of  our  Saviour,  in  this  ruined 
world.  O  my  friend,  could  we  sit  down  together  for  an 
hour,  we  should  find  themes  enough  for  conversation.  If 
this  blessing  is  denied  us  here,  yet  in  Heaven  we  can  '-'•  Re- 
member all  the  way  that  God  has  led  us."  When  I  think 
of  God,  and  of  Jesus,  and  of  the  kingdom  of  holiness  which 
is  arising  over  the  ruins  of  the  fall  ;  when  I  think  of  that 
home,  in  which  all  the  redeemed  of  the  Lord  will  at  last  be 
gathered  together,  my  heart  is  too  full  for  words.  O, 
these  are  themes  which  awaken  overwhelming  emotions. 
Does  it  not  seem,  dear  M.  as  though  you  can  not  rejoice 
enough  over  the  change  which  has  taken  place  in  our 
hearts — that  we  who  were  once  strangers,  are  now  chil- 
dren of  a  Father  infinite  in  every  perfection  that  can  be 
conceived  ?  And  when  we  think  of  our  dear  friends, 
coming  back  one  after  another  from  their  wandt-rings,  and 
received  into  the  kingdom  of  love  and  peace,  have  we  not 
cause  for  the  deepest  joy  ? 

I  am  writing,  dear  JVL,  on  the  very  table  we  used  togeth- 
er so  long,  and  in  the  room  we  called  ours  for  many  a  day. 
Like  a  dream  those  days  passed,  and  still  like  dreams  will 
the  remainder  go,  but  there  is  a  world  where  existence 
10* 


114  ^I^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

will  be  dream-like  no  longer.      There  every  thing  is  real, 
and  for  that  reality  I  long  more  and  more  every  day. 

Friday  evenings  August  27th.  You  see  I  write  jour- 
nal fashion,  according  to  my  usual  plan,  dear  M.,  for  I  can- 
not command  any  length  of  time,  as  I  am  at  present  in 
school.  Miss  B.  needed  a  little  vacation,  and  wished  me 
to  take  her  place  in  the  Seminary  for  a  few  weeks  ;  so  I 
am  installed  teacher  of  eight  classes,  and  though  I  find  i^ 
very  fatiguing  I  like  it  better  than  1  feared  I  should. 

My  time  this  summer  is  passing  most  delightfully.  I 
think  lean  call  it  the  happiest  in  my  life.  Every  day,  I 
have  enjoyed,  as  it  passed.  I  often  ask  myself  why  I  am 
so  happy,  and  I  hope  I  know  the  reason  ;  and  that  it  is 
based  on  a  foundation  which  the  changing  pleasures  of 
this  world  can  not  remove.  I  shrink  from  presumption, 
but  I  feel  that  I  should  be  grateful  for  the  quiet  heart  God 
has  given  me  during  the  past  months  ;  so  that  the  enjoy- 
ments of  life  have  been  gilded  by  a  brightening  radiance, 
and  its  sorrows  robbed  of  their  gloom. 

Were  you  here  this  evening,  by  my  side,  in  this  still 
chamber,  which  has  been  the  scene  of  many  a  long  com- 
muning, in  the  days  that  are  gone,  we  would  talk  of  all  the 
way  through  which  we  have  passed,  and  bless  God  for 
that  guiding  hand  which  has  led  us  on  till  now.  As  we 
go  on  in  life,  how  many  dark  dispensations  are  cleared  up — 
how  often  is  the  veil  lifted  from  many  a  mysterious  and 
trying  providence  !  I  bless  God  that  I  can  trust  Him.  In 
all  His  ways  He  doeth  rightly.  And  in  Heaven  if  not 
here,  we  shall  know  the  reason  for  every  discipline  we 
receive  at  our  Father's  hand. 

When  I  think  of  you,  my  precious  sister,  I  have  such 
yearnings  of  heart  to  see  you,  that  1  can  scarcely  be  satis- 
fied.    O  that  we  might  weep  together  over  your  sorrows, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  115 

and  rejoice  together  over  the  consolations  of  the  precious 
Gospel.  There  is  comfort  there.  O,  M.,  I  know  that  you 
feel  it.  It  is  not  mere  words  when  you  say  that  God 
your  Heavenly  Blather  supports  you.  I  praise  Him  that 
you  know  in  your  own  experience  what  it  is  to  lean  on 
His  Almighty  arm.  No  other  comfort  can  compare  with 
this.  God  only  knows  how  to  support  the  stricken  soul. 
Is  it  not  sweet  to  look  to  Him  as  Father,  Saviour  and 
Sanctifier — to  feel  that  He  is  doing  all  that  infinite  love 
and  wisdom  dictates — to  trust  Him  in  all  His  ways  ? 
That  sweet  word  trusty  yes,  it  tells  all. 

Keep,  dear  M.,  that  same  confiding  spirit  even  to  the 
end,  do  the  will  of  your  Saviour  here  in  this  world,  and 
peace  and  eternal  blessedness  will  be  yours.  There  is 
*  no  wave  of  trouble'  to  roll  over  the  spirit  once  safe  in  its 
home.  Do  you  remember  the  song  we  used  to  sing  called 
the  '  home  of  the  soul  ?'  How  much  more  do  our  hearts 
now  feel  the  sweetness  of  looking  forward  to  such  a  home, 
than  when  we  sang  it  in  those  days  when  we  could  not 
feel  our  need  of  it  ?  It  is  not  till  the  changes  of  life  show 
us  the  emptiness  of  earthly  bliss,  that  we  turn  with  long- 
ing eyes  to  that  v^^orld  where  our  Father  and  our  Saviour 
dwell.  An  Infinite  Being  can  alone  satisfy  our  spirits,  but 
there  we  shall  find  an  overflowing  fountain  of  blessedness. 

You  must  not  wonder,  dear  M.,  that  1  speak  so  much  of 
my  feelings  being  changed.  No  deep  affliction  like  yours 
has  sobered  my  views  of  life,  and  yet  those  views  are  so 
difierent  from  what  they  once  were,  that  1  am  disposed  at 
times  to  doubt  my  personal  identity.  We  are  led  in  differ- 
ent ways  to  place  our  trust  on  what  is  the  only  sure  foun- 
dation ;  and  though  it  be  through  dark  paths,  yet  the  end 
is  bright. 

I  rejoice,  my  precious  sister,  in  the  interest  you  feel  in 
all  that  concerns  the  kingdom  of  our  Saviour  in  this  fallen 


I  5  6  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

world.  We  have  given  ourselves  to  the  cause  of  Zion. 
There  are  our  dearest  interests,  and  though  we  work  indiffer- 
ent parts,  it  is  the  same  vineyard  We  are  beneath  the  care 
of  the  same  leader.  We  are  passing  to  the  same  gathering 
place,  the  gathering  place  of  all  the  redeemed.  1  here  are 
celestial  lands  before  us.  Do  not  the  gleams  from  the 
Heavenly  Temple  come  down  even  now  to  gild  our  path  ? 
Can  not  we  catch  some  strains  from  the  angel  choirs  above 
to  cheer  us  on  our,course  ?  It  is  sweet  to  join  our  inter- 
ests with  the  interests  of  the  church  of  Christ.  Let  us, 
dear  M.,  strive  to  look  more  and  more  avi^ay  from  ourselves, 
that  we  may  feel  and  labor  for  the  many  who  are  perishing 
in  their  sins.  I  want  more  of  the  spirit  of  Christ,  that  I 
may  feel  for  every  being  upon  the  face  of  the  earth.  Are 
we  not  all  brethren  t  Is  not  the  soul  of  each  infinitely  pre- 
cious t  O,  my  friend,  if  our  hearts  are  touched  with  com- 
passion for  the  wanderers  from  their  Father,  let  us  thank 
God,  and  do  all  we  can  to  lead  them  back.  Blessed  be  His 
name  that  we  may  feel  for  them,  and  that  our  poor  labors 
may  receive  a  blessing.  How  sweet  a  privilege  it  is  to 
bear  our  dear  ones  to  the  throne  of  grace,  to  supplicate  for 
them  pardon  and  peace  ?  It  is  such  a  relief  to  pray  for 
them  !  For  we  go  to  a  Saviour  who  feels  for  them  more 
deeply  and  tenderly  than  we  can. 

I  long  to  talk  with  you  of  our  Saviour's  kingdom,  and  to 
pray  with  you  for  its  advancement.  When  shall  it  be  } 
Must  we  wait  till  we  have  cast  aside  our  earthly  taberna- 
cle ere  we  meet  again  ?  It  will  be  sweet,  IVI.,to  join  with 
you  in  the  songs  of  the  redeemed,  but  1  do  earnestly  desire 
to  bend  with  you  once  before  the  mercy  seat,  to  unite  our 
petitions  for  the  perishing  millions  who  know  not  God. 
When  will  the  day  come,  when  the  knowledge  of  the 
Lord  shall  fill  the  whole  earth  ^     When  our  Saviour  shall 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  117 

reign  and  the  whole  earth  be  his  ?     Why  wait  the  days, 
the  days  of  Zion's  glory  ? 

We  all  love  to  think  of  our  precious  M.  Many  send 
love  to  you,  and  my  dear  parents  call  you  their  other 
daughter,  and  now,  my  dear  sister,  I  must  say  farewell  for 
a  little  time.'' 

Journal. 

'*  August  27th.  I  have  much  strength  to  gain  for  my 
new  and  varied  duties,  and  1  long  for  the  quiet  hours  it 
has  been  my  lot  to  enjoy  for  the  past  months.  But  that 
sweet  season  for  growth  in  grace  is  now  broken  in  upon  by 
my  pressing  duties,  and  again  I  am  in  the  busy  world. 
But  I  can  trust  God  still.  1  must  call  to  mind  the  seasons 
I  have  enjoyed,  and  let  their  remembrance  refresh  my 
mind  while  in  the  whirl  of  life. 

When  1  begin  to  think  of  God,  so  many  thoughts  come 
that  1  am  overwhelmed,  and  in  my  prayers  I  know  not 
whether  to  praise  or  to  'petition.  I  have  so  many  bless- 
ingtCrt/seems  as  though  I  must  thank  God  all  the  time,  and 
yet  I  have  need  of  so  many  things  that  I  must  pray  contin- 
ually. I  want  every  shade  of  sin  to  go  away  from  this  vile 
heart.  I  want  every  truth  in  the  precious  Bible  to  exert 
its  proper  influence  over  my  life,  I  want  to  view  every 
thing,  both  in  this  world  and  the  other,  in  its  proper  light. 
It  is  my  one  great  aim  to  bring  my  soul  into  entire  con- 
formity with  God's  holy  will ;  yet  the  duty  of  self  denial  in 
some  things  is  not  as  readily  complied  with  as  I  could 
wish,  and  then  I  can  only  go  to  God  and  pray  for  a  right 
spirit.  O,  it  costs  me  many  a  hard  battle  to  endeavor  to 
bring  my  wicked  heart  right.  But  my  greatest  desire,  and 
for  it  I  am  willing,  to  put  forth  any  effort,  is,  to  be  a  true, 
sincere^  active^  self-denying^  Christian.  It  seems  the 
only  pleasant  and  right  way  of  living.       I  mourn  in  secret 


118  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

over  my  hard,  selfish  heart ;  I  pray  for  forgiveness  through 
Christ,  and  it  does  seem  as  though  my  path  is  easier.  I 
have  some  glimmerings  of  light.  1  have  such  sweet 
thoughts  of  God,  and  of  Christj  and  of  the  Christian's 
course,  that  my  heart  sings  often  with  joy  and  gratitude. 
*  Search  me,  O  God,  and  try  me,  and  see  if  there  be  any 
wicked  way  in  me.'     1  am  afraid  of  self-deception. 

I  am  at  present  engaged  in  teachingMiss  B. 's  classes  \a 
the  Seminary.  It  is  very  difficult,  but  I  pray  for  strength, 
and  it  is  but  for  a  short  time.  May  1  fulfil  every  duty, 
and  do  all  for  God's  glory.  May  I  work  and  pray  for  the 
advancement  of  Christ's  blessed  Kingdom." 

"  September  bth^  Sabbath  nfternoon.  I  am  alone  at 
home,  for  I  am  unable  to  attend  to  all  the  public  duties  of 
this  day.  I  am  once  more  by  my  own  window  where  I 
anticipate  a  quiet  hour  in  thought  of  Heaven  and  of  my 
Saviour.  It  has  bt^en  our  communion  this  morning,  and  we 
have  had  a  beautiful  day  for  its  holy  duties,  but  to  me  it 
has  not  been  all  peace  like  the  last  communion.  That 
was  a  day  more  like  heaven  than  any  thing  1  have  since 
had.  1  have  had  a  weight  on  my  spirit  from  which  it  has 
been  hard  for  me  to  arise.  I  am  poor  and  miserable,  and 
yet  1  have  looked  to  Jesus  and  some  faint  gleams  have 
been  granted  me.  I  will  try  to  trust  and  do  right,  then  all 
will  end  in  peace. 

Since  I  hare  been  in  school,  my  mind  has  been  so  close- 
ly occupied  that  I  could  not  attend  to  my  religious  duties 
as  I  wished  ;  and  themes  on  which  I  once  dwelt  with  de- 
light, have  escaped  too  much  from  my  mind.  This  has 
darkened  my  way.  I  am  so  sinful,  I  need  all  the  help  I 
can  have.  During  the  week  I  have  had  much  excitement, 
and  am  w^orn  out  with  it.  I  am  in  a  strange  state  this 
afternoon  ;  perhaps  I  am  not  well ;  I  do   very  much  need 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  119 

support  from  above.     But  if  I  trust  in  God  he  will  give  me 
strength  to  meet  every  duty. 

This  is  a  sad  account ;  but  I  have  written  down  my  feel- 
ings and  they  are  a  faithful  index  to  my  heart,  sometimes 
peaceful  and  again  mourning  on  account  of  sin.  I  want  to 
keep  this  journal  to  refer  to  in  after  years,  when,  if  I  live, 
I  shall  be  far  from  this  home.  The  events  of  this  summer 
have  been  the  touchstone  to  many  hidden  feelings.  The 
outer  world  has  been  calm  as  usual,  but  in  my  inner  world 
what  a  succession  of  events  and  of  scenes  there  has  been  ! 
O,  my  God,  if  I  might  not  have  looked  to  Thee,  could  I 
have  borne  this  ceaseless  rush !  1  should  have  sunk, 
might  I  not  have  leaned  on  the  Saviour  for  aid. 

*'  September  \2th.  Sabbath  afternoon.  Again  alone 
and  better  prepared,  I  hope,  to  spend  my  hour  than  I  was 
last  Sabbath.  I  now  feel  that  I  was  worn  out  with  ex- 
citement then.  I  needed  to  have  been  quiet  and  trusted 
in  Christ.  Now  all  is  calm  and  sweet.  I  can  only  thank 
God  and  say,  '  here  my  Father,  take  me  and  do  with  me 
as  seemeth  good  in  thy  sight.'  I  want  to  keep  on  in  a 
steady,  ev^en  course  ;  but  there  are  continually  coming  up 
things  which  deeply  excite  me,  and  never  till  I  reach  the 
other  world,  do  1  expect  to  be  free  from  their  influence. 
There  we  shall  be  able  to  bear  all,  but  here  joy  and  sor- 
row wear  away  the  life. 

I  am  at  present  in  school,  and  though  I  love  my  dear 
girls  very  much,  yet  I  find  it  so  fatiguing  I  shall  rejoice 
when  Miss  B  comes  and  1  can  be  released.  There  will 
come  many  duties  for  this  fall  and  winter,  which  will  re- 
quire strength  and  calmness  of  mind,  and  I  must  try  to  keep 
my  heart  quiet. 

The  American  Board  are  now  at  Philadelphia,  delibera- 
ting what  they  can  do  in   the  present  crisis.      May  our 


120  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

churches  be  ready  to  meet  it.  I  pray  for  strength  that  I 
•may  be  ready  to  give  up  my  all.  O,  I  am  very  weak, — I 
need  to  look  to  Chri>t  for  aid  in  every  thing.  But  I  can 
have  a  bold  heart.  I  want  to  have  my  heart  lose  its  hold 
on  earthly  things,  and  look  more  at  Christ's  kingdom. 
I  must  use  diligently  all  the  means  I  have  for  this,  and 
they  are  very  great.  1  am  determined  to  press  on,  that  so 
'  Christ  may  be  formed  in  me  the  hope  of  glory.'  " 

Tuesday  IMi.  The  mists  of  an  autumn  evening  now 
hang  around  the  hills  and  over  the  trees.  The  crickets 
are  chirping  their  songs.  I  love  their  voice.  There  is  a 
lonidint^ss  in  their  notes  agreeing  well  with  these  fading 
days.  These  early  autumn  days  are  to  me  the  most  glo- 
rious of  the  year  There  is  a  hallowed  influence  in  the 
quiet  air,  and  the  vault  of  heaven  wears  just  the  hues 
which  tell  of  a  holier  clime.  It  is  a  time  for  elevating 
thoughts.  1  love  thr'S-  days  more  than  I  can  tell.  I  have 
loved  the  summer  softness  and  the  young  spring's  breath, 
and  I  love  autumn  too.  Oh,  this  fair  earth  so  beautiful 
even  in  its  ruins,  how  many  looks  and  tones  it  has  to  win 
us  up  to  heaven.  Last  year  my  heart  was  sick  at  the 
thought  of  autunui.  The  turning  leaves  made  it  recoil. 
It  was  not  so  once,  but  tJun  it  made  me  melancholy  to  see 
the  trees  fading,  and  the  flowers  dropping  away,  and  to 
hear  the  chill  night  wind  whistling  against  the  casement. 
I  thought  continually  of  Bryant's  words  on  autumn, 

"  The  melancholy  days  are  come,  the  saddest  of  the  year. 

Of  walling  winds  and  naked  woods  and  meadows  brown  and  sere." 

But  I  thank  God,  that  a  year  has  taught  me  better  les- 
sons. How  quickly  this  summer  has  passed  !  Let  me 
see  to  it  that  my  days  are  spent  usefully,  when  they  fly  so 
swiftly^     To-day  1  have  enjoyed,  for  1  am  at  work  on  my 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  121 

own  plans.  My  school  days  are  over,  and  again  I  am 
quiet ;  and  can  command  time  for  my  various  duties  both 
at  home  and  abroad." 

"  Sabbath,  September  19th,  Dr.  Armstrong  of  the  Amer- 
ican Board  is  here.  He  has  come  in  behalf  of  Mis- 
sions, and  though  it  has  been  denied  me  the  privilege  of 
hearing  him  preach,  I  have  prayed  that  his  labors  might 
be  blessed. 

I  have  had  a  dull  day  in  body,  but  1  trust  not  quite  so  in 
mind.  Fatigue  and  excitement  have  made  me  nearly  use- 
less, but  I  hope  1  shall  improve  as  the  cold  weather  re- 
turns. This  morning  I  dozed  about  all  the  time,  have  not 
been  down  at  all  to  meals,  and  dozed  till  after  church  time 
this  afternoon,  but  for  a  little  while  I  have  been  up  and 
read  '  Last  hours  of  Christ,'  and  also  some  interesting 
papers  of  Dr.  Armstrong,  and  I  have  had  sweet  thoughts 
of  Jesus  and  His  faithful  love.  So  great !  It  is  wonderful ! 
and  I  so  poor  and  vile.  The  least  thought  makes  my  eyes 
overflow,  for  I  am  weak.  I  am  happy  and  trusting  to- 
night. When  I  look  in,  all  is  indeed  very  dark  and  sinful, 
but  I  look  away  to  Christ  and  all  is  bright,  and  I  pray  for 
my  precious  ones,  and  for  this  whole  world  that  Jesus  may 
reign." 


11 


CHAPTER    VI 


SICKNESS    AND    RECOVERY. 


^'■Sunday,  Oct.  lO^A.  It  is  just  three  weeks  since  I 
have  written  in  my  journal,  and  I  have  looked  for  the  first 
time  this  afternoon,  upon  my  lovely  hills,  by  my  own  dear 
window.  I  am  writing  in  my  own  chamber,  where  I  have 
passed  through  a  deeply  interesting  and  eventful  season ; 
for  I  have  been  brought  to  the  borders  of  the  grave,  from 
which  it  has  pleased  God  to  raise  me,  so  that  now  I  am  fast 
recovering,  I  have  been  down  stairs  for  a  little  while,  and 
have  touched  again  my  dear  piano.  But  I  am  still  very 
weak,  and  sit  in  my  easy  chair  very  quietly,  reading  some, 
and  sewing  some,  but  thinking  most  of  the  time.  And  O, 
I  thank  God  for  the  sweet  thoughts  he  grants  me. 

I  can  look  back  on  the  whole  scene,  and  view  it  only  in 
the  light  of  a  blessing.  I  had  very  little  suffering,  princi- 
pally weakness  ;  but  I  was  so  ill,  that  my  parents  gave  up 
all  hope,  and  my  physicians  felt  there  was  scarcely  a  chance 
for  my  recovery.  And  yet,  through  the  whole,  my  mind 
was  clear.  I  knew  all  which  was  going  on  around  me, 
felt  my  danger,  and  thought  that  I  should  die.  It  pleased 
God  to  give  me  great  calmness,  without  which  it  would 
have  been  impossible  for  my  disease  to  have  been  check- 
ed ;  for  excitement  was  the  thing  most  feared.     1  left  the 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  123 

event  entirely  in  my  Saviour's  hand.  I  trusted  all  to  him, 
and  knew  that  if  it  was  his  will,  I  should  recover ;  if  not, 
I  trusted  he  would  not  leave  me  at  the  last.  It  is  a  mira- 
cle that  I  am  spared.  I  am  filled  with  wonder  !  I  can 
only  say,  ^  Lord,  this  life  I  devote  all  to  thee.' 

In  this  room  I  have  passed,  and  am  passing,  some  most 
delightful  days.  I  cannot  think  of  the  kindness  of  all  my 
friends,  without  the  greatest  wonder.  It  makes  me  very 
humble.  I  have  had  one  overflowing  stream  of  blessings, 
ever  since  the  commencement  of  my  illness.  All  my  wants 
have  been  anticipated.  The  kindest  friends  have  been 
around  my  bed  side — the  best  care  has  been  taken  of  me. 
Every  thing  that  love  could  devise,  has  been  done.  My 
dear  Mrs.  Fitch  came  all  the  way  from  New  Haven,  and 
took  care  of  me  a  night  and  a  day.  O,  my  cup  has  been 
full  of  blessings  !  The  loveliest  flowers  have  bloomed  on 
my  table,  and  the  choicest  fruits,  since  I  began  to  recover, 
have  been  before  me.     But  this  is  not  the  half. 

It  has  pleased  my  Heavenly  Father  to  give  me  a  more 
happy  and  peaceful  spirit,  than  I  have  ever  before  enjoyed. 
I  have  the  sweetest  verses  and  hymns  in  my  memory,  and 
my  communings  on  m}^  bed,  have  been  most  precious. 
The  dark  valley  of  death,  looks  not  near  so  dark,  since  I 
have  been  so  near  it,  and  heaven  seems  near  all  the  time. 

I  have  yet  many  sins  over  which  to  mourn,  but  it  seems 
as  though  my  Saviour  permits  me  to  lay  my  head  on  his 
bosom,  and  weep  over  them  there,  and  supplicate  grace 
and  pardon  for  myself  and  all  my  dear  friends.  I  love  my 
friends  and  every  body,  and  every  thing,  ten  tliousand  times 
more  than  I  did  before.  The  sun  never  shone  so  brightly^ 
nor  the  moon  so  peacefully  ;  and  yet  I  love  God,  and  Jesus, 
and  heaven,  as  much  better.  The  Bible  never  seemed  half 
so  precious.  I  can  only  look  to  God,  and  pray  him  to  keep 
me  close  under  the  shadow  of  his  wing,  since  it  seems  his 


124  MRS.  ISFARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

will  I  should  live  a  little  longer  here.  I  think  this  is  one 
of  the  lessons  I  needed  to  learn  before  entering  on  my  labors 
in  adistant  land.  Of  these  I  think  much.  And  I  have  sweet 
thoughts  of  my  absent  friend.  I  thought  of  him  when  I 
supposed  myself  dying,  and  did  wish  to  see  him  ;  but  I 
can  trust  that  all  to  my  Father's  care  and  keeping." 

*^  Sabbath  afternoon,  Oct.  17th.  I  have  been  longing  , 
to  go  again  to  church.  This  is  my  fifth  Sabbath  at  home  ; 
yet  I  have  enjoyed  my  Sabbaths  at  home  very  much.  To- 
day has  been  uncommonly  beautiful.  The  late  frosts  have 
turned  the  leaves  golden  and  brown.  I  sat  down  in  the 
parlor  after  the  people  had  gone  to  church,  and  with  the 
sweet  sunshine  looking  down  through  the  fading  foliage,  I 
committed  the  fifteenth  Chapter  of  John.  I  had  some  sweet 
thoughts  then.  I  do  think  I  thirst  for  the  streams  of  holi- 
ness. I  fear  to  mingle  again  with  the  world,  for  my  heart 
will  not  be  so  quiet,  when  its  hum  is  in  my  ear.  O,  my 
God,  never  let  me  stray,  but  make  me  abide  always  under 
the  shadow  of  thy  wing.  O,  my  Saviour,  preserve  me 
against  the  first  approach  of  worldliness.  I  want  to  think 
more  of  my  missionary  labors,  and  cultivate  such  a  spirit,^ 
as  will  best  prepare  me  for  future  usefulness. 

And  now,  I  commit  my  soul  into  the  hands  of  my  Sav- 
iour. I  do  wish  to  devote  myself  and  my  all  to  his  service. 
Poor  and  unworthy  as  I  am,  I  do  love  and  trust  him. 

I  am  still  unable  to  2;o  out,  but  I  sit  in  my  room,  doing 
various  little  things  ;  resuming  my  duties  as  my  strength 
will  allow,  and  thanking  God  for  renewing  my  life  so  rap- 
idly. I  do  bless  my  Father  in  Heaven,  for  the  precious 
hours  I  have  had  during  the  past  week." 

*'  Sunday  evening,  Oct.  24th-  I  hope  my  day  at  home 
has  been  profitable.     Last  evening  had  a  sweet  season  of 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  125 

preparation,  and  then  a  refreshing  sleep  prepared  me  for 
the  day's  duties.  Have  thought  much  to-day  of  Jesus' 
dying  love,  and  have  prayed  over  my  ingratitude.  I  have 
not  the  joyful  frame  I  sometimes  have  had  ;  but  I  am  satis- 
fied if  I  can  lay  this  poor  aching,  sinful  heart  at  the  feet  of 
Jesus,  and  know  that  he  will  pardon  my  ingratitude.  I 
can  trust  him.  I  do  believe  on  him.  I  do  love  him.  I  do 
devote  my  life  to  his  blessed  service.  May  he  give  me 
strength  to  overcome  every  sinful  desire,  to  renounce  every 
selfish  interest. 

1  have  had  many  delightful  seasons  alone  this  week,  but 
last  night  when  I  reviewed  it,  I  was  startled  to  find  I  had 
been  so  remiss  in  duty.  It  is  of  his  mercy  that  I  am  not  con- 
sumed. A  year  since,  if  I  had  passed  such  a  week,  I  should 
have  thought  myself  well  off,  and  should  have  praised  God 
for  it.  But  now,  though  I  do  thank  God  for  the  little  light 
I  have,  I  find  so  much  darkness  and  corruption  w^ithin, 
that  I  can  only  say,  '  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner.'  I 
long  to  be  free  from  this  bondage  of  sin;  but  there  is  con- 
tention in  my  heart,  and  evil  wars  with  the  good.  In  the 
midst  of  all  I  pray  to  Jesus,  and  there  is  my  comfort. 
Sometimes  I  think  my  selfishness  is  breaking  up,  and  again 
some  new  display,  damps  my  hope.  But  I  will  go  on,  and 
my  weakness  will  be  made  strength  through  Christ.  Let 
me  remember  all  who  have  struggled,  and  yet  have  been 
borne  safely  through.  Let  me  remember  all  that  Christ 
has  done  for  me — all  that  he  will  do.  I  can  lift  up  my 
heart  and  take  courage. 

My  Sabbath-school  class  came  to  see  me  on  Wednesday. 
Had  a  precious  season  with  them.  O,  may  they  all  be 
lambs  of  the  fold.  M.  W.  left  on  Thursday,  and  I  am 
indeed  lonely.  I  pray  God  my  true  comfort  may  be  found 
in  doing  his  will ;  then  I  can  look  forward  to  heaven  as  the 
place  where  friendship  may  be  perfected.  Dr.  Parker, 
11* 


126  MI^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

from  China,  was  here  on  Friday.  I  was  overwhelmed 
with  the  welcome  and  benediction  he  gave  me — a  welcome 
into  the  missionary  field,  and  a  blessing  on  my  labor.  I 
was  ready  to  sink,  and  could  only  pray  I  might  be  worthy 
to  receive  such  high  honor." 

*'  Thursday,  Oct,  2St7i.  Yesterday  I  rode  for  the  first 
time.  The  leaves  are  fast  faUing,  the  sky  wears  its  smoky 
hue — it  is  our  Indian  summer.  While  riding,  I  thanked 
God  that  I  breathed  in  the  open  air  once  more.  These 
autumn  days,  to  which  I  looked  forward,  I  have  not  been 
able  to  enjoy  in  the  open  air,  but  I  have  watched  from  my 
window  the  fading  leaves,  and  the  lovely  autumn  sky, 
which  seems  to  shed  a  radiance  so  like  heavenly  light. 

I  watched  for  the  evening  star  at  twilight,  and  saw  it 
for  the  first  time  this  fall.  Its  gentle  light  brought  thoughts 
of  other  days.  How  I  watched  that  star  last  winter  !  My 
first  twilight  musings  were,  when  it  was  looking  down 
upon  me,  and  seeming  to  woo  my  perplexed  and  troubled 
heart  to  Him  who  is  the  comfort  and  guide  of  all.  I  bless 
its  light  again.  It  brings  hours  of  peace  to  my  mind — 
hours  I  shall  ever  bless  God  for.  I  love  to  dwell  on  the 
scenes  of  last  winter.  Many  a  struggle  Ihave  had  since 
then,j3ut  it  does  seem,  that  since  that  time  my  course  has 
been  onward." 

''  Sabbathj  October  Slst.  This  morning  had  many  pre- 
cious thoughts,  aud  wrote  down  a  short  account  of  the  re- 
vival last  winter,  besides  reading  a  portion  in  Doddridge. 
This  afternoon,  spent  the  time  in  prayer,  and  reading  in 
the  Bible — some  portions  of  Isaiah,  and  also  the  last  chap- 
ters of  John.  Learned  the  twelfth  of  Isaiah,  a  beautiful 
chapter.  I  have  committed  recently,  the  14th,  15th  and 
16th  chapters  of  John,  and  like  to  fix  these  interesting  por- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  127 

tions  of  scripture  in  my  memory.  I  have  been  free  from 
distracting  thoughts  of  any  kind  to-day.  I  am  thankful 
for  the  precious  season. 

We  are  enjoying  some  of  the  loveliest  days  I  have  ever 
known  in  autumn.  While  looking  abroad,  the  past,  with 
all  its  deeply  interesting  events,  comes  into  my  mind,  and 
fills  it  with  strange  emotions,  which  I  cannot  describe.  It 
is  not  pain  nor  pleasure.  It  is  the  spirit  of  the  long  gone 
years,  and  whether  to  let  it  come  or  not,  I  do  not  know. 
O,  my  Saviour,  do  thou  purify  all  my  feelings,  that  my 
soul  may  be  a  fit  temple  for  the  indwelling  of  the  Holy 
Spirit.  I  do  earnestly  desire,  that  every  thing  1  feel  and 
do,  may  prepare  me  for  usefulness  in  the  cause  of  him  who 
has  loved  me  and  given  himself  for  me.  And  while  I 
remain  in  this  dear  country,  may  I  so  live,  that  I  shall  be 
satisfied  in  reflecting  on  my  course  from  a  distant  land. 
Jesus,  I  give  my  ail  to  thee.     May  I  make  thee,  alV^ 

To  M.  S.,*  on  her  birth  day. 

Nov.  1st,  1841. 
"  I  could  rejoice  with  you,  dear  M.,  and  have  been 
happy  all  day,  that  your  year  is  opening  so  beautifully. 
The  skies  are  smiling  upon  your  birth-day,  and  may  they 
be  the  emblem  of  a  brighter  sunshine  which  shall  gild  your 
future  years,  until  the  light  of  Heaven's  own  radiance  shall 
burst  upon  you.  Have  we  not  much  to  bless  our  Father 
for  }  Oh,  he  is  indeed  crowning  our  life  with  goodness. 
And  this  day,  dear  M.,  the  one  of  all  days  to  you,  is  a 
lovely  one  in  which  to  recall  the  past,  and  look  towards 
the  dim  future  ;  dim  indeed  so  far  as  the  events  of  this  life 
are  concerned.     M.,  our  childhood  has  passed  like  a  dream. 


*  One  of  her  earliest  and  dearest  friends. 


'128  M^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

It  seems  but  yesterday,  since  you  and  I  were  playing  to- 
gether with  our  dolls  ;  but  our  dolls  died  long  ago.  Those 
days  at  the  Seminary  are  more  real,  and  it  makes  my  heart 
thrill,  when  any  little  thing  calls  them  back.  Three  years 
have  wrought  marvellous  changes  ;  and  our  spirits  have 
been  growing  older,  and  already  we  are  knowing  what  it 
is  to  live  and  act  in  life's  drama.  Oh  M.,  M.,  must  there 
be  this  ceaseless  change  !  forever  passing  on  in  the  current 
of  time,  must  we  go  on  leaving  loved  scenes,  and  treasured 
events,  far,  far  behind,  with  memory's  picture  continually 
increasing.  Well,  let  it  go  on,  for  there  will  come  an 
end,  and  we  shall  pass  to  another  world,  more  real  and 
enduring. 

The  past  will  speak  to-day,  dear  M.,  and  I  know  you 
too  are  listening  to  its  voices,  and  these  fading  leaves  be- 
neath so  glorious  an  autumn  sky,  are  well  in  keeping  with 
the  spirit  of  by-gone  years.  Qh,  surely  it  is  well  to  cast 
some  glances  behind,  while  we  are  hurrying  on,  even 
though  the  retrospect  may  bring  a  shadow  over  us ;  for  the 
past  has  lessons  we  may  not  forget,  and  its  tones  are  tones 
of  wisdom,  if  we  will  but  listen  to  them. 

I  would  that  we  could  spend  this  day  together,  and  live 
over  our  early  years  once  more  ;  that  we  could  together 
bless  God  for  the  past,  and  cast  ourselves  and  all  our  inter- 
ests, on  him  who  has  thus  far  guided  us.  Let  us  give  to 
him  our  future  years,  and  then  indeed  will  they  pass 
brightly  and  calmly.  Our  careless  days  have  all  gone  by  ; 
now  we  are  beginning  to  think  and  feel  for  ourselves. 
Already  have  our  charactars  taken  the  stamp,  which  in  all 
probability  they  will  bear  through  life,  and  through  eter- 
nity. Oh,  it  is  a  fearful,  an  overwhelming  thought,  and 
yet  not  more  fearful  than  true.  We  may  change  in  minor 
points,  M.,  yet  1  think  the  future  will  alter  but  little  the 
outline  of  our  characters.    Perhaps  it  may  not  be  so.    And 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  129 


I  would  that  time  might  bring  something  beside  maturity 
to  mine.  There  is  one  thing  in  which  we  may  hope  to  be 
continually  changing — the  conquest  over  corrupt  affections 
and  earthly  desires  must  go  on.  With  us,  dear  M.,  I  could 
humbly  hope  and  believe,  that  it  is  already  commenced, 
and  that  a  Father's  blessing  even  now  is  resting  on  our 
efforts,  and  a  Saviour's  hand,  leading  on  in  the  way.  Even 
now,  my  dear  friend,  we  can  raise  the  song  of  gratitude, 
<  Unto  him  who  hath  loved  us,  and  given  himself  for  us  ;' 
and  the  past  can  furnish  material  enough  for  a  hymn  of 
praise  to-day.  We  raise  it  unto  that  God  who  called  us 
in  our  wanderings,  who  remembered  us  in  our  youthful 
days,  and  led  our  feet  into  the  path  of  life.  We  look  back 
and  rejoice  in  all  the  goodness  which  has  crowned  our 
years,  and  forward  with  unshrinking  hearts,  to  the  untried 
future,  for  our  God  is  with  us.  Oh,  M.,  let  us  ever  trust. 
My  heart  has  been  with  you  all  day,  and  I  meant  to 
have  written  a  birth-day  note,  but  I  see  I  must  send  only 
an  apology  for  one,  and  yet  if  it  tells  you  that  I  love  you, 
both  for  the  years  of  friendship  which  have  passed,  and  for 
those  which  I  trust  are  yet  before  us,  and  if  you  make  out 
from  it  that  my  earnest  wishes  are  for  your  increasing  hap- 
piness, it  will  have  accomplished  in  part  its  object.  Oh, 
many  an  autumn  will  bring  its  glorious  hues  and  fading 
days,  and  when  with  them  comes  also  your  birth-day,  and 
the  many  thoughts  it  brings,  think,  dear  M.,  of  one  early 
friend,  who  will  always  pray  for  a  blessing  upon  each  cher- 
ished companion  of  her  youth. 

Ever  yours,  M." 

Journal. 

^^  Nov- 2d.     Took  a  French  lesson   to-day.     A  gift  of 
mignonette  from  my  teacher,  is  filling  my  room  with  its 


130  MliS.  RIAUY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

fragrance.  Yesterday  took  a  lovely  ride.  Oh,  so  beauti- 
ful was  every  thing.  It  was  M.  S.'s  birth-day.  Wrote 
her  a  note,  and  thought  much  of  early  days.  We  are 
growing  old  fast.  Well,  let  the  years  pass,  if  we  are  in 
the  way  of  duty." 

''''  Nov.  (Sth.  The  blessed  Sabbath  approaches,  and  I 
am  expecting  to  attend  the  service  to-morrow,  and  come 
around  the  table  of  our  Lord,  which  is  to  be  spread.  What 
a  two  months  this  has  been  !  I  have  an  overflowing  cup  of 
mercy — brought  down  to  the  borders  of  the  grave,  and  now 
raised  again  to  life  and  health.  May  this  life,  so  wonder- 
fully spared,  be  all  devoted  to  that  Saviour,  who  has  died 
for  me. 

I  have  enjoyed,  during  the  last  two  months,  many  pre- 
cious seasons  of  prayer,  and  have  read  the  Bible  with  more 
interest  than  ever  before,  and  I  hope  I  have  improved  in  a 
calm  and  trusting  heart.  The  voice  of  the  world  has  been 
in  a  measure  hushed  here  in  my  quiet  room.  But  alas  I 
my  heart  is  still  weak,  and  now  that  I  am  no  more  alone, 
I  find  that  sin  is  still  thriving,  and  I  must  watch  and  pray 
all  the  time.  O,  this  spirit  of  worldliness,  how  I  long  to 
sweep  it  'from  my  soul.  Where  should  I  hide  my  guilty 
head,  if  not  at  the  foot  of  the  cross. 

I  have  not  been  to  church  since  the  Sunday  after  my  last 
communion.  And  now,  my  Father,  and  my  Saviour,  wilt 
thou  pardon  all  that  has  offended  and  grieved  thee,  during 
the  intervening  days,  from  my  last  communion  season. 
My  heart  rises  in  thanks  for  thy  ten  thousand  mercies. 
May  I  hide  myself  in  the  dust,  and  give  all  the  honor  to 
that  Saviour  who  has  loved  me,  and  died  for  me — to  whom 
I  surrender  my  all  for  time  and  for  eternity,  and  consecrate 
myself  anew  to  his  blessed  service. 

And  now  may  the  blessing  of  God  rest  upon  all  who  will 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  131 

come  around  the  table  of  the  Lord  to-morrow.  May  it  be 
a  day  long  to  be  remembered,  and  in  its  strength  may  we 
go  many  days." 

"  Sabbath  afternoon,  Nov.  7th.  I  have  indeed  enjoyed 
the  precious  privilege  to  which  I  looked  earnestly  forward. 
Again  I  have  entered  that  dear  church,  and  partaken 
of  the  emblems  of  our  Saviour's  dying  love,  and  have 
had  refreshing  thoughts  of  God,  and  of  Jesus.  O,  I 
could  utter  songs  of  praise  for  the  sweet  peace  of  this 
day.  I  spent  an  hour  of  preparation  in  my  room,  and 
went  early  with  my  dear  mother  to  church.  How  delight- 
ful it  was  to  go  again  to  the  house  of  God.  I  do  know 
that  it  is  a  precious  place.  My  dear  father's  prayer  was 
indeed  elevating,  and  my  thanksgivings  went  up  with  his, 
for  my  being  permitted  to  enter  the  holy  courts  again. 
The  sermon  was  from  the  text,  '  Unto  you  who  believe  he 
is  precious.'  I  did  feel  comforted  by  the  train  of  thought, 
and  my  two  favorite  tunes  were  sung  in  the  morning;  and 
then  at  the  communion  season,  my  mind  was  cahn  and 
happy.  There  I  renewed  my  resolution  of  trusting  in 
Jesus,  and  keeping  a  quiet  heart ;  and  thanked  him  for  the 
calmness  I  have  for  the  past  two  months  enjoyed.  I  re- 
newed my  resolution  of  praying  for  four  dear  friends,  for 
whom  I  feel  much  anxiety.  May  I  persevere  in  prayer, 
and  never  faint.  And  lastly,  I  resolved  to  turn  my  atten- 
tion more  particularly  to  my  future  labors,  and  to  try 
every  day  to  learn  something  which  will  be  of  use  to  me 
in  a  foreign  land. 

And  now  may  Jesus  accept  these  resolutions  ;  and  give 
me  grace  to  keep  them,  even  to  the  end — and  whether  liv- 
ing or  dying,  may  I  be  the  Lord's. — Amen.'^ 

"  Four  o'clock.     What  a  day  this  has  been.     This  after- 


132  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

noon,  my  dear  father  preached  to  the  children.  I  could 
not  go  twice,  though  I  wished  it  very  much.  So  as  soon 
as  all  were  gone,  I  came  to  the  study  window,  and  looked 
off  on  the  charming  hills,  so  beautiful,  so  calm  in  autumn 
sunshine  !  And  then  the  sky  so  clear,  and  of  so  soft  a  blue  ; 
it  led  my  heart  in  gratitude  to  heaven.  '  O,  religion  is  a 
reality,'  I  said,  as  I  looked  on  the  calm  Sabbath  scene  be- 
fore me,  ^  Jesus  does  live  and  reign,  and  heaven  is  the  home 
of  the  Christian.'  And  I  have  prayed,  and  rejoiced,  and 
read  my  bible  here  by  this  window,  with  no  sound  to  break 
on  the  stillness.  I  have  been  reading  in  the  Prophets  of 
the  future  glory  of  Zion,  and  I  have  longed  to  burst  the 
bonds  of  sin,  and  to  be  perfectly  holy.  Unto  thee,  O  my 
Saviour,  I  turn.  Hear  my  humble  prayer.  May  I  give 
my  all  to  thee,  and  never  turn  away  from  thee  who  art  my 
best  beloved  friend,  my  hope,  my  trust,  my  all.  I  want 
nothing  else  but  to  abide  forever  tinder  the  shadow  of  thy 


NeiD  HaveJif  Nov.  11. 

*'  Thursday  evening.  I  am  enjoying  a  quiet,  delightful 
visit  here.  Every  thing  is  lovely  ;  music  and  fragrant 
flowers,  and  in  an  adjoining  portico,  a  sweet  canary  is  pour- 
ing forth  its  melodies — and  books,  and  above  all  the  society 
of  one,  whose  judgment,  and  taste,  and  Christian  principle, 
m.ake  her  friendship  invaluable.  I  feel  the  blessing.  May 
God  give  me  grace  to  improve  it.  Already  I  have  many 
valuable  hints  from  her,  with  reference  to  my  future  labors. 
There  are  many  questions  of  duty  constantly  occurring  to 
my  mind.  Of  one  thing,  however,  I  am  certain.  What- 
ever tends  to  perfect  character,  I  must  attend  to.  My 
great  duty  is  to  prepare  for  the  other  world,  my  own  soul, 
and  the  souls  of  those  over  whom  I  have  influence. 

My  motives  must  be  drawn  from  God's  glory,  and  Jesus' 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  133 

love.  Oh,  these  are  all-powerful.  Vanity  and  selfish- 
ness, my  two  great  sins,  I  must  try  hard  to  overcome. 
Watchfulness  is  what  I  need  very  much,  and  I  try  to  culti- 
vate it;  and  a  tender  and  enlightened  conscience  will  be 
my  greatest  blessing,  for  then  I  shall  not  be  led  into  any 
wrong  course.  And  now  may  God  bless  all  m}?-  efforts 
throughout  this  day." 

"  Saturday  evening,  Nov.  13th.  Last  week,  at  this 
time,  I  was  at  home,  and  passed  a  sweet  evening.  May 
this  be  equally  pleasant  and  profitable.  This  week  has 
passed  very  pleasantly,  more  quietly  even  than  at  home. 
I  can  thank  God  for  the  happy  state  of  mind  I  have  en- 
joyed. The  holy  communion  has  remained  in  my  memory 
with  a  sanctifying  influence,  and  my  Heavenly  Father  has 
seemed  nearer  to  me  than  at  some  times. 

I  have  this  week  learned  many  valuable  things  about 
my  future  course  ;  and  I  hope  to  improve  on  the  hints  I 
get  from  my  dear  Mrs.  Fitch.  Her  views  of  duty,  and  of 
this  world,  are  so  enlarged,  consistent  and  reasonable,  that 
I  am  disposed  to  lean  favorably  to  them.  Yet  I  want  to 
bring  all  to  the  test,  and  I  need  to  examine,  before  I  adopt 
views,  which  at  this  time  may  affect  my  whole  future 
course.  I  trust  in  God,  that  he  will  lead  me  in  just  the 
right  way.     There,  a  learner  at  his  feet,  I  am  safe." 

'•''Monday,  Nov.  15th.  I  have  been  watching  the  bold 
front  of  West  Rock,  on  which  the  sunlight  streamed.  This 
lovely  city  of  elms,  and  its  two  sentinel  rocks,  and  the 
broad  bay  stretching  at  their  feet — can  I  ever  cease  to 
remember  them,  or  think  of  them,  without  a  thrill  of  emo- 
tion }  I  have  spent  so  many  happy  hours  here,  that  it 
seems  like  one  of  my  homes  ;  each  spot  is  familiar,  and  its 
nearness  to  the  sea  makes  it  doubly  dear.  How  favored 
12 


134  MK^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

has  my  life  been — full  of  mercies — may  I  improve  all  to 
God's  glory." 

'-*  Sunday  evening,  Nov,  2\st.  I  have  had  some  sweet 
seasons  of  prayer  to  day,  and  have  got  many  interesting 
ideas  from  dear  Dr.  and  Mrs.  Fitch.  Here,  in  this  dear 
family,  some  of  my  happiest  hours  have  been  spent.  May 
God  reward  them  for  all  the  kindness  they  have  shown  me. 
My  heart  twines  around  these  dear  friends,  and  the  thought 
of  parting  with  them,  would  be  insupportable,  if  I  did  not 
hope  to  meet  them  in  another  world." 

"  Nov.  23d.  Here  I  am  once  more,  writing  my  fare- 
well to  this  lovely  place,  and  to-morrow  evening  will  not 
find  me  here.  Farewell  to  the  sweet  flowers,  and  the  good 
old  piano,  and  the  table  where  I  have  sat  many  an  hour, 
and  the  quiet  sunlight  scenes,  and  the  window  seat,  and  the 
noble  West  Rock.  I  lov^e  them  all.  My  most  light- 
hearted  and  careless  days  have  been  spent  here,  and  more 
thoughtful  ones  too.  Here  I  have  learned  many  things  to 
remember,  when  my  spirit  has  grown  old.^' 

Hartford,  Dec.  2d,   1841. 

**  Thursday  morning,  I  am  spending  a  day  in  my  room, 
which  1  have  long  wished  for ; — a  day  in  which  to  look 
over  my  future  course,  and  endeavor  to  adopt  those  prin- 
ciples upon  which  I  can  safely  act  in  after  life.  This  is  a 
deeply  responsible  act,  and  I  tremble  when  I  think  how 
much  is  pending  upon  the  conclusions  I  now  come  to. 

May  God  direct  in  the  plan  which  I  now  write  down, 
and  may  it  be  formed  with  his  blessing,  that  so  I  may  in 
peace  carry  it  into  my  daily  life,  and  reflect  upon  it  with 
pleasure  when  I  shall  view  this  life  in  the  light  of  eternity. 

God  has  placed  nie  in  this  world  to  glorify  him,  by  pre- 
paring my  own  soul  for  his  kingdom,  and  by  doing  all  I 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  135 

can  to  lead  others  to  do  so.  He  is  sparing  me  in  this  world, 
that  my  character  may  be  formed  into  a  likeness  to  his  own 
perfect  character  ,  that  I  may  continually  increase  in  holi- 
ness, and  receive  those  blessings  for  which  the  Saviour 
died.  All  that  I  have  belongs  to  God.  My  time,  the 
mind  he  has  given  me,  my  desires  and  aifections,  all  are 
his  ; — his  by  creation,  and  by  the  covenant  of  Redemption. 
And  may  I  ever  act  as  if  I  fully  believed  these  great  truths. 
God  has  so  constituted  us,  that  we  cannot  live  without 
exerting  an  influence  on  those  around  us ;  and  in  forming 
our  plans  for  life,  we  are  to  remember  that  we  are  respon- 
sible for  the  effect  which  our  conduct  will  have  upon 
others,  and  we  are  to  form  such  habits,  and  act  on  such 
principles,  as  will  best  promote  the  welfare  of  those  over 
whom  we  have  influence.  God  is  calling  me  to  a  deeply 
responsible  work — that  of  glorifying  him  among  those  who 
know  him  not.  I  need  therefore  a  double  portion  of  wis- 
dom, to  know  how  to  do  God's  will,  and  what  preparation 
to  make  in  order  to  fulfill  the  duties  which  will  fall  upon 
me.  I  will  not  be  undecided,  but  trusting  in  God,  I  will 
be  settled  and  firm  in  the  course  I  am  to  pursue.  I  know 
that  God  will  direct  my  steps,  and  though  my  earthly 
friends  may  not  be  able  to  lead  me,  there  is  One  who 
knows  what  is  right,  and  who  will  direct  my  steps  in  that 
path  which  will  secure  the  greatest  good.  I  trust  in  God. 
I  look  to  him  to  teach  me  how  I  shall  best  promote  the 
cause  of  Christ  in  my  own  heart,  and  in  the  hearts  of  oth- 
ers. May  God  give  me  grace  so  to  use  all  the  powers  I 
have,  that  his  will  may  be  accomplished  concerning  me, 
and  the  kingdom  of  our  Saviour  advanced,  even  though  it 
be  in  a  small  degree  only. 

1.  My  motive  in  all  that  I  do,  must  be  the  love  of  God 
and  Jesus  ;  and  my  object^  the  glory  of  God,  and  the  ad- 
vancement of  Christ's  cause  in  this  world. 


136  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

2.  In  order  to  glorify  my  Father  in  Heaven,  I  must  give 
all  the  faculties  of  my  mind,  and  the  powers  of  my  body, 
their  proper  uses — neglecting  none  of  them,  and  using 
none  to  excess. 

3.  I  must  take  all  proper  means  for  the  preservation  of 
my  health  ;  such  as  keeping  regular  hours  for  sleep,  exer- 
cise, &c. 

4.  In  intercourse  with  others,  I  must  recommend  reli- 
gion by  all  suitable  means  ; — a  cheerful  and  gentle  deport- 
ment. 

5.  I  must  place  self  very  low,  and  put  God  on  the 
throne  ;  for  only  in  this  way  will  my  plans  succeed  ; — alter- 
ed Feb.  21st,  1843. 

5.  I  desire  to  put  self  entirely  doivn,  and  God  only  on 
the  throne  of  my  heart. 

6.  In  all  doubtful  cases  of  duty,  I  must  consider  the  sub- 
ject with  prayer,  and  when  once  decided,  go  on  without 
wavering. 

7.  1  must  keep  a  quiet  mind  in  every  duty.  Trust 
must  be  my  watchword.  In  the  midst  of  all  duties,  labors 
or  trials,  let  a  quiet  mind  be  carried. 

8.  An  observing  eye  must  be  mine  upon  all  which  is 
around  me,  ready  to  engage  in  any  work  for  God  ;  and  a 
listening  ear  also,  to  learn  whatever  I  can. 

9.  Sympathy  with  the  whole  human  race  I  must  have, 
in  order  to  do  them  good.  I  must  not  arouse  their  preju- 
dices, but  win  them  to  God,  in  the  gentlest  way,  which 
my  conscience  will  permit. 

10.  In  pursuing  any  course  of  conduct,  which  I  believe 
right  in  the  sight  of  God,  I  must  not  be  turned  from  it  by 
others'  opinions,  unless  clearly  shown  that  I  am  mis- 
taken." 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  137 

To  C.  C. 

Dec.  20,  1841. 
*'  Do  you  believe,  my  dear  C,  that  it  is  just  a  fortnight 
to-day,  since  that  good  snow  storm  which  gave  me  you 
company  ?  And  so  it  is  only  six  weeks  before  your  school 
closes.  But  I  must  not  look  forward.  How  long  it  takes 
us  to  learn  that  living  in  the  present^  is  the  only  wise 
course,  so  long  as  we  are  dwellers  in  clay. 

We  are  reading,  that  is,   M.  S.,   mother   and  myself, 
every  morning  for  the  present,  '  Schlegel's  History  of  Lit- 
erature,' and  find  it  very  improving.    Indeed  we  make  quite 
a  study  of  it,  and  it  gives  me  a  great  deal  of  satisfaction  to 
be  so  thorouo;h  in  a  work  so  valuable  as  this.    I  have  '  Mrs. 
Smith's  Life,'  to  read,  and  an  essay  on  '  Living  for  Immor- 
tality,' by  Foster  ;  besides  several  little  books  which  I  am 
despatching  as  fast  as  possible.     Then  we  have  commen- 
ced French,  and  I  am  more  interested  than  ever.     Fitting 
doll's  clothes,  and  patch  work  for  the  society,  and  making 
calls,  fill  up  the  fragments  of  time.     Here  I  have  given  you 
a  list  of  my  occupations.     My  time  nev^er  passed  so  pleas- 
antly, so  free  from  care,   as  it  does  now  ;  and  I  feel  these 
are  golden  moments  which  I  must  improve.     I  have  made 
it  a  rule  to  see  some  of  my  friends  every  day,  and  gener- 
ally spend  a  portion  of  the  afternoon  in  calling.     It  is  very 
delightful  to  mingle  once  more  with  my  dear  friends,  and 
to  enjoy  their  society.     My  father  wishes  to  have  me  in 
society  as  much  as  possible.     As  there  was  no  service,  I 
spent  the  last  evening  with  him,  and  he  gave  me  many  a 
good  hint  about  my  duties,   &c.     I  find  that  he  observes 
little  things  much   more  than  I  thought  he  did.     His  not 
speaking  often  of  them,  has  deceived  me.     But  I  believe 
now,  that  he  is  a  careful  observer  of  habits  and  manners. 
Shall  I  make  any  apology  for  such  a  note  of  egotism  ? 
12* 


138  ^^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


I  will  not,  because  I  think  you  wish  to  know  what  I  am 
doing  during  our  separation.  And  I  expect  just  the  same 
of  you.  Remember,  dear  C,  all  you  see  and  hear,  and 
tell  me  when  you  come.  I  want  to  know  if  you  have  for- 
gotten our  promise  about  drawing  a  sketch  for  one  another. 
I  have  thought  of  it  many  times,  and  once  had  my  view 
selected.  The  little  bag,  which  I  tried  so  hard  to  finish, 
I  send  now,  and  hope  you  will  carry  it  for  my  sake.  I 
have  made  a  little  silk  case,  lined  and  wadded,  for  your 
sweet  testament  to  live  in,  and  another  for  M.  W.'s  bible. 
Did  you  have  a  pleasant  Sabbath  yesterday,  dear  C.  ^  I  had 
a  very  refreshing  one,  but  a  part  of  it  was  spent  at  home  ; 
for  my  Sabbath-school  services  are  very  wearing,  and  yet 
so  interesting,  I  cannot  think  of  giving  them  up." 

Journal. 

*'  Dec,  2lst.  The  return  of  this  season,  reminds  me 
forcibly  of  the  days  of  last  winter.  Last  year  at  this  time, 
my  spirit  was  shrouded  in  a  gloom,  which  hid  the  light  of 
heaven  from  my  eyes.  The  corruption  and  sin  of  my  heart, 
was  staring  me  in  the  face.  But  for  all  those  miserable 
days  1  can  now  only  thank  God.  I  did  indeed  pass  through 
a  dark  way,  but  I  humbly  hope  it  was  for  my  good.  The 
first  day  of  this  present  year,  I  began  to  see  light,  and  since 
then,  my  mind  has  gradually  become  more  peaceful,  and 
my  purpose  of  obedience  to  God,  more  and  more  con- 
firmed. 

This  morning  I  have  been  spending  a  season  of  prayer, 
especially  for  our  dear  church,  that  we  may  be  prepared 
for  the  approaching  fast.  And  I  have  been  looking  over 
also  the  year,  now  drawing  to  a  close.  How  much  I 
have,  over  which  to  rejoice ;  and  yet  it  is  not  all,  nor 
chiefly  because  my  way  has  become  so  much  brighter,  as 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  139 

regards  my  temporal  concerns, — but  it  is,  because  my  heart 
can  look  up  in  the  midst  of  all  my  sin,  and  can  trust  in 
God,  and  own  him  as  Father,  Saviour  and  Sanctifier. 

I  long  for  a  time  like  that  of  last  winter.  The  dissipa- 
tion of  summer,  and  the  travelling  of  the  warm  months, 
has  now  given  place  to  a  season  of  quiet.  O,  may  we  all 
improve  it !  Those  precious  days  !  0,  that  they  might 
return  again.  Many  of  my  dear  friends  then  found  a  Sav- 
iour. But  there  are  yet  many,  who  are  without  hope  in 
the  world.  Will  not  our  Father  send  his  good  Spirit  to 
touch  their  hearts,  and  lead  them  to  him. 

I  have  many  duties  to  perform  before  New  Year's.  1 
am  making  some  little  gifts  for  my  friends,  have  society 
work  to  prepare,  and  in  addition  to  this,  I  have  to  spend 
some  portion  of  my  time,  each  day,  in  Mr.  F.'s  room,  to 
have  a  portrait  of  my  poor  self  taken.  With  regard  to  the 
principles  of  my  life,  I  do  try  to  be  governed  by  them  ; 
but  the  one  I  find  the  hardest,  is  to  be  firm,  after  I  have 
decided  a  difficult  question  of  duty. 

My  plan  I  try  to  pursue,  and  have  reason  to  think  that 
it  is  the  best  I  can  have  ;  but  I  have  to  hold  myself  back, 
fori  am  continually  undertaking  too  much." 

To  C.  C. 

Dec.  26th,  1841. 
"  Well,  my  dear  friend,  this  is  a  most  beautiful  day,  with 
which  to  close  our  Sabbaths  of  this  year  ;  and  now  I  know 
you  are  enjoying  this  glorious  moon,  and  thinking,  but  I 
hope  not  too  much,  on  the  varied  events  of  tlie  portion  of 
time  we  are  now  closing.  I  lingered  in  our  church  after 
service,  to  watch  the  sunset  light  upon  the  pillars,  and  our 
noble  organ  ;  and  I  would  have  staid,  had  I  dared,  to  review 
there,  in  the  house  of  God,  the  Sabbaths  of  the  dying  year. 


140  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

There  are  many  thoughts  which  come  crowding  on  our 
minds,  and  our  hearts  are  back  in  the  passing  days,  those 
days  which  brought  so  much  trial*  and  affliction,  but  which 
brought  too,  the  comfort  and  the  blessedness  of  a  Father's 
love.  Let  us  think,  dear  C,  of  the  blessings  which  have 
crowned  the  year,  and  of  the  mercies  which  have,  even 
though  under  disguise,  come  to  us.  Let  us  think  of  those, 
who  forever  released  from  the  sin  and  corruption  of  this 
world,  are  tuning  their  golden  harps  on  the  hills  of  Zion." 

"  Monday  evening,  21th.  I  have  just  returned  from  a 
pleasant  evening  meeting,  the  first  I  have  attended  since  my 
illness,  and  it  was  very  good  to  be  there.  These  precious 
privileges  make  a  Christian  home  seem  very  delightful,  and 
if  we  prize  them  so  highly,  will  it  not  be  our  highest  hap- 
piness to  extend  their  influence  to  the  whole  family  of  man .'' 
Oh,  for  a  spirit  of  benevolence,  that  shall  embrace  the  whole 
human  race.  I  hope  to  derive  much  benefit  from  Mrs. 
Smith's  Life,  which  I  am  now  reading.  How  much  we 
have  to  learn.  I  do  not  mean  of  mere  worldly  science,  but 
of  the  things  pertaining  to  God  and  our  own  souls.  When 
thoughts  of  that  blessed  kingdom,  which  our  Saviour  is 
setting  up  in  this  world,  come  into  our  hearts,  how  every 
thing  which  does  not  aid  it,  sinks  into  insignificance  !  And 
yet  I  feel  that  very  many  things  in  which  we  are  engaged, 
though  perhaps  not  bearing  directly  on  the  great  work,  do 
so  advance  the  cause  by  the  influence  they  throw  around 
us,  that  it  is  part  of  our  Christian  duty  to  engage  in  them. 

Oh,  the  time  is  so  short  for  '  all  we  need  to  do.'  We 
have  just  heard  a  vague  report  of  the  death  of  a  beautiful 
girl,  formerly  a  member  of  our  family.  How  strangely 
sorrow  and  joy,  death  and  life  are  mingled  !     Another  of 

♦  Miss  C.  had  buried  her  father  during  the  year. 


I 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  141 

our  beautiful  flowers  is  this  week  to  be  married.  The 
wedding  is  to  be  at  our  house,  so  I  expect  to  be  very  busily 
and  pleasantly  occupied;  and  this,  with  the  approaching 
solemnities  of  the  fast  and  communion  season,  will  till  up 
the  week. 

Do  you  remember  a  sad  gloomy  letter  I  wrote  you,  just 
a  year  this  week  ?  I  think  of  those  days,  as  among  the 
most  miserable  of  my  life.  But  I  feel  very  differently 
now.  Thanks  be  to  God,  that  darkness  has  given  place  to 
trust  in  him." 

Journal. 

<*  Dec.  3]s^  The  last  rays  of  the  sun  are  gilding  with 
a  rosy  hue,  the  light  clouds  above  the  horizon.  There  is 
snow  on  my  distant  hills,  and  they  are  sleeping  as  in  sum- 
mer days.  My  heart  is  far  back  in  the  days  of  this  now 
dying  year. 

My  character  has  undergone  a  greater  change  in  this, 
than  in  any  preceding  year,  and  yet  perhaps  the  events  of 
earlier  ones,  prepared  for  the  change,  A  certain  peace  and 
trust,  in  a  Christian  hope,  has  carried  me  through  all  the 
changing  and  deeply  interesting  scenes  of  the  year.  To 
God  my  Heavenly  Father,  be  all  the  glory.  I  do  repent 
of  every  sin.  May  his  pardoning  mercy  blot  out  the  guilt, 
the  worldlinessof  the  past  year,  that  it  go  not  over  into  the 
year  which  is  coming. 

This  morning,  I  felt  rather  stupid  on  account  of  the  ex- 
citement of  yesterday.  S.  M.  and  Mr.  F.  were  married  in 
the  afternoon  at  our  house.  A  few  friends  came  in.  S. 
looked  most  lovely,  and  F.,  noble  and  protecting  to  the 
gentle  being,  who  has  given  him  her  all.  She  is  a  lonely 
orphan — but  exceedingly  beautiful — and  every  one  loves 
her.  May  God  bless  them,  and  make  them  truly  happy. 
After  the  bridal  party  had  gone  to  take  the  cars  for  New 


142  ^I^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Haven,  we  all  prepared  the  cake  to  send  round  to  the 
friends.  A  beautiful  group  of  young  girls  knelt  around  the 
table,  as  they  tied  the  white  ribbon  around  each  little 
parcel. 

And  now  farewell  to  the  hopes  and  fears,  joys  and  sor- 
rows, of  this  year.  There  is  a  world  '  where  tinne  is  not 
measured  by  years,'  and  no  change  comes.  May  I  trust  in 
Jesus,  and  do  his  will,  then  may  1  hope  for  an  entrance 
into  that  blest  abode." 


CHAPTER  VII. 


A    YEAR    OF    PREPARATION. 

"  Communion  Sabbath,  Jan.  2c?.,  1842.  Just  two  months 
since  I  began  to  go  to  church  after  my  sickness.  I  have 
had  a  sweet  season  of  prayer.  The  communion  season 
also  I  enjoyed,  and  hope  it  may  have  been  profitable  to  our 
church.  My  Sabbath-school  was  very  pleasant ;  the  sermon 
on  nearness  to  God,  and  the  communion  precious  ;  and  I 
felt  a  happiness  in  surrendering  myself  to  Jesus.  But  this 
afternoon  remaining  at  home,  because  too  fatigued  to  go 
again  to  church,  I  read  in  Mrs.  Smith's  life,  and  have  been 
in  an  agony  of  tears.  O,  how  poorly  I  can  control  my 
feelings.  I  read  all  about  the  parting  from  her  parents, 
'and  thought  about  another  parting  that  will  come,  with 
such  bitter  sadness,  I  knew  not  what  to  do.  O  my  Sav- 
iour, though  I  am  weak,  I  turn  to  thee. 

7  o^ clock,  I  feel  calm  now,  and  trust  in  God,  that  he 
will  give  me  strength  to  do  his  whole  will ; — that  he  will 
help  me  overcome  my  selfish  inclinations,  and  consecrate 
every  thing  to  him  who  died  for  me.  I  have  had  a  sweet 
season  of  prayer.  How  good  is  my  Father  in  Heaven.  I 
will  trust,  for  he  knows  best." 


144  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

"  Jan.  9th.  How  fast  has  the  first  week  of  this  new 
year  flown !  This  day  I  shall  count  as  my  sv/eetest,  for 
I  have  been  freer  than  usual  from  wandering  thoughts, 
and  from  distracting  cares.  Had  a  pleasant  season  with 
my  class,  and  listened  to  a  deeply  solemn  and  interesting 
sermon  from  my  dear  father,  on  '  the  influence  of  the  Spirit.' 
May  we  all  pray  for  a  blessing  on  the  labors  of  this  day. 
I  find  it  very  sweet  to  look  over  the  notes  I  have  taken, 
concerning  the  season  of  religious  interest,  which  we  en- 
joyed last  winter.  Cannot  those  precious  days  return  ? 
O,  what  can  I  do .''     Lord,  teach  me. 

It  has  been  a  most  lovely  afternoon.  The  soft  sky  and 
golden  sunshine,  gilding  every  thing,  remind  me  of  the 
beems  of  the  sun  of  righteousness.  If  this  earth  is  so  beau- 
tiful, what  must  Heaven  be,  where  the  presence  of  God 
gladdens  every  spot,  and  illumines  the  celestial  hills.  I 
thank  God  that  I  can  look  to  him,  and  call  him  Father, 
through  Jesus  Christ,  his  only  Son." 

Wdhersfield,  Feb.  20th. 

*  This  is  my  second  Sabbath  in  this  place,  where  I  am 
visiting  my  dear  M.  W.,  and  I  hope  that  both  have  been 
spent  profitably.  My  seasons  alone  during  this  week,  have 
been  unusually  solemn.  O,  I  feel  my  deep  ingratitude 
a  little  more  than  I  once  did.  Spent  last  evening  alone, 
looking  over  the  past  week — found  cause  of  sorrow  that  I 
had  not  been  as  spiritual  as  I  might  have  been.  O,  my 
Saviour,  fill  my  heart  with  gratitude ;  may  thy  dying  love 
be  my  watch-word,  and  sweetly  constrain  me  to  spend  and 
be  spent  for  thee: 

I  am  making  many  precious  friends  here.  Can  I  do  them 
any  good  }     If  I  have  the  heart,  Jesus  will  open  the  way. 

At  the  window  where  I  am  sitting,  I  have  spent  many 
sunset  hours  in  prayer  ;  and  henceforth  will  the  view  from 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  145 


it  be  associated  in  my  heart  with  some  of  thepleasantest  and 
holiest  hours  I  have  ever  spent.  I  love  to  connect  natural 
scenery  with  devoti  )n.  Even  in  winter  our  earth  is  fair, 
and  is  a  temple  sending  up  its  praises  to  God.  I  shall  think 
of  this  window  when  I  am  far  away, — -of  the  sunset  colors 
and  morning  rays,  which  have  lighted  the  lovely  meadows 
spread  out  before  me,  through  which  our  Connecticut  is 
flowing — and  there  is  the  same  fine  skirting  of  hill  and 
sky,  which  I  always  love  to  watch. 

Went  into  the  Sabbath-school — had  a  class  of  three  little 
girls.  It  was  a  solemn  work,  for  I  shall  probably  never 
meet  them  again  till  the  judgment  day.  They  too  appeared 
interested." 

"  Tuesday,  Feb.  22d.  Beautiful  day  !  Soft  mist  on 
the  mountains,  and  in  the  valley  the  river  twinkles  with  a 
smoky  light,  such  as  I  often  saw  last  spring.  Surely 
nature,  in  all  her  features,  is  lovely.  What  must  be  the 
character  of  that  Being,  from  whom  come  all  these  works  ? 
My  heart  is  quiet  and  trusting,  and  I  can  go  cheerfully  on 
in  the  performance  of  my  many  duties." 

'*  Thursday,  Feb.  2ith.  This  day  has  been  usually 
observed  as  the  fast  for  Colleges.  This  morning,  spent  a 
few  hours  alone,  and  hope  I  had  a  profitable  season.  And 
now  I  want  to  commit  my  own  soul,  and  the  souls  of  all 
for  whom  I  pray,  to  the  keeping  of  our  God  and  Father,' 
that  he  may  work  in  us  all  that  is  acceptable  and  holy  in 
his  sight." 

"  Friday,  Feb.  25th.     Went  in,  with   M.  W.  to  the 
State  Prison.     We  were  just  in  time  to  see  the  prisoners 
assemble  for  evening  prayers, — A  most  solemn  and  affect- 
ing sight.     I  shall  never  forget  the  measured  tread  of  these 
13 


146  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

poor  beings,  as  they  came  in  files  from  their  work  shops  ; 
nor  the  slow  and  earnest  voice  of  the  Chaplain,  reading  the 
portion  in  Ecclesiastes,  commencing,  '  But  if  a  man  live 
many  years,' — nor  the  singing  of  the  prisoners, '  There  is 
an  hour  when  I  must  die.'  All  has  made  too  deep  an  im-» 
pression  ever  to  be  effaced.  The  services  were  peculiarly 
solemn,  for  the  coffin  of  one  of  their  number  was  before 
them.  Without  name  or  date — there  it  lay,  reminding 
them,  that,  though  shut  out  from  the  world,  yet  death 
could  find  an  entrance  through  prison  bolts  and  bars.  *  They 
bore  him  away  without  the  walls,  and  thus  has  closed  in 
darkness  and  gloom,  the  career  of  one,  who  began  the  world 
with  feelings  of  buoyancy,  of  hope,  but  unchecked  by  reli- 
gious principle,  soon  sunk  into  shame  and  sin,  and  now  his 
end  is  come.  We  saw  the  guard  and  four  of  the  prisoners, 
bearing  the  coffin  to  its  grave  behind  the  prison  walls. 
Mr.  B.  is  well  adapted  to  the  station  he  fills.  His  manner 
is  sincere  and  solemn." 

"  Sahhath  evening,  March  Ath^  1842.  This  afternoon 
my  dear  father  has  been  reviewing  the  twenty-four  years 
of  his  ministry,  of  the  commencement  of  which,  this  day  is 
the  anniversary  ;  and  our  hearts  have  rejoiced  in  view  of 
the  goodness  and  mercy  which  have  followed  us  all  the 
days  of  our  life.  Thanking  God  for  the  past,  we  have 
looked  forward  with  humble  trust  for  the  future,  and  there 
in  his  holy  house,  have  left  our  oflferings  of  praise.  The 
prayers,  the  music,  and  the  sweet  hymns,  were  all  in  keep- 
ing ;  and  when  the  last  one  was  joined  in,  ^  On  Jordan's 
stormy  banks,'  I  am  sure  no  heart  there  but  thrilled  with 
emotion.  And  the  doxology,  *  praise  the  Lord,'  ending  in 
its  hallelujah,  amen,  the  rich  organ  notes  swelling  in  full 
harmony,  seemed,  as  my  dear  mother  said,  like  the  anthems 
of  heaven.     Almost  all  the  congregation  who  were  here 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LfiNNEP.  147 

when  my  father  was  ordained,  are  now  sleeping  in  their 
graves.  Many  have  died  in  the  hopes  of  the  gospel.  They 
will  not  return  to  us,  but  we  shall  go  to  them.  My  father 
offered  the  fervent  prayer  of  his  heart,  that  when  we  were 
gone,  others  might  be  here,  who  should  form  a  spiritual 
and  living  church  to  the  end  of  time. 

Our  new  and  deep-toned  bell  rings  this  day  for  the  first 
time,  calling  us  to  that  church  we  love  so  well.  I  shall 
love  this  I  know,  though  'tis  not  the  bell  of  my  childhood. 
That  good  old  bell  !  connected  as  it  was  with  so  many  of 
the  happiest  seasons  of  my  life — whose  tones  were  the 
familiar  ones  of  my  earliest  moments  ;  could  I  help  loving 
it }  My  father  says,  I  shall  not  hear  that  bell  in  Smyrna. 
No,  its  tones  will  not  reach  me  there.  There  will  come 
a  time,  when  I  shall  no  more  go  up  to  th*t  sanctuary, 
which  has  been  my  Sabbath  home  from  my  earliest  years  ; 
when  I  shall  no  more  join  in  its  holy  services.  But  I  am 
not  cast  down;  through  my  tears,  I  can  look  to  a  more 
glorious  temple  above,  where  God  and  the  Lamb  forever 
dwell.  No,  no  ;  this  dear  place  of  worship,  that  has  nur- 
tured many  plants  of  piety,  will  be  called  mine  no  more, 
when  I  depart  from  the  home  of  my  youth  ;  but  if  I  hum- 
bly walk  in  the  ways  of  piety,  and  lean  upon  Jesus  for 
strength,  may  I  not  hope  that  he  will  go  with  me  in  all  my 
wanderings,  make  me  bold  and  faithful  in  his  service,  and 
that  he  will  cause  the  truths  which  I  have  here  heard,  to 
spring  up  in  my  heart,  and  bear  fruit  forever. 

In  the  strength  of  this  day's  services,  I  hope  to  go  m.any 
days  ;  and  now  I  go  to  my  twilight  engagement.  May 
my  Father  meet  a  poor  unworthy  child,  and  give  her  a 
blessing  through  Christ." 

'»  Thursday,  March  lOth.  I  am  writing  by  an  open 
window,  my  own  favorite  one,  and  the  sun  is  really  op- 


148  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

pressive.  It  is  a  beautiful  spring  day,  and  brings  to  mem- 
ory those  of  last  year.  There  are  mild  winds  without,  and 
the  blue-birds  sing  on  the  trees  around  the  window.  So 
faithful  is  our  Father  to  bring  again  the  sweet  spring  time. 
Would  that  it  were  spring  in  my  heart !  And  why  may  it 
not  be  ? 

I  have  been  endeavoring,  by  a  morning  spent  alone, 'to 
prepare  for  the  solemn  services  of  the  approaching  commun- 
ion. I  feel  that  I  have  need  of  much  prayer  and  fasting, 
for  my  heart  is  not  in  such  a  state  as  I  desire.  I  look  back 
on  the  year  which  has  passed,  since  my  mind  began  to 
place  a  new  confidence  in  my  Father  in  Heaven,  and  felt 
a  new  emotion  of  love  and  trust  in  my  Saviour,  and  I  could 
weep  that  I  have  made  so  little  progress.  Those  days  last 
spring,  I  can  truly  call  happy  days,  and  I  know  that  I 
might  enjoy  far  better  ones  now,  and  ought  to,  but  for  this 
evil  heart." 

"  Thursday  afternoon.  We  have  had  a  sweet  prayer 
meeting.  These  seasons  must  be  improved,  for  this  sum- 
mer is  the  last  one  we  may  ever  spend  together.  In  the 
fall  our  beloved  H.  is  to  be  married,  and  then  we  shall  no 
more  meet  as  we  have  done. 

We  are  beginning  to  get  strangely  accustomed  to  the 
scenes  of  active  life.  Marriages,  and  engagements,  are 
almost  a  matter  of  course  now.  But  w^e  can  never  be  ac- 
customed to  the  thought  of  partings  and  separations. 
These  are  the  sad  hard  things. 

O,  my  Father,  help  us  all  to  realize  that  the  thing  for 
which  we  live  is,  to  glorify  thee.  That  these  passing 
scenes  in  life  are  chiefly  important,  as  they  help  to  form 
our  characters,  and  to  fit  us  for  a  higher  state  of  being. 

My  daily  portions  of  scripture  are  now  about  the  closing 
scenes  of  our  Saviour's  life  ;  and  this  morning  I  read  his 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  X49 

last  prayer,  that  beautiful,  touching  prayer,  which  none 
but  the  Saviour  could  pray.  And  now  I  commit  myself 
to  my  Father  in  Heaven.  May  he  work  in  me  that  which 
is  holy  and  pleasing  in  his  sight,  through  Jesus  Christ." 

**  Friday  mornings  Wth.  Went  last  night  to  hear  the 
Rainer's  ; — voices  most  exquisite,  and  singing  in  fine  taste. 
'  Rock'd  in  the  cradle  of  the  deep,'  was  perhaps  the  most 
beautiful.  Their  native  Tyrolese  costume,  and  their  sister 
with  her  guitar,  swung  gracefully  over  her  shoulder,  added 
much  to  the  effect.  But  while  such  a  concert  could  be 
attended  with  truly  Christian  feeling,  I  am  almost  ready  to 
blame  myself  that  I  went.  I  think  it  is  better,  on  the  near 
approach  of  the  communion,  not  to  attend  to  any  thing 
which  diverts  the  mind.  One  so  weak  as  I  am,  is  easily 
drawn  into  the  world,  as  this  little  incident  has  shown  me- 
I  did  pray  before  I  went,  and  the  thing  was  not  of  my  own 
seeking.  0,  my  Saviour,  wilt  thou  help  me  to  keep  a 
steadfast  mind  ;  fixed  only  on  thee." 

*'  March  13M.  Have  had  in  some  degree,  I  trust,  a 
profitable  day.  I  felt  during  the  administration  of  the  sa- 
crament, that  I  must  live  at  a  '  less  dying  rate.'  I  resol- 
ved to  live  nearer  the  Saviour — to  look  more  entirely  to 
him,  and  to  endeavor  to  feel  more  the  great  truths  of  the 
gospel ;  and  this  afternoon,  while  reading  and  meditating 
alone,  I  have  had  this  feeling  much  deepened. 

1  have  been  becoming,  of  late,  too  well  satisfied  with 
my  own  state — have  been  contented  with  going  on,  having 
a  little  pleasant  feeling,  dropping  a  word  now  and  then, 
and  have  not  thought  enough  of  the  importance  of  doing 
^  with  my  might.'  I  know  that  calmness  is  necessary  to 
the  profitable  performance  of  duty  ;  but  that  heart  is  the 
calmest,  which  is  steadily  fixed  on  the  one  great  object  of 
13* 


150  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP, 

following  Christ  in  all  things.     O,  my  Saviour,  hear  thou 
my  prayer  for  a  steadfast  heart." 

"  Thursday^  April  7th.  To-day,  Mr.  B.  gave  me  a 
Greek  lesson.  Oh,  why  is  this  heart  sickness,  when  I  am 
reminded  of  my  future  course  !  1  love  the  friends  far  away, 
I  love  their  country,  I  hope  I  love  my  work ;  but  'tis  the 
thought  of  leaving  this  dear,  dear  place  !  O,  may  my 
heart  feel  so  great  a  desire  to  do  good,  that  I  shall  feel 
strong  in  the  thought  of  separation,  looking  beyond  this 
life  to  our  happy  meeting." 

"  Sahbatlii  April  \Oth.  One  of  the  most  beautiful  days 
of  the  season.  The  buds  are  fast  opening,  and  the  grass  is 
green  all  over  the  fields.  How  lovely  is  returning  spring  ! 
May  my  heart  feel  it,  and  be  happy  in  these  delightful 
days,  because  it  is  fixed  on  Jesus,  and  on  doing  his  will. 
I  am  ready  to  burst  out  into  praise  and  grateful  joy  with 
every  thing  around.  Every  thing  speaks  a  Father's  love. 
I  do  give  up  my  heart  to  Jesus,  to  be  devoted  entirely  to 
his  service.  How  often  I  write  this  in  my  journal,  yet  not 
so  often  as  I  feel  it.  It  is  my  habitual  desire  to  be  devoted 
to  him. 

This  is  my  last  Sunday  before  I  shall  be  twenty-one. 
O,  my  Saviour,  cleanse  aw^ay  the  guilt  of  the  past.  My 
dear  father  preached  from  the  text,  '  I  would  not  live 
alway,'  and  I  hope  that  in  some  little  measure,  I  could 
enter  into  the  meaning  of  the  sermon.  At  the  close,  he 
read  the  hymn  which  expressed  the  sentiment  in  the  text ; 
and  Mr.  M.  played  as  if  he  felt  it,  while  it  was  sung  most 
sweetly.'* 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  151 

^''Monday  noon,   Wth.     Just  like  a  summer's  day,  re- 
minding me  of  Burleigh's  exquisite  poem  on  June — 

*  Hiding  the  sunshine  in  their  vapory  breast, 
The  clouds  float  on  like  spirits  to  their  rest.' 

I  have  been  out  walking  this  morning,  and  have  been  op- 
pressed by  this  beautiful  weather.  How  true  it  is,  that 
often,  when  every  thing  is  bright  and  beautiful  around,  our 
hearts  are  listless.  Perhaps  it  is  because  the  greatness  of 
the  beauty  overpowers  them,  and  that  they  are  too  con- 
tracted to  take  it  all  in.  It  is  this  which  makes  them  so 
poorly  able  to  take  in  the  sublime  truths  of  Redemption. 
Yes,  our  hearts  are  contracted.  O,  God,  wilt  thou  open 
mine,  and  may  I  feel  as  I  should  on  every  subject." 

"  Friday,  April  Ibth.  I  hoped  to  have  spent  yesterday 
as  a  day  of  prayer,  and  fasting,  but  domestic  duties  pre- 
vented ;  yet  all  day  my  thoughts  were  more  tender  than 
for  a  long  time  past.  And  although  my  time  for  medita- 
tion has  been  very  much  broken  in  upon  to-day,  yet  just 
before  tea,  I  had  a  season  of  prayer,  that  the  sins  of  the 
past  might  be  forgiven  me,  and  that  I  might  begin  my  new 
year,  with  entire  devotion  to  God. 

When  I  look  back  to  the  sweet  birth-day  last  year,  and 
think  of  the  mercy  that  has  followed  me  all  the  time,  how 
I  was  permitted  to  pass  a  pleasant  summer,  and  how  in 
the  fall,  when  brought  to  the  gates  of  death,  I  was  raised 
up  again,  and  carried  in  peace  through  the  winter ;  when 
I  think  of  the  intercourse  with  beloved  friends  growing 
more  delightful  every  day  ;  and  of  the  many  precious  sea- 
sons in  private,  which,  throughout  the  year,  I  have  enjoyed, 
I  am  filled  with  gratitude.     Surely  my  cup  overflows. 

This  is  the  bright  side  of  the  picture.  On  God's  side 
every  thing  has  been  mercy.     On  my  own,  I  can  only 


152  ^^I^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

write  sin,  sin,  a  mere  blank.  I  fear  very  much  that  I  have 
let  the  prevailing  lukewarmness  around  me,  influence  my 
feelings  also.  Should  it  be  thus,  with  one  for  whom  so 
much  has  been  done  ?  And  now  in  taking  this  solemn 
review  of  the  past,  I  can  say  first  of  all,  that  my  great  sin 
has  been  in  not  striving  to  live  each  moment  of  time  for 
the  glory  of  God.  How  sweet  it  would  have  been  to 
have  done  this.  And  secondly,  in  not  leaning  entirely  on 
the  Saviour  for  aid,  on  whom  my  all  depends  ;  and  lastly, 
1  have  not  felt  as  I  should  with  regard  to  the  missionary 
work,  nor  willing  as  I  should  be  to  deny  myself.  This 
grieves  me.  Over  this  I  pray  in  bitterness  of  heart.  Over- 
these  sins  I  have  been  mourning.  1  have  taken  them  to 
my  Saviour.  O,  that  he  would  have  pity  upon  me  and 
remove  every  sin,  and  grant  that  in  penitence  and  peace, 
1  may  close  this  year,  and  awake  in  my  new  one,  with 
new  life," 

**  Saturday,  April  \Qth.  This  beautiful  morning  makes 
me  twenty-one.  How  sweetly  it  shines.  I  look  upon 
the  same  hills,  and  soft  sky,  which  one  year  ago  shone  so 
brightly,  and  many  thoughts  come  stealing  over  my  heart. 
Twenty-one  years  !  It  is  a  long  time  to  look  back  upon. 
I  think  of  my  childhood  days,  so  sweet  and  happy,  of  the 
friends  who  have  risen  in  my  path,  and  made  my  life  so 
pleasant,  of  the  blessings  innumerable  which  my  Father 
has  showered  upon  me,  and  I  can  only  bow  down,  and  in 
deep  repentance  for  the  past,  give  up  my  heart  to  him 
anew. 

O,  God,  wilt  thou  take  this  life  which  thou  hast  spared  ; 
wilt  thou  grant  that  throughout  each  moment  of  the  com- 
ing year  I  may  be  wholly  thine,  and  act  only  from  motives 
drawn  from  love  to  thee,  as  Father,  Saviour  and  Sanctifier. 
Thou  only  canst  tell  what  lines  are  written  for  me  in  the 
future ;  but  I  have  trusted  thee  in  the  past ;  shall  I  not 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  153 

also  for  the  coming  days  ?  When  I  look  to  this  poor  way- 
ward heart,  I  despair  of  ever  attaining  the  only  worthy 
end  for  v/hich  to  live — but  when  I  look  to  thee  I  say,  great 
God  all  things  are  possible  with  thee.  And  now  I  do 
sincerely  and  unreservedly  give  up  this  heart  to  thee.  I 
feel  that  I  shall  be  safe  under  thy  eternal  guidance — and 
supremely  blessed,  if  I  may  be  under  thy  control,  through- 
out every  moment  of  this  life.  May  my  «m  be  single. 
May  self  be  put  far  away.  May  I  live  with  direct  refer- 
ence to  Jesus,  and  the  concerns  of  his  kingdom,  striving 
that  my  every  act  may  tend  to  its  furtherance  in  this  world. 
This  is  my  prayer.  May  it  be  heard  only  through  Christ. 
Have  received  beautiful  birth-day  remembrances  from 
some  of  my  friends.  May  I  live  so  truly  to  Jesus,  as  to 
be  worthy  of  their  love. 

April  17t/i.  After  going  to  S.  S.  where  I  met  my  dear 
class,  who  all  appeared  interested,  unusually  so,  in  what 
we  talked  about,  I  felt  so  fatigued  that  1  came  home,  and 
here  by  the  study  window  I  have  been  thinking,  and  look- 
ing over  my  last  year,  and  praying  too. 

O,  I  thank  God  for  many  things  I  find  in  the  retrospect, 
and  mourn  over  many  things  also. 

I  have  very  many  feelings  of  the  past  now  in  my  heart. 
This  birth-day  has  called  them  up,  and  I  have  been  com- 
paring them  with  my  present  feelings. 

I  fear  that  last  year,  I  let  my  religion  assume  a  too 
poetic  character — rather  dreamy — looking  too  much  for 
natural  beauties,  and  letting  my  thoughts  be  governed  by 
the  world  of  beauty  which  was  around.  I  thank  God  that 
he  made  me  to  receive  enjoyment  from  every  thing  in  na- 
ture ;  that  he  gave  me  a  spirit  to  respond  to  all  the  loveli- 
ness around  ;  but  I  desire,  that  as  my  mind  has  been  open 
to  impressions  from  natural  objects,  it  may  be  now  open 


154  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

to  those  far  more  glorious  objects  that  exist  in  the  spiritual 
world,  of  which  Christ  and  his  great  work  are  the  founda- 
tion. And  I  humbly  hope  this  may  be  the  character  of  my 
meditations  this  year.  0,  my  Saviour,  open  my  heart  to 
these  blessed  truths. 

The  day  is  uncommonly  fine,  the  air  is  bland,  and  the 
bird  notes  exquisite.  My  heart  loves  these.  Yes,  I  may 
love  them.  '  Love  not  these  the  less,^  but  God  and  Christ 
more.  I  feel  that  I  am  in  danger  of  placing  these  first.  It 
must  be  God  and  Christ  first. 

I  must  now  try  to  form  some  kind  of  plan  for  the  sum- 
mer. My  studies  this  winter  have  been  very  light,  and  I 
have  not  done  much,  as  my  health  requires  I  should  live 
easily. 

I  shall  endeavour  to  spend  some  time  over  Greek  and 
French  every  day.  O,  I  rejoice  that  my  mind  feels  more 
interested  in  the  Mission  cause.  This  has  been  my  great 
trouble,  that,  when  God  was  so  graciously  pleased  to  call 
me  into  his  vineyard,  that  I,  instead  of  leaping  and  taking 
hold  of  the  work,  should  have  had  so  many  misgivings 
about  it.  I  can  only  go  and  mourn  before  Jesus,  and 
ask  him  to  forgive  the  past,  and  give  me  a  heart  to  feel  for 
poor  lost  souls. 

I  can  rejoice  now  in  a  little  better  spirit.  0,  my  Saviour, 
keep  that  which  thou  hast  put  into  this  heart.  It  is  all  of 
grace.  Yes,  every  thing  is  of  grace.  I  have  more  reason 
to  feel  this  than  any  one  else,' for  I  hdve  sinned  against 
greater  light  and  greater  love.  I  do  now,  rest  all  my  de- 
pendence on  the  Saviour.  I  cannot  look  away  from  him 
one  moment.  Iwill  keep  in  his  presence — there  alone  is 
life  and  safety. 

The  principles  I  laid  down  last  December,  I  desire 
should  govern  me  now  that  my  plan  will  have  to  be  differ- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  I55 


ent.  Indeed  I  cannot  form  one  quite  yet,  until  I  look 
round  and  see  what  is  to  be  done.  My  letters  from  the 
East  tell  me  many  things,  and  throw  light  on  the  prepara- 
tion for  my  work.  May  I  have  strength  for  all  that  needs 
to  be  done. 

Thursday,  20th.  Most  lovely,  sunshine  all  around, 
and  music  of  the  birds  very  sweet.  These  beautiful  days 
should  fill  our  hearts  with  gratitude. 

Yesterday  went  to  the  Consecration  of  St.  John's 
Church  !  A  beautiful  gothic,  j^et  not  equal  to  the  old  one. 
The  scene  was  imposing  and  solemn.  The  priests  in  their 
robes  kneeling  in  the  chancel  and  round  the  altar,  made  a 
beautiful  picture,  and  carried  my  thoughts  back  to  the  old 
Romish  days,  when 

'  The  marble  floor  was  swept 
By  many  a  long  dark  stole,' 

And  then  the  glorious  strains  of  the  organ  swelling  along 
the  arches,  made  my  very  heart  leap.  There  is  that  in  the 
forms  of  the  church,  which  is  exceedingly  imposing,  and 
there  is  thrown  a  veil  of  both  poetry  and  mystery  over 
its  rites  which  fascinates  the  eye  of  the  imagination. 
Oh,  yes,  it  does  fascinate,  and  there  is  the  danger.  'T  is 
a  veil  to  hide  the  simplicit}^,  and,  to  the  unrenewed  mind, 
the  severity  of  religion.  It  throws  around  the  plain  self- 
denying,  humbling  precepts  of  the  Gospel,  a  drapery  very 
graceful  and  beautiful,  and  having  also  a  devout  air,  the 
mind  becomes  contented  to  rest  in  it,  without  looking 
deeper  for  the  spirit  and  power  of  godliness.  I  have  in- 
deed the  best  reason  for  believing  that  there  are  many  pious 
and  sincere  worshippers  in  that  church,  but  that  its  peculiar 
forms  and  tenets,  have  the  tendency  to  foster  pride,  and 
quiet  the  conscience,  I  have  also  very  good  reason  to  be- 
lieve. 


156  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

The  service  of  yesterday  made  a  deep  impression  on 
my  mind.  1  am  glad  I  went.  It  may  be  useful  to  me  here- 
after, and  help  to  form  my  opinion  of  matters  and  things. 
I  fear  1  was  too  much  taken  up  with  mere  curiosity,  and 
did  not  pray  as  I  should,  that  that  place  of  worship  might 
be  the  gate  of  heaven  to  many  souls.  Yet  so  much  of  the 
service  seemed  merely  formal  that  my  curiosity  was  exci- 
ted more  than  any  thing  else. 

"  Tuesday,  26th.  Feel  deeply  the  state  of  beginning  de- 
clension. Last  year,  how  different  we  were.  All  inter- 
ested and  happy  in  the  love  of  God.  Now  we  are  cold. 
*  O  Lord,  wilt  Thou  not  revive  us  again  ?'  Thought 
yesterday  morning  of  asking  a  few  friends  to  a  special 
prayer  meeting  and  spoke  to  one  about  it.  And  now  I 
pray  for  a  blessing  on  this  plan.  May  it  succeed,  and 
our  meeting  on  Thursday  warm  our  hearts  and  turn  again 
our  backslidings.  Many  of  the  dear  girls  joined  the  church 
at  our  communion  in  May,  last  year.  The  coming  sab- 
bath, is  the  anniversary  of  that  event.  They  will  grieve 
that  it  finds  them  so  little  advanced. 

Saturday,  April  3Gth.  The  evening  before  our  holy 
communion  has  at  last  come, — and  beautifully  its  light  is 
fading,  while  a  sweet  bird  is  singing  his  vesper  song  among 
the  blossoms.  My  work  in  the  early  morning,  and  after, 
wards,  with  my  singing  and  drawing  school,  has  wearied  me 
and  I  sat  at  home  this  afternoon  sewing  and  thinking.  It 
was  beautiful  without — the  sun  shining  brightly  and  green- 
ness and  freshness  all  around.  I  have  some  sweet  thoughts, 
and  all  this  week  have  been  more  than  usually  tender, 
but  I  have  not  that  sweet  peace  I  enjoyed  last  year  at  this 
time.  I  can  not  tell  to  what  it  is  owing.  Outward  things 
affect  me  much  less  than  formerly,  and  I  have  nothing  to 
trouble   me.     Yet  my  heart  does  not  flow  forth  freely  and 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  157 

gladly,  delighting  in  doing  God's  will,  aod  resting  in  the 
sunshine  of  His  face.  Yet  I  think  I  feel  nnore  willing  to 
give  up  every  earthly  thing.  I  can  call  God  my  Saviour. 
I  do  love  him.  O  for  a  heart  that  entirely  rests  in  Him. 
I  can  tell  my  Saviour  all  my  wants  and  He  will  help 
me. 

Sabbath  evening  May^  1st.  A  delightful  sabbath  with- 
in and  around,  and  I  do  bless  God  for  it.  Since  meeting, 
a  thunder  storm  has  been  refreshing  the  earth,  but  now  it 
is  clearing,  and  the  sun  is  gilding  with  a  most  peculiar 
crimson  light,  the  trees  and  chimneys  and  masts  of  vessels, 
and  a  soft  glow  is  cast  over  the  eastern  sky,  as  the 
clouds  are  passing  away.  Oh,  how  lovely  is  nature  in  all 
her  moods  !  A  flood  of  amber  streams  around  the  setting 
sun  ;  and  now  I  can  see  a  faint  bow  just  where  the  hills 
are  peeping  out  of  the  mist.  Bright  and  lovely  even  in 
tears  this  fair  earth  always  seems.  I  shall  love  it  till  my 
latest  hour.  But  O,  there  is  a  more  glorious  one  where 
the  redeemed  shall  dwell — one  which  shall  never  lose  its 
freshness  and  beauty — on  which  the  eye  can  feast  and 
never  grow  weary. 

That  sweet  bow,  just  in  the  spot  where  I  gazed  -oftenest, 
just  over  those  hills  I  have  watched  most — did  it  not  mean 
something  for  me  ?  I  will  learn  its  lesson  of  hope.  Though 
these  earthly  scenes  are  hidden  from  our  view,  there  are 
others  more  lovely,  more  spiritual,  to  be  discerned  by  the 
eye  of  faith,  and  I  will  turn  to  them,  for  they  can  give  me 
more  true  happiness. 

The   communion    I   did   enjoy,   it   was   refreshing.     I 

thought  over  the   whole  year so  full  of  mercy  to  me — 

and  I  can  say  with  thankfulness  that  I  have  enjoyed  more 
refreshing  seasons  in  my  devotions  at  home,  more  comfort 
in  the  ordinances  of  the  gospel,  especially  in  the  commuije 
14 


J58  MKS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP; 

ion,  more  quiet  in  my  sabbaths,  than  ever  before,  and  I 
can  add,  than  in  all  my  life  put  together. 

I  did  give  my  poor  heart  all  away  this  day  at  the  com- 
munion, and  now  I  do  it  again.  I  want  to  have  more  con- 
versation of  a  Christian  nature — and  this  has  been  turned 
nto  a  resolution. 

Tuesday^  May  Sd.  Yesterday  in  looking  over  the 
•*  Missionary  Herald,"  thought  how  much  need  of  self  de- 
nial on  our  part  to  carry  forward  the  great  plans,  for  the 
promotion  of  Christ's  kingdom.  I  thought  much  of  this 
yesterday.  Oh  how  much  I  need  a  heart  filled  with  be- 
nevolence and  ready  to  do  my  all  in  this  work,  which  I  can 
not  but  feel  to  be  glorious,  and  alone  worthy  the  energies 
of  an  immortal  being.  I  pray  God  that  He  will  so  direct 
me,  and  so  fill  me  with  his  love,  that  all  I  am  and  have 
may  be  devoted  to  Him,  without  one  selfish  reservation. 

Wednesday  4M.     After  dinner  walked  to  Aunt  M 's 

found  a  May  day  party  there.  I  had  hoped  they  would 
have  defered  their  crowning  till  a  warmer  day,  but  there 
they  were,  and  in  spite  of  the  showers  they  were  a  merry 

and   beautiful  group.     S ,  their    lovely  queen,  fairer 

than  most  of  her  companions,  did  the  honors  of  her  station, 
with  grace  and  dignity.  Her  wreath  was  beautiful,  and  they 
had  all  shown  much  taste  in  the  arrangement.  It  brought 
to  my  mind  the  time  when  I  was  a  little  girl,  crowning 
May  queens  in  that  same  grove.  I  went  and  played  with 
them  and  tried  to  be  young  again  among  their  bright  faces. 

To  Mrs.  Fitch. 

Hartford  J  May  16th,  1842. 
'*  My  very  dear  31r^.  Fitch.     Your  note,  so  full  of  kind 
words,  deserved  an  earlier  answer;  but  you  know  that  to 
you,  I  do  not  need  to  make  apologies.     I  should  have  writ- 


J&RS.  MARY  E.  '^'AN  LiENNEf*.  ISC) 

ten  a  very  plain  matter-of-fact  sort  of  note  last  week,  and 
I  should  have  told  you  that  you  certainly  mistook  my  char- 
acter in  supposing  I  was  looking  forward  with  very  bright 
anticipations — but  I  have  since  then  received  a  letter  from 
the  East,  and  after  the  reception  of  every  letter,  I  find  my 
heart  looking  forward  more  and  more.  And  yet,  my  dear 
Mrs.  Fitch,  though  I  make  this  confession  to  you,  I  feel 
that  I  do  not  anticipate  so  much  as  you  seem  to  think  I  do. 
I  do  not  dare  to  build  my  hopes  of  happiness  on  any  thing 
which 'is  in  this  world,  for  I  feel  too  deeply  in  my  own 
heart,  that  this  life,  however  happy,  cannot  satisfy. 

1  am  free  now  from  any  morbid  sense  of  the  vanity  of 
this  world,  and  I  should  be  the  last  one  to  '  plant  yews  and 
cypresses'  on  the  path-way  through  life,  for  I  shall  ever  feel 
that  there  is  enough  of  enjoyment  mingled  with  the  sad»- 
ness,  to  make  this  state  of  being  far  more  than  passable— 
and  to  the  Christian  it  surely  need  not  be  a  gloomy  way  ; 
for  while  he  passes  on  trusting  in  his  God,  there  is  many 
a  ray  of  sunshine,  and  many  a  bright  star,  to  light  him  to 
his  home.  But  I  do  feel  that  there  is  nothing  earthly  on 
which  we  can  place  our  dependence  for  happiness.  And 
is  not  the  true  difference  between  the  worldling  and  the 
Christian  this  ?  The  latter  may  enjoy  many  things  which 
the  former  does,  but  while  he  enjoys  them  he  looks  to  a 
higher  source,  and  feels  that  his  portion  is  more  enduring. 
I  pray  God  that  I  may  take  the  good  and  evil  just  as  it 
comes,  patiently  submitting  to  the  one,  and  thankfully 
enjoying  the  other,  and  striving  to  do  his  will,  whatever  it 
may  be." 


160  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNER 

To  one  of  her  early  friends. 

Hartford^  July  5th,  1842. 

*'  My  dear  A.  Since  I  heard  of  your  marriage,  I  have 
wanted  to  send  you  my  most  sincere  wishes  for  your 
increasing  happiness,  I  little  thought  while  your  bridal 
day  was  passing,  what  was  then  taking  place  ;  and  even 
now  I  can  scarcely  realize  that  you  are  no  longer  A.  R. 

And  so  you  are  now  a  wife,  a  happy  one  too,  I  imagine, 
rejoicing  in  the  love  of  one  who  is  more  to  you  than  all  the 
world  beside.  My  prayers  have  gone  up  to  heaven  for 
you,  that  God's  blessing  ma}^  be  upon  your  union  ;  that 
he  may  direct  you  in  all  your  future  path.  Wherever 
your  future  lot  niay  be  cast,  may  his  eye  watch  over  you, 
guarding  you  from  every  evil ;  leading  you  to  choose  him 
as  your  everlasting  portion. 

I  did  not  think  when  you  left  my  sick  chamber  last  No- 
vember, that  I  was  bidding  my  good  bye  to  A.  R.  Had  I 
known  it,  my  dear  friend,  I  should  have  urged  you,  even 
more  strongly  than  I  then  did,  to  have  settled  one  subject, 
which  has  for  a  long  time  been  pressing  on  your  attention  ; 
that  so  God  might  have  been  with  you  as  your  friend,  in 
the  important  step  you  have  taken.  But  it  is  not  too  late 
now.  Can  you  not,  joined  by  him  with  whom  your  destiny 
is  linked  forever,  now  in  the  commencement  of  your  mar- 
ried life,  give  up  to  God,  your  Father  and  Redeemer,  the 
hearts  which  should  be  his,  and  devote  your  lives  to  his 
blessed  service  }  These  are  not  mere  words,  dear  A.  I 
write  what  are  the  deepest  feelings  of  my  heart.  You 
may  have  all  the  happiness  which  this  wopld  can  give,  and 
yet  without  love  to  God^  you  will  find  in  the  end  that  you 
have  trusted  for  happiness  in  something  which  cannot  sat- 
isfy an  immortal  being.  But  I  believe  that  you  are  willing 
to  assent  to  all  this.     The  trouble  with  you  has  seemed  to 


MfRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  IQ] 


be,  that  you  could  not  do  what  you  felt  was  required  of 
you.  I  wish  I  could  make  it  seem  plain  to  you.  It  does 
seem  to  my  mind  the  simplest,  the  easiest  and  the  most 
blessed  thing  in  the  world,  to  give  up  the  heart  to  the  con- 
trol of  God,  and  by  daily  looking  to  him  fox  strength  to 
conquer  our  corrupt  inclinations,  to  grow  in  every  thing 
which  will  m.ake  us  like  him.  The  act  is  one  of  simple, 
delightful  trust,  in  one  who  knows  just  what  we  need. 
You  have  your  Bible,  dear  A. ;  you  can  go  to  that.  You 
will  Bot  forget,  I  am  persuaded,  in  the  midst  of  all  the 
scenes  through  which  you  are  now  moving,  that  you  have 
higher  and  more  important  interests,  which  demand  your 
most  serious  attention. 

I  feel,  my  dear  friend,  that  it  is  a  fearful  as  well  as  a 
blessed  thing  to  live  in  these  days.  It  is  a  time  in  which 
we  cannot  take  neutral  ground  ;  we  must  either  take  otar 
stand  as  defenders  of  the  truth,  or  shut  our  eyes  to  it,  and 
foe  against  it.  Will  you  not  inquire  for  yourself  where  right 
is  ?  Do  not  be  content  to  glide  on  with  those  who  are 
around  you,  but  ask  yourself,  '  are  they  right  r  Take 
your  Bible,  dear  A.,  and  in  view  of  the  glorious  things 
which  are  being  accomplished  in  these  latter  times,  ask 
God  to  direct  your  course  in  life,  that  so  it  may  be  onward 
and  upward,  and  brightened  by  his  approving  smile.  You 
are  now  in  the  busy  scenes  of  life  ;  no  longer  a  young, 
careless  girl,  acting  without  any  thought  or  fear  of  the  fu- 
ture, but  engaged  in  more  sober  duties,  which  will  tell  on 
your  everlasting  condition. 

May  God  bless  and  keep  you.  My  heart  is  almost  too 
full  to  write,  wbile  I  think  how  years  may  pass  away,  and 
i  shall  hear  but  little  of  that  early  friend  with  whom  many 
happy  hours  were  passed.  Our  spheres  will  be  widely 
different.  May  we  each  pass  our  days  in  the  love  and  ser^ 
vice  of  our  God,  and  at  last,  may  we  meet  in  joy,  to  mi«i- 
14* 


IQ2  ^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

gle  our  anthems  of  praise  '  unto  him  who  has  loved  us,  and 
washed  us  in  his  own  blood,'  and  hath  redeemed  us  from 
sin.  Yes,  to  that  glorious  Redeemer,  may  it  be  our  eter- 
nal happiness  to  ascribe  all  honor  and  glory.  Good  bye^ 
my  dear  friend,  my  heart  often  prays  for  you. 

Your  truly  affectionate j  M." 

%  To  the  samei 

Hartford,  July  21st,  1842. 
^'  I  feel,  dear  A.,  in  parting  from  you,  more  than  I  can 
express.  You  are  going  to  a  far  distant  land,  where  the 
gospel  ordinances  to  which  you  have  been  accustomed, 
will  no  more  be  present  to  draw  you  to  God.  You  will  be 
where  the  religion  of  your  fathers  is  despised.  Dear  A.^ 
may  the  Lord  keep  you,  and  place  around  you  his  protect- 
ing arm,  so  that  the  adversary  shall  have  no  power  to  harm 
you.  Your  future  course,  perhaps,  does  not  look  to  you 
as  it  does  to  me.  I  have  deeply  felt,  ever  since  I  knew 
you  were  going  to  ,  the  coldness  that  would  imper- 
ceptibly creep  over  you  in  regard  to  spiritual  things.  They 
\Vill  not  be  the  less  important  because  you  may  be  insen- 
sible to  themi  The  world  may  draw  you  into  its  whirl, 
until  you  forget  that  there  was  a  time  in  your  youth  when 
you  felt  the  importance  of  having  a  portion  in  the  Saviour^ 
and  the  scenes  in  which  you  will  mingle  may  so  engross 
your  thoughts,  that  the  whispers  of  God's  spirit  will  not 
arouse  you.  But  there  will  still  be  a  God  in  heaven, 
whose  eye  will  follow  you,  and  the  day  of  account  will  be 
feVer  drawing  nearer  and  nearer.  Dear  A.,  there  may  come 
a  time  when  the  world  shall  be  unfolded  to  you  in  its  true 
light,  when  you  shall  see  it  is  not  worthy  of  your  soul. 
O,  then,  when  weary  and  sick  at  heart  of  its  vanities,  will 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  163 

you  not  remember  the  Saviour,  whose  love  it  may  not  then 
be  too  late  to  receive. 

I  know  not  how  to  close,  dear  A.  I  feel  more  than  I 
can  tell  you.  I  shall  pray  for  you  '  without  ceasing.'  May 
God  give  you  his  blessing,  and  follow  you  in  every  path 
you  may  take. 

I  have  one  little  favor  to  ask,  my  dear  A.,  in  parting. 
This  little  ^  Daily  Food,'  1  want  to  give  you,  with  the  re- 
quest, that  you  will  learn  a  verse  each  day,  and  think  that 
your  friend  M.  is  learning  the  same.  It  will  be  a  pleas- 
ant bond  of  union  when  the  ocean  wave  rolls  between  us, 
to  know  that  the  same  portion  of  scripture  is  the  comfort 
of  each.     Farewell — God  bless  you. 

Ever  yours,  M." 

Journal. 

"  Tuesday  evenings  August  30M.  Once  more  in  my 
dear  New  Haven  home,  after  a  week  full  of  interest.  Last 
Monday  evening,  in  company  with  Dr.  and  Mrs.  F.,  left 
this  place  for  Philadelphia.  The  full  moon  was  shining 
most  gloriously  over  the  dark  waters  of  the  sound.  When 
we  were  fairly  started,  I  began  to  feel  that  we  were  really 
going  to  our  friends.  It  was  too  warm  for  sleep,  and  all 
night,  as  I  lay  in  my  berth,  1  could  look  out  upon  the 
waves  and  see  the  distant  lights  on  the  sound  ;  and  I  con- 
tinually thought  of  that  song,  <-  Rock'd  in  the  cradle  of  the 
deep.'  Early  morning  found  us  at  New  York.  After 
breakfasting  on  board,  we  went  to  the  ferry  to  take  the  cars 
for  Philadelphia.  Saw,  in  crossing  the  ferry,  the  British 
ship  '  War  Spite,'  a  noble  vessel.  I  had  made  up  my  mind 
to  look  at  every  thing  I  could,  and  to  learn  all  I  could  ;  and 
certainly  there  never  was  a  journey  better  fitted  for  the 
furtherance  of  such  a  purpose  than  that. 


i64  ^ilS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEl?. 


The  day  was  uncommonly  fine.  The  clouds  floated  over 
the  deep  blue  sky,  and  were  reflected  from  the  waters  be- 
neath. It  was  a  day  of  beauty  and  of  glory.  Our  ride  in 
the  cars  was  full  of  interest  to  me.  Every  thing  seemed 
novel.  We  passed  through  many  places,  and  I  enjoyed 
looking  in  the  highest  degree.  Then  we  took  the  boat  at 
Bordentown,  and  passed  down  the  noble  Delaware.  'Tis 
a  most  beautiful  river,  lined  with  green  trees,  and  verdant 
meadows,  and  then  the  country  seats  and  villages  peeping 
out,  were  so  picturesque,  I  was  never  tired  of  gazing  at 
them. 

I  shall  never  forget  the  beauty  of  that  day — the  light 
sails  floating  on  that  sunny  river— -the  soft  clouds  above 
us — the  lovely  scenery  all  around— peaceful,  but  never 
grand.  We  were  approaching  Bridesburg,  and  sat  anx- 
iously looking  for  the  boat,  which  was  to  take  us  onshore* 
It  was  a  pleasant  change  from  our  large  steamer  into  that 
little  boat,  and  to  skip  lightly  over  the  water  to  the  shore, 
where  Mr.  D.  was  waiting  for  us.  I  was  overjoyed  to 
reach  that  place,  to  which  I  had  looked  forward  so  often; 
but  it  was  far  more  beautiful  than  I  thought. 

I  have  no  words  to  describe  Pine  Grove,  the  residence  of 
Mr.  D.  The  old  venerable  trees,  tall,  so  tall  they  seemed 
to  rest  upon  the  sky, — the  house,  so  antique,  and  just  the 
one  to  people  with  visitants  from  the  spirit  land,— the  beau* 
tiful  opening  to  the  river — the  willows  sweeping  their  long 
branches  over  the  lawn-— all  combined  to  make  it  one  of 
the  finest  places  1  ever  saw.  Then  the  perfect  stillness 
reigning  there — for  the  grounds  are  arranged,  so  as  to  hide 
every  other  house,  even  the  most  distant ;  and  it  seems  as 
if  there  was  no  house  within  a  mile.  I  stood  by  the  win- 
dow, gazing  out  upon  its  beauty.  Never  before  had  such 
majestic  trees  greeted  my  eye.  We  were  all  entranced, 
and  dear  Mr.  and  Mrs.   D.  enjoyed  our  delight.     Of  the 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  165 

happy  days  spent  there,  I  can  say  but  little.  The  remem- 
brance of  those  friends,  will  live  like  a  fresh  fountain  of 
gladness  in  my  heart  ;  and  of  them  I  need  no  pen  and  ink 
memento. 

Thursday  was  very  !3eautiful.  Rode  to  the  various 
scenes  of  interest  around  the  city.  We  saw  in  German- 
town,  old  mansions,  which  must  have  stood  before  the 
revolution — and  went  through  the  valley  of  W.,  a  most 
wild  and  romantic  spot.  Then  to  Laurel  Hill,  the  Ceme- 
tery on  the  Schuylkill,  with  its  beautiful  trees  and  solemn 
monuments — a  most  interesting  spot.  The  monuments  in 
white  marble  were  exquisite  ;  one  of  a  little  boy  sleeping. 
Another,  a  rose  stalk  with  six  buds,  in  memory  of  a 
mother  with  her  children  resting  there." 

*'  Thursday,  Oct.  13th.  I  have  been  looking  over  my 
state  of  mind  for  the  past  few  months,  and  I  felt  that  a  day 
spent  in  this  manner,  and  in  forming  such  an  estimate  of 
the  duties  to  which  I  must  attend,  this  coming  season, 
would  not  be  unprofitable.  My  time  has  indeed  been  bro- 
ken in  upon  very  much  since  the  warm  weather  commen- 
ced. Constant  company  until  the  last  week  in  July,  i  Then 
I  prepared  to  go  to  New  Haven,  and  the  third  of  August 
found  me  there.  Four  weeks  spent  most  delightfully  in 
New  Haven  and  Philadelphia,  passed  quickly  away. 

Thursday,  the  15th  of  September,  M.  and  S.  W.  spent 
with  me.  In  the  evening,  their  brother  T.  came  in,  and 
after  staying  a  short  time,  took  his  sisters  to  pass  the  eve- 
ning at  his  cousins.  Little  did  we  think  it  was  the  last 
time  he  would  pass  our  door.  Friday  morning,  early,  the 
girls  were  up,  for  M.  was  to  start  for  Salem.  We  parted 
with  kind  and  happy  words,  and  no  thought  of  the  bitter 
to-morrow  sent  its  shadow  over  us. 

After  dinner  on  Saturday,  came  the  sad,  dreadful  shock. 


156  MES.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Poor  W,  and  another  young  man  were  drowned.  Myste- 
rious and  deeply  afflictive  this  bereavement  has  been. 
After  tea,  went  and  staid  with  S.  all  night.  Sabbath  was 
a  day  long  to  be  remembered.  Oh,  it  seemed  to  us  all,  as 
if  life  never  could  be  any  thing  again.  The  body  was  car- 
ried to  Wethersfield  at  noon.  A  prayer  was  made  by  my 
father  at  the  house,  before  its  removal.  Never  can  we 
forget  that  day.  May  we  all  remember  the  impressions 
which  sank  into  our  souls,  while  we  stood  around  the  bier 
of  him  who  was  so  lately  with  us,  in  all  the  tlow  of  life  and 
health.  He  was  the  only  son  of  his  widowed  mother. 
This  solemn  event  saddened  us  all,  and  the  approaching 
wedding,  where  he  was  to  have  been,  could  not  call  back 
our  thoughts  to  gaiety." 

"  Wednesday,  Sept.  21.9^,  was  dear  H.'s  bridal  day. 
Spent  the  morning  there  to  assist  in  arranging  flowers,  &c. 
When  I  went  again  at  evening,  they  were  just  putting  on 
her  veil.  There  she  stood  for  the  last  time  as  H.  D.  She 
was  very  calm,  and  looked  most  beautifully.  Then  we 
descended  to  the  librar}^,  where  Mr.  P.  and  our  grooms- 
men waited,  and  we  prepared  to  go  into  the  parlor — pin- 
ned on  the  white  favors,  and  all  was  ready.  I  felt  what 
could  not  be  put  in  words  during  the  ceremony,  and  prayed 
with  my  whole  heart  for  their  happiness,  in  the  path  in 
which  they  should  walk.  Then  came  the  wedding  party, 
and  we  were  in  a  crowd  of  company,  while  H.  met  them 
all  with  sweet  dignity  and  grace." 

*'  Nov.  (ith.  Our  Communion,  We  have  passed  a  pre- 
cious Sabbath.  My  heart  rests  itself,  and  all  its  interests, 
on  my  Saviour  ;  and  I  can  look  in  and  around,  and  feel 
calm  in  the  thought  of  his  love,  of  all  my  blessings,  of  all 
the  gracious  things  in  his  kingdom,  and  in  our  eternal  home. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  167 

My  communioDs  will  be  few  in  this  dear  place,  but  may 
they  prepare  me  for  the  more  perfect  communion  in  heaven. 
Since  tea,  spent  an  hour  in  prayer  for  all  the  dear  friends 
who  appointed  to  meet  with  me.  What  a  comfort  to  re- 
member them,  though  far  from  us.  Oh,  God  is  full  of 
mercy  to  grant  me  these  blessings. 

And  now  I  commit  all  my  cares  to  God.  My  desire  is, 
to  do  all  I  can  for  him.  Forgetting  self. — persevering  in 
what  1  begin— feeling  humble — trusting  in  my  Saviour. 
These  are  my  resolves.     Oh,  for  grace  and  strength." 

'*  Nov.  Thanksgiving  day.  There  are  many  thoughts 
in  my  mind.  I  have  been  thinking  all  the  morning  of  the 
innumerable  mercies  which  crown  my  life.  I  have  bless- 
ings in  friends,  in  opportunities  for  improvement,  both  men- 
tal and  moral,  in  ways  of  usefulness,  and  last,  though  not 
least,  blessings  in  a  spiritual  sense.  There  are  mingled 
feelings  this  day. 

Great  God,  thou  art  pouring  upon  my  poor,  unworthy 
head,  such  blessings  as  fill  me  with  shame,  when  1  think 
of  my  poor  improvement  of  them.  Wilt  thou  give  me 
strength  to  use  them  all  in  the  way  which  will  best  glorify 

thee. 

One  thing  fills  me  with  anxiety.  Not  one  of  all  my 
dear  friends,  who  were  not  Christians  last  year,  have  be- 
come so  this.  Some  of  those  over  whom  I  have  prayed, 
are  interested  in  religion,  and  will,  1  trust,  show  in  future, 
that  their  attention  is  not  transient.  But  some  who  are 
dear  to  me,  remain  yet  away  from  Christ.  O,  may  I  work 
'  while  the  day  lasts,  with  a  becoming  zeal  and  untiring 
spirit  of  love,  for  those  over  whom  I  have  influence  ;  and 
may  I,  should  another  thanksgiving  find  me  in  this  world, 
have  the  joy  of  seeing  my  desires  fulfilled,  in  beholding 
them  safe  in  thy  fold. 


168  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

This  may  be  the  last  I  shall  ever  spend  in  this  dear  home 
of  the  pilgrims.  But  ever  shall  I  praise  God,  that  he  cast 
my  lot  in  this  land, — in  these  New  England  scenes,  among 
these  glorious  privileges. 

And  now,  in  view  of  all  my  blessings,  I  come  and  with 
grateful  heart  commit  all  my  way  unto  the  Lord,  fully  per- 
suaded that  he  will  do  all  things  rightly  with  regard  to  the 
future.  I  can  say  that  my  chief  desire  is,  so  to  use  the 
good  and  the  ill,  I  may  yet  receive  from  his  hand,  that  he 
may  be  glorified,  and  his  own  perfect  will  be  fulfilled  with 
regard  to  me. 

My  dear  father  gave  us  a  delightful  sermon — *  Who 
maketh  thee  to  differ  ?'  Just  the  right  kind  of  sermon  for 
the  day,  and  the  best  way  to  make  us  feel  truly  grateful. 
When  he  closed  with  the  earnest  hope  and  prayer  for  the 
continued  prosperity  of  our  beloved  country,  and  looked 
forward  too  to  the  time  in  which  we  should  meet  around 
that  throne,  where  no  sin  would  mingle  with  the  voices  of 
praise,  my  whole  soul  responded  its  amen  to  all,  and  I  felt 
I  could  gladly  go  forth  from  my  native  land,  to  labor  and 
die  on  a  foreign  soil,  and  cheerfully  could  trust  my  dearest 
interests  in  the  hand  of  God. 

Immediately  upon  the  close  of  his  sermon,  the  last  word 
scarcely  dying  from  his  lips,  the  full  organ  swelled,  and 
the  choir  struck  up  the  anthem,  *  Blessing  and  honor,  glory 
and  power,  be  unto  him  who  sitteth  on  the  throne,  and 
unto  the  Lamb,  forever  and  ever.' 

When  I  went  to  my  room  at  night,  I  felt  that  it  was  the 
pleasantest  thanksgiving  season  I  had  ever  enjoyed, 

Dec.  4:th.  Talked  with  my  dear  mother  of  the  future, 
and  had  happy  thoughts  of  our  parting,  and  of  my  future 
work.  Much  impressed  with  what  Charlotte  Elizabeth 
says  of  private  journals.     She  thinks  they  cannot  be  faith- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  169 

ful,  and  may  deceive  us.  Oh,  may  this  not  injure  me ! 
I  write  for  the  fixing  in  my  mind  events  which  I  shall  love 
to  recall,  and  1  pray  God  I  may  never,  by  reading  these 
pages,  be  led  to  indulge  a  self  complacent  spirit.  Let  me 
remember  the  sins  which  I  have  but  imperfectly  noticed, 
and  while  they  look  me  in  the  face,  may  I  seek  for  peace 
only  through  Jesus." 

"  Thursday^  8tk,  4  P.  M,  I  thank  God  for  putting  it 
into  my  mind  to  keep  this  afternoon  of  the  week,  as  a  time 
for  meditation,  and  the  special  reading  of  the  Bible.  I 
have  commenced  studying  the  Bible  anew,  and  can  truly 
say  that  I  find  pleasure  and  profit  thus  far.  If  I  look  to 
God,  he  can  give  me  such  knowledge  as  I  need.  jNIay  I 
find  him  here  in  this  season  !  I  long  to  know  the  truths 
which  lie  hidden  in  his  word,  and  I  have  been  praying  for 
light,  and  also  that  1  miglit  come  fully  under  Divine  injlu' 
cnce,  and  be  in  all  things  subjected  to  God's  holy  will." 

"  Sabbath  evening,  Dec.  ISth.  These  precious  days 
which  are  passing,  how  can  I  improve  them  aright  ?  When 
life  is  only  for  once,  and  is  so  short,  how  full  of  importance  ! 
Eternity  only  will  make  us  realize  these  things.  But  I 
long  here  to  see  things  as  they  are.  What  I  want  is  a  true 
interest  in  the  souls  of  my  impenitent  friends.  I  feel  that 
I  have  not  yet  learned  the  way  to  pray  and  labor  for  them, 
and  I  am  trying  now  to  find  out  what  Jesus  would  have  me 
do.  Something  seems  to  me  wrong,  for  I  have  been  pray- 
ing a  long  time,  and  yet  see  no  results.  And  oh,  the  time 
is  so  short !" 

"  Fast  day,  Dec.  30th,  1842.     In  reviewing  the  year, 
I  can  truly  say,  ^  goodness  and  mercy  have  followed  me 
all  the  way  j'  and  while  I  am  deeply  conscious  of  my  own 
15 


170  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ill  desert,  1  hope  I  do  dot  deceive  myself,  in  thinking,_that 
I  am  on  the  whole  in  a  better  state,  than  when  I  wrote  my 
fast  day  account  one  year  ago.  1  would  hope  that  there 
is  some  more  steadfastness  ;  not  so  much  blown  about,  that 
1  am  some  nearer  Christ,  and  feel  his  dying  love  some 
more,  and  the  preciousness  of  redemption.  I  have  had 
my  mind  turned  more  to  the  Holy  Spirit  of  late  ;  and  I 
do  hope  I  feel  better  about  my  missionary  work.  Yes,  I 
do  thank  God  that  it  does  seem  delightful  to  be  engaged 
for  Christ,  and  working  in  his  vineyard,  wherever  he  ap- 
points. 1  hope  I  feel  a  desire  to  go  wherever  he  directs 
me,  and  do  whatever  he  thinks  best,  and  if  he  would  only 
go  with  me,  that  1  would  be  willing  to  go  far  away  for  the 
sake  of  his  cause. 

There  is  a  change,  but  oh,  the  work  is  far  from  com- 
plete, and  yet,  that  it  is  begun,  is  cause  for  joy  ;  and  I  will 
continue  to  trust  my  Saviour,  and  look  more  earnestly  to 
him  alone,  and  ask  him  to  search  my  heart,  to  root  out  all 
evil,  and  fit  me  to  do  his  holy  will.  If  in  any  thing  I  am 
more  peaceful,  and  am  better  in  my  feelings,  it  is  all  owing 
to  the  grace  of  God.  Oh,  I  thank  him,  forbearing  so  long 
with  me,  for  preserving  my  life  and  my  privileges  to  me.  J 
am  resolved  to  keep  my  eye  fixed  on  Jesus.  Each  year 
makes  him  more  precious,  and  shows  me  more  clearly,  that 
he  is  my  only  hope.  I  am  ready  to  sink  without  him,  but 
his  love  does  encourage  me  to  continue  the  conflict.  One 
side  of  the  picture  looks  dark,  but  the  other  does  look 
bright ;  but  I  will  look  alone  to  Jesus,  who  can  make  all 
bricrht." 

o 

"  Saturday,  Dec,  ^Ist.  Yesterday  was  a  good  day. 
Our  church  in  a  good  state,  and  some  encouragement  to 
hope  for  a  revival.  On  God's  side  all  is  ready  ;  may  he 
take  every  obstacle  from  our  hearts.     The  prayers  were 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  171 

solemn,  and  the  crowded  room  seemed  filled  with  the  pres- 
ence of  God. 

It  may  be  the  blessing  waits  even  now.  God  knowS 
what  the  year  will  bring.     My  prayer  is,  O  let  me  be  fully 

devoted  to  Jesus  and  his  cause,  and  may  my be  a 

Christian.  Yet  my  desires  stop  not  with  his  conversion  ; 
my  dear  class,  my  friends,  this  dear  people,  the  whole  world. 
How  sweet  to  think,  that  though  our  fondest  projects  may 
fail,  yet  Jesus'  cause  will  go  on,  and  will  come  to  a  com- 
plete accomplishment.  Yes,  '  The  kingdoms  of  this  world 
will  become  the  kingdoms  of  our  Lord  and  of  his  Christ, 
and  he  shall  reign.'  And  in  this  kingdom  let  me  and  my 
dear  friends  cast  ail  our  interests." 

"  Jan.  \st^  1843.  This  morning  was  our  communion, 
and  it  did  seem  pleasant  to  have  it  come  on  the  first  day 
of  the  year.  We  sang  '  Our  God  our  help  in  ages  past,'  a 
sublime  hymn,  and  '  On  Jordan's  stormy  banks  I  stand.' 
My  dear  father's  sermon  was  from  Colos.  1  :  12  ;  showing 
what  was  necessary  in  order  to  be  prepared  for  the  happi- 
ness of  heaven.  I  could  answer  all  the  solemn  tests  with 
some  satisfaction. 

It  was  sweet  to  be  around  His  table,  and  I  did  enter  with 
my  whole  soul  into  the  consecration  of  myself  to  Christ ; 
and  I  did  pray,  that  when  the  year  came  round  again,  I 
might  be  engaged  for  him  far  away  among  the  heathen. 
These  precious  privileges,  these  dear  friends,  are  very  dear 
to  me,  but  I  do  hope  I  can  leave  them  all,  and  I  pray  God 
that  I  may  not  be  in  the  slightest  thing  deceived  about  my 
state.  I  have  resolved  to  go  no  step  alone.  I  consecrate 
to  Jesus,  my  timcy  my  studies,  my  Jriends,  my  earthly 
store,  and  ask  him  to  guide  me  every  moment.  O,  he 
whose  love  brought  him  to  die  for  us,  will  he  not  give  us 
all  things  necessary  to  enable  us  to  live  for  him.    O,  I  know 


172  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

he  will.  My  only  resolution,  or  rather  all  my  resolutions, 
are  comprised  in  this  one  thing,  ^  trust  in  Christ,  daily  and 
hourly.^ 

My  class  were  all  present  this  morning.  We  spent  our 
hour  in  serious  personal  conversation.  1  talked  with  each 
one  of  my  dear  girls,  and  tried  to  get  them  to  begin  this 
day  to  do  right.  I  have  trembling  hope  for  three.  May 
God  guide  each  one.  I  fear  they  may  be  suddenly  called 
away.     May  I  be  faithful  the  little  time  that  remains. 

And  now  I  give  up  myself,  and  all  my  dear  friends,  and 
my  interests  to  Jesus,  praying  that  this  may  be  a  year  of 
the  right  hand  of  the  Most  High ;  that  his  kingdom  may 
come,  not  only  here,  but  in  all  our  world.     Amen. 

I  must  notice  the  beautiful  day  which  smiles  upon  us. 
The  sky  is  bright  and  softly  blue,  and  the  snow  lies  upon 
the  ground,  and  gives  a  sweet,  home-like  aspect  to  all  the 
dwellings  around.  Yes,  ail  is  calm  and  bright  and  beauti- 
ful. My  Father  makes  it  all.  And  he  who  makes  the 
natural  world  so  lovely,  is  making  the  moral  world  shine 
brighter  and  brighter,  and  all  the  dark  clouds  of  pollution 
shall  be  chased  away.  One  thing  I  like,  and  'tis  that  I  am 
learning  to  read  the  revealed  word  of  God,  as  v^eli  as  the 
nataralword,  and  I  am  thankful  that  I  am  beginning  better 
to  comprehend  and  love  its  sacred  pages. 

I  must  notice  also,  that  on  Saturday,  I  received  from  my 
dear  friends,  such  a  testimonial  of  their  love  and  interest  in 
me,  and  of  their  love  to  the  cause  in  which  I  hope  we  are 
all  engaged,  that  I  was  overwhelmed  with  emotions.  How 
sweet  to  have  these  dear  friends,  and  sweet  to  spend  an 
eternity  in  heaven  with  them." 

"  Jan.  Idth.  I  have  refrained  from  writing  in  my 
journal,  because  it  wearied  me — but  I  think  these  few 
weeks  have  been  among  the  most  interesting  of  my  life.     I 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  173 

wish  I  had  a  connected  account  of  recent  events,  for  I  should 
love  to  remember  them  when  far  away.  I  intended  to 
have  squared  off  old  accounts  the  last  year,  and  begun 
afresh  in  my  journal,  but  many  duties  prevented.  On  Fri- 
day, Jan.  6th,  I  was  invited  to  spend  an  evening  in  a  large 
circle  of  friends,  where  they  were  to  dance.  I  felt  sorry 
to  have  these  circles  just  now,  when  we  are  hoping  that 
there  is  a  little  revival.  Could  not  go — feared  I  was  get- 
ting severe.  O,  to  think  of  my  setting  up  for  a  censor! 
It  troubled  me  to  stand  aloof  from  my  friends,  and  to  be 
obliged  to  show  them  I  did  not  approve  of  dancing.  Sev- 
eral times  of  late  have  been  so  tried — very  few  of  my 
friends  think  as  I  do.  In  time  past  I  have  had  much  per- 
plexity, and  much  thought  on  the  subject,  but  my  mind  is 
made  up. 

Sabbath,  heard  a  solemn  sermon  from  father.  *  He  is 
joined  to  his  idols,  let  him  alone.' 

After  dinner,  as  I  sat  in  my  room,  mother  opened  the 
door,  and  told  me  with  tears  in  herej'^es,  that  F.  had  come 
to  see  father,  completely  overcome,  in  an  agony  of  feeling, 
impressed  during  the  sermon.  How  I  then  hoped  with 
trembling.  I  could  only  pray — and  when  I  thought  how 
many  conflicting  feelings  were  in  his  heart,  the  pride,  the 
world,  I  could  hardly  believe  it  would  be  possible  for  him 
to  change.  But  what  is  impossible  with  man,  is  possible 
with  God. 

On  Tuesday  evening,  on  returning  from  the  lecture,  we 
found  F.  with  my  mother,  in  the  parlor.  But  how  chan- 
ged !  Gentle,  subdued — his  voice  tender,  and  he  appeared 
completely  absorbed  in  the  one  subject.  Mother  had  been 
reading  to  him,  and  he  had  been  several  times  in  tears. 
As  he  retired  with  my  father  for  private  conversation,  we 
spent  the  time  in  trembling  thought  and  prayer.  I  could 
only  think  of  this  verse,  and  it  was  in  my  mind,  with  a 
15* 


174  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

power  before  unknown, — '  With  God  all  things  are  possi- 
ble, but  not  with  man.' 

That  night,  at  evening  worship,  some  expressions  of  my 
father's  showed,  that  he  hoped  that  F.  had  at  last  found 
rest.  0,this  was  too  good  to  be  believed  !  That  F.  was 
now  a  Christian — a  ransomed  one — could  it  be  true  ?  That 
night,  the  prayers  of  months,  of  two  years,  had  been  gra- 
ciously, most  wonderfully,  most  sweetly  answered.  I 
speak  not  of  my  own  prayers.  Too  much  sin  had  been  in 
mine,  for  me  to  hope  much  in  regard  to  them.  But  others 
had  prayed.  There  had  been  some,  who  had  had  their 
thoughts  turned  particularly  to  this  stranger  in  our  midst. 
Has  not  God  something  for  him  to  do  ?  How  wonderful 
is  his  working  !" 

"  Thursday^  Vlth.  F.  came  in,  so  happy,  so  changed, 
that  I  could  not  believe  it  was  he.  He  gave  us  some  ac- 
count of  his  feelings.  The  case  is  truly  wonderful.  May 
God  give  him  grace  to  hold  out.  He  played  and  sang, 
'  Return,  O  wanderer,  return,' — told  how  unworthy  he 
was,  how  wonderful  it  was  that  God  should  change  his 
heart  of  sin.  His  eyes  were  full  of  tears  many  times.  He 
could  not  think  of  Jesus'  wonderful  love,  without  thinking 
of  his  own  sins.  '  He  long'd  to  devote  his  all  to  him.' 
Said  '  it  was  the  sweetest  enjoyment  to  kneel  down  and 

pray ;'  '  to  take  his  Bible  and  read.'     All  looked  well 

still,  felt  how  much  he  needed  God's  strength,  to  keep  him 
from  falling. 

On  Wednesday,  the  18th,  T.  called  to  see  my  father. 
She  was  indulging  a  hope — was  impressed  by  the  same 
sermon,*  and  same  part  which  had  affected  F.  Surely 
God  is  wonderful  in  working.     She  is  very  intelligent,  and 

*  ♦  He  is  joined  to  his  idols,  let  him  alone.' 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  175 

the  workings  of  her  mind  are  very  deep.  Had  a  few  words 
with  her.  She  told  me  how  differently  she  felt  towards 
me  from  what  she  used  to.  She  once  almost  hated  me, 
because  I  wrote  her  a  religious  note  in  school.  I  had  for- 
gotten the  circumstance.  It  was  some  years  since — five, 
I  think." 

"  Wednesday,  25th.  This  day  is  set  apart  by  the  North 
and  Centre  Churches,  as  a  day  of  fasting  and  prayer.  We 
need  such  a  season  very  much,  for  we  feel  our  churches  are 
not  in  the  best  state  for  a  revival.  We  are  hoping  and 
praying,  and  doing  something,  but  we  feel  that  we  need  to 
be  converted  anew  ourselves,  before  v/e  can  enter,  as  we 
should,  into  the  work.  It  is  very  evident  that  God  is  ready 
to  bless  us,  if  we  do  not,  by  our  coldness,  hold  him  back. 
Oh  !  this  must  not  be  I" 


To  M.  S. 

SahhatJi,  Jan.  29th,  1843. 
**  My  dear  M.  I  have  felt,  this  morning,  that  I  must 
write  you  a  note  just  as  we  used  to  do  long  ago.  Does  it 
not  seem  as  if  God  has  a  blessing  for  our  classes,  if  we  will 
only  be  faithful,  and  pray  and  labor  without  fainting.  May 
he  give  us  strength,  and  the  willing  earnest  mind,  to  en- 
gage in  all  that  he  points  out  for  us.  We  can  commit  these 
dear  children  to  him,  and  beseech  him  to  receive  them  as 
his  own.  But  O,  I  tremble,  lest  w^e  may  not  feel  and  act 
as  we  ought.  Dear  M.,  let  us  continue  to  join  our  prayers 
for  their  conversion.  I  am  sure  w^e  may  pray  with  the 
expectation  of  a  blessing  ;  for  does  not  Jesus  love  their 
souls  far  better  than  vre  do  ?  Yes,  and  we  pray  to  one  who 
not  only  loves,  but  who  has  given  himself  to  die  for  them, 
for  us  all.     He  can  raise  us  from  our  ruin,  and  make  us  free 


176  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

from  sin.  Oh,  blessed  emancipation  !  To  be  free  from 
sin  !  from  all  which  separates  our  souls  from  him  who  is 
the  fountain  of  holiness  and  life." 

Journal. 

"  Monday^  Jan.  30;/«.  The  reading,  yesterday,  of 
'Edwards'  Life,'  has  awakened  new  feelings,  and  caused 
me  much  sorrow.  I  found  my  love  to  God  and  Christ  so 
far  below  his,  that  I  determined  to  go  directly  and  search 
the  matter  out  in  my  heart,  and  see  whether  I  had  any 
reason  to  hope,  and  whether  I  had  not  been  deceived  all 
my  life. 

I  have  had  a  solemn  and  heart-searching  time.  I  have 
been  in  bitterness  of  spirit,  but  I  am  glad  and  only  glad 
that  I  read  this  book.  I  long  to  be  a  whole  Christian, not 
a  half,  undecided  one.  Oh  !  how  dishonorable  to  God, 
how  ungrateful  to  the  Saviour  who  died  for  me.  Some- 
times I  think  I  have  not  yet  seen  enough  of  myself,  and 
these  trials  are  to  show  me.  I  think  it  is  only  doing  God's 
will,  which  will  satisfy  my  heart.  I  remember  his  sweet 
promise  of  the  Holy  Spirit  to  those  who  ask.  Will  he  not 
grant  it  to  me  ^ 

Dear  Saviour,  here  on  this  day  I  long  to  give  my  whole 
being  to  thee,  without  any  reservation.  I  shall  be  happy 
only  w^hen  thou  takest  me,  all  that  I  am,  and  all  that  I 
have." 

To  C.  C. 

Hartford,  Feb.  20th,  1843. 

**  I  have  thought  much  of  you,  dear  C,  during  these 

weeks  in  which  the  Spirit  of  God  is  blessing  your  town.f  I 

wish  that  we  were  enjoying  a  refreshing  from  on  high — but 

I  hope  you  are  careful  not  to  do  too  much.     I  never  would 


RTRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  177 

do  again  as  I  did  during  our  revival  tw^o  years  ago  ;  and  yet 
I  cannot  be  sorry  for  what  I  then  did,  for  I  v^ould  not  for 
worlds  give  up  the  experience  of  that  blessed  winter.  It 
is  very  hard  indeed  to  keep  in  the  right  line.  A  fear  of  not 
improving  the  peculiar  blessings  of  a  revival,  leads  on  the 
one  hand  to  a  constant  activity  ;  and  on  the  other  hand, 
the  fear  that  nature  will  sink  under  it,  makes  us  want  to 
rest  some  ;  and  so  we  are  continually  wavering,  (that  is,  I 
am,  I  hope  you  do  better)  between  the  two.  I  sometimes 
think  that  the  old  saying,  'we  may  as  well  die  one  way  as 
another,*  is  the  best  one  for  me  to  act  upon,  and  so  be  re- 
lieved from  this  constant  struggle.  Happy  indeed  shall  we 
be  in  that  blessed  world,  where  there  will  be  no  sinking, 
decaying  nature  to  trouble  and  draw  away  our  thoughts. 
Till  that  world  is  reached,  we  must  toil  on,  sometimes 
mounting  joyfully  to  heaven,  and  sometimes  drooping,  and 
sad,  and  weary  in  this  land  of  sin  and  temptation. 

I  must  tell  you,  that  last  week  I  had  a  most  lovely  let- 
ter from  my  dear  Marion.  I  shall  never  in  this  world  see 
her  again — and  yet  I  have  become  strangely  accustomed  to 
this  thought.  Is  it  because  I  really  feel  heaven  to  be 
near,  and  this  life's  separation  a  short  one  ;  or  is  it  because 
I  have  become  indifferent  to  these  partings  ?  We  were  as 
near  sister's  as  we  could  be,  and  when  she  went  away  it 
seemed  as  if  the  best  part  of  my  life  had  gone  with  her.  I 
wish  you  knew  her. 

This  is  the  day  that  Isabella*  is  to  be  married,  and  the 
next  week  on  Tuesday,  she  sails  in  the  Emma  Isadora,  for 
Smyrna.  I  have  lived  all  this  month  in  thoughts  of  her. 
I  am  reading  Harriet  Newell's  Life  too.  So  young  !  only 
19 — and  such  a  sweet,  happy  Christian.  Does  it  not  re- 
quire great  grace,  to  turn  away  from  every  earthly  thing, 

*  Now  Mrs.  Bliss,  at  Trebizond. 


178  M^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  say,  '  Whom  have  I  in  heaven  but  thee  ?  and  there  is 
Aone  upon  the  earth  I  desire  beside  thee.'  It  is  this  entire 
devotion  to  the  Saviour  which  animated  the  first  herald^ 
of  the  Cross,  that  I  long  to  feel — -and  yet  I  am  only  groping 
my  way  along,  through  toils  and  through  tears  ;  sometimes 
feeling  the  love  of  Jesus,  but  often  full  of  sorrow  at  my  poor 
attempts  at  loving  and  serving  him,  who  is  worthy  to  re- 
ceive the  affections  and  the  homage  of  all  hearts  in  the 
universe.  For  this  I  daily  strive  and  watch  and  pray — 
and  will  you  not  too  pray  for  your  friend  ? 

I  want  to  thank  you  in  my  piano's  name  for  your  remem- 
brance to  it.  It  is  ready  to  return  the  sound  in  the  sweet- 
est manner  it  is  capable  of,  if  you  will  only  listen.  Will  it 
be  waking  the  echoes  of  a  foreign  land  next  year  ?  I  sup- 
pose you  would  say,  '  this  is  a  question  M.  can  answer 
better  than  I.'  " 

Journal. 

"jPe6.  2lst,  1843.  To-day  I  have  been  looking  over 
my  state,  and  trying  to  give  up  myself  anew  to  God.  I 
have  been  looking  over  my  past  life,  and  I  feel  the  deepest 
sorrow  in  view  of  my  continual  vileness,  and  my  preferring 
my  own  will  to  God's.  Though  my  outward  conduct  has 
been  correct,  yet  this  has  been  manifested  in  a  thousand 
different  ways.  When  I  view  my  life,  and  think  how  i^ 
has  been  filled  with  infinite  love  and  goodness  on  the  part 
of  God,  and  with  continual  sin  and  ingratitude  on  my  part, 
I  am  overcome  with  sorrow — particularly  that  when  called 
to  the  Missionary  work,  I  did  not  rejoice  and  devote  myself 
gladly  to  it,  but  shrank  back,  and  preferred  my  own  ease. 
For  this  I  can  never  cease  to  feel  the  greatest  shame  and 
sorrow,  and  I  trust  the  deepest  penitence.  I  have  wept 
and  prayed  over  it  many  times — and  to-day  it  has  been 
again  in  my  thoughts,  standing  out  among  the  dark  lists  of 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  179 

sin  in  my  past  life.  I  do  beseech  God,  in  his  infinite 
mercy,  for  Christ's  sake,  to  blot  out  the  past ;  and  I  earn- 
estly entreat  him  to  give  me  now  a  sense  of  his  pardoning 
love. 

I  have  been  endeavoring  to  yield  up  my  soul  into  the 
hands  of  Jesus,  that  I  may  begin  noio,  with  full  purpose  of 
obedience  to  be  the  Lord'' s.  I  desire  to  place  h\m  firsts  and 
I  do  not  know  of  one  single  thing  that  I  am  not  happy,  or 
at  least  willing,  to  give  up,  and  my  heart  approves  of  it, 
and  1  feel  I  cannot  be  happy  in  any  other  course.  To  God 
my  Father,  my  Saviour,  my  Sanctifier,  I  do  now  yield  my- 
self entirely,  desiring  only  to  be  in  his  hands,  to  have  no 
will  of  my  own,  but  to  do  his  ov.'n  blessed  will,  from  this 
time  forth  and  forever  more.  And  now,  trusting  in  aton- 
ing blood  to  wash  away  the  guilt  of  the  past,  and  trusting 
in  an  Almighty  friend  to  keep  me  with  regard  to  the  future, 
I  commit  myself  and  all  my  interests  to  his  safe  keeping. 

I  renew  my  resolutions,  my  pnnciples  of  action  I  would 
rather  call  them,  made  more  than  a  year  ago.  I  have  lived 
very  poorly  indeed  in  accordance  with  them,  yet  1  do  de- 
sire still  to  be  guided  by  them — and  by  God's  help  I  will 
keep  them — but  oh,  by  his  help  alone,  for  1  am  all  weak- 
ness. 

And  now  I  have  given  up  all  to  Christ.  I  have  made  a 
full  consecration.  I  hope  I  am  no  longer  half  persuaded^ 
but  all  persuaded  to  be  his,  entirely  and  forever;  and  yet, 
I  never  felt  my  weakness  and  sin  as  1  do  now." 

"  March  5th.  The  light  is  fading  of  a  precious  commun- 
ion Sabbath !  How  much  has  happened  in  these  two 
months  !  What  encouragement  have  we  to  go  on,  still 
hoping,  toiling,  trusting,  till  the  end  come.  In  the  midst 
of  the  various  and  conflicting  feelings,  which  for  these  two 
months  have  been  agitating  my  mind,  I  think  I  can  see  the 


180  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

leadings  of  God's  blessed  Spirit.  I  hope  I  find  in  my  heart 
this  day,  a  more  ardent  desire  to  be  wholly  devoted  to 
Jesus. 

During  these  two  months,  F.  and  T.  have  become  Chris- 
tians. How  little  did  I  think  last  communion,  that  I  could 
count  this  among  our  blessings,  when  next  the  day  came. 
Surel}'  God  is  full  of  love,  and  shall  I  not  go  on,  and  have 
strong  faith  that  all  my  dear  friends  may  be  led  to  the  Sav- 
iour, until  our  circle  shall  be  safe  in  the  fold,  and  not  our 
circle  only,  but  millions  of  others,  until  this  whole  world 
knows  the  Lord  our  God.  Several  too,  of  my  young 
friends,  are  becoming  more  decided  in  their  Christian  feel- 
ings, and  exhibit  pleasing  evidence  of  being  God's  children. 
May  Jesus  take  them  and  lead  them  straight  to  heaven. 
And  the  good  Spirit  is  gently  touching  our  hearts,  reviving 
the  graces  of  his  children,  and  calling  those  who  are  far 
away  from  God  to  return. 

These  two  months  have  been  marked  by  mercies  out- 
wardly, and  the  inward  strivings  of  my  heart  have  been 
marked  by  mercy  too.  And  now  I  do  commit  myself  to  a 
Saviour,  who  can  save  me.  And  I  surrender  to  him  all  I 
am,  and  all  I  have,  to  be  his  forever.  With  God  I  leave 
all  my  friends  and  myself and  in  his  hands  we  are  safe." 

'■'■Saturday,  March  lltli.  lam  here  in  New  Haven 
with  my  dear  Mrs.  F.  She  is  very  feeble,  but  we  trust 
her  in  God's  hands." 

"  Sabbath,  12th.  This  morning  heard  the  blue  birds 
singing.  How  pleasant  is  the  returning  spring — may  it 
bring  spring  to  our  souls.  May  God's  Spirit  breathe  upon 
us,  and  awaken  us  to  a  new  life. 

I  have  had  some  interesting  conversation  with  my  dear 
Mrs.  F.,  but  she  is  very  feeble.     I  feel  continual  solicitude 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  181 

in  her  behalf.  She  is  hardly  out  of  my  thoughts  night  or 
day.  I  watch  her  every  moment,  but  her  physician  thinks 
more  favorably  of  her  case." 

"  Hartford^  April  IQth,  1843.  My  birth  day,  and  I 
am  twenty-two  years  old.  I  have  many  thoughts  to-day, 
and  yet  I  see  that  time  does  soften  and  chasten  our  feel- 
ings ;  for  I  view  the  past  and  the  future  in  a  far  calmer 
manner,  than  I  have  ever  been  able  to  do  before.  The 
past  is  full  of  blessings  on  God's  part,  and  I  hope  I  have 
some  gratitude.  And  it  is  indeed  full  of  sin,  and  I  hope  I 
have  some  suitable  sense  of  it.  May  I  from  this  time 
forth,  make  a  holy  use  of  all  that  God  grants  me,  looking 
only  to  Jesus,  for  pardon,  for  strength,  for  happiness.  I 
have  many  sweet  blessings  to  notice  in  the  past  year.  Oh, 
how  good  is  my  Saviour.  To  him  I  do  indeed  surrender 
all.  May  his  kingdom  come,  and  his  holy  will  be  done  in 
this  sinful  world,  and  may  all  I  learn,  and  all  I  do,  be  for 
the  furtherance  of  this  great  object.  The  future,  all  to  us 
unknown,  I  commit  to  his  care.  He  will  brino-  events  as 
seemeth  him  good.  I  am  not  anxious.  This  is  probably 
my  last  birth-day  in  this  dear  home  ;  but  God  gives  me 
strength  to  contemplate  it  peacefully ;  and  I  hope  1  can 
say,  my  chief  desire  for  myself  and  all  my  friends  is,  to  be 
employed  in  doing  God's  will." 

"  June  30M.  I  had  not  intended  to  write  any  more  in 
my  journal,  for  it  occupied  so  much  of  my  time — so  I  clo- 
sed it  on  my  birth-day.  But  I  think  on  such  occasions  as 
the  communion  Sabbaths,  &c.,  it  would  be  well  for  me  to 
note  a  few  of  the  more  important  events  which  occur,  both 
in  the  inner  and  outer  world. 

These  two  months  which  have  passed  since  our  last 
communion  have  been  marked  by  innumerable  mercies. 
16 


182  MI^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP, 

j  ] 

My  time  has  passed  for  the  last  few  weeks  in  a  very  even 
way,  both  without  and  within,  but  before  that  I  was  some 
of  the  time  tempest  tost.  Yet  it  does  seem  to  me  I  have 
advanced  some.  Since  the  last  communion,  I  have  learned 
more  what  it  is  to  abide  in  Christ.  I  have  been  helped 
some  with  regard  to  my  selfishness,  and  find  it  easier  and 
pleasanter  to  live  for  others,  than  ever  before.  There  is 
still  trouble  in  my  heart,  that  the  Bible  is  too  much  a  sealed 
book  to  me.  Over  this  I  pray  daily  and  earnestly.  1  feel 
that  I  have  but  begun,  in  every  thing.  I  do  hope  that 
God's  Holy  Spirit  has  renewed  my  heart,  but  I  am  very 
faint  and  sinful,  and  can  scarcely  keep  along  in  the  path  in 
which  it  is  my  earnest  desire  to  walk.  But  I  try  to  look 
at  Christ.  And  what  I  have  been  resolving  on  is,  to  abide 
in  him  through  all  things. 

I  am  happy  in  seeing  my  young  friends  coming  one  by 
one  into  the  kingdom  of  Jesus.  E.  joined  the  church  last 
May,  and  next  Sabbath  C.  will  also.  The  others  of  this 
young  circle  continue  their  interest  in  divine  things — and 
the  number  is  increasing.  O,  may  God  keep  them,  and 
lead  them  all  to  heaven. 

I  have  been  able  to  accomplish  many  things,  and  there 
are  some  more  which  I  wish  to  finish  before  H.  comes. 
But  I  try  to  be  patient  about  them  all,  trusting  in  Christ, 
that  he  will  help  me  in  every  thing  needful.  Oh,  I  long  to 
be  fully  devoted  to  this  blessed  Saviour, 

May  I  and  my  friends  be  engaged  in  doing  his  will  ; 
then,  whatever  comes,  all  will  be  right," 

Here  ends  the  journal ;  a  manuscript  of  about  five  hun- 
dred pages,  compactly  written,  in  which  the  principal 
events  of  two  and  a  half  years  of  her  short  life  are  briefly 
noticed,  together  with  the  influence  which  these  had  upon 
her  Christian  character. 


Mrs.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  l83 

She  seems  to  have  had  two  reasons  for  keeping  it.  One 
was,  as  she  has  said,  that  she  might  have  the  satisfaction 
of  recalling  scenes  and  events  contained  in  it,  when  she 
should  "  be  far  away."  And  the  other,  that  she  might  be 
able  to  mark  with  more  distinctness,  her  progress  in  the 
divine  life.  The  foregoing  extracts  are,  of  course,  but  a 
small  portion  of  the  whole,  but  they  are  sufficient  to  show 
the  tenor  of  her  daily  life-*-with  this  exception,  however, 
that  she  judged  of  her  conduct  by  the  motives  which  influ- 
enced her,  and  not  by  actual  results ;  and  has  given  her 
own  impressions  of  herself,  rather  than  the  impressions  of 
others  with  regard  to  her  ;  and  while  she  has  treated  with 
unsparing  severity,  her  faults  and  imperfections,  she  has 
scarcely  noticed  the  daily  routine  of  active  and  benevolent 
duties  which  graced  her  life. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

PREPARATIONS  FOR  LEAVING    HOME,   MARRIAGE  AND 
DEPARTURE. 

To  M. 

Hartford,  June  9th,  1843. 

"  My  dear  sister, — Since  I  wrote  you  last,  I  have  had 
time  to  do  a  great  many  things.  I  wish  I  could  send  you 
a  daguerreotype  likeness  of  my  life  for  the  year  past,  for 
there  are  many  things  in  it  I  want  you  should  know.  My 
winter  was  taken  up  in  preparations  for  leaving  home. 
Thanks  to  good  friends,  I  have  had  very  little  sewing  to 
do,  for  they  insisted  upon  doing  nearly  every  thing  for  me  ; 
and  you  may  be  sure  it  has  been  a  great  relief  to  mother 
as  well  as  to  myself.  I  wish  you  could  see  the  beautiful 
gifts  I  have  had.  Not  a  week  passes  without  bringing 
some  token  of  love  from  some  one  or  more  of  my  friends. 
They  have  remembered  many  things  that  I  had  not  thought 
of  as  necessary,  so  that  my  Eastern  home  will  be  most 
beautifully  supplied  M^ith  articles  for  my  personal  comfort. 

I  spent  nearly  all  the  month  of  March  in  New  Haven, 
with  my  dear  Mrs.  Fitch,  who  is  very  ill  indeed.  Death 
must  come  into  these  happy  circles  ;  but  it  is  blessed  to 
look  at  this  world  only  as  our  state  of  trial,  and  to  remem- 
ber the  world  where  rest  will  come.  And  is  it  not  sweet 
to  trust  ourselves  and  our  friends  in  the  hands  of  One  who 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  185 

meets  out  all  our  changes  in  wisdom  and  in  love  ?  He  has 
His  own  blessed  designs  to  fulfill,  is  carrying  on  His  cause 
in  our  world  ;  and  if  He  sees  it  to  be  necessary  for  the  tri- 
umph of  truth  and  holiness  that  we  suffer,  then  let  us  trust 
ourselves  in  His  hands,  and  feel  that  He  will  give  us 
strength  to  bear  all  which  He  sees  fit  to  lay  upon  us  in 
this  our  mortal  life. 

I  scarcely  dare  look  forward  a  few  weeks.  H.  is 
probably  now  on  the  ocean.  Dear  M.,  were  you  by  my 
side,  how  much  we  could  recount  of  all  the  way  in  which 
the  Lord  our  God  has  led  us.  ^When  I  think  of  all  that 
has  passed  in  my  life,  I  can  only  thank  my  Father  in  heaven 
for  all  his  mercies  ;  and  I  feel  that  I  am  the  least  of  all,  and 
the  most  unworthy  of  such  blessings. 

I  find  in  closing  that  I  have  not  begun  to  say  what  I 
wished*  I  intended  to  have  told  you  about  my  missionary 
work,  but  that  I  must  leave  till  a  future  time.  We  shall 
be  engaged  chiefly  with  the  Armenians.  I  feel  an  increas- 
ing interest  in  that  part  of  the  missionary  field,  and  0,  I 
hope  my  dear  M.,  that  I  shall  have  strength  to  consecrate 
my  whole  life  to  the  service  of  Christ,  and  may  be  the  in- 
strument of  some  good  to  that  benighted  people. 

During  the  past  month,  I  have  been  seeing  many  of  my 
dear  friends,  and  O,  my  heart  twines  around  them  so,  that 
if  I  did  not  trust  in  Jesus  to  bear  me  through  the  parting, 
I  could  never  leave  them  ;  but  1  look  to  Him,  and  I  can 
trust  all  that  I  love  in  His  hands,  and  feel  that  we  are  all 
united  in  the  same  glorious  cause,  and  have  the  same  heav- 
enly home  in  view.  You,  my  dear  M.,  will  ever  live  in 
my  heart  of  hearts,  and  the  memory  of  those  days  which 
we  spent  together  I  shall  ever  cherish  as  among  the  sweet- 
est of  my  life*" 

16* 


186  MRS.  MAUY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

To   Miss  B. 

"My  dear  Miss  B., — It  would  very  poorly  accord  with 
my  feelings  to  write  a  formal  note  of  thanks  to  the  friends 
who  have  so  kindly  united  with  you  in  your  labor  of  love  ; 
and  yet  I  wish  in  some  way  to  express  my  gratitude  for  the 
unwearied  efforts  which  have  been  made  to  render  my 
home  on  missionary  ground  comfortable  and  pleasant. 
Will  you  tell  the  ladies  from  me,  that  I  shall  ever  carry  the 
remembrance  of  their  kindness  in  my  heart,  and  that  I  do 
not  cease  to  pray  that  God  may  reward  and  bless  them. 
It  will  be  a  comfort  to  me  to  knov/  that  I  am  remembered 
in  your  prayers,  for  I  feel  more  and  more  every  day  my 
need  of  strength  from  above  to  prepare  me  for  the  duties 
which  may  soon  devolve  upon  me.  Life  is  of  so  little  im- 
portance unless  spent  for  the  glory  of  God,  that  I  long  to 
have  every  moment  of  mine  occupied  in  doing  His  will. 

Oh,  how  sweet  it  will  be,  when  this  life  is  over,  and 
when  all  the  redeemed  are  gathered  to  their  home  in  heav- 
en, to  meet  those  we  have  loved  here,  and  spend  an  eterni- 
ty with  them  in  the  praise  and  service  of  Christ.  Then,  it 
will  be  joy  to  us  to  reflect,  that  in  our  feeble  manner  we 
were  able  to  do  somethino;  for  the  kinodom  of  holiness  and 
peace  which  God  is  setting  up  in  this  world." 

When  Mary  was  called  to  contemplate  the  missionary 
field  as  the  scene  of  her  future  labors,  beforeideciding  to  en- 
ter upon  it,  she  examined  her  qualifications  for  the  work 
with  great  carefulness  and  fidelity.  The  work  of  missions 
was  in  her  estimation  a  great  work  ;  and  the  preparation 
which  she  deemed  necessary  for  entering  upon  it,  was 
something  more  than  external  accomplishments,  or  piety 
even  ;  she  felt  that  there  must  be  a  love  for  the  work  it- 
self; a  preference  of  it  to  any  other  work,  and  a  willing- 
ness to  make  personal  sacrifices  whenever  the  salvation  of 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


187 


souls  or  the  cause  of  Christ  should  in  any  way  require  it. 
As  has  been  seen  by  notices  in  her  journal,  she  had  a  con- 
stant sense  of  her  dependence  on  divine  aid  in  all  her  efforts 
to  promote  the  spiritual  welfare  of  others  ;  especially  was 
this  true  when  contemplating  her  qualifications  for  the 
work  of  missions.  She  had  from  early  youth  been  a  de- 
voted, self-denying  laborer  in  the  vineyard  of  Christ  at 
home,  but  now  that  her  field  was  about  being  changed, 
and  God  w-as  calling  her  "  to  the  deeply  responsible  work 
of  glorifying  Him  among  those  who  know^  Him  not,"  she 
felt  a  new  and  an  increased  sense  of  dependence  upon  Him 
for  aid;  and  under  a  deep  conviction  of  utter  helplessness 
if  left  to  herself,  she  "  resolved  not  to  go  one  step  alone, 
but  if  Jesus  would  only  go  with  her,  then  she  would  be 
willing  to  go  far  away  for  the  sake  of  His  cause.'* 

But  her  preparation  was  but  in  part  completed  when 
she  decided  with  regard  to  her  qualifications  for  laboring 
in  a  foreign  fisld.  Another  and  a  heav}^  responsibility  she 
felt  to  be  resting  upon  her — a  responsibility  which  she 
might  not  put  off  lightly,  or  lay  aside  without  seeking  coun- 
sel and  strength  from  above.  Providence  had  opened  be- 
fore her  a  wide  field  of  usefulness  in  her  native  place,  and 
had  qualified  her  well  to  fill  it  ;  and  she  loved  to  labor  in 
it,  and  was  daily  seeing  results  which  brought  joy  to  her 
heart,  and  encouraged  her  to  go  forward. 

Her  Sabbath  School  class,  how  could  she  leave  this  with- 
out knowing  that  each  dear  pupil  was  safe  in  the  fold .? 
She  had  a  trembling  hope  for  three  of  the  youthful  mem- 
bers of  her  class,  and  she  must  find  one  who  would  be  able 
to  watch  over  and  guide  these,  and  w^ho  should  also  have 
warm  hearted  piety,  that  so  she  might  win  to  the  Saviour 
those  whom  she  herself  must  leave  strangers  to  Him. 

The  dear  circle  of  intimate  friends  who  met  weekly  in 
her  room  to  unite  with  her  in  coming  to  the  throne  of 


Igg  MfeS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


grace,  would  these  continue  to  naeet  together  in  another 
place  of  prayer,  to  remember  her  as  well  as  themselves, 
when  she  should  no  longer  meet  with  them  ?  and  the 
friends  who  were  still  out  of  Christy  for  whose  conversion 
she  had  been  laboring  and  praying  a  long  time,  how  could 
she  leave  them  thus  ? 

Among  other  benevolent  objects  Avas  one  which  was 
dear  to  her  on  many  accounts.  It  was  a  youthful  sewing 
circle,  who  met  at  stated  times  to  work  for  the  *'  Grand 
Ligne  Mission."  In  this  circle  she  felt  at  home  ;  each 
member  was  to  her  as  a  younger  sister ;  and  she  had  pre-^ 
sided  over  it  with  untiring  cheerfulness  from  its  com- 
mencement. Finding  it  impossible  to  obtain  one  to  take 
her  place,  she  continued  to  preside  over  it  until  near  the 
time  of  her  leaving  homCj  and  then  was  obliged  to  commit 
the  dear  little  circle  to  Providence  and  their  own  efforts. 

A  number  of  young  girls  met  with  her  weekly  to  unite 
in  prayer.  Several  of  these  were  members  of  her  class  in 
the  Sabbath  school.  It  is  delightful  to  recollect  that  some 
of  the  number  continued  to  meet  at  the  same  hour,  and  in 
the  same  place  where  she  so  often  met  with  them,  until 
after  her  removal  from  this  world  ;  and  there  is  reason  to 
believe  that  having  knelt  with  her  here  at  the  throne  of 
grace,  they  will  one  day  bow  with  her  before  the  throne 
of  glory. 

When  she  committed  to  God  the  interests  which  were 
dear  to  her,  as  she  so  often  was  wont  to  do,  all  these  and 
more  also  were  included,  and  there  was  a  deeper  meaning* 
than  the  mere  words  implied. 

But  these  interests,  dear  as  they  were,  and  difficult  as  she 
found  it  to  dispose  of  them,  were  yet  in  her  estimation  not 
the  greatest  which  she  was  called  upon  to  resign*  Ties 
stronger  than  these  must  be  broken.  To  a  friend  she 
writes  thus^  "  I  find  that  my  heart  clings  so  strongly  to  my 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  189 

home,  that  I  shrink  from  the  future.  I  could  bear  it  for 
myself,  but  for  these  dear  parents,  I  feel  every  day,  that  I 
ought  not,  andean  not  go  and  leave  them."  But  the  lead- 
ings of  providence  were  direct  and  clear,  and  the  parents 
of  Mary  thought  it  right  and  felt  it  a  pleasure  to  smooth 
the  path  before  her,  and  to  yield  her  up  to  the  call  of  duty. 
Mary  was  married  to  the  Rev.  Henry  J.  Van  Lennep,  a 
missionary  under  the  patronage  of  the  American  Board, 
Sept.  4th,  1843,  and  sailed  with  him,  accompanied  by  her 
father,  in  October  following,  for  Smyrna.  A  few  ex- 
tracts from  last  letters  to  friends,  will  give  the  reader  some 
slight  idea  of  the  events  attendant  upon  her  leaving  home, 
and  also  of  her  feelings  at  the  time. 

To  M. 

Hartford,  Sept.  22,  1843. 

I  have  seized  my  pen  while  FI.  is  marking  our  trunks, 
to  tell  you  in  some  hasty  lines  what  I  have  been  longing  to 
tell  you  in  a  whole  sheet.  Dear  M.,  you  can  imagine, 
without  my  telling  you  particularly,  the  occupation,  and 
excitement,  and  overwhelming  care  and  thought,  which 
have  attended  these  few  months ;  and  you  will  not  won- 
der that  in  the  midst  of  it  all,  I  could  not  sit  down  and 
v/rite  to  an  absent  friend. 

You  probably  know  that  Sept.  4th  was  our  wedding- 
day.  We  started  the  next  day  for  the  Falls,  taking  Ro- 
chester and  the  meeting  of  the  American  Board  on  our 
return.  The  meetings  at  R  were  very  interesting,  and 
we  formed  some  delightful  Christian  acquaintances.  Our 
journey  was,  as  you  may  well  suppose,  full  of  deep  inter- 
est. And  now  we  are  lingering  for  a  few  days  in  our  be- 
loved home,  with  the  precious  circle  of  our  relatives  and 
friends  around  us,  soon  to  bid  adieu  to  all.  Oh,  may  God 
strengthen  them  and  us  for  the  parting. 


190  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

You  will  not  forget  to  pray  for  your  friends  who  are  so 
soon  to  be  removed  from  ihe  privileges  of  a  Christian  land. 
May  we  be  faithful  to  our  God,  and  to  the  cause  to  which 
we  devote  our  lives.  Dear  M.,  pray  for  my  poor  father 
and  mother.  There  is  a  world  where  we  may  all  be  hap* 
py  together.  We  try  to  fix  our  eyes  on  that  world.  May 
those  who  have  been  the  light  and  support  of  my  way 
through  all  my  early  years— may  they  reach  that  home 
"where  all  the  redeemed  shall  rest  in  peace. 

Dear  M.,  we  are  both  united  in  the  best  of  causes.  Let 
US  trust  our  Saviour.  O,  M.,  remember  my  father  and 
mother;  write  to  them  often.  Don't  forget  our  Sabbath 
evenings.     Good  bye.     God  bless  you* 

Ever  your  friend  and  sister, 

M.  E.  V.  L. 

To  Mrs.  F. 

Sept.  37th,  1843. 

My  dear  Aunt  S.  We  are  on  the  eve  of  our  departure, 
and  the  day  after  to-morrow,  we  take  our  last  look  of  our 
dear  home.  The  Piano  and  my  little  bureau  are  now 
being  packed,  and  our  house  is  very  sad  indeed.  I  have 
come  to  my  room  to  say  my  parting  words  to  my  dear, 
dear  friend.  How  much  I  shall  want  to  see  you  !  How 
often  my  thoughts  will  fly  back  to  New  Haven,  and  will 
seek  your  room  ;  and  when  we  are  tossing  on  the  ocean,  I 
shall  turn  to  the  quiet  homes  of  my  friends  and  give  them 
many  thoughts,  but  not  regrets.  Oh,  no,  I  am  not  sorry  I 
am  going.  I  am  not  afraid  of  the  deep,  dark  waves.  I 
have  committed  my  way  to  the  Lord,  and  my  trust  is  in 
Him;  and  my  prayer  to  Him  is,  that  my  selfish  heart  may 
become  pure  and  disinterested,  ready  to  take  hold  of  any 
labor  that  will  advance  his  kingdom  and  glory. 

My  dear  Aunt  S.,  you  know   how   I  remember  your 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  jgj 

words  of  counsel ;  how  I  have  laid  up  in  my  heart  all  the 
treasures,  which  intercourse  with  you  through  many  years 
has  collected.  May  God  reward  you  for  the  good  you 
have  done  me.  You  and  dear  Dr.  F,  have  been  pre- 
cious friends  to  me. 

I  have  not  begun  to  tell  you  what  I  wish,  but  I  shall  try 
to  find  time  on  board  ship  to  write  you  a  long  letter.  May 
God  take  us  all  safely  throuo;h  this  changing  world,  and 
bring  us  to  His  heavenly  kingdom.  To  Him  I  trust  the 
future.  To  His  care  I  commit  my  dear  parents  and  brother; 
He  can  supply  all  their  need.  Oh,  you  know  what  we  all 
feel  now.     Pray  for  us. ' 

Ev^er  your  affectionate, 
Mary  E.  V.  L. 

The  parting  from  the  home  of  her  childhood  can  never 
be  put  on  paper.  Often  as  the  scene  occurs,  it  comes 
with  a  first  painful  freshness  to  every  one  who  passes 
through  it ;  and  to  one  who  has  not  felt  what  it  is,  it  can 
never  be  described  with  any  thing  like  the  overwhelming 
,  reality. 

After  leaving  home,  Mary  spent  a  week  very  pleasantly 
amongst  friends  in  Boston,  and  from  that  place,  sailed  for 
her  eastern  home  the  eleventh  of  October. 

The  morning  of  that  day  rose  clear  and  bright — adieus 
had  all  been  spoken  ;  the  last  parting  with  the  parent  who 
was  to  be  left  behind  had  been  anticipated  ;  the  secret 
chamber  and  the  presence  of  God  only  having  been  wit- 
ness to  that  scene  ;  and  now  only  the  public  exercises  on 
board  remained  to  be  performed. 

At  10  o'clock  the  deck  of  the  Stamboul  was  throns'ed 

o 

with  sympathizing  friends,  who  were  there,  not  so  much  to 
give  and  take  the  parting  look,  as  to  commend  the  little 
company  who  were  to  encounter  the  perils  of  the  deep. 


192  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  some  of  whom  were  to  take  up  their  residence   in  a 
far  distant  land,  to  the  protection  and  blessing  of  God. 

The  prayer  was  offered,  the  parting  hymn  was  sung, 
the  vessel  was  loosed  from  her  hold,  and  bore  away  on  her 
outward  course.  As  she  swept  by  the  projecting  wharf, 
Mary  was  seated  on  the  deck,  her  husband  and  father 
standing  protectingly  by  her  on  either  side  ;  but  her  heart 
was  not  with  them  then.  One  object  on  the  shore  rivet- 
ted  her  attention.  It  was  her  mother.  A  friend  who 
witnessed  the  scene,  in  speaking  of  it  afterwards  to  that 
mother  said,  "  She  looked  as  if  she  would  have  taken  her 
heart  out,  and  left  it  with  you."  A  mother's  feelings  in 
parting  from  a  daughter  in  such  circumstances  have  been 
expressed  by  the  poet  in  a  manner  strikingly  true  and 
beautiful. 


"  Yet  go,  my  spirit  goes  with  thee 
Yet  go,  thy  spirit  stays  with  me  ! " 


One  white  signal  seen  through  the  shrouds  of  other 
vessels,  marked  the  path  of  the  Stamboul,  as  she  gently 
glided  along  amidst  the  dense  forest  of  masts  which  lined 
the  harbor.  At  length  she  was  seen  through  an  opening 
vista,  in  bold  relief  on  the  clear  blue  sky,  all  her  canvas 
spread,  and  every  sail  filled.  Another  turn,  and  that  bark 
with  its  precious  freight  disappeared  from  the  straining  eye. 

To  her  Mother,  by  the  Pilot-boat. 

Boston  Harbor,  Oct.  11th,  1843. 

My  dear  Mother.  I  write  in  full  view  of  Boston  where 
you  are,  and  am  sitting  where  last  you  saw  me,  looking 
on  the  waves,  the  clear  sky,  the  city — all  is  beautiful  ! 
and  God  is  with  us,  and  with  you,  and  He  will  keep  us 
united  in  heart. 

Dear  mother,  my  own  dear  mother,  you  are  not  sorry 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  193 

we  are  going.  You  know  why  we  go.  It  is  not  for  our 
own  pleasure  ;  it  is  God  who  has  appointed  our  way;  and 
I  do  think  we  go  for  Him,  and  shall  live  for  Him  in  every 
thing. 

Dear  mother,  pray  that  we  may  be  wholly  devoted  to 
our  Saviour  ;  that  the  salvation  of  all  may  appear  so  im- 
portant to  us,  that  we  shall  be  always  earnestly  engaged 
in  leading  many  to  Christ.  Pray  that  we  may  never  for- 
get the  object  of  our  mission.  Good  bye,  my  precious 
mother,  we  are  all  in  God's  hand,  and  He  can  sustain  us. 
I  have  not  a  fear  if  God  will  only  enable  us  to  do  right. 

2  o'clock.  My  dear  Mother.  The  beautiful  breeze 
which  took  us  from  the  wharf  died  away  soon  after,  and 
now  we  are  becalmed  in  the  harbor.  I  remained  on  deck 
a  little  while  after  writing  your  note,  and  then  came  down 
and  arranged  the  thinojs  in  our  state  room.  Then  H.  came 
and  we  read  together  the  14th  chapter  of  John.  Is  n't  it 
a  sweet  chapter  ?  Since  then  I  have  been  on  deck  till  just 
now,  looking  at  Boston — at  the  State  House,  and  I  knew 
that  Mrs.  B's.,  where  you  were,  was  near  there.  It  is  a 
dear  land,  and  I  could  not  bear  the  thought  of  leaving  it 
and  you,  if  I  did  not  feel  that  God  had  ordered  it,  and  that 
He  would  go  with  me,  and  make  me  useful.  When  we 
sat  on  deck,  I  heard  the  waves  dashing  on  the  shore  with 
a  ceaseless  rush. 

My  mother,  when  you  go  back  to  H.  and  the  house 
seems  lonely,  do  not  think  you  are  alone,  for  my  heart  is 
with  you.  God  will  keep  us,  and  we  shall  meet  again. 
Blessed  thought !  we  certainly  shall  meet  again,  if  we 
trust  in  Christ  and  are  faithful  to  Him,  where  there  are  no 
more  partings.  Dear  E.  God  keep  him  and  make  him  a 
Christian. 

Once  more,  my  dear  mother,  good  bye. 

Your  own  dau2:hter, 
17    _  Mary. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

EXTRACT    OF    A     JOURNAL    KEPT     WHILE      CROSSING 
THE    ATLANTIC. 

Barh  Stamhoul,  October  21st,  1843. 

My  dearest  mother, — This  evening  is  the  first  time  I 
have  been  able  to  succeed  in  commencing  the  journal  to 
which  we  have  looked  forward  with  an  interest  both  pain- 
ful and  pleasant.  And  you  see  by  my  writing  that  the 
motion  of  the  vessel  prevents  my  doing  it  very  easily.  But 
I  do  so  long  to  write  you  what  is  passing.  1  have  tliought 
so  many  long  letters  to  you  since  we  parted,  that  1  must 
begin,  spite  of  all  the  dithculties.  Oh,  how  beautiful  my 
home  looks  !  How  blessed  all  the  days  that  I  have  spent 
there  !  My  heart  returns  to  it  with  such  a  longing  that  at 
times  the  separation  is  almost  insupportable.  But  I  do  not 
want  to  fill  my  journal  with  these  things,  neither  for  your 
sake  nor  mine.  Dear  mother,  it  is  God's  will,  and  he  will 
render  this  discipline  useful  to  ourselves  and  to  others  too. 

While  I  was  writing  your  second  note  in  my  stateroom, 
I  felt  very  dizzy,  but  I  was  determined  to  finish  it,  so  that 
Mr.  Hill  could  carry  it  to  you  ;  so  as  soon  as  I  had  sealed 
it,  I  ran  up  on  the  quarter  deck,  and  stood  by  H.  to  breathe 
the  fresh  air.  We  watched  the  land,  all  the  islands  about 
Boston,  and  the  beautiful  shores.  Several  gentlemen  went 
with  us  and  returned  in  the  pilot  boat  called  the  Breeze. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  19§ 

Between  three  and  four,  they  shook  hands  with  us  and  wish- 
ed us  a  pleasant  voyage,  and  then  one  by  one  descended  to 
the  little  boat,  which  took  them  to  the  Breeze.  Then  we 
were  all  alone,  our  little  company,  shut  up  for  a  long 
voyage. 

We  had  dinner  about  four,  but  I  could  not  go  down.  I 
sat  on  a  cannon  and  leaned  my  head  against  the  side  of 
the  ship,  while  H.  brought  me  the  old  cloak.  But 
soon  I  was  too  ill  to  sit  up  and  I  went  down  to  my  berth. 
Thursday  morning  I  was  still  sick,  and  could  not  bear  the 
thought  of  eating,  and  heard  to  my  horror,  as  the  gentle- 
men were  talking  around  the  breakfast  table,  that  eating 
cured  sea-sickness  and  eat  a  person  must.  Steward  brought 
chicken  tea,  but  it  made  me  very  sick,  and  then  H.  took 
me  on  deck  a  little  while,  and  then  back  to  my  berth, 
where  I  passed  the  afternoon  dozing  and  thinking  of  home, 
and  of  you,  and  of  the  good  cold  water  in  the  well.  Oh, 
how  often  I  tried  to  imagine  that  Clara  was  bringing  me  a 
glass  of  fresh  water  ;  and  then  I  longed  for  ice,  till  I  almost 
thought  I  had  it  in  my  mouth. 

Oh,  how  much  I  thought  of  you  that  afternoon,  and 
prayed  for  you,  and  thought  of  your  reaching  home.  Dear 
mother,  did  not  Christ  support  you  ? 

I  counted  the  hours,  and  thought  when  you  would  take 
your  tea.  lam  continually  imagining  what  you  are  about. 
I  follow  you  in  all  your  daily  duties. 

Sabbath  my  heart  all  went  home.  I  heard  the  church 
bells,  saw  the  bright  faces  of  the  Sunday  school  girls,  look- 
ed in  upon  you  at  your  Sunday  dinner,  and  imagined  you 
reading  to  E.  afterwards. 

As  M.  was  able  to  be  brought  on  deck,  we  sat  together 
and  talked  of  home.  1  forgot  to  say  that  on  Friday  eve- 
ning we  commenced  family  prayers.  The  crew  are  not 
present.     In  the  afternoon  we  had  preaching  on  deck.     I 


196  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

wish  a  painter  could  have  drawn  the  group.  It  was  a 
clear  afternoon  about  four  o'clock.  Some  of  the  gentle- 
men leaned  over  from  the  upper  deck.  The  crew  sat  in  a 
row  and  looked  intently  at  father,  and  the  two  mates  sat 
on  the  raised  place  where  you  and  I  stood  together  ;  you 
remember  it.  Dr.  A.  and  father  stood  near  the  cabin  door, 
and  then  we  sang,  and  father,  who  had  suffered  much  from 
sea-sickness,  prayed  and  preached  a  short  extemporaneous 
sermon,  and  it  was  quite  like  Sabbath  day.  I  had  thought 
the  day  would  not  be  very  profitable  nor  pleasant,  but  it 
was  both.  In  the  evening  we  sang  sacred  music  in  the 
cabin,  all  the  good  tunes  that  you  love,  and  I  retired  with 
that  quiet  feeling  which  a  sweet  Sabbath  always  gives. 

Monday  the  16th  was  a  wild  day  ;  our  first  hard  wind, 
and  a  head  wind  loo.  We  reached  the  outside  of  the  gulf 
stream,  and  the  weather  is  always  warmer  there,  and  apt 
to  be  stormy.  Our  introduction  was  rather  a  hard  one. 
I  attempted  to  sit  at  dinner,  but  was  obliged  to  remove 
with  my  plate  up  stairs,  for  the  ship  rolled  and  pitched  in 
a  remarkable  manner,  and  the  spray  came  washing  over 
the  deck.  O,  what  an  afternoon  and  night  we  bad. 
There  was  no  rest  for  us.  We  heard  the  wind  screaming 
through  the  cordage,  and  while  we  lay  in  our  berths,  the 
heavy  tramp  of  the  sailors,  and  all  the  sounds  connected 
with  a  storm  kept  us  from  sleep.  Tuesday  passed  in  a 
tossing  manner,  cloudy,  and  I  think  showery  too  ;  but 
Tuesday  night  passes  all  my  powers  of  description  for  dis- 
comfort. O,  our  rolling  and  tossing,  and  the  sliding  about 
of  every  moveable  thing  was  wonderful.  I  wish  you  could 
have  seen  our  stateroom  on  Wednesday  morning.  In  the 
course  of  the  night  every  loose  article  had  toppled  down 
and  lay  in  a  mass  of  confusion  on  the  floor.  The  bowl 
which  had  been  used  for  arrowroot,  was  rolling  from  one 
side  to  the  other,   and  the  two   spoons  were  following  iV 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  197 

Bang  went  the  folding  doors  every  few  moments,  like  can- 
non, and  bang  went  the  backs  of  the  settees  also,  and 
creak,  creak,  said  the  rudder,  while  a  confused  chorus  of 
movables  filled  in  all  the  spaces  of  time.  In  the  morning 
our  "  intellects"  to  say  nothing  more,  "  were  all  up  in 
heaps."  The  only  way  to  cure  such  things  is  to  go  on 
deck  ;  there  the  fresh  wind  generally  puts  all  things  right. 
There  was  one  day  we  could  not  go  on  deck  at  all,  it  was 
so  stormy.  The  only  thing  to  do  at  such  times  is  to  lie 
still  in  our  berths.  Those  days  we  could  do  very  little. 
I  tried  now  and  then  to  open  my  crewel  work,  but  the 
least  motion  seemed  a  burden,  and  sitting  up  below  made 
me  sick. 

Friday  the  20th  was  a  glorious  day.  During  the  night 
it  had  cleared  off,  and  in  the  morning  a  grand  breeze  was 
carrying  us  between  ten  and  eleven  miles  an  hour.  The 
waves  were  magnificent.  It  was  very  hard  to  keep  our 
position  for  a  single  moment ;  but  in  the  afternoon,  though 
they  tossed  us  still,  they  were  not  quite  so  high,  and  I 
came  down  and  took  out  my  things,  and  arranged  my 
state  room  in  nice  order,  without  feeling  sick  at  all.  I  had 
not  been  able  to  do  it  before,  since  I  came  on  board.  Sat- 
urday morning  as  I  awoke  early,  I  took  my  crewel  as  I  lay 
in  my  berth,  and  had  an  hour  to  work  in  before  breakfast 
time.  The  only  tedious  hours  are  from  daylight  till  break- 
fast, which  is  not  till  half  past  eight.  It  makes  the  night 
seem  very  long  to  retire  as  we  do  about  nine,  but  all  the 
rest  of  the  time  flies. 

Tuesday  24.th.  Sabbath  22d  was  not  clear  but  the  rain 
was  most  providentially  detained  till  after  our  service, 
which  was  at  ten  in  the  moi'ning.  Father  preached  from 
the  text  "  Behold  I  lay  in  Zion,"  a  written  sermon,  but  he 
made  selections  from  it.  We  sang  Ariel,  '*  Oh,  could  I 
17* 


198  MI^S.  MAEY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

speak  the  matchless  worth,"  and  Ward,  to  the  words 
*'  When  I  survey  the  wondrous  cross."  After  service  it 
rained,  so  we  all  came  down  stairs. 

We  have  an  Italian  on  board,  a  servant  of  Mr.  F.,  who 
is  an  excellent  cook,  and  sometimes  he  makes  us  very  nice 
dishes,  but  our  cook  who  is  a  miserable  one,  is  quite  jeal- 
ous of  him,  and  Guseppe  can  not  do  as  much  as  he  would. 
But  last  Sabbath  he  cooked  our  dinner,  and  though  I  felt 
very  sorry  that  so  much  time  should  be  spent  in  cooking 
an  extra  dinner  on  that  sacred  day,  I  could  not  help  relish- 
ing his  dishes.  Our  poor  bodies  occupy,  at  sea,  the  most 
of  our  attention.  We  are  continually  contriving  for  our 
appetites,  for  we  become  more  and  more  dainty.  Our 
cook  tries  to  make  bread  and  pastry,  but  both  are  misera- 
ble, so  we  eat  ship  crackers.  Every  day  steward  roasts 
apples  for  the  ladies,  and  these  are  very  fine.  The  best 
part  of  our  dinner  is  the  fine  dish  of  apples  that  always  ap- 
pears last.  Our  water,  as  you  may  suppose,  is  not  good, 
I  can  scarcely  be  willing  to  taste  it  ;  but  we  put  the  cur- 
rant jelly  in  sometimes,  and  sometimes  the  soda  powders, 
and  sometimes  go  without. 

Wednesday^  October  25tk.  We  have  had  a  fine  wind 
to-day,  and  after  the  bad  winds  of  the  last  few  days,  it  has 
done  our  spirits  good  to  know  we  were  going  so  fast  to 
Gibraltar.  That  is  the  point  to  which  we  are  now  look- 
ing, and  where,  if  this  wind  continues,  we  can  be  in  a  week 
or  ten  days.     We  are  already  1600  miles  from  America. 

Monday  the  23d  was  a  very  mild  day.  I  never  before 
felt  the  sun  so  hot  in  October.  At  times  it  would  be  op- 
pressive were  it  not  for  the  winds.  That  day,  I  began 
reading  to  H.  in  French,  and  trying  in  earnest  to  speak  it. 
The  nearer  we  get  to  Smyrna,  the  more  I  long  to  be  able 
to  speak  it  easily. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  jgg 

Yesterday  was  again  warm  and  beautiful,  but  the  wind 
was  unfavorable.  After  dinner  we  had  our  trunks  brought 
on  deck,  looked  over  our  things,  and  got  at  last  fairly  set- 
tled for  our  voyage.  Our  state  room  is  in  nice  order,  and 
we  are  as  comfortable  as  we  can  expect.  Our  captain  is 
uncommonly  kind  and  attentive.  Every  morning  he  has 
had  a  matrass  spread  on  the  deck  in  the  stern,  and  a  cover- 
ing spread  over  it,  where  the  ladies  can  sit  or  recline  at 
their  pleasure. 

To-day  our  fair  wind  has  made  all  our  hearts  happy,  but 
it  has  made  some  of  our  company  sick.  It  has  been  im- 
possible to  walk  on  deck,  or  even  stand,  and  I  sat  on  the 
little  bench  on  the  quarter  deck,  where  the  chickens  are 
kept,  and  while  H,  read,  succeeded  in  spite  of  the  winds, 
in  making  a  bag  to  put  some  of  our  articles  in.  After  din- 
ner read  French,  and  then  H.  told  me  many  things  about 
Smyrna,  until  the  sun  had  gone  down,  and  the  new  moon, 
like  a  silver  thread,  looked  now  and  then  from  among  the 
clouds. 

Dear  mother,  I  never  was  so  far  from  you  before.  But 
here,  on  this  mighty  ocean,  our  Heavenly  Father  is  as 
near  as  when  we  are  on  land  ;  and  it  is  very  sweet  to 
remember  our  absent  friends,  as  we  do  each  evening  in  our 
prayers. 

Thursday^  October  26th.  To-day,  my  dear  mother, 
has  been,  not  only  the  most  delightful  day  on  sea,  but  the 
most  delicious  day  for  October  that  you  can  imagine. 
Warm  as  early  September,  and  (he  clouds  floating  in  a 
clear  blue  sky  like  summer  weather.  We  are  about  three 
hundred  miles  from  the  Western  Islands,  and  from  there 
to  Gibraltar  is  nine  hundred  miles.  All  our  invalids  are 
better  to-day  ;  every  one  has  been  on  deck.  For  several 
mornings  Mr.  T.  has  said,  "  Steward,  we  can't  get  our 


200  ^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ladies  up  till  they  have  their  roast  apples,"  but  this  morn- 
ing we  took  them  on  deck. 

We  go  at  the  rate  of  seven  miles  an  hour,  but  as  the 
wind  is  directly  aft,  we  feel  almost  no  motion.  Our  stern 
windows  are  open,  and  the  pleasant  music  of  the  waters 
comes  in  continually,  and  we  sail  along  as  smoothly  as  if 
no  storm  had  ever  ruffled  the  gentle  billows.  I  have  had 
the  luxury  of  sea  life  to-day ;  and  to-night  feel  quite  con- 
tented with  my  ocean  home  and  ocean  life.  But  how 
soon  the  scene  may  change,  and  storm  and  darkness  come 
back  again  !  As  I  sit  on  the  deck,  in  the  warm  sun,  with 
my  sewing,  I  have  nice  times  to  think.  O,  it  seems  good 
to  recal  my  poor  scattered  thoughts,  after  the  whirl  they 
have  been  in  so  long.  But  I  have  many  things  that  need 
attending  to  within. 

M.  has  been  on  deck  most  of  the  day.  I  sat  by  her 
during  the  morning,  on  the  quarter  deck,  by  the  mizzen 
mast,  and  while  I  sewed,  we  talked  together  about  many 
things.  After  dinner  M.  came  on  deck,  and  again  we  sat 
in  the  same  place,  and  H.  read  to  us  while  I  worked  on  my 
crewel.  Our  afternoons  are  very  short,  for  dinner  is  not 
over  till  three,  and  the  sun  sets  quite  early  now.  We 
watched  the  beautiful  sunset,  and  then  the  new  moon  shone 
out  softly,  and  M.  saw  the  first  star  she  had  seen  since  she 
left  land.  How  beautiful  the  stars  are  on  the  ocean. 
The  evening  is  lovely  as  the  day  has  been.  We  have  just 
had  our  family  prayers,  and  here,  on  this  wide  ocean,  we 
find  these  seasons  very  precious.  I  can  not  but  hope  that 
this  family  worship  will  do  good  to  some  on  board.  The 
crew  do  not  attend,  but  the  passengers  must,  I  am  sure,  be 
benefited.  I  am  getting  to  like  my  ocean  life  very  much. 
I  have  plenty  to  do,  and  then  as  every  thing  about  the  sea 
is  new  to  me,  there  is  no  monotony.     My  time  is  fully  oc- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  gQl 

cupied  with  a  pleasant  variety  of  duties,  and  tliere  is  no 
want  of  society. 

21th.  During  the  night  the  wind  freshened,  and  to-day 
we  have  enjoyed  the  consciousness  that  our  rolling  home 
was  going  very  fast  to  Gibraltar.  We  have  had  quite 
variety  enough  to-day,  and  some  sport  too.  The  motion 
of  the  ship  was  so  violent  that  it  was  hard  to  keep  our 
position,  and  father  who  was  sitting  with  us  in  the  cabin, 
felt  it  very  much.  Suddenly  the  ship  gave  a  great  roll, 
which  upset  every  thing  which  could  be  upset,  ourselves 
too  nearly,  and  the  water  came  pouring  in  through  the 
port  holes  in  our  state  rooms.  Plenty  of  work  we  had  and 
plenty  of  fun.  Fortunately  our  own  M^as  nearly  closed, 
but  Mr.  T.'s  berth  took  a  large  quantity  of  salt  water.  All 
but  the  steward  enjoyed  the  wetting  highly,  but  he,  poor 
fellow,  had  too  much  to  do  with  the  drying  part  to  feel 
very  good  natured  about  it.  About  one  o'clock  I  took  my 
book  and  tried  sitting  on  deck.  H.  tied  me  and  my  chair 
to  the  mizzen  mast,  and  I  was  able  to  read  an  hour,  spite 
of  the  rolling  of  the  ship. 

October  2Sth.  About  twelve  this  noon,  the  wind,  which 
had  died  away  during  the  night,  began  to  freshen,  and  con- 
tinued to  do  so  all  the  afternoon,  and  now  we  go  at  an 
astonishing  rate,  I  think  twelve  miles  an  hour  ;  H.  says 
faster  than  he  ever  sailed  before  in  a  vessel.  We  are  pass- 
ing the  Western  Islands,  though  they  lie  nearly  one  hun- 
dred miles  south.  We  are  to  pass  between  them  and  the 
main  land,  but  shall  not  see  them. 

Oct.  Slst.  Since  I  wrote  we  have  had  wild  times, 
which  I  scarcely  can  describe  at  all.  The  gale  which  was 
blowing  when  we  retired  on  Saturday  night,  increased  so 
that  sleep  forsook  us,  and  we  could  only  lie  and  toss  and 
roll  with  every  motion  of  the  ship. 


202  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

To-day  things  have  become  quiet,  and  I  have  been  able 
to  return  to  my  work,  and  my  usual  ship  duties,  so  that 
the  sorrows  of  our  stormy  days  are  fast  receding,  even 
from  memory.  In  a  warm  sunny  sky  and  smooth  sea,  all 
traces  of  tempests  disappear.  But  I  do  dread  a  storm 
again  ;  not  for  any  one  thing  in  particular,  but  for  the  all 
things  in  general.  The  exceeding  uncomfortableness  of 
every  thing.  It  is  impossible  to  keep  our  position,  either 
sitting,  standing,  or  in  our  berths.  There  is  nothing  to  be 
done  but  to  roll  with  every  motion  of  the  crazy  ship,  till 
all  ones  bones  ache.  Then  the  cabin  has  such  a  gloomy 
and  deserted  air ;  the  doors  are  all  closed,  except  one  half, 
and  through  that  comes  now  and  then,  splashing  down  the 
stairs,  a  large  wave,  to  wash  the  floors  of  both  cabin  and 
state-rooms.  Every  thing  gets  damp  and  wet,  the  air  be- 
comes stifled.  Every  body  feels  the  languor  and  uncom- 
fortableness of  being  obliged  to  stay  in  a  narrow  berth. 
Even  if  sea-sickness  does  not  add  itself  to  the  catalogue  of 
evils,  the  mind  becomes  gloomy  and  dispirited,  and  it 
seems  as  if  one  would  feel  forlorn  to  the  end  of  life.  I  do 
not  say  that  all  the  company  felt  exactly  so.  I  believe 
two  or  three  of  our  gentlemen  passed  through  our  trials 
quite  comfortably. 

Wednesday/  morn,  Nov.  Isf.  When  I  bade  you  good 
night,  I  intended  to  spend  a  part  of  this  morning  in  writ- 
ing, but  I  can  go  on  only  very  slowly,  the  motion  is  so 
great.  We  are  now  about  300  miles  from  the  coast  of 
Spain.  Do  you  not  think  my  imagination  must  be  filled 
with  thoughts  of  the  old  Spanish  days  of  chivalry  and  re- 
nown— of  Grenada  too,  and  its  thousand  associations. 
How  strange  it  is  that  I  should  be  here  !  and  yet  I  am  so 
far  from  realising  that  I  have  left  America,  that  I  contin- 
ually, in  conversing,  use  the  word  he?'ej  when  I  am  speak- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  203 

ing  of  persons  and  events  at  home.  It  seems  as  if  I  have 
only  stepped  from  the  wharf  into  the  vessel,  and  am  still 
in  America.  But  when  once  I  get  sight  of  the  coast  of 
sunny  Spain,  and  see  its  old  castles  frowning  on  the  sea, 
my  dream  will  vanish,  and  I  shall  feel  that  1  have  indeed 
left  the  land  of  my  birth. 

I  have  a  confused  recollection  of  the  days  when  the 
wind  was  so  violent,  and  I  only  wish  to  remember  it  long 
enough  to  tell  you  about  it.  The  sun  shone  brightly  on 
Sabbath,  and  the  sky  so  beautifully  blue  and  serene,  was 
a  great  contrast  to  the  dashing  scene  beneath  it.  Now 
and  then,  a  shower  would  for  a  few  moments  obscure  the 
sun,  and  then  all  would  be  bright  again.  Between  three 
and  four  in  the  afternoon,  H.  urged  me  to  go  to  the  cabin 
door,  the  sight  was  so  fine.  It  seemed  almost  impossible 
to  do  it,  but  with  much  exertion  I  managed  to  get  my 
things  on,  and  with  IJ.'s  assistance  went  up  the  stairs. 
Then,  mother,  and  not  till  then,  I  saw  the  ocean.  You 
have  read  enough  descriptions  of  "  ocean  waves,"  and 
"  ocean  tempests,"  and  any  thing  that  I  can  say,  will  not 
make  them  any  more  vivid  than  they  now  are  in  your 
mind,  but  to  really  know  what  a  storm  is,  you  must  with 
your  own  eyes  witness  it,  and  then  you  will  understand 
what  mountain  waves  mean.  The  decks  were  lonely  and 
deserted,  and  the  waves  ran  over  them  in  undisputed  pos- 
session. Occasionally  a  sailor  in  his  oil-cloth  dress,  drip- 
ping with  water,  would  appear  at  the  vessel's  side,  stoop- 
ing to  escape  the  waves  which  broke  momently  over  the 
ship.  We  stood  on  the  stairs,  looking  out  at  the  door,  only 
half  of  which  was  open,  and  when  the  waves  came  we 
hid  our  faces  from  the  spray.  You  remember  there  is  a 
step  from  the  deck  upon  the  cabin  stairs,  which  prevents 
the  water  from  running  down,  excepting  when  a  wave 
is  borne  directly  over  the  ship's  side  down  through  the 


204  ^^^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

cabin  door  v/ithout  touching  the  deck.  There  we  remained 
about  an  hour,  watching  the  most  magnificent  scene  which 
my  eye  ever  beheld.  Above,  the  sky  was  beautifully  blue, 
and  the  clouds  dazzlingly  white,  or  tinged  with  that  deli- 
cately yellow  light  which  we  have  so  often  admired  in  our 
sunsettings  at  home.  Around  us  the  ocean  dashed  in  its 
fury.  I  could  not  resist  the  impression,  that  some  of  its 
long  waves  like  vast  hills,  were  land  instead  of  water. 
We  had  scarcely  reached  our  state-room  when  a  large  wave 
came  rolling  down  the  stairs  into  the  cabin.  We  were 
safe.  That  night  I  slept  from  extreme  fatigue,  but  had 
sad  and  troubled  dreams.  About  midnight  we  were 
awakened  by  hearing  the  water  rolling  and  dashing  into  the 
cabin.  H.  sprung  to  close  our  door,  and  then  we  lay  still 
to  hear  what  would  be  done  next.  We  heard  Mr.  T., 
whose  berth  is  next  ours,  calling  out  in  a  tone  almost  des- 
perate to  the  captain.  "What,  you  wet.^"  captain  ex- 
claims. "  Up  to  my  knees  in  water,"  rejoined  Mr.  T.  The 
captain  was  also  nearly  swimming  in  his  room.  But  pails 
were  brought,  and  carpet  bags,  trunks,  shoes,  &c.,  were 
fished  up  out  of  the  water,  amid  the  laughs  and  jokes  of 
the  poor  sufferers  ;  for  the  only  way  is  to  take  things  mer- 
rily. One  must  be  good  natured  if  he  is  soaking  in  his 
berth. 

Monday  the  wind  was  still  wild,  and  we  sped  along  our 
course,  while  the  sounds  in  the  cordage  were  as  if  the  full 
ocean  band  were  busily  at  work  at  their  wild  harmonies. 
Yet  in  the  course  of  the  day  the  sea  became  calmer,  and 
faces  became  a  little  more  bright,  while  our  company,  one 
by  one,  crept  on  deck  towards  evening,  to  get  revived  by 
some  fresh  air.  That  evening  we  had  prayers  and  retired 
quite  comfortable. 

Nov.  Ist.     Yesterday  was  beautiful  and  we  enjoyed  the 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LEXNEP.  205 

deck,  though  occasionally  a  shower  would  send  us  below 
for  five  minutes.  It  is  surprising  how  quickly  a  shower 
comes  and  goes  on  the  sea.  You  scarcely  perceive  the 
clouds  till  you  feel  the  drops  on  your  face,  and  a  moment 
after  the  sun  appears  bright  as  before.  The  storm  has 
made  sad  work  with  M.  and  Dr.  A.  and  father  ;  they  all 
want  cheering.  Atter  dinner  I  sewed  in  the  cabin,  striv- 
ing to  cheer  M.  Then  H.  came  for  me  to  see  the  sun  set. 
It  was  a  golden  sky,  and  after  the  clouds  faded,  the  moon 
looked  calmly  down  on  our  bark,  as  it  danced  on  over 
the  waves.  Just  after  tea  I  sat  with  H.  a  short  time  on 
deck  to  enjoy  the  moonlight,  and  in  the  evening  i  talked 
with  dear  father  of  home,  and  the  friends,  the  loved 
friends  there,  and  after  prayer,  I  wrote  in  my  journal. 

The  nights  in  my  berth  I  am  very  weary  of  To  lie  in 
such  a  narrow  space  is  very  hard.  But  we  have  many 
comforts  and  I  do  not  complain.  A  fine  breeze  is  now 
carrying  us  on  our  course,  and  we  are  all  in  good  spirits. 

While  I  have  been  writing,  Guseppe  came  below  and 
announced  a  ship,  and  another  one  is  just  now  on  the  verge 
of  the  horizon.  They  are  the  first  we  have  seen  for  sev- 
enteen days.  Now  as  we  are  near  the  coast  we  hope  to 
see  them.  I  wish  we  might  see  an  East  Indiaman.  This 
is  M.  S.'s  birth-day,  and  I  intend  writing  her  a  note.  She 
marked  it  in  my  Daily  Food,  and  father  thinks  of  using  the 
verse  for  a  text  for  a  sermon. 

I  shall  begin  to-day  a  letter  to  send  from  Gibraltar.  Capt. 
says  H.  may  go  ashore  with  him  there,  though  we  shall 
stop  only  two  hours.     Oh,  to  see  Gibraltar  ! 

Thursday  morning.     I  have  just  finished  a  letter  to  send 
you  from  Gibraltar.     If  our  wind  continues  we  shall  reach 
there  day  after  to-morrow.     I  have  filled  a  sheet,  and  yet  I 
18 


206  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

have  said  almost  nothing  that  I  wished.  I  wanted  to  tell 
you  my  thoughts  and  feelings,  and  to  say  something  about 
Boston,  and  about  your  home  plans,  and  to  send  some 
little  word  to  my  friends.  My  heart  was  too  full  to  put 
down  on  paper,  and  I  have  said  almost  nothing  I  wished. 
As  soon  as  tea  was  over,  I  went  and  sat  by  father  in  the 
back  part  of  the  cabin,  and  had  a  long  talk  with  him. 
How  much  his  heart  yearns  for  home  !  He  has  not  borne 
the  ship  part  well  at  all,  and  suffers  for  want  of  exercise. 
We  talked,  too,  of  the  passengers,  and  how  much  it  was 
to  be  desired  that  some  good  should  be  done  while  with 
our  compaay.  Soon  we  separate,  never  to  meet  till  at 
God's  bar. 

My  dear,  dear  Mother,  we  are  in  sight  of  land — all  on 
deck  looking,  but  I  have  just  run  down  to  tell  you.  Spain 
is  in  sight  before  us,  real  land.  My  heart  is  too  full  to 
write.  I  could  cry  hard,  I  don't  know  why.  Oh,  how 
good  God  has  been  I  Now  indeed  I  feel  I  am  away  from 
America.  How  strangely  looks  that  long  line  of  misty 
coast,  and  very  strange  are  my  emotions,  full  of  pleasure, 
and  full  of  pain,  and  full  of  deep,  deep  interest.  This  is 
Spain — and  soon  we  shall  distinguish  the  old  convent 
which  for  ages  has  stood  looking  down  on  the  sea,  where 
the  nuns  have  chanted  their  matins  and  vespers,  and  its 
bells  have  mingled  their  voices  with  the  waves.  How 
little  I  once  thought  that  my  plain  Yankee  eyes  would 
look  on  such  scenes  !  Dear  Mother,  I  have  been  praying 
that  I  may  look  on  all  these  interesting  shores  with  the 
feelings  of  a  Christian ;  and  may  all  that  I  see  and  learn 
prepare  me  for  my  work  in  that  dear  country  which  comes 
nearer  every  hour. 

Nov.  ith.  Saturday  afternoon.  I  have  just  closed  your 
letter,  and  H.  is  directing  and  sealing  it,  and  Mr.  T.  will  take 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  207 


it  on  shore  to-morrow.  0, 1  hope  it  will  reach  you  safely. 
Father  is  writing  at  the  table,  and  nearly  all  our  gentlemen 
have  been  so  engaged,  these  few  days  past.  I  wrote 
C.  C,  after  closing  the  journal  for  you  yesterday,  and  as 
soon  as  tea  was  over  we  went  on  deck  to  watch  Cape  St. 
Vincent  which  we  passed  by  moonlight.  We  saw  its  high 
bluffs,  and  with  the  glass  distinguished  the  two  convents, 
one  on  the  extremity  of  the  cape,  its  white  walls  shining 
in  the  moonlight.  The  other,  of  reddish  brown,  is  not  so 
distinctly  seen.  It  was  very  interesting  to  watch  them. 
What  a  wild  lonely  place  to  which  to  retire  from  the  world. 
Probably  they  are  monasteries,  not  nunneries. 

We  stood  in  the  moonlight  by  the  helm,  and  while  there 
had  a  long  conversation  with  Guseppe  on  the  nature  of 
true  repentance,  to  which  the  man  at  the  helm  also  lis- 
tened. The  conversation  accidentally,  I  hope  providen- 
tially, commenced  by  my  picking  up  a  tract  which  fell 
from  his  pocket,  and  as  he  took  it,  he  said  "  Oh  this  is 
mine,  I  am  going  to  be  Christian."  I  fear  no  impression 
can  be  made  on  his  giddy  mind,  for  he  is  an  odd,  playful, 
reckless  fellow. 

We  went  very  fast  until  four  o'clock  this  morning,  when 
the  wind  died  away,  and  it  became  decided  that  there  was 
no  more  hope  of  our  reaching  Gibraltar  to-day.  So  many 
new  sights  are  continually  coming,  that  I  must  go  on  deck, 
and  shall  continue  my  journal  afterwards.  "  Africa  is  in 
sight,"  is  the  cry.  We  are  wide  awake.  These  are  new 
sights  and  sounds. 

We  have  a  few  moments  now  before  tea.  Oh,  what  a 
day  this  has  been  to  me  !  You  may  imagine  my  feelings, 
but  words  cannot  express  them.  I  have  stood  gazing  at 
these  shores,  till  thoughts  innumerable,  of  home,  of  child- 
hood, of  Spain,  of  Africa,  dark,  deluded  Africa,  have  all 
floated  vaguely,  dimly  in  my  mind,  and  I  am  oppressed  by 


208  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

them  and  turn  in  prayer  to  God,  that  he  will  be  my  Fa- 
ther, and  make  me  a  Christian  in  all  things,  and  will  pre- 
pare me  for  my  work. 

This  morning  was  beautiful,  and  that  every  thing  might 
be  ready  in  honor  of  our  arrival  at  Gibraltar,  I  staid  in  my 
state-room  and  cleaned  out  all  the  dirt,  which  dust  brush 
and  dust  pan  could  gather,  and  then  brushed  the  paint 
from  father's  coat  and  cap,  with  cologne  water  and  clothes 
brush,  and  afterwards  mended  them;  in  which  I  succeeded 
admirably,  to  father's  great  delight;  then  I  went  to  M.'s 
room  and  told  her  the  Daily  Food  verse,  and  read  to  her, 
then  on  deck,  which  was  about  12  o'clock. 

While  we  were  at  dinner,  Guseppe  announced  a  city  in 
sight,  and  we  ascended,  when  dinner  was  over,  quite  in- 
credulous, but  not  one  only,  many  were  visible.  Cadiz 
rose  from  the  sea,  and  the  low  range  of  mountains  which 
stretched  along,  bore  many  a  village  and  house,  whose 
white  walls  shone  in  the  sun  light.  Farther  inland,  the 
high  mountains  of  Spain  towered,  and  soon  Cape  Trafal- 
gar came  to  our  view.  How  many  thoughts  these  shores 
awaken  !  I  can  scarcely  write  my  heart  is  so  full.  I 
came  down  stairs  about  four  and  finished  your  letter,  and 
then  tried  to  write  in  the  journal,  but  it  was  impossible  to 
stay  below.  The  sky  was  somewhat  overcast,  but  a  bril- 
liant sunset  shed  a  flood  of  violet  and  rosy  light  over  sea, 
and  shore  and  sky.  Far  off  to  the  south  Cape  Spartell, 
on  the  African  shore,  rose  dimly,  it  seemed  to  me  sorrow- 
full}'',  from  the  water.  Long  we  gazed  on  every  side, 
while  the  sailors  drew  from  the  hold  the  chain  cable  to  use 
if  needful.  A  fine  breeze  and  strong  current  carry  us  rap- 
idly through  these  green  waters.  We  are  about  thirty 
miles  from  Gibraltar,  and  shall  have  a  fine  moonlight  view, 
if  these  clouds  pass. 

These  are  deeply  interesting  days  to  me,  and  indeed  to 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  209 

US  all.  To-morrow,  while  our  dear  friends  at  home  are 
gathering  round  the  table  of  our  Saviour,  we  shall  be  gaz- 
ing on  the  rock  of  Gibraltar,  and  on  the  blue  waters  of  the 
Mediterranean.  My  heart  is  almost  too  full  to  write ! 
How  good  God  has  been,  and  we  can  trust  the  future  with 
him. 

18* 


CHAPTER    X. 

BARK    STAMBOUL.       MEDITERRANEAN, 

Tuesday,  Nov.  7th,  1843. 
*'  My  dearest  mother.     I  feel  quite  lonely  since  I  sent 
off  my  journal,  for  it  seemed  almost  like  parting  with  you. 
But  I  had  so  good  an  opportunity  I  hailed  it  with  joy. 
Now  1  must  go  on  regularly  again — and  I  would  it  were 
possible  to  give  you  any  thing  like  a  true  description  of 
these  few  days ;  so  unlike  the  rest  of  my  life,  so   full  of 
interest  and  excitement.     I  closed  my  journal  to  you   the 
evening  before  reaching  Gibraltar.     I  longed  to  sit  up  and 
watch  our  entrance  to  the  Straits  and  Bay,  but  it  was  not 
thought  best.     When  I  retired  for  the  night,  I  felt  little 
inclination  to  sleep,  and  by  two  o'clock  I  was  wide  awake, 
and  as  the  moon  was  shining,  I  could  not  resist  the  incli- 
nation  to  rise  and   peep   through  the  port  hole,  but  saw 
nothing  except  water,  for  our  side  of  the  ship  looked  only  on 
the  ocean.     So   I  laid  me   down,  and  as  a  sudden  squall 
came,  and  the  men  were  running  hither  and  thither  among 
the  ropes,  I  did  no  more  than  have  several  short  naps,  be- 
fore the  gleams  of  the  dawn  came  in  at  our  window.  Then 
I  rose    again,   and   saw   the  majestic   Rock  of  Gibraltar 
directly  in  front  of  us,  and  we   went  on  deck  to  see  the 
sun  rise. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNE?.  QH 

Dear  mother,  how  gladly  would  I  present  the  view  to 
you,  which  we  then  witnessed.  H.'s  painting  of  the  rock 
is  the  best  I  have  seen,  and  that,  you  probably  remenaber, 
but  no  pen  nor  brush  can  give  a  true  idea  of  the  glorious 
light,  which  tinged  the  clouds,  and  shed  itself  over  distant 
niountain  land,  and  misty  shore,  and  wave,  and  vessel  and 
rock.  That  mountain  land  was  more  interesting  than  any 
thing  I  had  ever  seen  before,  realizing  all  my  ideas  of  lofty, 
wild  summits,  so  distant,  so  towering,  they  seemed  like 
giant  shadows  among  the  clouds  ;  so  beautifully  covered 
with  violet  light,  and  so  completely  shorn  of  all  trees  or 
shrubs,  that  the  effect  is  entirely  unlike  the  mountain  land 
of  America.  During  all  the  day  I  found  my  eye  wander- 
ing'from  the  interesting  sights  amongst  which  we  were,  to 
seek  those  dim  and  distant  outlines,  over  which  the  shad- 
ows slowly  passed.  They  v^^ere  the  mountains  of  Spain, 
where  the  wild  Moorish  battle  cries  had  often  echoed,  and 
Spanish  knights  had  wrought  their  deeds  of  valor  and 
renown. 

We  were  in  the  Bay  of  Gibraltar.  Directly  in  front  of 
us  rose  the  barren  rock,  covered  with  its  fortifications  and 
frowning  upon  the  sea.  The  town,  with  its  houses  of  a 
light  yellow  or  brownish  hue,  lay  all  along  the  water,  and 
was  guarded  by  a  wall,  strong  and  massive.  During  the 
night  there  is  no  entrance  to  the  town,  for  at  the  firing  of 
the  evening  gun,  soon  after  sunset,  the  gates  are  locked. 
A  number  of  vessels  lay  in  the  harbor,  some  steamers 
and  an  English  man-of-war.  But  it  is  an  unsafe  harbor, 
and  is  subject  to  sudden  gusts  of  wind,  very  dangerous  to 
vessels." 

**  Wednesday/  evenings  Nov.  8fk.  I  have  been  sea-sick 
for  the  last  three  days  ;  for  the  night  we  left  Gibraltar,  a 
miserable  head  wind  came,  and  our  ship  has  pitched  nearly 


212  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

all  the  time  since  ;  while  we  are  kept  almost  in  one  place  ; 
I  mean  so  far  as  advancing  on  our  course  is  concerned. 
To-night  we  are  quiet  for  a  little  season,  and  I  am  glad  to 
come,  dear  mother,  and  talk  with  you  again. 

How  strangely  that  Sabbath  passed  at  Gibraltar !  While 
you  were  quietly  enjoying  the  privileges  of  communion, 
we  were  anchored  in  a  foreign  bay,  gazing  upon  a  city,  in 
whose  streets  mingled  some  from  nearly  every  nation  on 
earth,  and  viewing  that  noble  rock,  around  which  so  many 
associations  cluster. 

Very  busy  times  we  had  in  the  early  morning.  We 
were  coasting  up  and  down  the  Bay,  hoping  that  the  officer 
would  come  out  from  the  port,  and  give  us  permission  to 
land.  In  the  cabin,  Mr.  T.  was  arranging  his  baggage  to 
send  ashore,  and  there  was  much  passing  up  and  down  the 
cabin  stairs.  As  no  officer  made  his  appearance,  the  cap- 
tain concluded  to  go  on  shore,  and  Mr.  T.  went  with  him, 
but  they  came  back  in  about  a  half  an  hour,  saying  that 
they  would  not  let  them  land.  Then  we  took  breakfast, 
and  our  poor  passengers,  who  were  hoping  to  get  a  nice 
meal  on  land,  were  forced  once  more  to  partake  with  us  of 
our  ship  food.  Soon  a  boat  came,  and  a  man  in  it  told 
the  captain,  if  he  would  drop  anchor  and  go  ashore,  he 
could  get  a  permit  for  his  passengers  to  land.  Again  our 
little  boat  put  off,  and  we  waited  in  suspense  another  half 
hour,  when  we  saw  it  returning.  It  was  now  near  ten 
o'clock.  The  captain  remained  on  shore,  and  sent  the 
boat  for  those  who  were  to  land.  Right  glad  were  they, 
and  they  bade  us  good  bye,  and  descended  one  by  one  into 
the  boat.  Mrs.  T.  was  lowered  in  the  arm  chair  by  the 
sailors,  an  operation  which  we  shall  all  have  to  endure. 
When  they  were  gone  we  sat  quietly  on  deck,  where  the 
rays  of  the  sun  beat  down,  becoming  quite  warm  as  the  day 
advanced. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LEXXEP.  213 

The  town  seemed  an  abode  for  the  dead  ;  not  a  donkey, 
nor  man,  nor  soldier  could  we  see.  We  did  not  expect  to, 
in  the  town  itself,  but  we  thought  we  ought  in  some  of  the 
numerous  paths  leading  along  the  side  of  the  Rock.  I  be- 
lieve, though,  they  were  hid  by  walls  which  were  built 
along  the  paths.  Every  thing  had  a  Sabbath-day  look, 
and  the  most  perfect  quiet  pervaded  the  whole  scene.  The 
only  signs  of  life  were  a  few  odd  shaped  Spanish  boats, 
which  appeared  and  disappeared  among  the  shipping. 

It  was  a  day  full  of  deep  interest.  We  sat  on  deck,  and 
many  were  the  thoughts  which  floated  through  our  minds. 
After  some  time  our  boat  returned,  bringing  delicious  grapes 
in  baskets,  such  as  we  see  pictured  in  views  of  warm  cli- 
mates. They  were  entirely  unlike  ours,  but  more  like 
those  white  Malaga  grapes  which  come  done  up  in  cork 
dust. 

The  rest  of  the  baggage  was  then  sent  ashore,  and  one 
or  two  boats  came  from  other  American  vessels,  bringing 
their  captains  to  visit  ours.  Our  second  mate,  G.,  conclu- 
ded to  return  to  America  in  the  Manto,  for  he  has  been 
sick  ever  since  we  started,  and  I  prepared  my  journal  to 
send  by  him.  What  a  long  day  that  was  !  The  longest 
I  remember  to  have  spent,  since  the  memorable  day  that 
father  sailed  for  Europe. 

The  captain  did  not  return  till  late  in  the  afternoon,  and 
he  brought  with  him  a  new  sailor,  and  also  some  very  fine 
melons  and  olives.  It  was  very  difficult  for  him  to  obtain 
fruit,  for  the  market  was  closed,  being  the  Sabbath.  Our 
captain  was  tired  out.  He  had  eaten  nothing  since  morn- 
ino",  and  he  was  so  busy  trying  to  get  off,  that  he  could 
only  take  a  little  dinner  on  deck. 

We  were  so  troubled  to  raise  our  anchor,  that  it  was  not 
till  after  sunset  that  we  could  get  under  way.  Our  sunset 
was  truly  Mediterranean,  very  unlike  the  sunsets  of  Amer- 


214  ^II^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ica.  4  beautiful  violet  hue,  melting  into  rose,  tinged  sky 
and  cloud  and  nnountain  and  wave.  Our  hearts  were  filled 
with  the  glory  of  the  scene.  Far  off,  the  African  shore 
raised  its  bold  front  in  the  evening  sky,  and  on  the  side  of 
the  Bay  opposite  Gibraltar,  several  little  Spanish  towns 
and  Moorish  watch  towers,  were  bathed  in  violet  light, 
while  directly  over  the  Rock,  rose  the  moon,  nearly  at  its 
full,  making  a  combination  of  glory  and  beauty,  which  sur- 
passed any  thing  my  eye  had  ever  seen.  We  sailed  by 
moonlight  slowly  out  of  the  bay.  One  by  one  shone  lights 
from  the  town,  and  from  the  top  of  the  Rock  we  saw  and 
heard  the  sunset  gun  fired.  Our  ship  had  got  free,  after 
some  difficulty.  The  captain  of  the  Manto,  a  fine  generous 
man,  came  with  his  second  mate  and  several  of  his  men, 
to  assist  our  weary  sailors.  Our  poor  men  had  been  up 
all  night,  and  during  the  day  too,  had  been  hard  at  work, 
and  though  they  sang  their  wild,  merry,  sailor  songs,  to 
make  the  work  go  lightly,  it  was  evident  they  were  tired 
out.  It  did  our  hearts  good  to  see  captain  L.'s  men,  fresh 
and  ready  to  lend  their  aid  ;  and  so  before  the  rays  of  the 
sun  had  faded  away,  we  were  ready  for  sea.  We  walked 
on  deck  beneath  a  glorious  moonlight,  and  sailed  by  a  fair 
breeze  on  the  waters  of  the  Mediterranean  ;  while  my 
thoughts  were  with  the  dear  friends  far  off  over  the  Atlan- 
tic. We  began  to  look  forward  to  our  journey's  end,  and 
to  rejoice  that  our  sea  trials  were  so  nearly  over  ;  when, 
alas  !  the  wind  changed  during  the  night,  and  the  next 
morning  we  pitched  about  in  a  head  sea,  sea-sick  and  cold, 
and  very  uncomfortable. 

After  dinner  on  Monday,  I  sat  nearly  all  the  afternoon 
on  deck,  looking  at  distant  scenery.  Far  off',  rose  from  the 
sea  the  Sierra  Nevada,  or  snowy  mountains  of  Spain.  The 
sun  shone  brightly  upon  them,  and  I  would  it  were  possi- 
ble for  me  to  describe  the  magical  effect  which  those  Span- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  215 

ish  mountains  produce.  They  tower  above  the  clouds, 
and  are  seen  in  every  variety  of  light  and  shade.  Their 
barrenness,  so  far  from  injuring  their  picturesque  appear- 
ance, only  heightens  it.  We  watched  them  all  the  after- 
noon ;  and  at  evening  we  remembered  the  monthly  concert. 

This  Mediterranean  sea,  seems  a  very  sociable  one  to 
me,  we  have  so  much  land  in  sight,  and  its  tall  cliffs  come 
down  so  protectingly  to  the  shore.  Then  the  motion  in  a 
fair  wind  is  delightful.  The  vessel  glides  on  smoothly, 
and  we  have  none  of  the  heavy  Atlantic  swell  ;  but  a  head 
wind  is  very  trying,  owing  to  the  short  waves,  which  makes 
the  ship  pitch  and  toss  sadly.  I  think  the  ocean  is  far 
more  interesting  when  land  is  in  sight.  There  is  a  pecul- 
iar feeling  when  far  from  land,  which  I  shall  always  remem- 
ber with  deep  interest,  and  I  rejoice  that  I  have  been  on 
the  M^ide  waste  of  waters  ;  but  there  is  a  magical  beauty 
about  the  sea  when  a  distant  shore  bounds  the  horizon, 
upon  which  the  breakers  dash  their  white  foam.  We  had 
the  happiness  last  night  of  retiring,  with  the  consciousness 
that  a  fair  wind  was  carrying  us  gently  along  on  our  course. 
In  the  morning,  just  at  sunrise,  we  were  passing  Cape 
Degata.  Its  brown  cliffs,  on  which  stood  lonely  Moorish 
Watch-towers,  frowned  upon  the  sea.  These  Moorish 
towers  are  a  very  interesting  sight.  They  are  placed  along 
the  shore  on  very  high  points,  at  the  distance  of  about  ten 
miles  from  each  other,  and  command  a  very  extensive  view 
of  the  sea.  There,  in  ages  back,  they  watched  the  inva- 
ding foe,  and  lighted  their  alarm  fires  upon  these  moun- 
tains. 

I  have  had  many  sweet,  quiet  thoughts  here  on  this 
ocean.  On  the  deck  I  have  been  looking  into  my  heart, 
many  an  hour,  and  striving  to  get  ready  for  my  work  in 
Smyrna ;  of  you  too,  dear  mother,  I  think,  at  morning, 
noon  and  evening.'' 


216  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Tuesday  evenings  Nov.  Xith.  On  Frida}^,  after  closing 
my  journal,  a  storm  which  had  been  gathering  for  some 
time,  came  over,  and  the  lightning  was  more  vivid  than  I 
ever  knew.  The  quantity  of  rain  we  have  had  is  very  sur- 
prising. It  has  rained  ever}^  day,  though  we  have  had  long 
hours  of  sunshine.  Saturday  was  a  gloomy,  cold  day,  and 
we  were  sailing  in  the  broadest  part  of  the  Mediterranean* 
between  Majorca  and  Sardinia,  so  that  no  land  was  to  be 
seen. 

During  the  night  there  w^as  a  great  deal  of  rolling,  yet  I 
contrived  to  sleep  nearly  all  the  time  ;  but  on  rising  in  the 
morning  with  a  strong  resolution  not  to  be  sick,  I  found  I 
must  yield,  and  in  my  berth,  notwithstanding  the  motion,  I 
had  pleasant  Sabbath  thoughts  and  conversation  with  H. 
We  regretted  being  deprived  of  service  on  deck.  Only 
twice  have  we  been  able  to  have  service  there.  Towards 
noon  the  weather  became  fine.  We  had  been  all  along 
going  on  our  course,  but  the  motion  was  in  consequence  of 
the  north  wind  which  blew  down  the  Gulf  of  Lyons.  As 
soon  as  Sardinia  should  shelter  us  we  should  be  free  from 
that.  After  dinner  talked  with  H.  on  many  interesting 
topics,  and  particularly  about  desiring  to  be  in  Heaven,  and 
being  willing  to  leave  this  earth  at  any  time.  H.  said  he 
thought  it  was  a  Christian's  duty  to  be  looking  forward  joy- 
fully to  the  time  when  heaven  would  be  his  home.  I  told 
him  how  lovely  this  earth  appeared  to  me,  and  that  it 
troubled  me  that  the  thought  of  leaving  these  scenes  forev- 
er should  make  me  unhappy,  and  that  I  feU  I  needed  to 
place  my  affections  more  upon  the  other  world.  T  had 
been  thinking  and  praying  over  these  things  which  had 
been  suggested  to  my  mind  by  my  shrinking  from  dying  at 
sea,  and  my  earnest  desire  to  reach  Smyrna.  H.'s  views 
of  heaven  are  much  better  than  mine,  and  1  hope  that  they 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  217 

will  make  mine  more  what  they  should  be.  I  pray  over 
this  subject,  and  already  my  views  are  brighter. 

Dear  father  came  and  talked  with  us  a  long  time  about 
heaven  and  the  privileges  of  Christians.  We  talked  till 
the  day  light  faded  and  the  stars  came  out.  The  sea  was 
calmer,  and  in  the  evening  we  had  service  in  the  cabin. 
Father  read  his  sermon,  "  Life  and  immortality,"  &c. 

Yesterday  was  calm,  nearly  all  day,  and  we  sat  on  deck, 
beneath  a  pleasant,  warm  sky,  and  worked.  Just  before 
tea,  walked  the  deck  for  exercise,  and  in  the  evening  netted 
my  mat.  The  breeze  was  fresh  and  fair,  and  during  my 
sleep,  I  dreamed  very  vividly  of  reaching  Smyrna.  O, 
mother,  how  strange  it  seems  to  be  so  near  the  place  to 
which  we  have  looked  so  long. 

This  morning  when  I  went  on  deck,  I  found  we  had 
passed  Sardinia  in  the  night,  so  that  only  a  faint  blue  out- 
line remained  to  be  seen.  The  waves  have  looked  beauti- 
fully to-day,  and  the  sky  has  been  bright.  Father  is  in 
fine  spirits  at  the  thought  of  soon  reaching  Malta,  from 
which  we  are  now  only  about  one  hundred  and  seventy 
miles.  What  a  small  company  we  shall  have  from  Malta 
to  Smyrna.     Four  of  our  number  leave  at  that  island. 

After  dinner,  just  as  1  was  going  on  deck,  a  storm  came 
up  and  it  rained  very  hard.  Captain  has  taken  in  sail,  for 
the  night  is  very  dark,  and  he  does  not  like  to  pass  without 
some  care  among  these  islands.  There  is  a  great  deal  of 
motion  and  we  all  dread  the  nig-ht. 


■to" 


Wednesday  evening.  Our  breeze  has  been  so  very  light 
to-day,  that  we  are  still  some  distance  from  Malta.  We 
slept  last  night  notwithstanding  the  motion,  and  under  the 
good  providence  of  our  Heavenly  Father,  came  safely 
through  all  the  shoals.  As  soon  as  the  sun  shone  in  to 
the  cabin  we  went  on  deck.  The  coast  of  Sicily  looked 
19 


218  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

very  dim,  far  to  the  north  of  us,  and  the  small  island 
of  Pantelaria,  a  place  famous  for  its  donkeys,  lay  on  our 
western  horizon.  We  had  passed  it  in  the  night.  Dur- 
ing the  forenoon  went  on  deck  to  see  mount  Juliano, 
the  highest  land  on  the  southern  coast  of  Sicily.  After 
dinner  had  a  general  overlooking  of  trunks,  and  a  grand 
preparation  for  landing  at  Malta. 

Sometimes  when  the  thought  comes  over  me  that  I  am 
really  going  to  Smyrna,  you  can  imagine  how  strange  and 
yet  how  pleasant  a  reality  it  is  to  me.  Could  we  only  all 
live  together.  My  dear  mother,  let  us  all  be  ready  for 
that  blessed  home  where  we  shall  have  no  separations — 
that  home  where  our  existence  will  truly  commence. 
Shall  we  ever  reach  that  home  ?  O,  may  Jesus  make  us 
faithful  to  him  and  to  his  cause.  May  he  prepare  us  to 
meet  him  and  all  our  dear  friends  in  the  abodes  of  eternal 
rest.  Good  night,  dear  mother.  Father  is  going  on  deck, 
and  I  will  go  too,  and  have  a  few  parting  words. 

Thursday  evening.  We  are  moored  in  the  harbor  of 
Malta,  and  shall  pass  the  night  within  sound  of  its  many 
bells,  and  in  full  sight  of  the  spot  around  which  so  many 
associations  cluster.  We  passed  a  very  quiet  night,  but 
this  morning  though  the  sun  shone  brightly,  we  found  the 
wind  just  opposite  the  quarter  we  wished  it  to  be.  I  went 
on  deck  before  breakfast,  and  we  saw  the  coast  of  Sicily, 
on  one  side,  with  the  snowy  peak  of  Etna,  distant  from 
us  one  hundred  miles,  and  on  the  other  side  lay  the  low, 
rocky  island  of  Malta,  and  its  two  adjacent  islands.  The 
morning  was  very  warm  and  bright,  and  the  sky  a  glorious 
blue,  and  our  gentlemen  sauntered  about,  unable  to  attend 
to  any  thing  but  watching  the  sails  in  hope  that  our  calm 
might  give  place  to  a  fair  wind.  We  were  passing  slowly 
along,  without  any  hope  of  reaching  Malta  until  to-mor- 
row, though  we  were  not  thirty  miles  off.     About  dinner 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  219 

time  our  wind  became  fair.  Captain's  eyes  brightened, 
but  we  kept  it  from  our  company,  for  fear  of  disappoint- 
ment, as  it  might  not  last.  However,  during  dinner  the 
fair  wind  became  too  apparent  to  be  any  longer  hidden, 
and  the  sails  were  made  ready  for  Malta.  Our  gentle- 
men put  on  clean  clothes  and  hats,  and  looked  so  land 
like,  it  did  our  hearts  good.  On  we  went  beneath  a  bright 
sky,  while  every  moment  the  rocky  shore,  with  its  houses 
and  scanty  trees,  became  more  and  more  visible.  We 
were  making  for  Valetta,  the  name  of  the  port.  We  passed 
St.  Paul's  bay,  and  thought  of  the  shipwreck  of  the  in- 
spired apostle.  H.  read  me  the  chapter  containing  the  ac- 
count, and  if  it  really  were  the  spot,  how  interesting  it 
would  be.  It  is  very  probable,  though  not  certain,  yet  it 
is  enough  so  to  make  it  an  interesting  place. 

Every  thing  was  in  readiness  for  landing.  Our  flags 
floated  in  the  breeze,  and  we  all  stood  on  deck,  viewing 
each  object  as  it  became  defined  to  the  eye.  A  glorious 
sunset  added  to  the  beauty  of  the  scene,  while  the  curious 
Maltese  boats  made  me  think  of  the  "  Maltese  Boatmen's 
song,"  and  almost  involuntarily  we  sang, 

"  Then  haste  let  us  row  till  the  day  light  is  o'er." 

A  Greek  vessel  was  slowly  passing  into  the  quarantine 
harbor  near  us.  We  saw  the  Lazaretto  buildings,  and  di- 
rectly in  front  rose  the  old  storm  beaten  fortifications  of  the 
knights  of  ancient  days,  and  rising  above  these  were  the 
light  brown  buildings  of  the  town.  The  sun  set  gun 
fired  just  as  captain  was  setting  off"  in  his  boat,  and  we 
waited  anxiously  the  result  of  his  visit  to  the  shore. 

The  sunset  colors  were  fading  on  the  horizon,  but  we 
stood  gazing  while  light  remained,  on  the  massive  walls 
and  churches,  which  filled  our  minds  with  strange  thoughts 
and  told  us  we  were  indeed  in  the  old  world,  in  the  midst 


220  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

of  scenes  which  before  had  to  us  existed  only  in  our  ima- 
ginations. Strange  music  floated  across  the  water.  I 
thought  it  was  a  full  deep  band.  It  was  the  tolling  of  the 
hour.  The  light  grew  fainter,  and  then  the  bells  all  woke 
and  rang  for  vespers.  The  island  seemed  but  the  abode  of 
bells,  for  from  every  quarter  they  rang  out  upon  the  breeze, 
some  making  merry  music,  and.  some  sounding  in  such 
solemn  tones,  that  all  I  had  ever  dreamed  of  a  vesper  bell, 
was  embodied  in  the  strain.  There  was  one  heavy  one, 
that  tolled  slowly  amidst  the  merry  peals,  as  we  listened 
in  silence,  while  our  hearts  were  sad  for  the  deluded  wor- 
shippers, who  were  then  kneeling  at  their  evening  devo- 
tions ;  and  we  prayed  that  a  true  and  holy  worship  might 
ascend  with  their  vesper  prayer. 

Our  captain  returned  and  told  us  nothing  could  be  done 
after  sunset,  no  officer  could  be  seen,  no  permission  given 
to  land  ;  and  so  we  remain  here  quietly,  losing  very  much 
time  ;  and  yet  I  am  half  reconciled  to  our  detention,  for  I 
long  to  hear  the  matin  bells.  It  seems  very  pleasant  to 
hear  land  sounds,  and  yet  the  sounds  which  float  to  us  are 
by  no  means  home-like.  They  carry  our  thoughts  back  to 
days  when  Rome  ruled  alone  over  the  consciences  of  the 
nations,  and  they  remind  us  that  her  veil  of  darkness  still 
blinds  a  large  portion  of  the  earth's  population.  We  pre- 
sume some  festival  is  causing  the  continued  peals  we  hear. 
Music  too,  of  drums  and  trumpets  is  passing  along  the 
streets.  The  stars  are  shining  gloriousl}-,  and  the  dark 
walls  before  us  are  partially  illuminated  by  the  light  house, 
and  here  and  there  other  lights  appear,  while  almost  every 
moment  the  bells  are  chiming,  and  mingle  their  voices  with 
the  ceaseless  roar  of  the  sea  as  it  breaks  along  the  shore. 
These  are  strange  and  novel  sounds  to  lull  us  to  sleep. 
Our  company  have  retired,  and  I  must  retire  too,  to  be  up 
*'  bright  and  early." 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  221 

Monday  afternoon,  November  20tli.  I  have  come  my 
dearest  mother,  to  try  and  give  you  some  account  of  the 
many  things  which  have  taken  place  since  last  I  wrote. 
But  first,  let  me  tell  you  we  are  scarce  one  hundred  and 
twenty  miles  from  Smyrna  ;  and  to-morrow  we  might  hope 
to  tread  on  that  shore  to  which  we  have  so  long  been  look- 
ing with  earnest  expectation,  but  a  strong  head  wind  for- 
bids the  hope,  and  we  know  not  how  long  we  may  be  de- 
tained among  these  islands  of  the  Archipelago, 

How  I  wish  I  could  give  you  some  account  of  last  Fri- 
day, that  would  make  you  feel  just  as  I  do  in  looking  back 
upon  it.  It  seems  like  a  strange  troubled  dream,  and  as 
though  I  had  been  for  a  few  hours  an  inhabitant  of  another 
world. 

During  all  Thursday  night  you  know,  we  lay  in  the  har- 
bor of  Malta,  within  sound  of  its  many  bells  as  they  tolled 
the  hour,  and  at  four  in  the  morning  they  commenced 
again,  and  continued  ringing  more  or  less  until  between 
seven  and  eight.  We  were  up  early  and  saw  the  sun  rise, 
and  then  captain  went  on  shore.  We  were  on  deck,  watch- 
ing all  that  could  be  seen,  eyeing  the  town  with  our  spy 
glass,  and  the  health  officer  came  along  side  to  look  at  us. 
This  gave  us  much  amusement,  and  he  too  seemed  quite 
good  natured  about  it,  particularly  when  the  steward  in  his 
comical  hat  looked  over  the  ship's  side  at  him.  Soon 
came  innumerable  boats,  some  to  sell  things,  some  to  bring 
people  to  our  ship,  and  to  take  our  passengers  ashore. 

The  consul  came,  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Buel,  Baptist  mis- 
sionaries, very  pleasant  people.  They  knew  H.  and  Mrs. 
Buel  brought  me  a  beautiful  bunch  of  flowers,  which  I  am 
still  keeping — some  fine  carnations  amongst  them. 

And  then  mother  what  do  you  think  we  did  ?  We  went 
on  shore  and  saw   Malta,   and  the  wonderful  sights   and 

sounds  nearly  turned  my  head.     There  is  so  much  motion 

19* 


222  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

I  can  not  write.     Oh,  I  have  so  much  to  tell  you,  and  we 
are  so  near  Smyrna  too  ! 

Wednesday,  November  22d.  The  lands  near  us  are  full 
of  interest.  On  one  side  lies  Asia,  so  soon  to  be  my  home, 
and  on  the  other,  Scio  rises  to  our  view,  and  already  the 
mountains  around  Smyrna  are  distinctly  seen ;  but  a  head 
wind  still  detains  us  ;  we  can  only  slowly  tack  along,  up 
the  channel  of  Scio,  with  the  faint  hope  of  reaching  to- 
morrow, the  city  to  which  our  hearts  have  gone.  How 
do  you  think,  my  dear  mother,  that  your  daughter  feels  in 
looking  upon  what  is  now  her  adopted  home.  It  was  yes- 
terday, that  the  first  faint,  blue  outline  of  the  continent 
which  is  the  cradle  of  our  race,  rose  to  our  view,  and  I 
could  only  pray  when  I  looked  upon  it.  Now,  we  are 
very  near  it.  We  can  distinguish  its  Turkish  villages,  and 
we  turn  alternately  from  them  to  the  island,  where  among 
its  groups  of  trees,  once  stood  the  mansions  of  so  many 
happy  families  whom  the  fire  and  the  sword  destroyed. 
These  lands  are  full  of  interest  and  you  may  easily  ima- 
gine what  recollections  they  call  up,  and  what  associations 
they  awaken  in  our  minds.  It  was  you,  dear  mother,  who 
taught  me  to  feel  for  poor  Scio.  Do  you  remember  too, 
how  when  I  was  a  very  little  girl,  I  went  once  to  sew  for 
the  Greeks.  But  if  I  am  going  to  write  a  regular  journal, 
I  must  turn  back  to  Friday. 

It  was  quite  an  unexpected  pleasure  to  be  able  to  go  on 
shore-  Mr.  and  Mrs  Buel  urged  our  going,  and  the  con- 
sul told  us  the  captain  would  be  detained  some  hours,  so 
we  thought  we  would  venture  to  go.  Father  and  Dr.  A. 
thought  it  would  be  a  refreshment  to  us  ;  so  I  flew  down 
and  begged  the  steward  to  get  my  band-box,  and  H.  got 
my  shawl,  and  in  my  great  ship  shoesjand  gloves,  I  was  in 
rather  a  funny  garb  Jo  appear  on  land.     H.  was  in  a  some- 


MRg.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  223 

what  similar  plight,  yet  in  a  land  where  we  were  total 
strangers,  we  did  not  mind  our  medley  dress.  They  had 
the  arm  chair  ready  to  lower  the  ladies,  and  I  found  the 
operation  easy  and  pleasant.  We  reached  the  landing 
time  enough  for  me  to  have  the  pleasure  of  welcoming 
father  and  Dr.  A.  to  Malta,  for  they  came  after  us,  with 
the  consul,  in  another  boat. 

And  now  mother,  if  you  want  me  to  describe  Malta,  I 
will  tell  you  that  to  give  you  a  true  description  is  out  o' 
the  question.  Valetta  is  the  name  of  the  port,  and  there 
are  streets  and  houses,  and  plenty  of  people,  making  racket 
enough  for  three  or  four  of  our  cities,  but  every  thing  is  so 
different  that  description  can  give  you  but  a  faint  idea. 

But  I  will  begin  at  the  beginning  and  go  on  to  the  end 
of  the  little  1  saw  of  Malta,  and  perhaps  I  may  be  able  to 
give  you  a  better  idea  than  a  man  who  writes  travels,  and 
does  not  know,  what  you  in  particular,  would  like  to  know. 

The  whole  island  is  composed  of  a  rock  of  a  yellowish 
brown  color,  or  rather  a  very  light  drab,  so  soft  when  first 
it  is  hewn,  that  it  is  very  easily  cut  into  beautiful  vases, 
&c. ;  but  it  hardens  on  exposure  to  the  air.  All  the  forti- 
fications and  houses  and  pavements  are  of  this  stone,  so 
that  they  have  the  same  color,  which  makes  a  good  con- 
trast to  the  blue  window  frames  and  balconies. 

The  Moro,  or  St.  James's  Castle,  hid  the  place  of  the 
landing  from  our  ship,  but  as  we  came  round  its  high  old 
battlements,  where  the  knights  in  olden  time  fought,  we 
caught  a  view  of  a  scene  of  indescribable  bustle  and  activ- 
ity. It  was  by  the  custom  house,  and  as  we  neared  the 
shore,  innumerable  boats  surrounded  us,  and  our  own  little 
Stamboul  boat  was  the  only  thing  that  looked  familiar. 

My  dear  mother,  H.  has  just  called  me  to  go  up  on  deck, 
and  see  the  town  of  Scio,  which  is  so  near  that  we  can  dis- 
tinguish the  people  walking  along  its  shore,  and  the  dis« 


224  ^I^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  DENNEP. 

mantled  villa's,  which  are  standing  desolate  and  sad  among 
the  trees.  Upon  these  very  w^aters  the  Turkish  ships 
floated,  and  on  these  very  shores  they  landed  their  soldiers^ 
and  spread  ruin  and  sorrow  all  around.  The  centre  of  the 
island  is  very  bold,  and  the  mountains  tower,  naked  and 
barren,  over  the  green  and  cultivated  slopes  which  come 
down  to  the  sea.  We  can  discern  many  cypress  trees 
and  several  minarets.  My  eye  has,  in  a  little  measure, 
become  familiar  with  strange  scenes.  But  1  must  go  back 
to  Malta. 

By  the  iron  railing  round  the  yard  of  the  Custom  House^ 
a  soldier  in  the  splendid  costume  of  the  Highland  regi- 
ments, was  leaning,  watching  all  who  came  and  went. 
Several  of  them  stood  around,  and  they  are  most  splendid 
looking  men.  Tell  E.,  their  dress  is  more  grand  than  the 
picture  of  one  in  my  music  book.  Their  black  plumes 
nodded  in  a  perfect  forest  over  their  caps,  and  it  was  sin- 
gular to  see  their  limbs  bare,  both  above  and  below  the 
knee,  for  a  little  space.  I  felt  all  my  childish  awe  of  sol- 
diers coming  back,  when  I  gazed  on  these  Scotch  High- 
landers, and  I  verily  believe  E.  would  have  bowed  down 
to  them.  But  they  had  very  pleasant  Scotch  faces,  and  I 
did  not  see  that  they  bore  any  arms,  though  I  presume 
they  must  have  had  them  of  some  kind. 

We  landed  on  steps  cut  in  the  rock.  There  were  two 
or  three  of  these  steps,  hewed  not  very  even ;  and  then 
we  walked  along  the  shore,  while  on  one  side  the  city 
walls,  and  a  large  convent  with  grated  windows,  towered 
above.  We  then  turned  from  this  street,  which  is  called 
the  Marina,  and  entered  a  steep,  walled  pathway.  My 
eyes  gazed  with  wonder  and  astonishment  on  every  thing. 
There  was  enough  on  the  Marina  to  excite  my  amaze- 
ment, but  we  hurried  along  amongst  groups  of  Maltese, 
and  on  turning  into  this  narrow  pathway,  we  found  our- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  225 

selves  somewhat  more  quiet,  though  our  Maltese  attend- 
ants were  sufficiently  noisy,  and  a  dirty  little  dog  annoyed 
me  very  much.  From  this  steep  path,  which  we  ascended 
by  long  steps,  we  turned  into  another  a  little  wider,  and 
then  into  St  Paul's  Street,  which  is  long,  even  and  clean, 
and  nearly  as  wide  as  Grove  Street,  in  H.  A  part  is  very 
steep,  but  where  we  passed  to  the  hotel,  to  which  the  Con- 
sul took  us,  it  was  quite  level.  How  strange  the  people 
appeared  to  me  !  Most  of  the  lower  classes  hurrying 
about  their  work,  with  burdens  on  their  heads,  and  some 
who  could  afford  it  wore  black  silk  mantilla's  on  their 
heads,  which  fell  over  their  shoulders.  Priests  were  walk- 
ing here  and  there,  and  mules  dragging  carts  with  immense 
wheels,  toiled  along.  Those  carts  were  the  most  outland- 
ish things  you  can  conceive,  and  the  harness  of  the  mules, 
seemed  made  up  of  bits  of  rags  picked  from  the  streets. 

But  our  Hotel  was  my  admiration.  We  entered  by  a 
long  entry,  and  ascended  by  flights  of  stone  stairs  to  the 
third  story.  In  the  corner  of  the  landings,  stood  pedestals 
about  three  feet  high,  supporting  vases,  where  were 
planted  house  plants,  such  as  geraniums,  &c.  The  pedes- 
tals and  vases  were  of  Malta  stone.  The  hall,  where  we 
stopped  at  last,  was  quite  spacious,  and  looked  down  into 
a  court  in  the  centre  of  the  house,  and  upon  one  side 
opened  the  room  appointed  for  Dr.  A.  and  father.  The 
parlor  and  bed  room  were  very  large  and  airy,  and  exceed- 
ingly high.  The  floors  were  stone,  the  chairs  what  we 
have  been  accustomed  to,  cane  seats,  and  the  sofa's  or 
divan's,  looked  quite  natural  also.  There  was  a  piano  in 
the  room,  and  the  walls  were  adorned  with  Italian  paint- 
ings. In  the  centre  stood  a  very  large  table,  and  a  smaller 
one,  with  a  vase  of  flowers  on  it  stood  by  the  side  of  the 
sofa.  Between  the  two  sofa's,  a  tiny  stove  was  placed, 
and  the  pipe  went  up  to  the  ceiling.     An  old  fashioned 


226  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

book  case,  with  a  few  old  books,  stood  between  the  two 
windows  which  opened  on  the  balcony,  and  two  oranges 
lay  on  the  top  of  the  case,  with  their  stems  and  a  leaf  or 
two  remaining.  On  the  side  opposite  the  sofas,  the  bed 
room  opened,  and  the  beds,  the  frames  of  which  were  of 
iron,  looked  neat  and  comfortable  as  at  home.  The  wash- 
stand  looked  natural,  with  its  vases  for  soap  and  tooth- 
brush. 

While  we  stood  in  the  hall,  looking  at  the  baggage, 
music  struck  up  '  Hail  Columbia^  and  '  Yankee  Doodle,' 
and  we  found  it  was  the  custom  to  salute  strangers  with 
their  national  airs.  We  had  been  followed  by  a  blind  man 
and  one  or  two  others,  who  played  these  tunes  on  our  arri- 
val at  the  Hotel.  The  blind  man  was  the  owner  of  the 
dog,  which  had  annoyed  me  so.  The  Consul  and  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  B.  left  us,  and  our  first  movement  was  to  run  to  the 
balcony  and  survey  the  street.  Miss  M.  was  a  great  help 
in  explaining  things  to  me.  Passing  beneath  us  were  sev- 
eral ladies,  who  appeared  to  be  shopping.  I  was  perfectly 
delighted  with  their  costumes.  Their  ""street  dress  is  a 
black  silk  skirt,  hooked  on  over  their  other  garments, 
which  hangs  in  thick  and  graceful  folds  about  them,  and 
conceals  every  thing  but  their  light  gaiters.  Over  their 
heads,  a  black  mantilla  is  thrown,  of  the  same  material  as 
the  skirt,  and  it  appears  something  like  a  hood.  It  is  held 
on  with  one  hand,  and  with  the  other  hand  they  gracefully 
dispose  the  remaining  part  about  their  persons.  The  effect 
is  beautiful,  and  I  was  exceedingly  interested  in  watching 
the  movements  of  the  younger  ladies,  as  they  followed 
their  mamma's  around.  The  custom  is  for  the  young  un- 
married ladies  not  to  appear  in  the  streets  without  their 
mothers  or  nurses.  Their  gait  is  slow  and  dignified,  and 
they  look  modestly  out  from  under  their  mantillas.  Their 
hair  is  parted  like  our  ladies,  with  two  curls  hanging  each 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  j227 

side,  and  they  all  have  olive  complexions,  and  black  eyes 
and  hair. 

Our  breakfast  was  brought  up,  and  placed  on  the  centre 
table,  and  three  waiters  did  their  work  very  quietly.  Every 
thing  about  breakfast  was  homelike  and  very  nice.  The 
beefsteak,  for  instance,  nice  as  at  home. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  B.  returned  to  go  with  us  round  the  town, 
but  we  had  only  time  to  pass  into  St.  John's  Church,  be- 
fore the  Maltese  boatmen  came  hastily  in,  telling  us  the 
captain  was  waiting.  We  could  only  glance  around.  It 
was  a  gorgeous  Catholic  Church,  such  as  we  see  in  pic- 
tures. Many  were  kneeling  at  their  prayers  ;  but  what 
interested  us  most,  were  the  tablets,  in  Mosaic,  upon  which 
we  were  treading,  and  beneath  which  the  old  knights  lay 
buried. 

As  we  hurried  down  the  steep  streets  to  the  shore,  our 
boatmen  ran  behind  and  before  us,  jabbering  now  Maltese, 
and  now  broken  English,  and  anxious  to  put  in,  each  his 
plea  why  we  should  go  with  him.  It  was  a  strange  scene, 
down  by  the  wharf ;  I  verily  thought  we  should  be  bereft 
of  our  reason  among  their  clamors.  I  stood  close  to  father, 
till  H.  and  the  rest  decided  which  boat  to  take,  and  then 
we  gave  a  hurried  good  bye,  and  rowed  off.  The  Maltese 
boats  are  excellent.     The  boatmen  row  standing  up. 

When  I  reached  the  ship,  I  found  the  excitement  I  had 
been  in,  together  with  getting  much  heated,  had  fatigued 
me  more  than  I  was  aware,  and  I  immediately  took  my 
berth,  and  did  not  leave  it  during  the  remainder  of  the  day. 
We  were  sailing  before  a  fair  wind,  and  rejoicing  in  being 
so  near  the  end  of  our  voyage. 

Our  ship's  company  is  considerably  reduced  ;  but  our 
hearts  are  so  full  of  Smyrna,  we  do  not  mind  it  much, 
though  to  be  alone  without  father,  makes  me  feel  I  am 
indeed   away   from   all  my  early  friends  and  protectors. 


228  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Saturday  we  had  still  a  fine  wind,  but  so  much  motion  that 
I  was  more  sick  than  I  had  been  for  a  longtime,  and  I  was 
obliged  to  keep  my  berth  during  most  of  the  day.  On  Sab- 
bath morning  I  was  able  to  sit  up  in  my  berth,  and  rest  my 
weary  limbs.  On  Sabbath  afternoon,  we  passed  Cape 
Matapan,  the  southern  point  of  Greece,  and  all  the  after- 
noon we  sat  watching  the  shore,  which  rose  majestically 
from  the  sea,  and  the  effect  of  the  lights  and  shadows,  was 
uncommonly  fine.  There  was  indeed  Greece  !  Upon  one 
of  the  tall  cliffs  stood  the  ruins  of  an  ancient  temple,  its 
columns  seemed  lonely  and  sad,  as  they  looked  down  upon 
the  blue  waves  beneath  them.  Several  villages  appeared 
on  the  coast.  The  general  aspect  of  all  these  shores  and 
islands  is  very  bold.  They  rise  in  barren  masses  of  rock 
from  the  sea,  with  here  and  there  green  nooks,  where  a  few 
trees  are  scattered  among  the  grass  ;  but  there  is  a  grandeur 
and  picturesque  loneliness  about  them,  which  makes  them 
very  interesting,  independent  of  the  associations  which 
cluster  around  every  spot. 

That  evening  we  had  service  in  the  cabin.  H.  read 
father's  sermon,  *  Let  us  come  boldly  to  a  throne  of  grace,' 
&c.,  and  I  was  pleased  that  the  steward  stopped  to  listen. 
Dear  father  always  tries  to  do  good.  He  has  been  talking 
with  one  of  the  sailors,  who  is  considerably  interested  in 
religion,  and  H.  wishes,  now  father  has  left,  to  find  an  op- 
portunity to  continue  the  conversation.  We  did  not  pass 
a  very  pleasant  Sabbath,  for  we  were  wearied  out,  and  our 
thoughts  wandered  too  much  ;  but  the  evening  service  was 
pleasant,  and  I  trust  profitable. 

Monday  morning,  the  captain  called  us  to  see  somelarge 
water  spouts.  They  were  very  singular  objects.  We 
found  we  had  gone  uncommonly  well  ;  the  Islands  of  the 
Archipelago  were  all  around  us.  We  had  thought  to  have 
reached  Smjma  on  Tuesday,  and  had  rejoiced  in  the  pros- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  229 

pect ;  but  a  head  wind  came,  and  our  hopes  were  blasted. 
Dear  mother,  I  would  write  more,  but  I  fear  to  use  my 
eyes,  and  must  rest  them.  I  shall  write  to-morrow,  if  pos- 
sible. Oh,  can  it  be  that  we  shall  so  soon  reach  Smyrna  ? 
I  find  it  is  only  eight  miles  to  the  entrance  of  the  gulf." 

"  Thursday  afternoon,  Nov.  2Sd.  We  shall  not  reach 
Smyrna  to-day,  dear  mother,  but  as  some  consolation,  our 
head  wind  has  left  us,  and  we  are  enjoying  the  most  luxu- 
rious day  we  have  had  since  we  commenced  our  voyage. 
H.  has  brought  my  writing  materials  on  deck,  and  I  am 
writing  here  beneath  a  lovely  sky,  while  a  gentle  breeze 
is  wafting  us  along  to  the  entrance  of  the  Gulf,  and  we  have 
every  prospect  of  reaching  Smyrna  to-morrow  morning. 
The  day  reminds  me  of  the  lines  oi  Herbert  : 

*  Sweet  day  so  cool,  so  calm,  so  bright, 
The  bridal  of  the  earth  and  sky.' 

There  is  an  inexpressible  calmness  about  every  object 
The  shores  of  Asia  Minor,  and  the  distant  islands,  sleep  in 
the  sunshine,  and  there  is  scarce  a  cloud  upon  the  sky.  It 
has  been  mild  as  a  day  in  latter  spring,  and  I  have  done 
little  else  than  sit  still  all  day,  and  enjoy  the  luxury  of  bask- 
ing beneath  this  warm  southern  sky.  But  now  I  long  to 
finish  my  journal. 

Monday  was  a  very  cold  day.  Indeed  it  has  been  hard 
to  keep  warm  this  week  until  to-day,  for  the  continued 
north-east  wind,  made  it  like  an  autumn  day  in  America. 
We  were  in  the  midst  of  the  Islands  of  the  Archipelago, 
but  it  was  too  cold  to  remain  on  deck.  At  last,  in  the 
afternoon,  I  got  into  my  berth  to  keep  warm.  Captain 
was  very  sober,  and  H.  very  sad.  Oh,  how  hard  it  was  to 
keep  patient,  when  so  near  Smyrna.  Our  head  wind  was 
very  strong.  We  tacked  all  night  between  the  Islands, 
20 


230  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  as  the  passage  was  very  narrow,  I  had  many  thoughts 
whether  I  was  willing  to  die  on  the  ocean.  I  rested  very 
little,  and  hailed  the  morning  light  with  joy.  Tuesday 
was  a  tolerably  comfortable  day.  We  made  some  prog- 
ress, even  with  our  head  wind,  for  we  have  an  admirable 
vessel  for  sailing.  We  passed  very  near  Tinos,  where  the 
town,  and  an  ancient  Greek  church,  one  of  the  two  most 
noted  churches  of  that  communion,  could  be  distinctly 
seen  ;  but  for  the  first  time  I  remained  below,  when  an 
object  of  interest  was  to  be  seen.  After  dinner,  our  cap- 
tain had  the  matrass  laid  upon  deck,  and  I  sat  some  hours, 
even  till  after  sunset,  watching  our  progress.  The  sky 
was  of  a  glorious  blue,  and  the  clouds  swept  through  it 
finely,  casting  their  shadows  on  the  Islands  around. 

Samos  was  near  us,  but  the  clouds  over  it  hid  Mt.  Ida 
from  our  view.  In  the  distance  lay  Scio,  and  we  were 
endeavoring,  in  spite  of  our  wind,  to  sjain  the  channel  be- 
tween that  and  the  main  land.  How  my  heart  felt,  when 
the  captain  pointed  to  Asia,  rising  faintly  in  the  eastern 
horizon.  1  gazed  there  with  many  thoughts.  On  Wednes- 
day morning,  we  were  entering  the  Straits  of  Scio,  and 
looking  upon  the  mountains,  which  can  be  seen  from 
Smyrna.  It  was  very  cold,  and  I  sat  and  worked  in  our 
state-room  during  the  morning,  while  H.  read  to  me — and 
in  the  afternoon,  wrapped  in  my  cloak,  and  seated  upon 
the  floor,  I  wrote  to  you.  I  wish  I  could  have  written 
every  day  since  we  left  Malta,  for  there  are  many  little 
nothings,  which  when  I  write  daily  can  be  put  in,  and  help 
you  to  form  a  better  idea  of  my  life.  Dear  mother,  I  long 
to  have  you  know  every  thing,  as  when  I  lived  at  home 
by  you.  To  be  detained  by  head  winds,  just  when  our 
hearts  were  leaping  for  joy,  has  been  indeed  trying,  but  it 
has  also  been  good  for  us.  It  has  led  us  to  examine  our 
hearts  more,  and  to  look  to  our  Heavenly  Father  more.     I 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  231 

have  had  many  thoughts  during  these  days  of  suspense. 
Did  God  see  that  my  heart  was  not  in  a  right  frame,  and 
thus  for  a  little  time  deny  us  an  entrance  to  that  spot  so 
increasingly  dear  ?  I  have  prayed  much  during  these  days  ; 
I  have  thought  much  of  my  work,  and  of  my  preparation 
for  it.  I  have  tried  to  be  perfectly  resigned  to  my  Father 
in  Heaven,  and  to  feel  that  he  knows  best,  and  1  hope  that 
I  have,  in  some  measure  succeeded — but  to  rise  these  four 
mornings,  and  hardly  dare  to  ask  how  we  went,  and  then 
to  have  *  hope  deferred,'  did  indeed  make  our  hearts  sick. 
This  morning  we  found  the  wind  prevented  our  entrance 
to  the  Gulf,  and  there  was  no  hope  of  reaching  Smyrna  to- 
day.    We  all  ate  breakfast  in  silence. 

After  breakfast,  1  remained  in  our  state-room  till  the 
captain  came  to  tell  us  *  there  was  no  use  in  freezing  be- 
low, when  it  was  warm  and  bright  on  deck.'  Oh,  how 
bright  and  beautiful  it  was,  and  a  perfect  calm,  also.  The 
captain  said,  ^  a  fair  wind  would  come  next ;'  and  in  the 
course  of  the  day  it  has  come  creeping  along.  How  much 
cause  we  have  to  be  grateful  !  God  is  so  much  better  to 
us  than  our  fears.  H.  is  very  calm,  but  full  of  thought. 
After  writing,  I  sat  and  watched  the  gathering  twilight, 
while  he  paced  the  deck.  The  silver  thread  of  the  new 
moon  shone  over  Cape  Karaburna,  at  the  entrance  of  the 
Gulf,  while  we  glided  along  as  on  a  summer  sea.  We 
came  below  at  half  past  five,  and  commenced  putting  up 
our  things — and  we  have  arranged  all  we  can  to-night. 
A  fine  breeze  is  carrying  us  along,  till  now  we  are  very 
near  our  desired  haven.  Captain  will  anchor  a  few  miles 
from  the  city,  and  go  the  rest  of  the  way  in  the  morning. 
We  had  tea  between  seven  and  eight,  and  have  been  con- 
tinually watching  the  sound  of 'the  water  to  see  if  we  ad- 
vance. The  captain  is  now  sounding,  for  there  is  a  shoal 
which  makes  the  passage  very  narrow,  and  the  anchors  are 


^32  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ready  to  lower.  lam  glad  we  shall  not  enter  Smyrna  till 
daylight,  for  I  want  to  see  the  city  and  country  around. 
They  are  casting  anchor  now.  When  M.  came  to  kiss  me 
good  night,  and  said, '  where  will  you  be  to-morrow  night  ?' 
the  thought  that  I  might  possibly  be  among  those  new 
friends,  and  the  meeting  with  them  past,  came  over  me 
with  new  power.  Will  it  indeed  be?  Oh,  for  strength  to 
go  through  all  which  to-morrow  may  bring!  What  chan- 
ges a  few  months  have  wrought  we  cannot  tell.  Shall  we 
find  *  all  things  well  ?'  O,  these  are  hours  of  suspense  for 
us.  There  goes  the  anchor  !  We  are  fast !  Thank  God  ! 
O,  my  dear  mother,  how  near  we  are !  H.  says  fifteen 
miles  from  Smyrna. 

Friday  morning.  I  am  writing  you  beneath  a  lovely 
sky,  without  a  cloud,  and  we  are  sailing  among  scenery 
far  more  beautiful  than  I  have  ever  imagined.  Dear 
mother,  this  Gulf  of  Smyrna,  with  its  picturesque  moun- 
tain peaks,  and  the  verdant  slopes  which  surround  it,  fill 
my  eye  and  my  heart  too.  We  slept  sweetly  with  the 
consciousness  of  being  so  near  to  the  friends  who  watch  for 
us,  but  the  first  streak  of  dawn  started  us,  and  H.  was  soon 
on  deck.*  We  have  been  putting  up  the  things  and  coming 
up  and  down  the  stairs  many  times,  but  now  all  is  ready 
for  shore. 

We  are  now  by  the  sea  castle,  about  seven  miles  from 
the  city,  slowly  tacking  in, — Smyrna  in  full  sight,  and  the 
land  castle  on  the  hill  behind.  These  scenes  which  have 
occupied  so  many  of  my  dreams  and  waking  visions,  are 
now  here  before  my  eye,  but  far  more  beautiful  than  any 
thing  1  have  ever  imagined.  We  hear  the  shepherd's  calls 
among  the  mountains,  and  lonely  cypress  trees  are  rising 
amid  foliage  of  every  variety  of  green.  Now  and  then  a 
solitary  sea  bird  flies  slowly  over  the  mountains,  or  rests 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  233 

his  wing  upon  the  waters,  which  are  smooth  as  a  lake  be- 
neath this  quiet  sky.  Every  thing  is  bathed  in  sunshine. 
Dear  mother,  am  I  indeed  here  !  The  city  with  its  red 
roofs  rises  before  us.  H.  is  all  absorbed.  We  shall  not 
be  in  till  afternoon,  for  the  wind  is  very  light  and  against 
us  too,  so  that  we  can  only  tack.     Could  you  but  see  this 

land,  so  unlike  all  that  we  ever  looked  upon,  so " 

Here  abruptly  ends  the  journal  of  the  Mediterranean. 
The  next  communication  to  friends  announced  an  illness 
which  confined  her  one  month  to  her  room  and  her  couch. 
She  was  carried  from  the  vessel  in  a  state  of  extreme  ex- 
haustion, and  in  that  state  passed  through  the  desired  yet 
trying  meeting  with  her  husband's  friends.  Tv.'o  weeks 
after  her  arrival  the  journal  was  closed  by  another  hand. 
She  lay  upon  her  bed  and  dictated  a  few  lines,  her  husband 
being  her  amanuensis. 

December  Ith^  1843.  I  must  send  you  my  journal,  my 
dearest  mother,  without  giving  you  any  of  my  impressions 
of  Smyrna.  Of  the  city  itself  I  have  seen  nothing,  and  in 
my  two  quiet  rooms,  there  is  very  little  comparatively  to 
remind  me  that  I  am  five  thousand  miles  from  my  child- 
hood's home,  among  the  bearded  chins  and  turbaned 
heads  of  these  oriental  nations. 

You  know  how  many  notes  and  letters  I  intended  to 
send  by  the  Stamboul ;  but  I  must  forego  that  pleasure, 
and  send  only  messages  to  my  friends.  How  little  I  anti- 
cipated this  illness  !  I  think  I  have  learned  somewhat 
better,  not  to  form  plans  for  the  future.  I  lie  on  my  bed 
and  ask,  have  I  been  brought  thus  far  to  be  only  a  useless 
encumbrance  }  I  hope  I  may  be  resigned  to  whatever  sta- 
tion my  heavenly  Father  wishes  me  to  fill,  whether  in 
sickness  or  in  health. 

Give  my  love  to  all  my  friends,  and  when  a  ship  comes 
20* 


234 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


do  send  me  a  large  package  of  letters.  I  want  to  hear 
from  all  of  them.  Tell  dear  aunt,  I  have  constantly  some 
little  pleasant  thing  to  remind  me  of  her ;  and  I  fancy  her 
going  down  with  her  bright  face  to  see  you  very  often. 
My  love  to  Miss  B. ;  tell  her  how  sorry  I  am  I  can  not 
send  her  promised  letter.  And  all  my  little  friends ;  give 
them  a  great  deal  of  love.  Tell  them  I  think  of  them  in 
their  little  prayer  meeting,  and  their  Sunday  school  class 
continually.  I  cannot  mention  all  my  friends,  but  I  have 
them  all  in  my  mind,  and  I  lie  here  and  think  of  them  one 
by  one,  and  long  to  see  them.  How  sorry  I  am  to  be  sick 
while  dear  father  is  here. 

Now,  dear  mother,  1  must  say  good  bye.  I  come  to 
America  almost  every  night  in  my  dreams.  I  wonder  if 
you  don't  sometimes  come  to  Smyrna.  I  wish  you  could 
know  how  many  comforts  I  have  here,  and  what  kind 
friends  to  take  care  of  me.  But  I  think  of  you  a  great 
deal,  how  can  I  help  it !     May  God  give  you  every  bless- 


Your  affectionate  daughter, 

Mari 


CHAPTER  XI. 


RESIDENCE    IN    SMYRNA. 


Smyrna^  December  26th,  1843. 
My  own  dear  mother, — It  is  a  great  comfort  to  me  that 
I  am  able  to  commence  my  writing  to  you  again,  for  I  feel 
as  if  indeed  separated  from  you,  when  I  cannot  come  and 
tell  you  all  that  interests  me.  O,  how  sweet  your  letter 
was  to  me  !  We  received  it  last  Saturday,  and  every 
time  I  read  it,  I  feel  as  if  I  heard  your  voice,  and  pressed 
you  to  my  heart,  and  could  look  into  your  eyes.  Its  sweet 
influence  follows  me  wherever  I  go  and  whatever  I  do. 

Oh,  how  often  I  thank  God  for  giving  me  such  parents ! 
Now  while  I  am  coming  out  into  the  world,  beginning  to 
think  and  act  for  myself,  1  feel  continually  that  the  holy 
influences  which  blest  my  childhood  and  youth,  in  that 
home  of  New  England,  are  the  richest  of  inheritances. 
And  my  mother,  when  there  come  painful  thoughts  about 
the  separation,  I  look  beyond  this  life,  to  the  time  when 
we  shall  live  together  in  heaven.  How  like  a  mother  is 
every  line  of  your  letter,  but  if  you  forget  the  hours  of  sor- 
row and  care  I  may  have  cost  you,  and  remember  only  the 
little  comfort  I  may  have  been,  I  cannot  forget  them. 
How  many  things  I  would  alter  if  I  lived  my  life  over 
again.     How  tenfold  more  carefully  would  I  consult  all 


236  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

your  wishes.  Those  were  pleasant  hours  when  we  sat 
together  and  sewed  and  talked,  and  when  we  walked  on 
the  hill  together  !  I  have  been  reminded  of  them  while 
sitting  here  with  my  Smyrna  mamma,  and  threading  her 
needle  as  I  used  to  do  for  you.  Yes,  dear  mother,  I  will 
"  try  to  be  a  comfort  to  her,"  and  to  you  also.  May  God 
enable  me  to  give  you  satisfaction  in  all  that  I  do.  I  will 
try  to  follow  all  your  wishes,  all  your  counsels.  Oh,  tell 
me  as  you  ever  have,  what  you  wish  me  to  do  and  be,  and 
may  you  see,  that  all  your  care  of  me,  your  faithful  tender 
care  and  love  for  so  many  years,  has  not  been  quite  lost 
upon  your  daughter. 

I  closed  my  journal  to  you  the  morning  we  came  in 
sight  of  Smyrna.  That  day  1  never  can  forget,  so  brightly 
shone  the  sun  upon  the  water  and  the  beautiful  shores. 
Smyrna  lay  far  in  the  distance,  with  its  red  roofed  houses. 
Then  my  meeting  with  H's.  friends  and  my  Eastern  life 
was  all  in  the  future ;  but  a  few  hours  after  it  began  to  be 
present ;  and  now  Smyrna  seems  almost  another  home, 
and  these  friends  have  ceased  to  be  strangers.  It  was  late 
in  the  afternoon,  perhaps  four  o'clock,  when  we  spied  the 
boat  containing  H.'s  brothers  coming  towards  us.  We 
were  some  miles  from  the  city,  but  they  had  gained  per- 
mission to  come  on  board,  provided  they  too  would  go  into 
quarantine,  if  the  Stamboul  went.  How  my  heart  beat 
when  those  six  tall  young  men,  all  joyous  in  meeting  H. 
came  along  side.  I  staid  in  the  cabin  till  H.  called  me, 
which  was  as  soon  as  they  were  fairly  on  deck  and 
I  went  through  the  meeting  very  pleasantly,  for  they 
were  kind,  good,  frank,  and  very  happy,  so  we  soon  be- 
came friends.  The  captain,  who  went  on  shore  to  obtain 
"pratique,''  by  some  mistake  of  the  officers  did  not  suc- 
ceed, and  so  the  whole  company  remained  all  night  on 
board.     Abram,  one  of  the  clerks,  came  to  see  what  was 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  237 

the  matter,  but  nothing  could  be  done  to  help  it.  They 
heaped  on  coal  to  make  the  fire  burn  brightly  in  the  parlor 
at  home,  and  waited  in  vain  for  us  to  appear.  Just  at 
dusk,  while  standing  on  deck,  I  was  taken  suddenly  very 
ill,  and  my  illness  increased  so  during  the  night,  that  I 
thought  I  never  could  be  moved  into  the  city,  and  almost 
concluded  I  must  die  in  the  Stamboul,  but  as  morn  ap- 
proached there  w^as  some  mitigation  of  my  sufferings. 
The  captain  obtained  "pratique"  by  dawn,  and  a  light 
breexe  took  us  in  amongst  the  shipping  to  the  place  for  an- 
chorage. I  was  so  weak  and  exhausted  1  feared  it  would 
be  impossible  for  me  to  go  on  shore,  but  by  H.'s  assistance 
I  was  placed  in  the  arm  chair  and  lowered  by  the  sailors 
into  the  little  boat.  I  was  as  you  may  well  imagine,  in  a 
sad,  strange  state.  The  boat  glided  on  as  over  a  summer 
sea,  and  the  cool  morning  air  revived  me.  I  was  so  weak 
that  I  scarcely  know  how  we  met  on  shore  ;  but  sick  as  I 
was,  I  shall  never  forget  the  beautiful  sight  they  all  made 
coming  along  the  court  to  meet  us.  At  length  I  was 
placed  quietly  upon  the  sofa  in  mamma's  room,  and  then 
I  was  at  rest. 

December  27M.  My  dear  mother,  — I  am  writing  to  you 
in  my  own  house,  and  in  a  very  pleasant  parlor.  A  beau- 
tiful clear  morning  is  shining,  but  it  is  very  cold,  and  it  is 
strange  that  1  feel  the  cold  here  more  than  I  ever  did  in 
America.  Our  house  is  quite  a  warm  one  for  this  place, 
and  the  little  parlor  in  which  I  am  writing  is  heated  by  a 
cheerful  grate.  The  two  little  tables  on  either  side  the  fire 
place  are  ornamented  by  the  gifts  of  my  friends.  The 
work  box  which  Mrs.  E.  gave  me  is  a  treasure.  One 
large  window  lights  the  room,  looking  on  the  street,  and 
white  muslin  curtains,  M'ith  a  pretty  green  and  purple 
fringe  hang  very  gracefully  over  it.  Our  little  room  I  am 
sure  you  would  call  quite  cheerful.  It  has  an  American 
look.     Our  desire  is  to  have  things  neat,  plain  and  in  taste, 


238  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

SO  that  we  can  be  comfortable,  and  have  it  pleasant  for  our 
friends. 

Dear  father  left  for  Constantinople  the  very  day  we 
came  to  our  house,  which  was  last  Friday,  and  will  return 
in  a  few  weeks  and  stay  with  us.  Our  house  is  so  com- 
fortable and  the  prospect  from  it  so  beautiful,  that  I  fear 
we  shall  become  too  much  attached  to  it.  Could  you  but 
have  one  look  from  our  terrace,  of  the  gulf  and  the  noble 
amphitheatre  of  mountains  rising  in  a  sky  of  cloudless  blue, 
you  would  understand  why  H.  loves  his  country  so*  well. 
But  I  trust  we  are  willing  to  leave  this  place  whenever 
duty  calls.  We  have  given  ourselves  to  the  work  of  mis- 
sions, and  if  it  will  best  promote  that  cause  for  us  to  labor 
elsewhere,  would  not  you,  dear  mother,  trust  us  in  God's 
hands,  and  be  willing  for  us  to  leave  Smyrna  ?  It  may  be, 
and  perhaps  will  be  best  for  us  to  remove  to  Constantino- 
ple. The  thing  will  not  be  done  hastily.  Mrs.  V.  L.  ap- 
pears very  sweetly  about  it,  and  irt  the  trial  of  giving  up  H. 
knows  better  how  to  sympathize  with  you,  dear  mother. 
God  will  direct.  The  situation  at  C.  is  one  which  H. 
is  well  calculated  to  fill.  It  is  very  interesting  too,  to 
become  the  guide  of  young  Armenians  ;  for  if  he  goes  he  is 
to  be  connected  with  the  seminary.  Here  I  am  in  the 
midst  of  a  pleasant  circle  of  friends,  but  I  am  willing  to  go 
with  dear  H.  cheerfully  amongst  strangers.  At  first,  the 
thought  was  very  painful.  All  my  sympathies  are  in 
Smyrna.     You  know  I  have  loved  it  for  years. 

To  her  father  on  his  birth  day. 

My  own  dear  father, — How  little  we  thought  last  De- 
cember that  when  next  your  birth-day  morning  should 
shine,  it  would  find  you  on  the  shores  of  the  Mediterrane- 
an, in  the  land  where  prophets  and  apostles  have  lived  and 
labored.  So  strange  is  our  life!  so  little  we  know  what 
even  a  day,  much  less  a  year,  will  bring!     And  yet,  dear 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  239 

father,  have  we  not  as  our  years  roll  away,  increasing 
cause  for  trust  in  God,  and  for  gratitude  to  Him,  who  fills 
our  cup  with  so  many  blessings  ? 

We  have  come,  dear  father,  your  two  children,  here  in 
this  Eastern  land,  to  offer  our  earnest  wishes,  that  the  life 
which  God  has  so  graciously  preserved  these  many  years, 
may  still  be  blessed  with  his  favor  and  love  ;  and  that 
your  labors  in  his  cause,  which  in  times  past  have  been  so 
richly  crowned  with  his  favor,  may  still  enjoy  the  smiles  of 
his  approbation. 

Do  you  wish  to  know  how  my  heart  feels  about  our  re- 
moval to  Constantinople?  I  think  that  as  a  missionary  I 
can  say  I  am  ready  to  go  cheerfully,  wherever  Christ's 
cause  can  be  best  promoted  by  our  feeble  labors ;  and  I 
hope  that  this  plan  is  from  him,  and  one  which  he  will  own 
and  bless.  I  know  that  I  need  not  ask  your  prayers.  I 
am  persuaded  that  you  continually  remember  us  in  our 
work,  and  that  when  you  return  to  your  sphere  of  useful- 
ness, you  will  rejoice  in  the  thought  that  we  are  endeavor- 
ing to  diffuse  among  those  who  do  not  know  our  Saviour, 
the  light  of  truth  which  he  has  in  love  granted  us.  Mrs. 
Van  Lennep  has  indeed  a  hard  struggle  in  giving  up  Hen- 
ry. She  knows  now  how  to  sympathize  with  you  and  my 
dear  mother,  but  her  Christian's  feelings  rise  over  every 
other ;  and  she  said  to  me,  while  the  tears  were  in  her 
eyes,  after  Dr.  Anderson  left,  "  1  have  comfort  in  this 
promise,    'They  that  water  shall  be  watered.'" 

And  now  my  dear  father,  though  we  are  called  to  en- 
dure separations  and  trials  in  this  life,  yet  let  us  look  for- 
ward to  that  higher  and  holier  existence  which  the  gospel 
reveals.  There  may  we  all  at  last  be  gathered,  with  many 
of  those  for  whom  we  are  laboring. 

Ever  your  affectionate  daughter, 

Mary  E.  Van  Lennep. 

Smyrna,  December  22d,  1843. 


240  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

The  winter  that  Mary  spent  in  Smyrna,  there  was  to 
some  extent  a  re-organization  of  our  missions  in  the  East. 
An  important  change  was  made  in  the  Smyrna  mission. 
Some  of  its  laborers  returned  home,  and  some  were  re- 
moved to  other  fields.  Among  the  removed  was  the  hus- 
band of  Mary.  It  was  thought  that  his  usefulness  would 
be  greatly  increased  by  removing  him  to  another  and  a 
wider  sphere  of  action.  This  was  a  great  and  an  unex- 
pected trial  to  both  of  them,  and  particularly  to  Mary. 
When  she  gave  herself  to  the  work  of  missions,  it  was 
with  the  expectation  of  being  located  in  Smyrna,  at  least 
for  a  consiJerable  time,  as  that  was,  and  had  ever  been, 
the  field  of  her  husband's  labors.  All  her  preparations  had 
been  made  with  reference  to  that  place,  and  she  expected 
to  remain  there,  until  she  should  become  acclimated,  and 
accustomed  to  Eastern  life.  She  hoped  also  to  have  re- 
mained in  her  Smyrna  home,  as  she  had  for  some  time 
regarded  it,  until  she  should  have  qualified  herself  by  a 
study  of  the  languages,  to  take  her  place  among  the  mis- 
sionaries of  the  East.  Added  to  all,  she  had  friends  there, 
with  whom  she  had  corresponded  from  her  childhood,  and 
for  two  years  she  had  looked  to  it  as  her  future  home.  A 
guiding  and  overruling  providence  had  led  her  steps  thither, 
and  to  human  view  she  was  well  qualified  for  the  state  of 
society  which  existed  there. 

It  is  not  surprising,  therefore,  that  it  should  have  cost 
her  something  of  a  struggle  to  bring  herself  with  cheerful- 
ness to  leave  the  place ;  nor  that  it  should  have  been  an 
additional  source  of  perplexity  to  her  mind,  when  at  length, 
a  new  and  very  important  field  was  assigned  as  the  scene 
of  their  future  labors,  the  main  burden  of  which  was  to 
rest  upon  herself,  and  which  would  require  the  united  en- 
ergies both  of  experience  and  of  physical  strength. 

During  all  this  winter  they  were  kept  in  a  continual 


MRS   MARY  E.  VAN  LENNKP.  241 

state  of  agitation  and  suspense,  uncertain  where  they  were 
to  be  stationed,  and  what  would  be  their  particular  sphere 
of  labor.  In  the  mean  time  they  devoted  themselves  to 
the  languages,  and  also  to  what  of  Christian  influence  they 
could  exert  over  the  large  and  interesting  field  where 
Providence  had  placed  them,  among  whom,  as  Mary  said, 
there  were  many  "  they  were  longing  to  win  to  Christ." 

In  consequence  of  this  unsettled  state  of  things,  they 
could  form  no  plan  of  effort  which  they  could  pursue  for 
any  certain  time  ;  and  as  a  consequence  of  this,  there  was 
no  account  of  labor  that  could  be  placed  in  the  annals  of 
missions  ;  but  it  is  believed  that  another  day  will  show 
that  some  few  names  at  least  have  found  their  way  into  the 
Lamb's  Book  of  Life,  as  the  result  of  her  brief  residence 
there. 

Extracts  from  her  first  S.  Journal. 

*'  Friday  afternoon^  Jan.  12th,  1844. 

"  My  dearest  Mother,  I  have  been  wishing  these  many 
days  to  commence  my  journal  to  you,  yet  I  have  so  many 
things  to  say  I  scarcely  know  where  to  commence  ;  and  if 
I  were  not  determined  you  should  have  a  good  idea  how 
my  life  passes,  I  should  be  discouraged  from  attempting  it. 
But,  my  dear  mother,  there  is  coming  an  hour,  a  joyful 
hour,  when  in  heaven  and  at  rest,  H.  and  you  and  I  can 
talk  over  all  the  dealings  of  our  Father,  and  '  remember 
all  the  way  that  God  has  led  us.' 

I  have  told  you  of  the  meeting  with  H.'s  friends,  and  to 
the  time  when  I  entered  his  mother's  room,  all  bewildered 
and  weak,  and  found  a  resting  place  on  the  sofa.  That 
first  day  of  my  Smyrna  life  was  full  of  thoughts.  The 
physician  was  immediately  called  in,  and  then  all  left  me 
but  mamma,  (my  Smyrna  mamma,)  In  the  course  of  the 
21 


242  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

morning  Crusula,  the  Greek  woman,  appeared  with  some 
rice  gruel  for  me.  H.  shall  draw  you  the  picture  of  a 
Greek  woman  sometime.  During  the  afternoon  J  slept, 
and  when  waking  heard  the  clock,  which  stands  in  the 
coridor,  striking  five,  and  I  had  the  half  bewildered  feeling 
which  one  has  on  waking  in  a  strange  place,  after  strange 
events.  Mamma  and  H.  sat  in  the  room  with  me,  and 
other  members  of  the  family  came  in  for  a  few  moments. 
It  was  soon  dark,  and  they  all  left  me  for  supper,  and  my 
Greek  woman  came  with  something  for  me.  Then  I  lay 
alone  on  the  sofa,  and  while  dozing  heard  the  family  sing- 
ing  their  evening  hymn  after  prayers.  The  voices  all 
blended  so  perfectly,  and  the  music  came  in  such  a  deep 
rich  strain,  in  half  chanting  style,  that  I  lay  spell  boupd, 
my  whole  frame  thrilled.  The  words  were  '  Our  days  are 
as  the  grass,'  and  though  I  could  not  distinguish  them, 
they  sang  with  so  much  expression  1  could  almost  tell  the 
sentiments. 

The  next  morning  I  had  my  coffee  in  bed.  Don't  be 
startled,  dear  mother,  it  was  barley  coffee,  the  family  take 
it  for  health's  sake.  Coffee,  with  a  piece  of  delicious 
bread  was  my  only  breakfast  during  my  illness  there,  or 
instead  of  bread,  1  sometimes  had  a  kind  of  French  crust, 
which  comes  from  France,  and  is  better  for  invalids.  Cru- 
sula, or  else  Adonia,  would  bring  my  coffee  along  the  cor- 
idor  as  soon  as  H.  went  out  to  breakfast,  and  then  mamma 
would  come  immediately  after  and  see  how  I  did.  I  used 
to  watch  for  her  sweet  smile  and  cheerful  voice.  Then 
after  prayers  she  would  come  and  help  me  dress  and  take 
my  place  on  the  sofa,  The  women  here  are  great  ene- 
mies to  cold  water  in  sickness.  I  quite  laughed  at  Cru- 
sula's  idea  of  heating  the  water  I  drank,  but  I  did  have  to 
drink  boiled  water  half  cooled,  some  of  the  time,  for  I  made 
up  my  mind  to  do  just  as  the  ladies  in  this  country  do. 

The  day  after  my  arrival  was  the  Sabbath,  you  know, 


BIRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  243 


The  Sabbaths  at  Mrs.  V.  L.'s  are  very  still.  All  go  to 
the  Dutch  chapel  at  ten  in  the  morning,  and  in  the  after- 
noon, mamma  and  several  of  the  family  attend  the  mis- 
sionary service,  which  is  also  in  the  chapel.  From  my 
room  I  heard  no  street  sounds,  for  the  house  is  in  a  court. 
Occasionally  a  camel  bell,  and  the  bells  of  the  churches, 
which  ring  at  eight,  twelve,  and  four,  during  the  week,  and 
every  half  hour  on  the  Sabbath.  These  were  almost  all 
the  sounds  that  came  to  my  room.  The  bright  blue  sky 
looked  in  at  the  window,  the  evening  gun  sounded  at  half 
past  seven,  the  partridges  made  their  voices  heard  on  the 
terrace,  for  E.  was  taming  some,  and  the  favorite  cat 
would  jump  on  the  window  and  mew  to  be  admitted. 
Thus  I  had  few  sounds  to  remind  me  I  was  in  Asia. 
Yet  many  strange  things  would  come  under  my  observa- 
tion, and  even  in  my  room  I  gradually  became  acquainted 
with  Smyrna  life,  and  Smyrna  beings.  As  I  was  able  to 
bear  it,  the  relatives  of  the  family  would  come  one  at  a 
time  and  have  a  little  pleasant  chat  with  me.  On  Mon- 
day afternoon  the  Consul  called.  He  had  called  before, 
but  I  had  not  been  able  to  see  him,  and  when  he  came  the 
second  time,  mamma  thought  I  had  better  receive  him.  I 
dreaded  the  meeting,  yet  he  was  so  kind,  and  his  blessing 
was  so  patriarchal,  that  I  quickly  felt  easy. 

The  first  part  of  the  time  I  was  at  Mrs.  V.  L.'s  my  mind 
was  occupied  very  much  with  my  illness.  My  state 
seemed  rather  peculiar,  and  puzzled  them  all — of  course  it 
puzzled  me,  and  sometimes  I  thought  I  should  never  be 
well  again.  I  was  indeed  sick,  and  suffered  much  from 
pain  ;  but  they  were  all  so  kind  to  me,  and  mamma  was 
so  careful,  just  as  you  are,  that  I  felt  I  was  indeed  amongst 
friends. 

The  first  week  we  were  there,  H.  was  occupied  with 
our  things,  getting  them  from   the  ship,  and  unpacking. 


244  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

It  was  on  Monday  evening  after  our  arrival  that  my  piano 
was  unpacked,  and  set  up  in  the  large  parlor.  I  was  de- 
lighted to  find  how  much  all  were  pleased,  particularly  R. 
whose  taste  and  judgment  are  so  exquisite  in  music.  How 
thrillingly  the  tones  first  sounded  !  How  they- carried  me 
back  to  the  window  beneath  the  cherry  trees  in  my  own 
dear  home.  The  following  days  my  bureau  was  unpacked, 
and  the  things  all  taken  out  to  see  if  they  were  hurt.  I 
lay  on  the  sofa  while  one  drawer  after  another  was  opened 

and  brought  into  the  room,  and   L y   undid  the   things. 

There  were  the  beautiful  gifts  of  my  dear  friends.  How 
precious  every  thing  was  to  me,  even  the  very  papers  they 
were  wrapped  in.  Oh,  mamma,  if  friendship  is  so  sweet 
on  earth,  what  mustut  be  in  heaven,  where  there  are  no 
separations,  no  regrets,  to  mingle  with  our  love  ! 

On  the  second  Sabbath  after  our  arrival,  dear  father 
came  from  Athens.  All  day  on  Saturday  we  watched  for 
the  steamer,  but  not  until  Sunday  morning  did  it  appear. 
Before  breakfast  one  of  the  brothers  knocked  at  our  door 
to  say  that  the  steamer  was  in  sight,  and  would  be  in  in 
half  an  hour.  So  H.  took  coffee  and  went  with  Augustus 
on  board.  Meantime  mamma  came  to  get  me  ready  to  see 
father,  but  there  were  so  many  things  for  him  to  do,  that 
he  did  not  come  to  us  till  after  the  family  had  returned 
from  the  chapel.  Then  he  came,  and  I  was  so  glad.  It 
seemed  so  strange  to  him  that  he  was  really  in  Smyrna. 
Mamma  came  and  saw  him,  and  then  he  prayed  with  us. 

The  Tuesday  after  his  arrival,  I  began  to  be  much  worse, 
and  on  Wednesday  morning  I  was  unable  to  leave  my  bed. 
I  was  weak  and  full  of  pain.  Those  were  weary  days  in 
bed.  1  counted  the  hours,  and  tried  every  way  to  beguile 
the  time;  sometimes  by  repeating  poetry  I  had  long  for- 
gotten ;  sometimes  by  thinking  of  home  friends,  but  that, 
in  my  state,  made  the  tears  come,  and  then  dear  H.  felt 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  245 

badly,  and  I  could  not  bear  to  pain  him.  He  watched 
every  symptom  I  had,  and  for  his  sake  I  tried  to  be  cheer- 
ful and  patient.  During  my  confinement  to  my  bed,  dear 
father  would  come  and  sit  hy  me  a  few  moments  each 
day.  I  was  very  sad  at  not  being  able  to  see  him  more, 
and  I  saw  he  was  sad  and  worried — and  how  sorry  I  felt 
to  be  sick  while  he  was  in  Smyrna." 

It  was  during  this  illness  that  the  proposed  plan  of  her 
husband's  removal  was  made  known  to  her.  Her  own 
account  of  the  matter  is  so  simple  and  touching  that  it  may 
not  be  uninteresting  if  it  is  inserted  here.  "  At  first  my 
heart  died  within  me  ;  but  I  prayed  much  over  it.  You 
know  how  all  my  interests  were  in  Smyrna,  and  then  I 
had  got  the  idea  that  H.'s  influence  was  necessary  to  his 
family.  The  plan  seemed  pleasant  to  H.,  though  the  idea 
of  leaving  his  home  was  trying  to  him.  He  felt  that  the 
station  in  the  high  school  was  the  place  for  him,  and  just 
suited  his  tastes  ;  and  that  so  long  as  he  was  a  missionary 
his  great  work  must  be  on  unevangelized  ground,  and  that 
however  badly  he  and  his  family  felt  about  separating,  yet, 
if  he  could  do  more  good  in  any  other  field  he  must  go.  I 
tried  to  feel  just  as  he  did,  and  became  more  and  more 
reconciled  to  it.  Sabbath  was  a  precious  day  indeed  ;  we 
talked  and  prayed  over  all  our  affairs,  and  felt  comforted 
that  God  would  order  all  things  right.  It  was  a  great  trial 
to  mamma.  She  could  not  speak  of  it.  Her  eyes  were 
filled  with  tears  often,  and  yet  she  very  sweetly  gave  up 
H.  to  the  call  of  duty.  Still  she  clung  to  the  hope  of  our 
remaining,  for  it  was  not  decided.  When  every  body  was 
rejoicing  in  our  pleasant  new  house,  we  felt  it  was  not  our 
home  ;  and  I  tried  to  look  only  to  heaven,  for  we  felt  there 
indeed  is  our  only  resting  place.  Every  Constantinople 
steamer  we  watched  for  anxiously ;  and  last  week  letters 
21* 


246  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

told  US  that  the  plan  could  not  be  effected.  Still  we  re- 
main unsettled,  for  Dr.  A.  has  the  opinion  that  we  had  bet- 
ter remove.  But  we  are  in  God's  hands.  These  trials 
have  been  blessed  to  our  hearts,  in  many  ways.  It  has 
interested  me  more  in  my  missionary  work,  and  taught  me 
to  look  to  heaven  more.  At  present  H.  is  occupied  with 
the  Turkish  language,  and  perhaps  we  may  live  and  die  in 
Smyrna.  Our  greatest  desire  is  to  be  where  we  can  do 
the  most  good,  and  God  will  direct  us." 

On  the  day  Mary  entered  her  own  house,  her  father  left 
for  Constantinople.  Just  before  embarking  he  had  "  the 
pleasure  of  stepping  in,  and  giving  H.  and  herself  his  bless- 
ing," in  their  new  residence.  She  had  hoped  to  have  the  sat- 
isfaction of  his  society  on  entering  it,  but  she  consoled  her- 
self with  the  expectation  of  a  long  visit  when  the  business 
which  called  him  to  Constantinople  should  be  accom- 
plished. But  she  was  destined  to  experience  another  dis- 
appointment. Instead  of  returning  and  spending  the  re- 
mainder of  the  winter  with  her  as  was  expected,  it  was 
thought  necessary  for  him  to  go  to  Trebizond.  Of  course 
he  must  make  the  voyage  of  the  Black  Sea ;  and  she  felt 
considerable  solicitude  for  his  safety  during  this  somewhat 
hazardous  undertaking.  And  then  his  stay  must  be  very 
brief,  after  his  return.  He  must  soon  leave  those  shores 
for  his  far  off  home,  and  she  would  look  upon  him  in  this 
world  again — never. 

Smyrna,  Jan.  19th,  1844. 
*'  My  dear  Mrs.  F.  Those  quiet  hours  when  I  used  to 
talk  with  you  of  Eastern  life,  come  often  to  my  memory, 
now  that  I  am  mingling  with  scenes  which  then  dwelt  in 
the  dim  future.  H.  and  I  very  often  talk  of  you,  and  I  tell 
him  so  much  about  the  pleasant  times  I  have  had  in  your 
family,  that  New  Haven  scenes  and  IN^ew  Haven  friends 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  247 

have  become  quite  familiar.  I  have  brought  you  all  to 
Smyrna  with  me  in  my  heart.  Oh  my  dear,  dear  friends, 
we  are  not  separated,  even  by  this  great  ocean  ;  for  if 
warm  affection  and  continual  interest  in  all  that  concerns 
you,  can  make  you  feel  near  to  me,  though  absent,  then  I 
shall  have  you  close  by  my  side  while  I  mingle  in  this  new 
life,  so  strange  and  new,  that  I  almost  doubt,  if  I  ever 
were  '  M.  H.'  And  yet  I  have  too  many  recollections  con- 
nected with  her  life^  and  think  too  much,  and  too  warmly, 
of  the  friends  she  knew,  to  doubt  my  personal  identity 
long.  The  great  trial  in  my  intercourse  with  my  dear 
home  is,  that  it  must  be  so  long  before  I  can  know  what 
happens  there.  But  we  try  to  trust  you  all  in  the  hands 
of  our  Heavenly  Father,  while  we  hope  we  are  preparing 
our  hearts  with  you,  for  a  happy  meeting,  when  the  sins, 
the  sicknesses,  and  the  separations  of  this  life  are  forever 
over. 

The  talks  I  have  had  so  many  times  with  you,  I  find 
many  occasions  to  remember.  Your  experience  in  many 
things  I  try  to  profit  by,  and  something  in  our  household 
arrangements,  is  continually  reminding  me  of  your  ways, 
and  I  think  how  aunt  Susan  did  such  and  such  things.  I 
have  many  scenes  which  I  could  describe  to  you,  of  our 
life  here.  In  my  journal  to  mamma,  I  try  to  keep  her 
informed  of  all  that  passes,  and  to  let  her  know  how  Ori- 
ental life  appears  to  me.  But  you  will  want  to  know 
whether  my  anticipations  agreed  with  the  reality.  You 
know  I  always  feared  to  anticipate  much,  and  so  I  was 
not  likely  to  be  disappointed  ;  but  if  I  had  anticipated 
much  more,  there  would  have  been  no  danger  of  disap- 
pointment. 1  find  myself  in  the  midst  of  a  warm  hearted, 
affectionate,  sincere  circle,  who  treat  me  as  one  of  them. 
I  have  every  thing  I  could  wish  so  far  as  their  intercourse 
with  me  is  concerned.     Mrs.  V.  L.  is  a  very  lovely  lady, 


248  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  it  is  a  pleasure  to  call  her  '  mamma,'  and  to  look  up  to 
her  for  counsel  and  guidance.  In  her  I  have  found  one 
who  in  a  measure  supplies  the  need  I  feel  for  my  own 
precious  mother. 

I  like  every  thing  in  the  manner  of  living.  H.  laughs 
and  says  I  was  made  to  he  an  '  Oriental.'  1  believe  I  have 
surprised  them  allj  by  falling  in  so  readily  with  the  ordi- 
nary Eastern  mode  of  life,  and  they  say  it  must  be,  because 
I  came  prepared  to  be  pleased,  and  had  not  the  prejudices 
that  Americans  generally  have. 

But  why  should  I  write  these  things.  My  heart  is  not 
now  thinking  of  Smyrna,  it  has  come  to  your  room,  and  it 
longs  for  an  assurance  that  this  winter  has  not  made  you 
worse.  O  could  I  know  that  you  were  better!  God  leads 
us,  dear  aunt  S.j  by  different  ways,  to  prepare  us  for  a 
holier  existence.  He  tries  our  characters  by  the  discipline 
they  most  need.  It  will  he  blessed  to  reach  at  last  the 
heavenly  world  !  The  happier  1  am  here,  the  more  I  look 
forward  to  heaven.  I  think  increasing  affection  makes  our 
spirits  look  forward  more  earnestly,  to  a  higher  existence, 
and  We  seek  in  the  hopes  which  the  knowledge  of  that 
higher  existence  brings,  the  pledge  of  a  continued  and  en- 
during affection,  beyond  this  fleeting  life.  The  scenes 
through  which  I  have  passed  these  last  six  months,  have 
introduced  me  to  many  new  incidents  in  life's  great  drama  ; 
and  1  think  changing  to  a  life  so  very  unlike  what  my 
childhood  has  been,  makes  this  world  seem  more  what  it 
really  is,  a  passing  shadow  ;  while  all  that  is  connected 
with  the  soul  and  its  destinies,  assumes  a  far  deeper 
importance. 

I  need  not  tell  you,  that  it  is  interesting  to  become  ac- 
quainted with  new  modes  of  thinking,  and  new  forms  of 
character.  I  find,  however,  that  I  am  still  in  the  midst  of 
human  beings^  with  human  sympathies — but  I  am  contin- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  249 

ually  reminded  that  I  am  in  the  midst  of  a  land,  where  the 
reHgion  of  Jesus  does  not  shed  its  benign  influence.  A  true 
Christian  is  a  rare  being  here  ;  and  yet  there  are  such,  and 
their  silent  influence  works  slowly  but  surely. 

Our  house  is  most  delightful.  It  stands  on  the  sea-side  ; 
and  we  have  a  garden  filled  with  roses,  and  orange  and 
lemon  trees,  now  in  bloom  and  bearing  ripe  fruit  too.  The 
view  from  our  terrace  is  the  finest  I  ever  looked  upon. 
The  Gulf  reposes  in  the  midst  of  noble  and  picturesque 
mountain  scenery,  and  over  all  is  thrown  an  exquisite 
violet  and  rose  coloring,  the  charm  of  all  these  skies.  An 
Austrian  frigate  is  anchored  in  front  of  our  house,  about 
forty  rods  from  the  shore,  and  when  lowering  their  flag  at 
sunset,  the  band  connected  with  it  play  every  evening, 
with  exquisite  taste,  a  slow  and  solemn  hymn  ;  which  H. 
says  is  a  prayer  of  itself. 

I  thank  you  very  much  for  your  precious  lock  of  hair,  and 
for  the  kind  words  I  received  from  you  both,  just  before 
our  departure.  That  was  a  sad  parting  in  Boston.  You, 
my  dear  aunt  S.,  I  know  will  remember  us  and  pray  for  us. 
We  shall  meet  again,  to  ^  talk  of  all  the  way  our  God  has 
led  us.'  It  will  not  be  here — but  through  grace  it  may  be 
in  heaven." 

Smyrna,  Jan.  24th,  1844. 
*'  My  own  precious  Mother.  Your  welcome  letter  of 
Nov.  30th,  came  yesterday.  As  I  was  passing  the  glass 
door,  which  opens  on  the  terrace,  I  caught  a  glimpse  of  the 
French  steamer  off  at  some  distance,  and  I  hoped  some 
news  would  reach  us  from  you.  We  have  a  fine  view  of 
every  vessel  that  comes  along  the  Gulf,  and  my  heart  pal- 
pitates between  hope  and  fear,  every  time  I  see  the  thin 
cloud  of  smoke   rising  over  a  dark  hulled  boat.     O,  my 


250  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

dearest  mother,  my  thoughts  of  you  turn  into  prayers  con- 
tinually. Only  can  I  keep  quiet  by  prayer,  when  I  remem- 
ber the  distance  which  separates  us.  When  each  evening 
we  remember  before  our  Father's  throne,  our  dear  absent 
ones,  it  is  a  comfort  to  think  that  God  loves  you  with  an 
everlasting  love,  and  can  do  for  you  far  more  than  our  most 
ardent  wishes  could  desire.  Dear  mother,  God  is  our  best 
friend.  He  knows  just  what  we  need.  Oj  how  sweet  to 
trust  him,  and  to  trust  each  other  with  him,  during  our 
separation. 

I  have  always  so  much  to  say,  that  now  I  have  begun  to 
limit  myself  to  so  much  time  a  day  for  writing,  I  do  not 
love  to  know  any  thing  which  you  do  not  know;  But  I 
think  there  i&  conrlirlga  time,  when  in  peace  and  at  rest,  we 
can  talk  over  all  the  way  our  God  has  led  us.  Oh,  my 
dear  mother,  for  that  blessed  hour  I  do  try  to  prepare,  and 
my  thoughts  look  forward  tnore  and  more  to  that  world, 
where  we  can  all  be  together  with  our  Father,  and  where 
there  is  no  more  sin.  Pray  for  me,  that  my  heart  may  be 
kept.  I  am  in  danger  continuallyi  I  deeply  feel,  of  grow- 
ing neglectful  of  the  only  important  things — and  yet,  the 
danger  is  more  from  my  own  evil  heart,  than  from  outside 
circutnstances.  You  know  my  not  being  well,  or  able  to 
mix  in  general  society,  has  permitted  me  to  have  much 
time  for  quiet  reflection ;  and  I  do  thank  God  for  it.  It  is 
just  vvhat  I  have  needed,  and  I  have  had  some  heart- 
searching  times,  when  I  have  felt  that  none  but  my  Saviour 
could  help  me.  It  is  a  comfort  to  talk  with  H.,  for  he  has 
gone  down  very  deep  into  the  heart,  and  he  understands 
the  manner  of  spirit  which  we  ought  to  cherish  ;  and  when 
we  have  our  quiet  talks  about  Christ  and  heaven,  my  own 
soul  feels  encouraged  and  refreshed.  The  missionary  work 
grows  in  importance  too,  and  I  long  to  be  doing  something 
that  will  lead  these  dark  minds  to  the  light  of  the  gospel. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  251 

lam  keeping  a  journal  in  which  I  write  every  few  days. 
I  have  already  sent  you  one  from  this  place,  and  I  want  it 
should  go  home  very  fast,  for  1  am  anxious  you  should 
know  all  about  our  life — all  that  interests  us.  I  think  that 
I  do  not  feel  very  far  separated  from  you.  I  look  off'  on 
the  blue  waters,  which  shine  beneath  the  bold  cape  Kara- 
borna,  which  bear  on  their  bosom  the  good  ships,  by  means 
of  which  we  can  talk  together,  though  separated,  and  it  does 
not  seem  a  very  immense  way  to  America.  And  then,  I 
know  that  we  continually  meet  in  prayer  at  our  Father's 
throne,  and  that  he  looks  upon  us  and  watches  us,  as  if  we 
were  still  together,  and  if  daily  conmiunion  can  ever  bring 
friends  near,  then  we  are  very  near.  Only  when  I  know 
that  you  have  been  sick,  I  feel  troubled  that  I  was  not  by 
to  lighten  a  little  your  daily  cares.  I  picture  you  moving 
^boutin  the  rooms  at  home,  and  each  parlor  with  its  open 
doors,  and  the  table  in  the  centre,  and  your  rocking  chair, 
and  the  stools^  and  the  thermometer,  and  all  the  various 
articles  come  up  with  a  distinctness  which  makes  me  for- 
get I  am  five  thousand  miles  from  you.  Oh,  mamma,  it 
would  be  very  hard,  if  it  were  not  for  the  hopes  of  heaven. 
But  are  not  those  sweet  and  ver}''  glorious  hopes  ?  And 
cannot  we  bear  the  separation,  dearest  mother,  when  we 
think  too  that  every  step  was  ordered  by  God  ;  and  that  H. 
and  I  are  in  the  midst  of  a  dark  land,  striving,  though  with 
feeble  means,  to  give  to  those  around  us  the  light  which 
we  enjoy  ?  Oh,  yes,  I  am  sure  you  would  not  call  us 
home. 

Mamma  leans  on  H.,  and  I  fear  it  will  be  a  sad  trial 
should  we  go  away.  She  is  so  kind  to  us,  and  watchful 
for  our  comfort,  that  it  will  be  to  me  like  leaving  home  a 
second  time,  should  we  go.  Yet  H.  longs  to  have  a  larger 
field  of  usefulness,  and  though  it  is  a  great  trial  to  think  of 
leaving  this  circle  whom  we  are  longing  to  win  to  Christy, 


252  ^'^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

yet  I  hope  we  are  willing  to  go.  I  do  not  know  what  the 
younger  members  of  the  family  would  say,  if  they  thought 
there  was  a  possibility  of  our  going  away.  We  have  sweet 
talks  together,  while  I  love  to  watch  their  opening  minds, 
and  the  unfolding  of  their  Christian  character.  All  four 
are  here  at  our  Bible  Class  on  Sunday  evenings,  and  they 
stay  afterwards  and  read  D'Aubigne  in  French.  Mr. 
Adger  is  translating  it  into  Armenian.  How  interesting  it 
will  be  to  that  people,  for  their  circumstances  are  similar 
to  Luther's  times. 

29th.  Yesterday  I  attended  church  for  the  first  time 
since  that  rainy  Sabbath  in  October,  when  we  rode  to 
Park-street  church  together.  The  chapel  is  in  the  court 
of  the  Dutch  Consul,  and  much  more  like  a  church  than  I 
expected.  It  is  very  small,  but  has  an  aisle  and  slips  and 
pulpit,  besides  a  kind  of  pulpit  in  which  the  Consul  sits. 
It  is  the  custom  to  pray  silently,  leaning  forward,  on  first 
going  into  church  ;  and  the  gentlemen  in  the  French  ser- 
vice, stand  when  they  first  enter  the  slip,  with  the  hat  be- 
fore the  face,  and  pray  for  a  blessing  silently.  It  is  an 
appropriate  custom,  if  their  hearts  are  in  it. 

Dear  mother,  I  thought  a  great  deal  about  you  on  thanks- 
giving. I  lived  over  and  over  again  the  pleasant  thanks- 
giving days  we  have  passed  at  home,  and  I  hoped  you 
"would  not  feel  very  lonely  now  we  were  away." 

Journal. 

"  Jan.  \ltli.  Went  this  afternoon  with  mamma,  to  call 
on  Mrs.  Adger.  In  our  walk  we  stopped  at  the  Dutch 
Hospital,  and  passed  into  the  grave  yard.  I  stood  by  E.'s 
grave.  It  is  a  sweet,  quiet  place,  beneath  the  trees.  It 
will  be  pleasant  resting  there  when  our  work  is  over,  till 
the  resurrection  morn." 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  253 

"  21th.  Dear  mamma,  I  have  been  thinking  for  the  past 
few  days,  what  would  be  the  use  of  attending  to  these 
various  duties,*  if  it  were  not  for  the  discipline  they  are  to 
us,  and  for  their  effect  on  the  character ;  and  how  tired 
those  must  be  of  a  daily  routine,  who  look  only  at  this 
world.  But  things  are  so  pleasant  and  so  important, 
viewed  in  relation  to  a  future  state.'* 

'*  29^A.  On  Saturday  evening,  we  had  a  pleasant  re- 
hearsal, and  practiced  '  Let  us  with  a  joyful  mind,'  to  sing 
in  church.  We  took  only  the  air,  and  not  the  whole  anthem, 
and  found  the  other  verses  belonging  to  the  Psalm,  and 
yesterday  afternoon  it  was  sung.  The  boys  love  to  prac- 
tice with  us  the  Anthems  and  Choruses  of  the  Boston 
Academy  Collection,  and  'Night  shades  no  longer,'  '  Now 
elevate  the  sign  of  Judah,'  and  '  Glory  be  to  God,'  carry 
me  back  to  our  old  organ,  and  I  think  I  am  home  again." 

3\st.  I  have  begun  Greek  in  earnest,  and  say  a  lesson 
every  day  to  H.  and  write  a  French  conversation  also. 
The  Hodja|  tells  me  a  Turkish  word,  and  Demetro  a 
Greek  one,  for  both  seem  inclined  to  have  me  speak  some- 
thing besides  English.  I  shall  learn  by  little  and  little,  yet 
very  slowly.  When  ill  at  mamma's,  Crusula,  who  only 
spoke  Greek,  tried  to  teach  me  simple  words,  such  as 
bread,  water,  salt,  &c.  and  I  was  forced  to  learn,  so  as  to 
make  her  understand  what  1  wanted.  She  was  determin- 
ed to  teach  me,  and  persevered  in  making  me  pronounce 
after  her  as  she  stood  before  me  with  my  dish  of  food. 

Demetro  took  dinner  here  to-day.  When  he  came  in  he 
surprised'me  with  "good  morning,"  in  evident  satisfaction 

*  Some  rather  monotonous  household  duties,  to  which  she  was  in 
the  hubit  of  attending,  and  of  which  she  had  just  been  speaking. 
t  Turkish  Teacher. 
22 


254  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

at  being  able  to  say  a  word  to  me  in  English.  He  and  the 
Hodjah  both  have  learned  good  nnorning,  and  I  make  out  by- 
much  thought  to  say  their  Turkish  and  Greek  salutations. 
The  Hodjah  quite  laughed  yesterday  at  my  thinking  coun- 
tenance, just  before  he  left,  as  if  1  were  conning  over  my 
lesson. 

The  Turks  have  far  less  of  scorn  for  foreigners  than  they 
formerly  had.  The  Protestants  they  particularly  like,  and 
call  them  Free  masons,  but  the  Catholics  they  detest 
for  their  image  worship.  While  1  am  disgusted  with  the 
absurdities  of  their  faith,  and  with  the  ways  they  devise  to 
keep  each  others  courage  up,  and  also  to  keep  away  the 
truth  which  is  shining  more  and  more  as  they  have  inter- 
course with  other  nations,  still  I  am  very  much  interested 
in  them  as  men.  If  we  look  upon  them  as  having  feelings 
and  sympathies  in  common  with  us,  we  shall  be  the  more 
interested  in  their  eternal  welfare.  We  shall  long  to  see 
them  brought  to  the  knowledge  of  the  only  true  religion. 

We  have  received  letters  which  tell  us  we  are  candid- 
ates for  Trebizond.  You  know  that  is  an  increasingly  in- 
teresting field,  but  there  are  weighty  reasons  why  it  is  best 
we  should  not  go  there. 

While  we  were  writing  dear  father  on  the  subject.  Dr. 
Smith,  bound  for  Mosul,  came  in.  He  gave  us  s\.  very  inr 
teresting  account  of  the  work  at  Trebizond,  amongst  the 
Armenians.  After  he  was  gone  I  went  to  pray  over  my 
feelings,  and  walked  a  little  on  the  terrace.  Dear  mother, 
my  earnest  desire  is  to  feel  so  deep  and  abiding  an  interest 
in  this  work,  which  we  feel  to  be  indeed  the  best,  and  the 
most  worthj'^  of  all  our  efforts,  that  no  personal  sacrifices 
shall  cool  my  ardor.  It  was  over  this  that  I  prayed  when 
I  walked  on  the  terrace. 

H.  is  writing  a  sermon  on  a  very  interesting  topic,  ^'  Our 
life,  so  little  in  itself,  so  important  in  its  consequences,"  and 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  255 

I  am  deeply  interested  in  the  thoughts  it  brings.  How  im- 
portant all  things  become  viewed  in  the  light  of  eternity, 
and  the  missionary  work  especially  increases  in  interest, 
when  thus  viewed.  Dear  mother,  we  do  not  know  what 
the  gospel  is  doing  for  us,  until  we  see  the  '  darkness  and 
shadow  of  death'  which  exists  without  its  blessed  light. 
The  more  I  become  acquainted  with  the  East,  the  more 
precious  does  the  love  of  God  and  His  service  appear." 

''  February  1 3'7i.  Last  Friday  was  a  warm  sunshiny  day, 
so  after  doing  various  little  things  in  the  morning,  and  wri- 
ting to  dear  father  at  Constantinople,  we  took  our  dinner 
and  sallied  forth  for  a  walk  to  Caravan  bridge,  that  famous 
bridge  over  the  Meles,  with  the  tall,  dark  cypresses  on 
either  side,  beneath  which  the  Turkish  tomb-stones  rise, 
and  with  its  innumerable  strings  of  camels  and  donkeys, 
and  men  of  all  conditions  and  all  appearances, — that  bridge 
I  have  seen  at  last.  We  went  through  one  narrow,  dark 
street  after  another,  for  a  long  time,  where  every  thing  is 
so  foreign  that  the  very  idea  of  a  street  like  home  seems 
strange.  I  sigh  for  a  clean,  open,  bright  American  street. 
When  we  passed  through  the  Armenian  quarter^  we  looked 
in  at  the  courts  and  saw  pleasant  fountains  and  green 
leaves ;  and  the  bright  aspect  within,  was  a  strange  con- 
trast to  the  buildings  without.  That  quarter  seemed 
brighter  throughout  than  the  Greek  quarter,  and  one  street 
in  particular  was  broad  and  comfortable,  but  in  general  the 
broken  paving  stones  hurt  the  feet  badly.  The  bridge  is 
a  little  out  of  the  city,  and  before  we  reached  it,  we  passed 
some  of  the  gardens  and  the  aspect  was  a  little  country 
like.  I  had  seen  nothing  so  much  like  the  country  since  I 
left  home,  arid  it  reminded  me  somewhat  of  large  farm  gar- 
dens '  like,''  hut  oh,  how  different.  There  was  green  grass 
growing  beneath  trees   loaded  with  fruit.     Orange  trees 


256  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

they  were.  The  tall,  towering  Castle  hill  rose  on  one  side 
of  us,  with  the  old  frowning  ruins  which  seemed  almost  to 
touch  the  clouds,  and  the  gardens  were  on  the  other  side. 
We  should  call  that  Castle  hill  a  real  high  mountain. 
Then  we  came  to  the  cypress  trees,  the  old  solemn  trees, 
growing  so  thick  and  dark  I  almost  held  my  breath  with 
awe.  There  lay  thousands  who  lived  and  died  followers 
of  the  false  prophet.  Among  all  those  white  stones,  sur- 
mounted with  their  turbans,  there  is  not  one  which  marks 
a  Christian's  grave.  There  sleep  those  whom  the  plague 
has  mown  down.  It  is  a  crowded  city,  so  full  I  should 
think  there  was  no  room  for  another  to  rest.  We  sat  to  rest 
on  some  seats,  just  below  the  bridge  one  side,  and  watched 
the  throng  of  passers.  Many  people  walk  there,  to  see 
and  to  be  seen. 

15th.  My  dear  mother,  you  speak  in  your  last  concerning 
my  being  injured  by  the  worldly-mindedness  around  me. 
I  try  to  be  careful.  If  constant  prayer  and  many  fears  will 
keep  my  heart  from  being  drawn  from  my  work,  then  dear 
mother,  you  may  hope  I  shall  not  forget  the  object  for 
which  I  came  to  these  lands.  O,  for  your  sake,  for  the 
sake  of  all  who  love  and  pray  for  us,  we  long  to  approve 
ourselves  as  true,  self-denying  missionaries.  I  can  not 
trust  in  myself,  my  only  hope  is  in  Jesus.  My  tempta- 
tions are  somewhat  different  here,  but  they  are  not  much 
increased.  Indeed  if  you  knew  the  quiet  life  I  lead,  you 
would  rejoice.  It  is  sweet  to  watch  the  ripening  piety  of 
some  of  the  younger  members  of  the  family  ;  and  then  our 
Bible  class  warms  my  heart.  And  when  I  am  in  our 
church,  our  quiet  little  chapel,  listening  to  the  prayers  and 
sermons  and  joining  in  the  sacred  songs,  my  heart  feels 
happy  that  I  am  not  quite  debarred  from  gospel  privileges. 
I  hope  we  shall  have  a  female  prayer-meeting ;  this  will  be 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  257 

another  help.  But  I  long  to  engage  in  something  more 
active^  when  so  many  are  around  me  in  such  sad  errors. 
It  does  increase  a  missionary  spirit  to  see  the  state  of  things 
here,  and  I  hope  by  God's  grace  1  shall  be  able  to  deny  my- 
self for  their  good.  There  are  some  dear  ones  here,  with 
whom  1  can  as  yet  say  very  little.  I  long  to  draw  them 
to  me  and  to  whisper  about  better  things.  Sometimes  I 
try  a  little,  and  I  pray  for  them. 

I  can  not  live  without  much  time  spent  in  the  quiet  study 
of  my  Bible,  and  in  serious  thought,  but  I  do  not  as  I  once 
did,  nearly  wear  myself  out  in  feeling,  though  sometimes 
the  old  spirit  creeps  over  me.  And  though  I  feel  more 
deeply  than  ever  my  sins,  and  have  earnest  longings  to  be 
free  from  every  hindrance  to  a  holy  life,  yet  I  find  the  way 
to  grow  better  is  to  look  to  God  in  humble,  fervent  prayer, 
and  not  to  sit  brooding  over  my  short  comings. 

The  trials  of  this  winter  have  called  many  feelings  into 
exercise,  and  have  been  a  nciv,  but  needed  discipline,  par- 
ticularly the  trials  connected  with  our  leaving  Smyrna.  I 
have  shrunk  from  going  away  because  I  dreaded  the  trials. 
This  has  humbled  me,  and  has  led  me  to  look  at  the  mis- 
sionary work,  and  to  daily  ardent  prayer,  that  I  might 
have  a  right  spirit.  I  have  feared  to  pray  that  we  might 
stay  in  Smyrna.  I  could  not  utter  such  a  prayer  ;  but  I 
have  earnestly  sought  a  spirit  which  would  make  me  happy 
wherever  duty  called  me.  Sometimes  I  have  succeeded, 
sometimes  not,  but  I  trust  I  do  improve  in  right  feelings. 
I  say  to  myself ''  Our  Father  in  Heaven  knows  best.  We 
are  liable  to  err,  even  with  the  best  intentions  ;  we  will 
carry  our  cause  to  God,  and  ask  him  to  bless  all  these 
trials,  and  to  give  us  wisdom  for  the  future,  and  wherein 
we  have  erred,  to  pardon  us  for  Christ's  sake."  And  if  I 
can  cherish  this  spirit,  dear  mother,  do  not  you  think  our 
trials  will  be  blest  to  us  } 
22* 


258  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

19th.  Early  on  Sabbath  morning.  Nicoli  came  to  tell  us 
the  steamer  was  coming  ;  so  H.  dressed  and  went  in  a  boat, 
while  1  staid  on  the  terrace  till  I  spied  them  returning. 
There  was  my  dear,  precious  father.  He  has  had  a  pleas- 
ant time,  but  it  is  good  to  have  him  with  us  again  ;  his  in- 
fluence is  so  sweet,  and  his  sound,  candid  advice  is  worth 
so  much  to  us.  In  the  afternoon  dear  father  preached  a 
sermon  which  refreshed  us  very  much.  '♦  The  Gospel, 
the  power  of  God  to  salvation."  The  streets  were  crowd- 
ed, markets  every  where,  for  'tis  carnival  now,  and  the 
sweet  atmosphere  of  our  little  chapel  was  in  striking  con- 
trast with  the  streets,  v/here  were  crowdsof  gay,  degraded 
beings. 

In  the  evening  we  had  our  Bible  class,  and  father  told 
me  the  plan  was  proposed  of  our  going  to  Constantinople, 
H.  to  be  engaged  with  the  Armenians,  but  chiefly  for  the 
reason  of  establishing  a  female  school.  I  started  at  the 
idea,  but  father  explained  to  me  that  the  responsibility 
would  not  be  so  great  as  I  feared ;  for  they  would  have 
only  a  few  in  the  commencement,  and  I  should  acquire 
experience  as  I  went  along.  What  they  want  is  the  influ- 
ence of  a  Christian  family  to  be  exerted  over  those  who 
are  to  become  the  wives  and  mothers  of  the  Armenian  na- 
tion. What  a  field  !  How  interesting  !  How  responsi- 
ble !  But  am  I  adequate  to  the  undertaking  ?  I  fear  the 
sacrifices  I  am  called  to  make  will  influence  my  judgment, 
and  damp  my  desire  to  train  those  young  girls  for  useful- 
ness. I  do  not  like  the  idea  of  becoming  the  head  of  a 
boarding  school,  and  superintending  all  its  concerns.  I 
love  a  quiet  way  of  living  too  well  to  make  the  idea  of  be- 
coming a  matron  very  pleasant.  This  causes  me,  I  fear, 
to  magnify  the  difficulties  ;  and  then,  mi/  heart  clings  to 
Smyrna.  The  matter  is  all  to  be  talked  over — to  be  con- 
sidered in  all  its  lights,  and  may  God  direct. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  259 

*^  2lst.  Again  I  am  alone,  dear  mother,  and  I  come  to 
talk  with  you.  I  feel  the  need  of  prayer  more  than  ever 
before.  I  find  that  when  1  am  so  engaged,  my  feelings 
become  nearer  rioht  than  at  other  times.  How  I  Ions:  to 
lay  aside  the  evil  of  my  heart,  and  the  prejudices  I  have. 
You  know  1  have  always  disliked  a  school,  and  a  boarding 
school  particularly,  and  I  am  distressed  that  I  should  feel 
this  still.  I  mean  to  put  it  all  down,  for  I  am  convinced 
it  is  foolish  as  well  as  sinful.  Besides,  it  is  to  be  a  family, 
and  not  an  ordinary  boarding  school.  Then  it  will  be  the 
way  to  become  acquainted  with  Armenian  females  gener- 
ally, and  thus  to  preach  to  them  the  gospel.  The  Arme- 
nians desire  it  very  much.  Their  females  must  be  raised. 
We  shall  wait  the  leadings  of  Providence,  and  we  pray 
that  God  will  do,  not  what  would  spare  us  sacrifices,  but 
what  will  be  best  for  this  people. 

I  am  full  of  sorrow  that  this  pleasant  circle  must  be  bro- 
ken lip.  This  is  the  last  week  we  can  all  be  together.  I 
pity  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Temple.  Their  hearts  bleed  to  give  up 
the  object  for  which  they  have  so  long  labored — the  poor 
Greeks.  How  I  wish  Mrs.  Temple's  mantle  of  devoted- 
ness  might  fall  on  me." 

**  27th.  Dear  mother,  1  have  much  to  say.  When  H, 
returned  from  the  meeting  on  Wednesday,  he  said  that 
every  thing  favored  our  going  to  Constantinople,  and  so  we 
thought  that  God's  hand  was  in  it.  After  dinner,  Dr.  A. 
came  over  to  talk  with  us,  and  the  matter  was  decided. 
Sometimes  my  heart  died  within  me — to  be  at  the  head  of 
a  seminary,  and  to  have  no  home  but  in  a  boarding  school. 
But  I  walked  in  the  garden,  and  prayed  and  thought  of  all 
sides  in  the  question.  True,  it  would  be  connected  with 
some  disadvantages — but  what  station  of  usefulness  is 
without  its  trials.     True,  our  own  home  might  lose  some 


260  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEf. 


of  its  quiet,  but  then  we  should  be  helping  to  nnake  happy 
homes  for  many  others.  True,  I  disliked  a  boarding  school, 
and  had  some  prejudices  hard  to  be  overcome — but  the 
idea  of  a  thing  being  unpleasant,  is  a  very  foolish  reason 
for  giving  up  a  good  work.  And  then  it  will  never  be  an 
American  boarding  school.  What  is  most  needed  is,  to 
have  a  sweet  Christian  family  influence  over  the  training 
minds  of  the  young  females.  The  number  must  be  small, 
and  the  charge,  in  a  merely  worldly  point  of  view,  will  not 
be  great.  We  have  looked  very  closely  at  that  part,  for 
neither  H.  nor  father  vt'ould  consent  to  have  me  in  a  situa* 
tion  where  I  should  be  weighed  down  with  care.  And  then 
H.  will  be  in  a  much  more  useful  sphere  in  Constantinople, 
than  he  can  be  here.  He  will  have  continual  opportuni- 
ties for  religious  conversation,  not  only  with  the  pupils  and 
their  parents,  bat  with  others  who  will  be  attracted  by  the 
school.  Besides,  he  will  open  a  room  in  C.  for  religious 
conversation,  and  will  commence  preaching  as  soon  as  he 
is  master  of  the  language.  His  knowledge  of  the  Turkish 
will  enable  him,  even  now,  to  commence  his  labors.  Well, 
mamma,  this  is  the  outline  of  the  thoughts  I  have  had,  and 
I  have  had,  beside,  many  shades  of  thought  and  feeling) 
with  regard  to  all  these,  and  my  mind  is  persuaded  that  it 
is  the  work  for  us  to  do — and  I  thank  God  for  permitting 
us  to  look  forward  to  such  a  work,  and  I  pray  that  he  will 
give  us  strength  and  right  feelings. 

I  have  looked  at  all  the  sacrifices.  I  shrank  from  them 
at  first,  and  then  felt  deeply  grieved  that  1  should  be  reluc- 
tant to  bear  some  burdens,  when  the  work  was  such  a  glo- 
rious one,  and  when  God  had  blessed  m6  so.  But,  my 
dear  mother,  1  have  prayed  continually  over  the  subject. 
I  am  willing  now  to  endure  trials — to  engage  in  a  work 
which  is  so  worthy  of  a  far  better  and  wiser  person  than 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  261 

I.     I  have   committed  myself  all  to  Christ,  that  he  may 
lead  me,  and  work  in  me,  and  by  me." 

To  M. 

Smyrna,  Feb.  22d,  1844. 

**  My  dear  precious  sister.  Your  letter,  so  long  and 
interesting,  has  this  evening  reached  me,  and  while  H.  and 
my  dear  father  have  gone  to  our  weekly  meeting,  I  sit 
down  to  have  a  quiet  long  talk.  I  am  ready  to  answer 
every  question  you  ask,  and  many  more  beside,  and  also 
to  tell  you  every  thing  which  can  be  comprised  in  the  short 
space  of  a  letter.  I  think  I  know  just  what  you  would 
like  to  learn.  From  books  only  a  general  idea  of  these 
countries  can  be  obtained  ;  but  I  had  become,  through  H., 
so  well  acquainted  with  Asia  Minor,  that  when  I  sailed 
down  the  Gulf  of  Smyrna,  on  the  morning  of  the  24th  of 
November,  the  mountains,  the  old  sea  castle,  the  red  roofed 
city,  the  cypress  trees  rising  solemnly  toward  the  skj^,  all 
seemed  familiar  things,  and  I  greeted  them  as  if  they  were 
not  strangers. 

On  landing,  we  went  to  Mrs.  V.  L.'s,  the  motherof  H., 
where  we  remained  a  month  in  the  midst  of  a  most  lovely 
circle  of  friends.  As  I  was  quite  an  invalid,  I  was  contined 
to  the  sofa  and  bed  nearly  all  the  time,  but  I  had  every 
attention  and  every  comfort.  Things  here,  are  not  essen- 
tially different  from  American  ways  of  living;  our  houses 
are  very  pleasant,  and  the  cooking  very  nice  ;  and  one  can 
live  here  very  well  so  far  as  this  world  goes.  The  streets 
to  be  sure  are  gloomy,  dirty  and  narrow,  but  you  have  only 
to  knock  at  the  heavy  barn  like  looking  doors,  and  you  are 
at  once  ushered  into  courts,  often  beautifully  paved,  and 
pass  up  into  apartments  which  look  as  romantic  as  if  they 
were  made  for  story  books.     There  are  many  Europeans 


262  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

here,  Franks  as  they  are  called,  and  they  are  mostly  Cath- 
olics. Indeed,  we  Protestants  are  a  feeble  band,  in  the 
midst  of  Greeks,  Catholics,  Jews,  Turks,  Armenians  and 
people  from  every  part  of  the  earth.  Tiirbaned  heads 
look  quite  familiar.  I  have  ceased  to  wonder  at  atiy  thing, 
excepting  the  other  day  when  a  carriage  passed,  I  did 
wonder.  It  was  a  great  sight.  I  should  love  to  describe 
minutely  every  thing,  but  that  would  be  impossible. 

The  latter  part  of  December,  we  came  to  our  house, 
situated  finely  on  tbe  sea  side,  with  a  garden  and  place  for 
bathing,  and  our  winter  has  passed  delightfully.  Still  we 
have  felt  quite  unsettled,  for  it  has  been  decided  that  Smyrna 
is  not  to  be  our  home,  but  that  we  are  to  remove  to  Con- 
stantinople. It  is  a  trial  to  leave  this  dear  place,  which 
seems  indeed  like  home  to  me,  and  which  is  full  of  so  many 
delightful  associations  as  the  home  of  my  dear  H.;  and  it  is 
a  great  trial  also  to  leave  these  precious  friends.  But  the 
station  we  are  called  to  fill  at  C.,  is  a  most  interesting  and 
important  one,  and  we  go  cheerfully,  trusting  that  God  will 
prosper  us,  and  give  us  strength  to  do  much  for  him. 

The  steamers  bring  every  place  very  near,  and  we  have 
constant  communication  with  Marseilles,  Trieste,  Greece, 
Constantinoplcj  and  in  fact  every  place  around.  We  are 
in  the  midst  of  the  busy  world,  in  the  central  point  be- 
tween Europe  and  Asia,  so  that  our  minds  are  kept  wide 
awake.  I  have  so  many  things  to  say  concerning  all  sub- 
jects, dear  M  ,  that  I  scarcely  know  how  to  give  you  a  cor- 
rect idea  of  any  thing.  I  believe  it  is  a  general  fact,  that 
the  Orientals  are  regarded  by  us  Americans  as  semi-barba- 
rians, or  at  best  as  grown-up  children.  Nothing  is  more 
erroneous.  The  more  we  associate  with  them,  the  more 
we  feel  that  they  are  entitled  to  respect  and  friendship,  as 
much  so  as  any  polite^  agreeable  people  in  our  own  land, 
who  are  without  true  religion.     With  them  we  must  ob- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  263 

serve  the  same  strict  rules  of  propriety,  the  same  careful 
attention  to  win  them  to  the  truth  without  disgusting  them. 
They  have  the  same  hopes,  fears,  affections  that  we  have, 
but  their  views  of  religious  truth  are  dark  and  cheerless. 
To  pray  long  prayers,  and  to  observe  strictly  the  fasts,  are 
the  great  things  with  them.  They  know  no  higher  motive 
from  w^hich  to  act,  than  self  interest,  and  consequently  are 
not  guided  by  principle. 

What  the  missionary  has  to  do  on  first  coming  out,  is  to 
hire  a  house,  engage  a  teacher  of  the  language  he  wishes 
to  learn,  and  strive  as  fast  as  possible  to  become  acquainted 
with  Oriental  habits  and  modes  of  thinking.  By  degrees 
he  gets  introduced  to  one  and  another,  as  any  person  in 
coming  into  a  new  place  does.  He  interests  those  whom 
he  designs  to  benefit,  in  various  wa3^s,  and  gradually  leads 
them  to  converse  upon  serious  subjects.  It  has  been  found 
productive  of  much  evil  to  attack  their  religions  directly. 
You  must  strive  to  win  their  confidence,  and  have  familiar 
talks  upon  religious  subjects  with  them.  In  this  way  you 
can  gradually  pour  light  into  their  minds,  set  them  to 
inquiring,  and  sow  some  seeds  of  truth,  which  by  God's 
blessing  may  spring  up  and  bear  fruit.  Patience  and  per- 
severance are  exceedingly  needed  by  a  missionary.  You 
will  perhaps  be  surprised  when  I  tell  you,  that  the  great- 
est trial  of  a  missionary,  is  the  effect  upon  his  own  spirit,  of 
mingling  with  such  a  mass  of  worldliness.  Especially  is 
this  the  case  here,  where  there  are  so  many  things  to  inter- 
est, and  where  there  are  not  the  helps  to  a  Christian  course 
which  are  found  in  a  land  of  Bibles  and  Sabbaths.  Another 
great  trial  is  to  see  so  many  whose  minds  are  full  of  error, 
and  to  know  that  you  can  do  comparatively  little  to  remove 
it.  Oh,  how  often  my  heart  has  ached,  when  I  have  looked 
upon  the  crowds  that  throng  these  streets,  and  know  that 
there  is  scarce  one  among  theui  all,  who  knows  any  thing 


264  ^I^^-  *^ARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

about  true  religion.  It  is  sad  to  look  at  their  crowded 
burial  places,  beneath  the  cypress  trees,  and  think  how  dark 
their  end  has  been.  These  are  a  missionary's  trials  here  ; 
but  personal  trials  are  very  few.  Many  are  the  comforts 
and  pleasant  things  about  this  life  in  the  East.  Those  who 
come  out  here  as  strangers,  always  have  letters  to  intro- 
duce them  to  some  one,  and  in  every  place  there  is  some 
resident,  who  can  and  will  assist  those  who  come,  to  some 
extent." 

"  Feb.  2ith.  In  reading  over  the  preceding  lines,  I 
think  I  may  give  you  the  impression  that  there  are  no  trials 
here,  about  our  way  of  living.  Of  course  this  cannot  be 
said.  But  I  find  things  so  much  pleasanter  than  I  expect- 
ed, that  I  am  delighted  with  the  East.  I  came  determined 
to  be  pleased,  and  I  find  it  a  very  easy  matter. 

And  now  to  return  to  your  questions,  you  see  that  I 
have  had  m}^  mind  upon  them  in  all  that  I  have  been  say- 
ing, but  it  is  impossible  in  one  letter  to  answer  them  all 
minutely.  I  have  tried  to  tell  you  something  of  our  life 
here,  because  I  think,  in  general,  persons  in  America  look 
upon  the  East  erroneously.  There  are  many  discomforts 
in  the  interior  of  the  country,  but  in  the  Smyrna  mission, 
the  privations  are  not  worth  the  thought.  In  a  future  let- 
ter, dear  M.,  1  can  tell  you  minutely  about  the  habits  here  ; 
some  of  them  would,  I  am  sure,  please  you  very  much. 
I  feel  as  if  I  were  reading  aa  interesting  book  all  the  time. 
As  to  language,  almost  every  one  on  the  earth  is  heard  in 
our  streets.  Our  family  friends  all  speak  French  among 
themselves,  but  unfortunately  for  my  improvement  in 
French  they  nearly  all  speak  English  too.  Greek  is  the 
language  of  the  servants,  and  I  begin  to  pick  up  a  few  of 
the  common  words,  and  I  make  use  of  signs  in  a  most 
amusing  manner.     We  shall  commence  Armenian  iramc- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  265 

diately,  for  our  residence  in  C.  and  our  work  there  require 
a  knowledge  of  it. 

We  all  dress  in  the  European  style.  The  Frank  dress 
is  also  adopted  by  many  of  the  Greeks  and  Armenians. 
But  many  Frank  ladies  when  they  grow  old  put  on  the 
Greek  dress.  Mrs.  V.  L.,  my  Smyrna  mother,  dresses  in 
Greek  style. 

As  to  scenery,  I  wish  you  could  have  one  view  of  what 
I  look  upon  every  day  from  our  terrace.  The  beautiful  gulf, 
the  mountains  around  it,  so  picturesque,  and  often  bathed 
in  the  violet  light  which  is  ^he  charm  of  these  countries, 
the  curious  old  dwellings,  the  dark  cypresses,  the  Castle 
hill  rising  behind  the  city,  so  very  high  it  seems  to  reach 
the  sky,  and  the  grey  ruins  upon  its  summit,  which  have 
frowned  down  upon  the  city  ever  since  the  days  of  our 
Saviour — all  these,  and  many  m.ore  things  I  might  men- 
tion, awaken  deep  emotions  each  day  as  I  gaze  upon  them. 
Here  Polycarp  the  Martyr  died  ;  here  the  early  Christians 
lived.  It  would  have  been  sweet,  dear  M.,  to  have  spent 
our  lives  in  laboring  here,  but  it  is  thought  we  can  accom- 
plish more  good  at  Constantinople,  and  so  we  are  going. 

The  Franks  here  are  mostly  Catholics,  but  all  our  near 
relatives  are  Protestants.  At  the  Consul's  there  is  a 
chapel  fitted  up  for  the  use  of  the  Dutch  residents,  (you 
know  our  family  are  Dutch,)  and  a  service  in  French  is 
performed  there  every  Sabbath  morning.  The  church  is 
Lutheran,  something  like  the  Episcopal,  though  not  much. 
All  of  the  young  people  are  confirmed  before  entering 
society,  and  partake  of  the  sacrament.  On  Sabbath  after- 
noon there  is  an  English  service  which  the  missionaries 
attend,  and  they  officiate  in  turn.  Mamma  and  several  of 
her  family  go  also  ;  and  v/e  have  the  happiness  of  sweet 
Christian  intercourse  with  her  and  four  of  our  brothers. 
These  young  men,  now  growing  up,  will  exert  a  great  in- 
23 


266  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


fluence  here  for  the  truth.  Every  Sabbath  evening  they 
come  to  our  house,  and  with  a  young  Greek,  who  is  also 
pious,  form  a  Bible  class;-in  which  we  unite.  Our  class 
is  deeply  interesting,  and  I  wish  you  could  see  the  earnest- 
ness with  which  they  engage  in  the  study  of  truth.  They 
are  lovely  youth.*  It  is  a  great  trial  to  leave  them,  yet  it 
is  a  comfort  to  know  that  they  are  so  well  established  in 
their  Christian  principles. 

Our  mission  among  the  Armenians  increases  in  interest. 
Dr.  A.  and  father,  who  have  just  returned  from  visiting  the 
various  stations,  say  that  '  the  half  was  not  told  them.' 
God  is  doing  a  great  work  for  them.  The  whole  nation 
are  waking  up.  Many  of  their  priests  are  sincere  inqui- 
rers after  truth.  There  is  to  be  a  family  female  school  in 
Constantinople,  where  young  girls  are  to  be  trained  in  the 
paths  of  holiness  and  knowledge.  Think,  dear  M.,  what 
an  interesting  field,  to  train  the  future  wives  and  mothers 
of  the  Armenian  nation.  It  is  for  this  that  we  go  to  Con- 
stantinople. H.  will  be  engaged  in  preaching,  and  I  shall 
have  the  general  charge  of  the  housekeeping,  and  watch 
over  the  forming  character  of  the  pupils,  while  a  compe- 
tent teacher  is  to  be  obtained  to  do  the  regular  teaching. 
What  is  needed  is  to  have  the  young  girls  in  the  bosom  of 
a  Christian  family,  that  they  may  learn  how  to  make  their 
own  homes  Christian  afterwards.  Pray  for  us,  that  in  this 
deeply  interesting  work  we  may  be  faithful,  and  have 
strength  to  succeed.  We  shall  leave  here  perhaps  in  May, 
and  if  our  lives  shall  be  spared,  I  hope  1  shall  have  much 
of  interest  to  tell  you. 

I  think,  dear  M.,  I  have  in  the  main  answered  all  your 
questions.     I  could  tell  you  much  more  of  the  state  of  re- 

*  One  of  these  four  young  brothers  has  since  died  in  the  comforts 
and  hope  of  the  Christian  faith.— Sept.  17,  1845. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  267 

ligion  here,  bat  my  paper  is  fast  filling  up.  You  know 
that  the  Armenian  nation  are  rapidly  awaking  to  the 
knowledge  of  the  truth.  If  things  go  on  as  they  have  done, 
there  will  soon  be  pastors  settled  over  pure  churches 
among  them.  The  evangelical  party  is  daily  increasing  in 
numbers  and  in  strength  ;  and  there  is  every  encouragement 
to  work  among  them,  for  the  Spirit  of  God  is  in  their 
midst. 

Our  dear  father's  visit  we  do  enjoy,  but  to-morrow  our 
pilgrims  set  their  faces  towards  Jerusalem,  and  this  eve- 
ning we  are  to  have  a  farewell  meeting  at  our  house.  We 
have  had  most  delightful  little  meetings  during  the  past 
week.  Last  Sabbath  evening  we  met  and  partook  of  the 
Lord's  supper  together.  It  was  in  Mr.  Temple's  parlor, 
and  we  were  a  little  company,  but  it  was  sweet  to  think 
that  Christ  was  present  even  jtvith  a  few.  Two  Armeni- 
ans and  a  Greek  partook  of  the  communion  with  us,  also 
mamma  and  our  four  youngest  brothers,  and  several  Chris- 
tian friends.  But  that  company  will  never  all  meet  again. 
To-morrow  seven  will  start  for  Jerusalem,  and  before  they 
return  we  may  have  left  for  C,  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  T.  will 
also  have  gone.  Thus  we  form  friendships,  and  meet  in 
sweet  intercourse  for  a  season,  and  then  partings  must 
come,  and  new  scenes  open  to  us.  But  it  is  pleasant  to 
think  that  we  are  all  engaged  in  the  same  work,  all  going 
to  the  same  home.  May  we  all  meet  in  that  blessed  home 
at  last.  Pray  for  me,  my  dear  M.,  that  I  may  shrink  from 
no  trials  in  this  good  cause,  and  that  I  may  not  fail  of  the 
heavenly  rest." 

Journal. 

"  March  2cL  It  has  been  very  pleasant  to  have  dear 
father  with  us  two  Sabbaths.  He  has  been  not  only  a 
comfort  in  warming  and  encouraging  our  heatts  in  good 


268  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

things,  but  his  advice  has  been  of  great  use  in  regard  to 
our  removal.  Our  last  Sabbath  was  very  refreshing.  It 
was  our  communion,  and  H.  and  I  hoped  we  might  be  so 
much  strengthened  by  it,  as  to  enter  upon  our  new  duties 
with  increasing  ardor. 

On  Tuesday  evening  there  was  a  farewell  meeting  of  the 
missionaries  at  our  house.  N.  enlarged  and  arranged  our 
dining  room  table,  and  set  dates,  oranges,  cakes,  &c.,  with 
tea  and  coffee  for  a  collation  afterwards.  Our  meeting  was 
most  sweet  and  soothing.  I  felt  then  what  an  honor  and 
a  blessing  to  be  a  missionary.  Dr.  A.  made  his  farewell 
remarks,  and  dear  father  made  his,  and  we  sang,  and  wept, 
and  prayed  together,  and  rejoiced  too,  that  though  we 
were  to  be  separated  in  body,  yet  we  were  all  united  in 
spirit,  and  were  engaged  in  the  same  cause.  Dear  father 
felt  so  much  at  home,  that  he  said  laughingly  that  he  took 
his  seat  at  our  table  as  if  he  were  in  his  own  house.  And 
indeed  he  was  at  home,  for  he  was  in  our  house,  and  we 
are  his  children.  I  was  beginning  to  feel  very  sad  about 
father's  leaving,  for  the  party  were  soon  to  go  to  Jeru- 
salem. 

Thursday  was  a  beautiful  day.  The  company  of  trav- 
elers were  to  be  on  board  the  boat  by  three  o'clock.  After 
dinner  we  stood  talking  on  the  terrace  some  time,  saying 
last  words.  Then  the  boat  came  and  took  us  to  the 
steamer,  and  dear  father  was  off  at  four.  He  will  proba- 
bly come  back  and  pass  quarantine  here." 

*'  Sedecuiy  Monday  ajternoon,  March  ^th.  Yes,  dear 
mamma,  I  have  come  to  this  charming  place,  at  last,  to 
spend  the  week.  This  morning  Me  rose  early  and  went 
in  a  boat  to  the  opposite  side  of  the  city,  beyond  the  bar- 
racks ;  where  we  found  the  horses  and  donkeys  waiting 
for  us.     The  donkey  driver,  Y.  said  he  meant  to  make  a 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  269 


good  rider  of  me,  but  I  confess  I  had  some  fear  of  mount- 
ing even  the  meek  little  fellow,  sure  footed  and  good,  which 
was  allotted  me.  Y.  walked  by  my  side,  and  I  gathered 
courage  as  I  went.  The  country  is  beautiful,  so  wild 
are  the  mountains,  so  lovely  are  the  plains.  There  is  a  pic- 
turesque air  over  every  thing.  We  passed  many  loaded 
camels.  Sometimes  we  were  riding  along  green  hedges, 
sometimes  on  the  edge  of  high  hills  and  looking  off  on 
plains,  over  which  olives  and  C3'presses  and  vineyards 
are  scattered.  The  grass  is  as  green,  and  the  flow- 
ers as  blooming  and  fresh,  and  the  sun  as  warm,  as  in 
New  England  in  the  month  of  May.  The  people  are 
plowing  and  planting  and  arranging  the  vineyards.  We 
reached  Sedecui  about  twelve  o'clock. 

We  rested  and  then  went  at  two  o'clock  to  walk  among 
the  mountains.  I  wish  you  could  have  seen  our  brothers. 
I  laughed  till  I  was  tired  at  their  curious  hunting  gear. 
The  very  gipseys  themselves  could  not  have  looked  more 
romantic,  and  then  their  hands  and  faces  quite  belied  the 
rest  of  their  appearance.  I  cannot  tell  you  as  fully  about 
Sedecui  as  I  wish,  but  it  is  very  beautiful.  The  houses 
are  all  near  each  other  with  very  pleasant  large  gardens 
all  around."" 

**  March  6th.  This  mornino;  H.  took  me  into  the  larse 
old  house  and  garden  where  he  and  his  brothers  played 
when  they  were  children.  O,  mamma,  it  is  a  place  to  dream 
of  the  past  in.  The  old  trees,  now  covered  with  ivy, 
could  tell  many  a  tale  of  those  who  have  played  beneath 
their  shade,  and  grown  old  and  passed  away.  We  passed 
along  the  walks  and  talked  of  other  days,  and  thought  of 
the  generations  who  have  lived  in  these  spots.  Every 
thing  was  moss  grown  and  ivy  covered. 
23* 


270  ^^S-  MAHY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Thursday.  This  afternoon  we  all  started  for  the  same 
little  valley  where  we  had  been  on  Monday,  and  leaving 
most  of  our  party  there,  E.,  D.  and  myself  went  higher  up 
among  the  mountains  to  see  the  cascade.  A  little,  stony, 
mountain  path,  wound  along  the  steep  sides,  so  narrow 
that  only  one  could  pass  at  a  time.  The  view  was  most 
glorious.  As  we  proceeded  we  became  encircled  by  the 
rising  peaks.  A  deep  valley  through  which  gurgled  a 
stream,  separated  us  from  the  lofty  ridge  which  rose  oppo- 
site to  the  one  on  which  we  were  passing,  and  there  all 
alone,  we  woke  the  mountain  echoes,  and  heard  our  voices 
dying  away  among  those  otherwise  silent  wilds.  I  thought 
of  the  lines, 

"  Faint  as  the  echoes  of  far  delight, 
And  lovely  and  sad  as  the  sighing  flight 
Of  distant  waterfalls." 

lUA.  We  made  a  long  string  of  horses  and  donkeys  on 
our  return  to  the  city,  being  nine  in  number.  We  took  a 
boat  waiting  for  us  beyond  the  barracks,  and  reached  home 
by  dinner  time  on  Saturday  the  9th. 

22d.  A  few  days  since  we  visited  Mrs.  Temple's  school. 
I  was  much  interested.  She  feels  very  sadly  about  giving 
it  up.  Poor  children  !  They  will  now  be  left  without 
any  guide;  but  the  seed  will  not  be  lost.  Yesterday  after- 
noon visited  Mrs.  T.  in  their  own  house.  She  had  given 
up  her  school  on  Monday,  and  her  heart  is  almost  broken. 
The  pupils  all  wept  much.  May  God  keep  them.  I  spent 
the  morning  of  yesterday  in  thought  about  my  missionary 
work  ;  read  Eli  Smith's  "  Trials  of  Missionaries,"  and 
think  it  very  correct.  Dear  mother,  I  could  not  be  any 
thing  else  but  a  missionary.  I  do  feel  it  to  be  a  privilege 
to  cast  in  my  mite  of  influence  in  evangelizing  Turkey. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  271 


To  J.  P.  Brace,  Esq.,  for  many  years  the  beloved  and  respected 
teacher  of  Mary. 

Smyrna,  March  22d,  1844. 

My  dear  Mr.  Brace, — I  was  exceedingly  pained  upon 
arriving  in  Boston  previous  to  our  sailing,  to  learn  from 
M.  that  you  had  never  received  the  note  I  had  sent  you 
on  the  day  of  our  marriage.  You  were  saved  the  trouble 
of  reading  it,  but  I  should  have  been  willing  to  have  intru- 
ded it  upon  you,  for  it  would  have  told  you  that  I  had  not 
been  unmindful  of  the  interest  you  had  shown  in  my  wel- 
fare, and  that  I  cherished  for  my  former  teacher  sentiments 
of  love  and  gratitude  which  no  time  nor  distance  could 
efface.     I  am  very  sorry  it  was  never  delivered  to  you. 

The  morning  I  wrote  to  you,  my  thoughts  were  back  in 
the  past,  as  indeed  it  was  very  natural  they  should  be.  I 
recollected  all  my  school  days,  and  especially  remembered 
how  you,  my  dear  teacher,  had  borne  with  me  during  all 
the  years  when  it  was  my  privilege  to  be  under  your  in- 
struction. I  had  long  wished  for  an  opportunity  to  tell 
you  how  much  J  thanked  you  for  the  interest  you  showed 
in  checking  the  ambition  of  my  character.  You  called  it 
by  too  soft  a  name  when  you  said  it  was  amhition.  I  have 
since  found  it  was  vanity,  and  if  I  have  succeeded  at  all  in 
overcoming  it,  it  is  to  you  I  turn  as  the  friend  who  first 
opened  my  eyes  to  this  defect.  How  often  in  my  heart  I 
have  thanked  you  !  And  not  only  for  this,  but  for  all  the 
lessons  of  wisdom  which  I  have  treasured  in  my  mind,  and 
for  which  I  find  daily  use.  Those  pleasant  hours  in  the 
composition  class,  I  love  to  remember.  I  have  them  as 
vividly  before  me,  as  if  it  were  only  yesterday  that  I  saw 
you  seated  by  the  side  of  that  crazy  old  table,  with  the 
results  of  our  school  girl  brains  upon  it,  and  H.,  M.,  M. 
and  S.  sitting  with  me  in  our  accustomed  corner.  Though 
1  can  recall  them  with  a  vividness  almost  startling,  yet 


272  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

they  seem  far,  very  far  in  the  past,  and  1  am  obliged  to 
think  over  all  that  has  intervened,  to  realize  that  I,  who 
am  now  writing  you  beneath  this  glorious  Eastern  sky, 
and  surrounded  by  objects  widely  at  variance  with  those 
in  America,  am  the  same  being  who  formerly  took  my  daily 
seat  in  the  composition  room  of  the  Hartford  Female  Sem- 
inary. Sagely  as  we  girls  wrote  then  upon  the  vanity  of 
human  life,  and  the  transitoriness  of  all  earthly  things,  I 
am  sure  we  should  write  more  from  the  heart  now.  Yet 
there  is  one  thing  in  which  I  think  our  band  has  not  suffer- 
ed by  the  lapse  of  time.  We  have  indeed  been  separated 
widely,  and  have  formed  other  ties,  but  I  do  believe  we 
love  each  other  more  warmly  and  truly  than  we  did  when 
our  friendship  was  commenced  as  school  girls.  I  had  a 
few  weeks  since  a  long  and  beautiful  letter  from  Marion, 
and  she  is  the  same  warm  hearted  being  as  ever.  I  need 
not  tell  you  that  it  is  a  great  comfort  to  have  one  of  my 
school  companions  so  near  me  as  Isabella  Bliss  is.  We 
often  send  little  notes  back  and  forth  between  Trebizond 
and  Smyrna,  and  we  shall  be  nearer  each  other  when  we 
remove  to  Constantinople.  You  probably  will  have  heard 
before  this  reaches  you,  that  we  remove  to  Constantinople 
to  take  the  oversight  of  a  famil}^  school  for  Armenian 
females.  The  regular  instruction  will  be  given  by  a  com- 
petent teacher  obtained  for  that  purpose.  What  is  desired 
in  our  taking  the  charge  of  the  school  is,  that  a  Christian 
home  influence  should  be  exerted  over  those  who  will  be 
in  a  process  of  education.  I  shall  have  the  general  care  of 
the  housekeeping,  but  as  our  family  will  be  small,  this  will 
not  be  much.  Henry  will  be  occupied  in  preaching,  and 
in  active  labors  among  the  Armenians,  and  our  situation 
will,  of  course,  open  the  way  for  a  more  extended  enlight- 
ening of  the  females.  The  Armenian  gentlemen  feel  that 
a  thorough  reformation  can  not  take  place  in  their  nation, 


MKS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  273 

until  those  who  will  be  the  wives  and  mothers,  shall  come 
under  Christian  influence.  And  they  take  a  deep  interest 
in  this  enterprise.  It  is  a  deeply  interesting  as  well  as 
deeply  important  undertaking,  and  I  fear  I  have  not  the 
suitable  qualifications.  But  we  go  trusting  in  God  that 
He  will  direct  our  steps  and  give  us  all  the  wisdom  we 
need.  When  I  see  around  me  the  sad  want  of  principle 
which  exists,  the  darkness  which  shrouds  the  minds  of  this 
people,  over  which  no  star  of  hope  shines,  the  missionary 
work  assumes  an  interest  and  importance  which  it  never 
wore  to  me  in  America.  These  are  beautiful  countries. 
There  is  very  much  to  interest  one  who  loves  the  past,  and 
who  is  engaged  in  the  study  of  human  nature,  under  its 
various  phases.  There  are  constant  subjects  of  excite- 
ment, and  indeed  in  these  central  points  of  the  world,  we 
have  all  our  faculties  and  all  our  feelings  called  into  ex- 
ercise. I  have  said  often  that  I  seem  to  be  reading  a  story 
book  ;  I  had  almost  said  a  novel  since  I  have  been  here, 
and  yet  while  I  am  deeply  interested,  I  can  look  upon  these 
things,  and  move  among  these  scenes  with  far  more  calm- 
ness  than  when  in  other  days  I  used  to  dream  of  the  far 
off  East,  with  its  old  ruins,  its  cypress  and  orange  groves, 
and  the  turbaned  beings  who  dwelt  among  them.  To  be 
surrounded  by  followers  of  the  false  prophet  who  believe 
as  firmly  in  the  inspiration  of  the  Koran,  as  we  do  in  that 
of  the  Bible,  and  to  know  some  of  the  opinions  which  they 
delight  in,  makes  what  has  before  only  existed  to  me  in  my 
mind  seem  like  a  strange  reality.  But  we,  as  Franks,  feel 
more  sensibly  Catholic  influence  than  we  do  Mohammedan. 
We  are  surrounded  by  Catholics,  and  are  daily  brought 
fnto  contact  with  their  errors,  in  some  form  or  other.  To- 
day our  cook  tried  in  vain  to  obtain  some  meat  it  being 
Friday^  and  more  than  all  Lent. 

Ought  I,  my  dear  teacher,  to  make  an  apology  for  intra- 


274  *JI^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ding  so  long  upon  your  time  ?  I  could  not  help  writing  to 
you,  and  so  1  have  followed  my  inclinations.  If  you  ever 
have  a  moment  that  you  could  spend  in  sending  your  old 
pupil  a  word  of  remembrance,  I  need  not  tell  you  how  over- 
joyed I  should  be  to  receive  a  letter  from  you. 
With  much  affection  and  respect, 

I  remain  your  sincerely  attached  pupil, 

Mary  E.  Van  Lennep. 

Journal. 
*'  March  SOth.  It  is  a  beautiful  day  but  necessary  family 
engagements  have  prevented  us  from  taking  our  walk,  as 
we  do  each  day  for  exercise  ;  and  as  a  substitute  I  have 
•  been  walking  for  a  little  time  in  the  garden.  How  much 
we  shall  miss  this  lovely  little  garden.  It  supplies  us  with 
fresh  flowers  every  day  ;  and  when  I  am  binding  together 
beautiful  wall  flowers,  which  are  in  great  profusion,  with 
roses,  sweet  scented  violets,  an  orange  flower  or  two  by 
way  of  variety,  geranium  leaves  and  lavender,  I  think,  Oh, 
how  mamma  would  prize  such  a  bouquet !  And  I  wish  I 
had  you  to  arrange  my  vase  for  me.  I  have  a  little  mig- 
nonette, and  it  touchingly  reminds  me  of  my  home  in 
Hartford." 

"  April  4ttk.  Yesterday  had  a  letter  from  dear  father. 
He  was  in  Beiroot,  but  was  to  start  on  Monday  25th  of 
March,  in  company  with  Mr.  Smith  and  Dr.  A.  for  Jeru- 
salem. The  rest  of  their  company  had  left  the  day  that 
he  wrote  to  spend  the  Sabbath  in  Sidon,  and  tarry  for  them 
in  Tyre,  where  they  expected  to  reach  them  on  Tuesday 
night  the  26th.  It  really  seems  like  old  Bible  times. 
Father  had  been  up  Mount  Lebanon,  and  said  it  was  infi- 
nitely the  worst  road  he  ever  traveled.  In  America  it 
would  not  be  thought  possible  for  a  goat  to  go  where  their 
horses  carried  them." 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  275 

We  have  every  reason  to  rejoice  in  our  contemplated 
removal  to  Constantinople.  It  is  a  most  interesting  field, 
in  the  midst  of  most  interesting  scenes.  As  regards  my 
health,  it  is  thought  that  it  will  be  more  favorable  to  my 
New  England  constitution  ;  at  least  Dr.  A.  and  father  think 
so ;  for  though  I  am  in  much  better  health  now  than  I  ever 
was  in  America,  yet  the  summers  might  be  trying,  and  in 
Constantinople  it  is  much  cooler  than  here.  Then  the 
work  will  be  very  useful,  and  also  pleasant,  and  I  hope  it 
will  not  be  too  much  for  my  strength.  I  do  believe  it  is 
the  place  for  us.  God  seems  plainly  to  indicate  that  it  is 
to  he  our  v/ork.  H.  is  busy  with  his  Armenian.  Oh,  if  it 
were  not  for  the  language,  I  do  believe  all  my  fears  would 
go  now."" 

*'  Thursday  evening.  This  is  the  great  week  in  Smyrna. 
Passion  week  is  devoted  to  being  very  religious.  To-day 
the  yards  of  the  Catholic  vessels  are  all  crossed,  and  flags 
at  half  mast  ;  no  music  from  the  frigate,  and  to-morrow 
will  be  the  same.  Every  body  is  preparing  for  Easter, 
making  Easter  cakes,  &c.  The  custom  is,  to  have  partic- 
ular cakes  for  each  great  occasion.  Eggs  stained  red  are 
also  used.  They  are  cooked,  and  then  the  play  is  to  break 
them.  Each  one  takes  an  egg  at  dinner,  during  the  Easter 
holy-days,  and  tries  its  strength  by  knocking  it  against 
another  agg.  The  streets  are  full  of  flocks  of  lambs,  (for 
every  family  must  have  a  lamb  at  Easter)  and  the  bakeries 
are  full  of  cakes,  and  every  body  busy  with  preparations 
for  the  festivities.  But  do  not  think  they  have  commenced 
now.  O,  no,  this  is  the  solemn  passion  week,  when  the 
world  is  to  be  given  up  and  forgotten.  To-morrow  is  the 
great  fast.  On  Sunday,  Lent  is  over,  and  then  the  people 
give  themselves  up  to  rejoicings," 


276  ^^^^'  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

"  Saturday,  April  €)th.  This  morning,  at  11  o'clock^ 
the  flags  of  the  Consuls,  and  of  the  vessels  which  have 
been  at  half  mast,  were  raised,  and  the  yards  which  have 
been  crossed  were  squared,  and  music  again  burst  forth 
from  the  frigate  ;  while  the  bells,  which  have  been  silent 
for  a  day  or  two,  commenced  a  merry  ringing.  The  Greeks 
and  Catholics  are  wild  with  frolic  ;  pistols  are  fired  all 
Easter.  It  is  sad  to  see  the  death  and  resurrection  of  our 
Saviour,  observed  in  such  a  way  as  to  call  up  feelings  any 
thing  but  Christian. 

Last  Monday,  I  went  with  mamma  and  a  few  ladies,  to 
see  a  Turkish  school.  The  Hodja  (Teacher)  is  a  female 
of  unusual  enterprise,  for  a  Turkish  female.  Fatemah 
took  us  through  the  bazaars  to  Turk  Town,  which  is  built 
on  the  highest  part  of  the  city,  rising  to  the  castle.  The 
view  is  very  fine.  It  overlooks  the  city,  the  harbor,  the 
mountains,  and  the  house  must  be  ver}^  cold  in  summer. 
The  streets  are  painfully  steep  in  some  places.  We  passed 
through  the  part  burned  by  the  great  fire,  and  saw  many 
remains  of  its  devastation  ;  cypress  trees  blackened  and 
dead,  old  walls  smoked  ;  but  what  interested  me  most 
was,  the  old  stone  posts,  which  mark  the  gateway  of  the 
ancient  entrance  to  the  city.  We  passed  the  Jewish 
houses,  and  it  being  their  passover  week,  they  were  very 
busy  in  making  their  preparations.  The  Jews  here  are 
most  of  them  poor,  and  the  fear  in  which  they  continually 
live,  strikingly  verifies  prophecy.  They  are  almost  afraid 
of  their  own  shadows.  They  dare  not  be  out  after  seven 
in  the  evening,  and  a  child  can  alarm  them.  When  we 
came  to  the  house  of  Fatmah,  we  saw  the  bench  where  the 
chiMrensat,  and  the  bag  hung  up  on  the  wall,  where  their 
books  in  manuscript  are  kept.  She  teaches  them  to  read 
and  write.  I  was  much  amused  at  her  device  to  keep  the 
books  from  being  torn.  She  sews  the  pages  together,  and 
when  one  page  is  learned,  she  turns  the  leaf  over,  and  sews 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  277 

the  remainder  together.  Fatemah  sat  nuts,  &c.  before  us, 
and  then  took  us  round  to  see  some  Turkish  houses.  The 
last  one  we  entered  was  quite  pleasant.  A  fountain  was 
playing  in  the  centre  of  the  receiving  room,  and  black 
slaves  were  holding  the  children.  The  lady  was  pretty, 
and  looked  good  natured,  but  oh  so  vacant  their  minds  all 
seem.  We  saw  the  ladies  of  an  adjoining  harem  peeping 
at  us,  and  they  sent  to  have  us  come  in  and  see  them,  but 
it  was  too  late.  The  Turkish  ladies  are  very  glad  to  see 
Frank  ladies.  Fatemah  not  only  teaches  school,  but  she 
teaches  young  women  to  sew,  and  she  passes  for  quite 
learned  among  the  Turkish  ladies.  There  are  a  few  female 
Hodjas,  and  on  the  days  when  the  men  frequent  the 
INIosques,  the  ladies  go  to  the  Ilodjas,  to  hear  the  Koran 
read." 

*'  Wednesday,  April  I7th.  I  know,  dear  mother,  that 
your  heart  was  near  to  mine  yesterday,  and  that  you  were 
praying  that  my  new  year  might  be  blessed  by  God's  pres- 
ence. Last  year,  when  my  birth-day  came,  I  was  in  the 
home  of  my  childhood.  What  changes  a  year  has  brought! 
No  other  year  can  ever  be  so  full  of  changes,  or  so  impor- 
tant to  me,  as  this  last  one.  My  change  of  country,  and 
all  the  circumstances  connected  with  it,  were  then  in  the 
dreamy  future,  and  no  effort  of  mine  could  make  them  seem 
real.  Now  I  look  upon  all  these  as  natural  and  true  oc- 
currences. How  much  God  has  blessed  me.  Dear  mother, 
let  us  thank  Him  for  all  his  undeserved  favors. 

On  Thursday  evening,  the  prayer  meeting  was  at  our 
house,  because  every  thing  was  in  confusion  at  Mr.  Tem- 
ple's. They  were  arranging  to  leave.  I  thought  much 
of  you  that  evening,  and  longed  that  you  should  see  us 
thus  seated  in  our  large  parlor,  well  lighted.  H.  at  the 
table,  with  the  bible ;  mamma,  our  brothers,  and  dear  L., 
24 


278  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

with  the  two  Armenians,  the  Greek  youth  who  comes  to 
our  Bible  class,  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Temple,  around  in  the 
room.  We  had  a  lovely  meeting.  H.  explained  the  103d 
Psalm  very  sweetly,  and  I  could  not  help  weeping. 

On  Friday  we  made  a  pleasant  excursion  to  Castle  Hill. 
We  took  dinner  at  mamma's,  and  then  went  to  the  place 
appointed,  and  found  quite  a  party  there.  We  had  a 
Cavass,  a  soldier  of  the  Belgian  Consul,  with  us.  H. 
thought  it  unnecessary,  but  Mr.  D.,  who  remembered  what 
times  used  to  be  there,  thought  best  to  take  one.  People 
sometimes  lurked  among  the  ruins  for  evil  deeds.  We 
went  in  a  boat  to  the  end  of  the  city,  in  a  southerly  direc- 
tion, and  landing  at  the  barracks,  ascended  through  the 
Jewish  burying  ground.  The  tombs,  built  in  the  side  of 
the  hill,  and  rising  like  steps,  with  Hebrew  characters  upon 
them,  appeared  very  curious.  It  is  a  long,  steep  way  to 
the  Castle  wall.  I  was  deeply  interested  in  walking  among 
so  many  marks  of  other  days.  Our  thoughts  went  back 
to  the  time  when  the  early  Christians  suffered  for  the  truth 
on  those  very  places  where  our  feet  were  pressing.  The 
Christian  church  is  no  longer  standing,  the  stones  having 
been  taken  to  build  the  Turkish  barracks;  but  H.  well 
remembers  going  once  with  his  father  and  brother  to  the 
hill,  when  R.  took  a  view  of  the  church.  We  stood  for 
some  time  gazing  at  the  immense  area  of  what  was  once 
the  Circus.  There  were  distinctly  visible  the  tiers  of  seats 
in  the  sides  of  the  hill,  capable  of  seating  ten  thousand,  if 
not  more.  Of  course,  the  seats  themselves  have  been 
removed,  but  the  marks  of  them  remain.  In  that  circus, 
Polycarp  was  martyred  ;  but  grass  grows  now  in  the  arena 
and  there  is  little  to  remind  us  of  the  scenes  once  acted 
there.  The  castle  itself  is  an  interesting  place.  But  it  is 
not  possible  for  me  to  tell  you  all  the  things  which  make  it 
so.     It  is  massy  and  high,  though  very  much  ruined.  Only 


MRS    MARY  E.  VAN  LENN^iP.  279 

the  thick  walls  are  standing,  and  the  towers  are  all  choked 
with  rubbish.  The  view  is  magnificent,  and  the  associa- 
tions with  olden  times,  m.ake  that  hill  a  place  where  mem- 
ory speaks  even  more  than  the  eye  sees."" 

"  Wednesdaij^  May  \st.  During  all  last  week  we  were 
looking  for  our  dear  father,  and  still  he  did  not  come.  We 
wanted  to  go  to  Bournabat,  to  see  our  friends  there.  So  on 
Thursday,  our  three  young  brothers  came  and  went  with 
us.  We  proceeded  in  a  boat  half  way,  and  then  took  the 
road  through  green  hedges,  and  open  fields,  amidst  the 
twining  vines  and  olives,  to  the  village,  the  glorious  moun- 
tains every  where  bounding  the  horizon,  '  Making  a  sun- 
shine in  a  shady  place,'  aptly  expresses  the  way  our  hedged 
road  looked.  Every  little  while  the  boys  would  strike  up 
some  beautiful  air,  half  gay,  half  solemn,  and  thus  we 
wound  along.  It  is  three  miles  from  the  water  to  the  vil- 
lage, and  though  there  were  donkeys  at  the  landing,  I  pre- 
ferred walking,  and  was  not  fatigued.  We  rested  halfway, 
beneath  a  sycamore  tree,  and  saw  from  where  we  sat, 
patches  of  snow  on  Taetalee,  the  highest  mountain  seen 
from  Smyrna,  which  is  bleak,  even  in  summer.  Ice  is 
brought  from  there  to  the  city.  The  boys  plucked  '  hollow 
reeds,  and  made  rural'  pipes,  not  '  pens,'  and  greatly  amu- 
sed us  by  piping  the  rest  of  the  way  to  Bournabat.  Mr. 
Riggs'  house  is  delightful — old  ivy  grown  trees  ;  a  basin 
of  water,  in  which  gold  and  silver  fish  are  swimming  ;  and 
the  children  play  around  like  birds,  free,  simple  and  joy- 
ous. I  am  sorry  they  must  leave,  to  come  to  the  city, 
even  though  ours  is  so  pleasant  a  house.  The  storks  have 
made  their  nests  on  the  roof  of  their  house,  and  the  swal- 
lows build  in  the  hall.  We  went  over  to  Miss  D.'s  school, 
and  were  delighted  with  the  house  and  grounds.  Such  a 
profusion  of  roses  I  have  never  seen  before.     We  started 


280  ^^"^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


at  four,  on  our  return.  Could  you  only  see  the  prospect 
which  I  then  enjoyed.  The  glorious  waters,  sparkling  he- 
neath  a  bright  sky,  the  mountains  and  green  plains,  all 
bathed  in  sunshine  !  The  boys  sang  a  mournful  and  wild 
air,  which  sounded  strangely  sweet,  in  the  midst  of  so 
much  joyous  beauty.  The  wind  was  fresh,  and  our  little 
boat  rocked  and  dashed  on,  scattering  the  salt  sea  foam 
over  us. 

The  Stamboul  had  been  detained  in  quarantine,  having 
lost  a  man  overboard,  and  H.  sent  to  see  if  the  little  box 
for  us  had  come  on  shore.  With  what  joy  did  we  hail  E., 
who  came  bringing  it  to  us.  I  could  have  gazed  a  long 
time  at  every  mark  on  the  outside,  but  H.  hastened  to 
open  it,  and  then  I  did  not  want  to  move  the  papers  and 
cotton,  they  looked  so  like  you.  But  m}^  curiosity  soon 
triumph  <J,and  then  the  letters  and  articles  were  all  greet- 
ed, and  talked  over  and  examined.  Thank  all  my  dear 
friends,  and  the  little  girls  particularly,  for  writing.  I  shall 
answer  them  all  as  soon  as  I  can.  Oh,  how  good  and  kind 
you  are.  Dear,  dear  mother,  can  I  ever  repay  your  kind- 
ness ?     How  7iear  that  little  box  makes  us  all. 

In  the  evening  was  our  prayer  meeting.  It  was  held  at 
our  house,  and  Mr.  K.  presided.  On  Friday,  dear  father 
came." 

"  Smyrna,  May  4fh.  To-morrow  H.  will  go  down  to  the 
Lazaretto  to  bring  dear  father.  I  hope  I  may  find  time  to 
go  to  Sedecui  with  him,  but  we  must  pack  all  our  things. 
I  feel  sad  to  be  so  busy  the  last  days  in  which  my  dear 
father  is  here. 

"  Smyrna^  May  9th.  O,  my  precious  mother,  I  shall 
indeed  be  separated  from  you  all  when  to-morrow  evening 
comes.     May  God  keep  this  dear  parent  and  restore  him 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  281 


safely  to  you;  and  will  not  you  write  me  alwa3^s  just  as 
particularly  as  you  can,  so  that  I  may  feel  close  to  you  ? 
Dear  mother,  think  of  me  as  ever  with  you.  Do  not  call 
me  '  afar  off,'  for  I  am  with  you,  and  H.  is  with  you  more 
closely  than  ever,  by  affection,  and  by  spiritual  intercourse. 

Yesterday  we  went  to  Sedecui.  The  family  were  anx- 
ious that  dear  father  should  see  that  charming  place  ;  so  we 
made  time  and  went.  We  had  a  lovely  ride,  and  enjoyed 
it  very  much. 

Dear  father's  visit  in  these  lands  will  long  be  remem- 
bered with  interest  and  pleasure.  I  know  he  has  done 
good  by  coming  here.  We  thank  God  for  it.  0,my  dear 
mother,  when  you  read  this,  dear  father  will  be  again  with 
you  ;  and  you  will  all  rejoice  and  bless  God,  and  so  will 
I,  and  so  will  H.  Our  prayers  and  our  hearst'  best  wishes 
follow  that  dear  parent ;  and  we,  dear  mother,  will  work 
here  in  these  lands,  and  you  will  pray  for  us.  And  shall 
we  not  all  meet  in  heaven  ; 


From  the  husband  of  Mary. 

'■'•  Smyrna^  May  lOth.  We  have  been  enjoying  our 
father's  society  here  exceedingly.  Last  evening  at  our 
little  conference  meeting  he  took  charge  of  the  exercises, 
and  I  have  hardly  ever  enjoyed  any  words  of  his,  as  much 
as  I  did  his  remarks  on  the  text,  '  I  shall  be  satisfied  when 
I  wake  up  in  Thy  likeness.'  He  spoke  of  the  satisfaction 
of  the  soul  in  heaven,  in  such  glowing  language,  and  with 
so  elevated  a  spirit,  that  his  countenance  seemed  to  put 
on  a  brighter  hue ;  and  I  thought  I  should  not  want  a 
better  swan's  song,  not  merely  for  parting  with  loved  ones, 
but  for  death  itself.  1  do  not  know  how  either  Mary  or 
he  will  bear  the  hour  of  separation.  1  only  pray  God  to 
strengthen  them  both.  A  good  many  tears  have  already 
24* 


282  ^^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

been  shed  on  both  sides.  I  trust  that  God  will  give  them 
resignation  and  fortitude.  But  we  ought  surely  to  comfort 
ourselves  by  remembering,  that  what  is  our  loss  is  your 
gain,  and  also  that  of  many  who  love  him. 

This  visit  has  proved  exceedingly  beneficial  here,  as 
also  I  trust  it  has  in  all  the  places  he  has  visited.  I  look 
forward  with  great  expectation  to  its  bearing  on  the  cause 
of  Christ  in  America." 

To  Mrs.  C. 

Smyrna,  May  10th,  1844. 

**I  almost  hesitate  attempting  to  write  you  a  note,  my 
dear  Mrs.  C,  it  must  be  written  so  hastily  ;  but  I  do  not 
like  to  permit  my  dear  father  to  leave  without  carrying  a 
few  notes  to  my  friends  in  Hartford,  and  so  I  have  taken  my 
pen  to  address  the  beloved  parent  of  my  dear  Sabbath 
school  teacher.  I  have  found  the  little  books  you  so  kindly 
sent  me  to  the  boat,  when  1  left,  a  great  comfort.  I  love 
to  look  over  especially  the  hymns  that  are  marked,  some 
of  which  I  learnt  when  I  was  in  the  class. 

Our  dear  father  leaves  to-day.  I  regard  it  as  a  great 
mercy  that  he  has  come  to  this  land  ;  he  has  made  pasto- 
ral visits  to  all  the  stations  here,  and  his  prayers  and  sweet 
counsel  in  our  own  family  can  never  be  forgotten.  I  would 
not  detain  him  here,  though  it  is  great  bitterness  to  part, 
he  will  go  home. to  the  dear  people,  and  our  hearts  follow 
him,  and  our  prayers  go  up  to  God  for  him,  that  he  may 
be  carried  home  in  peace. 

In  our  meeting  last  evening,  dear  father  made  remarks 
on  the  hopes  which  the  Christian  has,  on  the  satisfaction 
which  he  will  feel  in  the  other  world.  While  we  were 
meditating  upon  these  blessed  truths,  it  made  the  separa- 
tions of  this  life  seem  very  little  indeed.     If  our  Heavenly 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  283 


Father  will  only  be  near  us,  and  give  us  his  gracious  pres- 
ence, we  can  pass  through  the  trials  of  this  world. 

I  am  more  and  more  glad  that  I  am  here  in  this  land, 
and  that  I  may  join  my  poor  feeble  efforts  to  those  of  others 
in  spreading  the  light  of  truth  here. 

The  missionary  work,  I  have  said  often,  increases  in 
importance  when  these  dark  lands  are  seen.  We  do  not 
fully  appreciate  the  blessings  of  the  Gospel,  till  we  see  the 
misery  that  exists  where  error  and  superstition  reign. 

You  have  no  doubt  heard  of  our  expected  removal  to 
Constantinople.  My  dear  father  can  tell  you  the  reasons 
for  this  more  at  length  than  I  can  write  them.  We  go 
cheerfully,  for  it  seems  to  be  the  indication  of  Providence. 

I  have  written  two  notes  to  Miss  A.  W.  It  is  a  great 
pleasure  to  be  able  to  communicate  with  these  dear  friends 
on  paper,  it  brings  them  nearer  than  I  supposed  it  would, 
and  indeed  I  do  not  feel  very  for  off.  \^  e  are  united  by 
stronger  ties  than  time  and  distance  can  break.  I  often  think 
of  the  remark  made  by  Henry  Martyn,  '  that  time  and  dis- 
tance ought  not  to  be  much  to  the  Christian.'  1  hope  that 
you  are  able  to  see  my  dear  mothf^r  often.  She  writes  me 
that  her  friends  are  very  kind  to  her — and  Hartford  peo- 
ple are  dear  kind  people.  H.  and  1  carry  with  us  a  grate- 
ful remembrance  of  their  unwearied  kindness  to  us,  and 
our  hope  is,  that  God  will  give  us  strength  to  prove  our- 
selves not  wholly  unworthy  of  it.  May  we  strive  to  do 
here,  as  our  dear  friends  at  home  would  do,  were  they  in 
our  places,  and  surrounded,  as  we  are,  by  multitudes  who 
know  not  God. 

My  dear  Mrs.  C,  when  I  remember  the  blessings  of 
my  life,  the  dear  friends  whom  God  has  giv^n  me  as 
guides,  when  I  think  of  that  dear  teacher,  now  in  heaven, 
who  pointed  me  to  Christ,  my  heart  is  filled  with  grati- 


284  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

tude,  and  I  try  to  become  a  blessing  to   others,   as   they 
have  been  blessings  to  me. 

H.  unites  with  me  in  much  love  to  yourself,  and  your 
dear  family,  and  believe  me, 

Very  affectionately,  your  friend, 

M.  E.  V.  L." 

To  her  Father. 

Friday  Morn, 
"  My  own  precious  father, — God  will  take  care  of  you 
on  the  great  waters,  and  w^ill  bring  you  safely  to  your 
dear  home  and  people,  and  we,  shall  we  not  pray  for  you 
and  send  our  hearts  with  you ;  and  does  time  or  distance 
separate  us  }  Oh  no,  my  dear  father,  time  and  distance 
cannot  break  the  ties  which  bind  our  hearts  together;  for 
we  are  united  by  our  Father  in  Heaven,  and  it  is  his  love 
which  makes  -us  one  company^  one  Jamily  still.  Do  not 
think  that  H.  and  1  are  'afar  off;'  it  will  not  be  true  if  you 
do.  We  are  close  to  you,  and  God  up  in  heaven,  who 
sees  our  hearts,  looks  upon  us  as  if  we  were  not  separated. 
Oh,  my  dear  father,  it  is  good  to  be  in  his  hands,  to  know 
no  wmU  but  his,  to  work  just  where  he  appoints,  and  just 
how  he  appoints.  We  thank  God  that  he  has  brought 
you  here.  You  will  never  know  the  good  you  have  done, 
in  this  world.  It  has  been  a  sweet  comfort  to  H.  and  me, 
and  every  word  of  yours  is  treasured  in  our  memory.  I 
thank  you  {thank  is  a  poor  word,)  for  every  counsel  you 
have  ever  given  me  ;  for  every  prayer  you  have  prayed  for 
me  ;  for  all  the  sermons  1  have  heard  you  preach  ;  for  all 
our  pleasant  talks  together. 

Dear  father,  you  will  not  be  sorry  that  we  are  w^orking 
on  missionary  ground,  when  you  get  to  heaven.  How  I 
shall  remember  and  live  upon  your  last  words  at  the  meet- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  285 

ing.  It  was  a  good  meeting,  and  I  wish  we  could  keep 
heaven  every  nrioment  in  our  nnind.  And  now  go  home  to 
dear  mother,  and  comfort  her  heart,  and  train  up  dear  E. 
to  be  a  missionary,  and  tell  all  my  young  friends  that  there 
is  a  great  and  a  blessed  work  to  be  done  in  this  world,  and 
that  they  have  but  one  life  to  do  it  in.  Oh,  beseech  them 
to  be  in  earnest  about  doing  good.  I  have  never  been  half 
earnest  enough  about  it. 

Our  hearts  go  with  you.  Do  not  you  believe  it,  dear 
father  ?  Why  will  you  still  think  we  are  after  all  sepa- 
rated ?  What  is  a  mass  of  water  or  a  piece  of  earth  }  It 
does  not  keep  our  hearts  apart ;  it  may  have  power  over 
the  body,  but  never  any  power  over  the  spirit.  May  God 
help  us  to  believe  this,  and  to  live  in  the  sweet  hope  of 
spending  our  eternity  around  his  throne.  And  now,  dear 
father  I  embrace  you  and  kiss  away  all  your  tears,  and  I 
am 

Your  own  affectionate  Daughter." 

From  the  husband  of  Mary. 

"  Dearest  father,  I  cannot  resist  the  temptation  of  writ- 
ing a  few  words  which  the  lips  refuse  to  express.  I  wish 
to  thank  you  for  all  the  happiness  your  visit  has  occasioned 
us,  and  for  the  good  you  have  done  us  by  your  presence, 
your  words,  your  prayers,  and  your  example.  How  pleas- 
ant will  be  the  thought  of  it  when  we  are  separated  per- 
haps to  meet  no  more  on  the  earth.  But  God  will  make 
us  meet  again.  Or  if  he  does  not,  it  will  surely  be  in  love, 
and  why  should  we  repine  ? 

You  have  seen  your  Mary's  new  home,  you  have  lived 
a  short  time  amid  the  scenes  which  will  probably  surround 
her  till  death.  Will  it  not  be  a  comfort  to  you  ?  And 
if  you  must  be  separated  from   her  on  the   earth,  where 


286  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

would  you  have  her  but  in  such  a  field,  engaged  in  labor- 
ing for  a  cause  by  the  side  of  which  all  hunnan  occupations 
dwindle  into  insignificance,  a  labor,  a  situation  I  would 
not  exchange  for  any  on  the  earth. 

You  go  with  our  best  prayers,  our  best  wishes  for  your 
happiness.  May  God  keep  you  safely  on  the  waters  and 
on  the  land  ;  may  he  bring  you  to  your  beloved  country 
without  accident,  rejoicing  in  all  the  way  he  has  led  you  ; 
may  you  reach  home  in  peace,  and  meet  with  joy  all  your 
dear  ones  !  Good  bye,  dearest  father  ;  think  of  us  with 
comfort  and  happiness,  and  know  that  we  love  you  with 
truest  love. 

Your  devoted  Son, 

H." 

"  Smyrna^  May  2ifh.  My  dearest  mother,  it  is  a  great 
while  since  I  have  said  a  word  to  you,  and  now  I  can  only 
come  and  tell  you,  that  to-morrow  we  must  again  break 
ties  that  we  have  formed,  but  I  mean  to  try  and  be  cheer- 
ful. I  have  told  you  nothing  of  the  parting  days  with 
dear  father.  I  am  glad  that  scene  is  over,  and  that  soon 
he  will  be  with  you.  It  was  harder  parting  with  him 
here  than  it  would  have  been  in  America — far  more  try- 
ing for  each  of  us.  But  I  regard  his  visit  as  a  great  bless- 
ing, and  so  we  all  do.  We  go  and  come,  meet  and  part, 
live  together  and  then  separate.  Oh,  what  a  strange 
world  !" 


CHAPTER  XII. 

RESIDENCE    AT    CONSTANTINOPLE. 
From  Mr.  V,  L. 

*'  Constantinople,  May  28th.  Our  ride  here  from  Smyr- 
na, in  the  steamer,  was  as  pleasant  as  possible.  The 
weather  was  beautiful,  and  the  sea  exceedingly  smooth. 
I  rejoice  that  these  things  have  aided  in  giving  Mary  good 
first  impressions  of  Constantinople.  We  enjoyed  a  rare 
sight  in  the  channel  of  the  Dardanelles.  As  we  were 
going  up  we  saw  several  vessels  anchored  on  both  sides, 
waiting  for  a  favorable  wind.  The  north  wind  had  pre- 
vailed for  forty  days,  and  all  that  can  be  done  in  such 
circumstances  is,  to  anchor  and  wait  for  the  south  wind. 

Our  steamer  anchored  before  the  Castle  of  Asia,  and 
staid  there  four  hours  ;  the'  captain  doing  us  the  favor  of 
M'aiting,  so  as  to  reach  the  city  by  day  light.  While  at 
anchor  a  very  light  breeze  sprung  up.  In  a  moment  every 
sail  was  unfurled,  and  a  dense  forest  of  masts,  whitened 
with  canvas,  came  sweeping  by,  in  a  channel  about  a  mile 
broad.  The  sight  was  magnificent,  and  altogether  beyond 
description.  After  all  had  gone  by  we  started  too,  and 
passing  through  the  whole  fleet,  many  of  them  within 
speaking  distance,  we  left  the  fastest  sailors  at  the  en- 
trance of  the  Marmora. 


288  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

The  evening  was  charming,  the  sea  smooth  as  a  mirror, 
the  moon  pouring  her  mild  rays  upon  the  quiet  waters, 
and  a  bright  star  sparkling  like  a  gem  in  the  sky.  One  of 
our  Armenian  friends  said  with  truth,  that  it  was  not  a  night 
for  sleep.  At  half  past  three  the  next  morning  I  was  up 
and  on  deck.  The  sea  was  smooth  as  glass,  and  the  smoke 
of  our  chimney  remained  where  it  was  thrown  out.  The 
faint  light  of  dawn  showed  the  minarets  and  domes  of 
Constantinople,  whose  outlines  were  engraved  on  the  sky. 
The  captain  ordered  the  wheel  down,  and  the  steamer 
went  round  and  round  in  a  circle,  until  all  the  passengers 
were  up  and  dressed,  and  the  rays  of  the  sun  had  begun  to 
gild  the  highest  buildings  of  Stamboul.  I  will  not  attempt 
to  describe  to  you  the  splendor  of  the  scene  as  we  entered. 
Every  eye  on  board  was  stretched,  and  every  bench  on 
deck  was  lined  with  people  standing  as  high  as  they  could. 

We  have  been  received  here  with  the  utmost  cordiality. 
Mary  and  1  have  talked  much  together  about  our  work 
here,  and  every  thing  connected  with  our  .change  of  sta- 
tion ;  and  we  both  come  fully  determined  to  be  as  happy, 
and  to  do  as  much  good  as  is  in  our  power. 

We  now  need  God's  grace  continually  to  sanctify  and 
to  guide  us,  to  imbue  us  with  the  spirit  of  the  Gospel,  and 
to  give  us  all  the  wisdom  and  the  prudence  we  need.  It 
is  a  great  comfort  to  me  to  think  that  so  many  dear  friends 
remember  us  in  their  prayers,  and  especially  that  we  are 
remembered  at  two  altars,  where  we  have  knelt — the 
altars  where  our  two  mothers  offer  their  petitions." 

Constantinople^  June  2 1  st.  Dear  Mother, — I  closed  my 
last  journal  and  sent  by  the  Cameo,  just  the  day  before 
father  came  from  quarantine.  On  Sunday  morning.  May 
5th,  H.  rose  early,  while  I  slept,  and  went  off  in  a  boat 
from  our  garden  wharf  to  get  father.     It  was  a  lovely  day. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  289 

I  went  and  walked  on  the  terrace  to  wait  their  coming. 
That  beautiful  terrace  !  Then  I  ran  down  to  the  garden 
wharf  and  welcomed  my  dear  father,  and  we  walked  hand 
in  hand  along  the  court,  trying  not  to  think  how  soon  we 
should  part.  You  know  we  had  packed  much  of  our  fur- 
niture, but  we  had  a  few  things  in  order.  Then  father 
dressed,  breakfasted,  and  we  had  prayers — one  of  his 
sweet  prayers,  and  then  he  prepared  to  preach.  His  ser- 
mon was  refreshing  and  deeply  interesting,  ''Behold  I  lay 
in  Zion,"  &c.  I  remember  it  now,  and  his  looks  and 
tones  distinctly.     The  people  were  very  attentive. 

On  Monday  we  were  all  packing,  and  in  some  confusion. 
Our  friends  called  during  the  day,  and  in  the  evening  came 
the  monthly  concert.  Tuesday  morning  I  walked  on  the 
terrace  and  committed  our  interests  to  God.  The  confu- 
sion increased  hourly  in  our  house,  or  rather  I  should  say 
the  desertion.  Our  younger  brothers  were  packing,  and 
N.  and  a  Jew  were  doing  the  hard  heavy  work.  In  the 
evening  our  brothers  came  and  sang  their  beautiful  songs, 
while  dear  father  sat  b}'  me  on  the  sofa.  Through  every 
scene  of  those  days,  was  the  consciousness  of  the  coming 
separation,  and  I  could  only  pray  for  strength. 

On  Wednesday  we  went  with  dear  father  and  Dr.  A.  to 
Sedecui.  The  next  day  my  heart  grew  sadder.  Dear 
mamma  came  to  see  what  she  could  do.  How  much  she 
felt  for  father  during  those  days.  In  the  evening  we  had 
our  farewell  meeting  at  Mr.  A.'s.  H.  has  told  you  about 
that.  The  next  day  we  gathered  at  dinner,  and  then  H. 
went  with  father  to  mamma's.  While  they  were  gone  I 
passed  my  time  in  writing  to  some  of  my  young  friends,  for 
1  knew  not  how  to  support  my  thoughts.  We  all  went  in  a 
boat  to  the  steamer.  I  cannot  write  about  it.  We  staid 
only  a  few  moments  in  our  poor,  deserted  house,  and  then 
we  went  down  to  mamma's.  We  watched  the  steamer 
25 


290  ^JE^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

from  the  great  parlor.  I  saw  the  same  steamer  the  other 
day.     That  steamer  has  seen  father  since  I  saw  him. 

On  Wednesday,  the  15th  of  May,  we  made  an  excursion 
to  the  Tchiflick.  It  is  a  country  full  of  romantic  interest. 
Wild  animals  abound  there.  Recently  a  panther  eat  up  a 
little  Mytilene  poney ;  and  there  are  robbers  around,  who 
make  bold  attempts  to  steal  the  horses.  Nature  has  done 
every  thing  she  could  for  the  Tchiflick,  and  R.  and  C.  are 
doing  all  they  can  to  make  it  a  beautiful  as  well  as  a  profit- 
able estate.  1  have  written  C.  C.  an  account  of  it,  which 
you  have  doubtless  seen,  so  I  will  not  describe  it  here. 

Excursion  to  the  Tchiflick. 

To  C.  C. 

Smyrna,  May,  22r/,  1844, 

Wherever  I  go  my  dear  C e,  whether  alone  or  in 

the  midst  of  the  friends  I  have  found  in  these  lands,  *f  I 
have  ever  a  presence  that  whispers"  of  the  dear  friends  I 
have  left.  I  carry  you  with  me  amid  every  scene  of  inter- 
est through  which  I  pass.  I  look  with  more  than  two 
eyes,  and  feel  with  more  than  one  heart,  while  the  past 
comes  with  my  present,  and  I  seem  to  be  living  two  lives, 
which  are  not  two  either. 

I  went  last  week  to  the  Tchiflick  or  landed  estate  owned 
by  R.  and  C,  brothers  of  H.,  and  I  enjoyed  so  much  I  could 
not  but  wish  that  all  my  friends  were  with  me.  As  this 
could  not  be,  I  concluded  to  make  some  little  collections  of 
flowers  both  for  you  and  my  dear  mother;  and  although 
they  will  lose  their  fragrance  and  beauty,  and  give  you  but 
little  idea  of  their  exquisite  loveliness  when  I  gathered 
them,  yet  they  will  serve  perhaps  to  give  more  distinct- 
ness to  your  thoughts  of  my  Eastern  home.  We  went  to 
Sedecui  on  the  13th,  to  rest,  having  become  much  worn 


MPS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  291 

both  in  body  and  mind,  by  packing  for  Constantinople,  and 
by  parting  with  our  precious  father,  who  left  us  on  the 
10th  for  Trieste.  Sedecui  is  a  lovely,  quiet  spot,  and  full, 
painfully  full  of  associations  with  the  past.  It  is  also  a 
place  full  of  present  interest  and  enjoyment.  Beneath  its 
ivy  grown  trees,  and  amid  its  old  dwellings,  other  voices 
have  echoed,  and  those  whose  graves  are  now  scattered  in 
different  parts  of  Europe,  once  lived  there,  and  called  it 
home  ;  and  another  generation,  and  still  another,  have 
grown  up  in  their  places.  The  same  story  of  youth,  life  and 
death  is  going  on  all  over  the  world,  and  I  could  not  keep 
from  my  mind  the  coming  years,  when  I  looked  upon  the 
buoyantgroup  which  now  wake  the  merry  laugh, or  breathe 
the  tones  of  feeling  in  the  social  gatherings  of  Sedecui ;  and 
I  thought  how  youth  must  ripen  to  manhood,  and  man- 
hood sink  to  decay,  and  all,  all  must  pass  away,  even  as 
those  who  once  peopled  that  quiet  retreat,  and  whose 
fading  memory  and  antiquated  pictures  alone  remain. 

It  had  been  previously  arranged  that  we  should  form  a 
party  to  the  Tchiflick  on  Wednesday,  and  so  between  four 
and  five  o'clock  we  were  up,  and  our  donkeys  and  donkey 
drivers  were  brought  with  the  mules  for  our  baggage. 
Baggage  does  not  mean  trunks,  but  pack-saddles,  beds, 
bedding,  &c.  We  took  coffee  and  were  on  our  way  before 
six  o'clock.  But  I  must  describe.  Did  you  ever  see  a 
donkey  in  America  ?  I  never  did.  But  imagine  a  little 
animal  something  like  a  mule,  only  with  a  meeker  and 
more  silly  face,  so  low  in  stature  that  when  a  tall  person 
like  father  rides  him,  the  feet  almost  touch  the  ground  ; 
and  it  is  a  sight  worthy  the  brush  of  Hogarth.  I  have  had 
so  many  donkey  frolics  that  I  have  almost  ceased  laughing 
at  donkey  parties.  Gentlemen  generally  ride  horses,  but 
at  this  season  the  horses  are  put  to  grass.     Ladies  look 


292  MRS.  MARy  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

tolerably  well  upon  these  animals,  but  a  gentleman   looks 
strangely  out  of  place. 

Our  party  consisted  of  H.  and  three  of  his  brothers,  all 
in  hunting  dresses,  some  with  guns,  some  with  pistols,  and 
all  together  making  quite  a  picturesque  appearance,  par- 
ticularly as  a  hunting  horn  was  slung  over  E.'s  shoulder. 
C.  alone  bestrode  a  horse,  and  he  rode  behind  to  keep  the 
loiterers  with  the  party.  Our  two  cousins,  Emily  and 
Helen,  rode  on  country  saddles,  and  a  Greek  donkey  driver 
walked  by  their  side.  It  is  useless  attempting  any  such 
persuasion  as  influence  other  animals  ;  donkeys  listen  only 
to  the  voice  and  stick  of  their  driver.  L.  and  I  wore  broad 
straw  hats  which  served  in  place  of  parasols,  and  which 
are  convenient  in  riding.  We  all  tip'd,  tip'd  along,  waking 
up  the  villagers  with  our  merry  horn,  and  they  came  flock- 
ing to  their  gates,  half  dressed  and  half  asleep. 

We  do  not  meet  houses  scattered  here  and  there  as  in 
America,  but  ride  along  narrow  paths,  such  as  you  would 
call  bye  roads,  with  low  trees  or  brush  wood  on  either 
side,  and  sometimes  between  hedges  which  are  so  high 
above  the  road,  and  covered  by  creeping  vines,  that  they 
half  arch  over  the  way.  There  are,  now  and  then,  groves 
of  olives,  and  many  detached  trees,  such  as  the  almond, 
(like  our  peach,)  the  willow,  the  pine,  the  platanus,  wild' 
pear,  &c.  and  an  endless  variety  of  low  shrubs  and  thorn 
trees  ;  but  you  would  miss  as  I  do,  the  tall  thick  forests  o^ 
our  land.  You  would  look  in  vain  for  a  rail  fence,  or  a 
little  farm  house  rising  among  the  trees.  If  you  saw  any 
red  roofs,  there  would  be  a  red  tiled,  village  with  a  mosque 
and  cypress  trees  clustering  together.  About  an  hour 
after  starting  we  reached  a  caffeney  at  the  end  of  a  miser- 
able village  all  in  ruins,  and  dismounting  we  sat  upon  the 
stones  by  the  well  and  took  coffee.  Then  we  entered  upon 
a  long,  long  plain,  at  the  other  end  of  which,  just  at  the 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  293 

base  of  the  mountains,  the  little  cottages  of  the  Tchiflick 
lie.  We  saw  their  red  roofs  for  a  long  time  before  reach- 
ing them,  as  they  stand  upon  ground  somewhat  elevated. 
Now  and  then  a  few  black  tents  of  the  wandering  Turko- 
mans appeared,  far  to  the  right  and  left  of  our  road,  and 
camels  which  they  had  turned  out  to  graze  would  lift  their 
strange  faces  occasionally  as  we  passed.  The  Tchiflick  is 
the  great  hobby  of  our  family,  for  besides  being  full  of  the 
most  majestic  scenery,  it  is  a  farm  in  which  American  and 
European  improvements  in  agriculture  are  being  made. 
Every  improvement  is  so  intimately  connected  with  the 
missionary  enterprise,  that  the  Tchiflick  cannot  but  interest 
the  friends  of  missions.  Already  the  American  plough  is 
introduced,  and  they  hope  before  long  to  establish  a  car- 
riage road  between  Sedecui  and  the  Tchiflick.  It  is  a 
large  estate,  being  six  miles  one  way  and  three  the  other, 
and  it  is  a  most  charming  spot.  There  is  an  immense  gar- 
den of  fruit  trees  and  vegetables  ;  and  the  forest  trees  there 
are  larger  than  any  where  else.  Indeed,  among  those 
beautiful  mountain  trees  which  shaded  the  gorge,  I  did  not 
feel  the  want  of  the  trees  of  America.  But  it  is  of  our 
excursion  to  the  great  gorge  I  wish  to  speak.  On  Thurs- 
day, very  early,  while  the  mists  were  rolling  up  the  sides 
of  the  mountains,  we  M^ere  winding  along  a  narrow  path, 
at  the  entrance  of  the  wildest  scenery  I  ever  looked  upon. 
Never  can  I  forget  that  day  ;  it  was  such  a  one  as  Bur- 
leigh pictures  in  his  June.  It  was  a  day  and  a  place  for 
luxuriating  in  thought,  and  I  rode  slowly  along  those  scenes, 
generally  behind  the  others.  A  little  river  was  making  its 
way  through  the  gorge  to  the  sea,  and  we  were  winding  on 
its  banks,  and  looking  up  at  heights  so  bold,  so  frowning, 
so  majestic,  that  our  hearts  were  filled  both  with  gladness 
and  awe.  Immense  ledge^of  hard  limestone,  blackened 
by  age,  rise  abruptly  and  in  perpendicular  lines  from  the 
25* 


294  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

bed  of  the  river,  which  is  so  wedged  in  between  two  moun- 
tains that  there  is  no  room  for  a  foot  path  on  either  side. 
Pine  and  sycamore  trees  are  there  in  their  glory.  We 
forded  the  river  ten  times,  and  came  near  getting  a  wnetting 
at  each  crossing,  but  by  holding  up  our  dresses,  and  putting 
our  feet  nearly  over  the  donkey's  head,  we  escaped  most 
of  the  water.  But  those  rocks  !  those  glorious  heights  ! 
how  can  I  describe  them  ?  My  heart  was  full.  And  there, 
among  those  mountains  of  Asia  Minor,  I  remembered  the 
friends  far  away,  and  resolved  to  send  them  some  of  the 
exquisite  flowers  which  grew  in  such  profusion  around  our 
path.     How  can  I  enjoy   any  thing  and   not  wish  you  all 

with  me  ?     And  so,  dear  C e,  though  my  flowers 

will  fade  long  before  they  reach  you,  try  to  imagine  the 
day  back  again  in  which  they  w^ere  picked,  and  wander 
with  me  by  that  stream  in  the  gorge.  There  were  every 
where  scattered  tall  olianders,  but  it  was  not  the  season 
for  their  flowering.  After  riding  perhaps  two  hours  or 
more,  we  stopped  to  spend  the  day  in  a  shady  place.  We 
were  at  no  loss  there  for  shady  places,  for  the  trees  grew 
thick  and  large,  and  beautiful  vines  were  twining  amongst 
them.  We  ladies  sat  down  on  a  carpet  which  had  been 
spread  for  us  in  a  little  grove  of  majestic  sycamores,  which 
formed  a  natural  alley  on  both  sides  of  a  road  rarely  trod- 
den by  the  traveller,  twining  their  branches  over  head  and 
casting  a  deep  shadow  underneath.  Our  gentlemen  soon 
started  for  the  heights,  and  we  heard  their  voices  as  they 
ascended  the  rocks.  Soon  came  the  cry  of  "  the  sea,  the 
sea,"  and  looking  up  we  found  they  had  reached  a  lofty 
summit,  and  were  enjoying  a  glorious  prospect.  They 
fired  their  guns,  and  then  a  thousand  echoes  answered. 
But  when  the  horn  sounded,  all  that  ever  was  written  of 
mountain  echoes  was  more  thap  realized,  and  1  have  come 
to  the  conclusion  that  no  sound  can  equal  that  of  a  horn 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  295 

echoing  among  the  mountains.  I  can  hear  it  now.  I  can 
almost  imagine  I  am  back  among  those  rocks,  beneath  that 
sky  so  brightly  blue,  and  sitting  where  the  golden  light 
made  a  ''  sunshine  in  a  shady  place." 

We  took  our  dinner  in  primitive  style.  The  men  roasted 
for  us  a  lamb  whole,  and  with  yoourt  and  pilafF  we  made 
quite  an  eastern  dinner.  Pistol  shots  are  signals  here.  In 
the  morning  when  Yanee,  who  came  with  our  dinner, 
wished  to  find  where  we  were,  he  fired  and  C.  answered 
him.  And  whenever  any  one  is  in  distress,  or  a  fire  occurs, 
pistols  are  fired. 

About  four  we  started  to  make  our  way  back.  That 
evening  after  we  had  returned  to  our  cottage,  we  felt  an 
earthquake  shake  it  quite  sensibly.  There  are  no  houses 
but  those  of  the  men  who  work  on  the  land,  and  one  little 
cottage  of  only  two  rooms,  and  hardly  large  enough  to  turn 
round  in.  It  was  fitted  up  to  make  the  young  gentlemen 
comfortable  when  they  go  there  to  superintend  operations, 
and  also  to  hunt  the  wild  boar,  &c.  It  was  in  this  little 
cottage  that  we  staid.  It  is  very  wild  and  lonely  there. 
We  heard  the  jackals  cry  in  the  evening,  and  sometimes 
hyenas  come  into  the  garden.  In  the  night  we  heard  a 
terrible  barking  and  calling  of  the  men,  and  feared  some 
wolf  had  entered  the  fold  ;  but  we  learned  next  morning 
that  it  was  only  some  of  the  domestic  animals  that  had  got 
loose.  We  saw  the  large,  kind,  brave  shepherd's  dogs  ; 
some  were  at  the  cottage,  but  others,  and  the  most  of  them 
probably,  were  off  on  the  mountains  with  the  flocks.  The 
third  day  we  came  back  to  Sedecui. 

Journal. 

Our  last  Sunday  at  Sedecui  was  very  lovely.  It  was  so 
warm  and  clear  that  we  spent  nearly  all  the  day  under  the 
trees  at  the  foot  of  the  garden,  reading  and  meditating. 
We  had  service  in  the  parlor  in  the  morning,  and  in  the 


296  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNfcP. 

afternoon  at  five  o'clock  we  had  our  last  Bible  class  under 
the  ivy  at  the  foot  of  the  garden. 

On  Tuesday  evening  we  gathered  for  the  last  time  to- 
gether in  that  dear  place.     The  next  morning  we  came  to 

the  city.     Mamma,  L y,  and  the  brothers  with  us. 

They  would  not  separate  from  us  until  we  left  for  Constan- 
tinople. 

Those  few  remaining  days  were  full  of  business,  doing 
last  things.  On  Thursday  afternoon  I  took  tea  with  Mrs. 
Riggs,  in  the  house  which  had  been  so  recently  my  own 
dear  home.  On  Friday  evening  there  was  a  general  gath- 
ering of  our  missionary  friends  and  others  at  Mr.  Calhoun's. 

On  Saturday  we  took  our  dinner  for  the  last  time  togeth- 
er at  dear  mamma's.  Then  after  a  little  time  H.  and  I 
were  obliged  to  say  farewell.  Dear  mainma,  it  was  hard. 
All  our  brothers  went  with  us  in  the  boat.  They  stood  in 
the  steamer  with  us  some  time.  Our  missionary  friends 
were  there  also.  Then  they  all  left  us.  H.  and  I  did  feel 
lonely  while  we  gazed  on  the  fast  receding  city,  and  its 
noble  amphitheatre  of  mountains,  and  felt  it  was  no  longer 
our  home.  Just  six  months  before  we  had  greeted  its  red 
roofs,  and  those  dear  friends  were  then  unknown  by  face  to 
me.     God  only  knows  when  again  we  shall  meet. 

And  now,  dear  mother,  I  will  commence  my  Constanti- 
nople life.  I  will  tell  you  my  dear  parents,  I  shall  be  con- 
tented and  quiet  here,  but  it  is  hard  to  remove  my  affec- 
tions and  sympathies  from  Smyrna.  I  suppose  you  do  not 
wonder  that  that  place  seems  more  like  home.  But  I  am 
contented  to  be  here.  The  Armenians  interest  us  very 
much.  H.  says  he  could  sit  all  day  talking  with  them  and 
ncit  be  tired,  their  minds  are  so  wide  awake.  I  hope  I 
may  be  useful  among  the  females  ;  they  seem  a  lovely  set 
of  beings  ;  and  they  look  upon  us  with  much  kindness  and 
with  hope  too.     The  men  gather  around  H.  and  express 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  297 

the  deepest  interest  in  our  plans.  The  language  does  not 
discourage  me.  The  words  are  easy  to  remember,  and  I 
am  trying  on  all  sides  to  pick  them  up.  How  I  shall  love 
to  mingle  with  them  when  I  have  the  language.  Viewed 
in  this  light  Constantinople  becomes  far  more  interesting 
than  Smyrna. 

The  warm  weather  1  do  not  mind  at  all  ;  it  has  none  of 
the  lassitude  and  insupportableness  of  American  heat. 
The  thermometer  is  at  this  time  ninety  in  the  shade,  in 
some  of  our  houses  ;  but  I  do  not  mind  it  at  all.  Nor  do 
I  feel  the  heat  as  the  others  do.  But  if  my  life  is  spared, 
I  shall  probably  feel  it  more  another  summer. 

H.  has  described  to  you  our  ride  here  in  the  steamer. 
Early  on  the  morning  of  the  27th  of  May,  we  were  on 
deck,  watching  the  dim  minarets  of  old  Stamboul,  in  the 
grey  light.  How  magnificent  was  our  entrance  !  As  we 
came  up  to  the  city,  the  sun  had  just  begun  to  gild  its 
Mosques  and  Towers.  Then  we  passed  the  green  shades 
of  Seraglio  Point,  and  came  into  the  Golden  Horn.  You 
can  tell  mamma  all  about  it,  dear  father  ;  only  imagine  it 
summer,  and  not  winter  as  when  you  were  here,  and  ima- 
gine the  white  Seraglio  Palace,  looking  out  from  its  green 
bosom.  The  little  Kaiques  glided  along,  covering  the 
waters.  These  Kaiques  are  fairy  boats  for  summer  seas. 
Are  they  not  pretty,  dear  father,  with  their  curious  carvings  ? 
Mr.  H,  and  G.  both  came  for  us,  and  we  climbed  up  the 
steep  streets  of  Pera,  and  found  ourselves  at  Mr.  H.'s, 
where  Mrs."  H.  waited  to  receive  us.  We  were  treated 
with  great  kindness.  Soon  all  the  Missionaries  began  to 
come  in.  We  passed  a  pleasant  time  there,  getting  ac- 
quainted with  our  friends,  and  searching  in  vain  for  a 
house.  It  is  very  difficult  to  find  any  thing  in  the  shape 
of  a  dwelling,  that  will  accommodate  us. 

On  Saturday  I  went  to  a  Turkish  bath — a  real  Turkish 


29 S  *I^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

bath  ;  and  it  was  more  like  Babel  than  any  place  I  was  ever 
in   before — children   screaming,  women  calling,  shouting, 
scolding,  and  every  sound  multiplied  a  thousand  times,  by 
the  resounding  of  those  vaulted  walls,  till  my  brain  no  lon- 
ger contained  a  calm  tliought.     I  only  knew  that  I,  and  all 
the  rest  of  the  yelling  community  around  me,  came  to  be 
washed.     We  sent  a  bundle  of  clothes,  combs,  brushes, 
scrubbing  flannels,  napkins,  &c.,  on  before  us.     When  arri- 
ved at  the  bath,  we  first  entered  a  large  room  with  a  raised 
platform  around  the  sides.     This  platform  is  divided  into 
various  compartments  by  railings,  and  each  party  occupies 
one  of  these  compartments.     Here  we  left  our  clothes,  and 
wrapped  in  immense  bath  towels,  we  stepped  down  from 
the  platform  on  clogs,  and  walked  along  to  the  inner  door. 
Katrina,  Mrs.  H.'s  woman,  was  in  her  element,  and  was 
greatly  amused  at  my  wonder  at  things  and  beings  around 
me.     The  heat  was  great  in  the  room  \^e  entered,  and  we 
were   immediately   in    a  profuse   perspiration.     Here  the 
people  were  yelling  and  screaming,  and  the  awful  din,  to- 
gether with  the  heat,  made  my  brain  swim.     But  we  had 
engaged  a  private  room,  and   this  was  hotter  still.     The 
floor  was  of  marble,  and  the  water  flowed  over  it.     I  ran 
for  the  cold  water,  and  held  it  to  my  face,  as  H.  had  told 
me  to'do,  and  then  I  was  able  to  bear  the  heat,  which  was 
at   first   insupportable.     The  room    is    perhaps    ten    feet 
square,  lighted  from  above,  all  of  marble,  and  not  a  parti- 
cle of  wood  work  any  where  about  it.     There   are  two 
marble  basins   raised   from  the  floor,  over  which  are  two 
^top-cdck^,    one  of  warm  and  the   other  of  cold   water. 
These   are   kept  running  nearly  all  the  time,  so   that  the 
basins   overflow.     Here  we  were  nearly  drowned   in  the 
hands  of  the   bath  woman,  w^hile  sitting  on  the  floor.     I 
should  think  we  remained  in  two  hours.     Then  a  dry  cov- 
ering was  wrapped  around  us,  and  we  went  out  gradually 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  299 

into  the  outer  room.  Here  we  remained  until  quite  dry, 
and  sufficiently  cool  to  go  home.  It  makes  one  quite 
thirsty,  and  while  waiting  to  dress,  we  sent  out  for  some 
oranges,  which  we  found  grateful  and  refreshing  to  us. 
The  people  of  the  country  enjoy  the  bath  mightily,  and 
would  stay  in  all  day  if  they  could. 

Our  first  Sabbath  passed  very  pleasantly.  There  is  a 
little  garden  attached  to  Mr.  H.'s  residence,  at  the  foot  of 
which,  on  a  little  seat,  H.  and  I  took  our  barley  coffee, 
which  Nicoli,  our  man,  prepared  for  us.  We  read  Harris' 
*  Great  Teacher,'  till  church  time,  and  then  went  to  attend 
service  at  Mr.  D.'s.  The  room,  though  it  does  not  look 
much  like  a  chapel,  answers  very  well.  It  has  merely 
seats,  and  holds  about  fifty  persons.  Mr.  T.,  of  the  Syrian 
mission,  who  had  come  in  company  with  us  from  Smyrna, 
preached.  H.  went  at  two  and  a  half,  to  the  Turkish  ser- 
vice for  the  Armenians  ;  and  we  all  went  at  four,  to  the 
Bible  class,  at  Mr.  G.'s,  for  old  and  young.  As  I  looked 
round  upon  the  children,  I  thought  it  would  be  a  good 
thing  to  separate  them  from  it,  and  have  them  taught  by 
themselves.  I  had  written  thus  far,  when  I  spoke  to  Mrs. 
D  and  Mr.  C,  who  was  present,  about  it;  and  we  all 
agreed  that  it  was  best  to  do  so,  if  practicable — and  I,  re- 
membering my  dear  class  in  America,  spoke  my  thoughts 
right  out,  and  said  I  should  love  to  teach  them.*  The 
tears  came  into  Mrs,  D.'s  eyes,  and  she  thanked  me  as  if 
her  heart  was  too  full  to  speak.  I  wanted  to  put  my  arms 
round  her  neck,  for  I  knew  then  we  should  sympathize — 

*  In  reference  to  this  desire  of  hers,  to  collect  the  children  of  the 
Mission  families  into  a  Sabbath  School  class,  and  also  the  interest 
she  felt  in  teaching  them  after  the  class  was  organized,  her  husband 
remarks. — "  She  could  not  rest  without  some  such  means  of  useful- 
ness. Besides,  she  would  often  say  she  was  doing  nothing,  and 
though  she  could  do  but  little,  yet  that  little  she  must  accomplish." 


300  MI^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  so  we  have  been  talking  about  it,  and  I  hope  we  shall 
succeed. 

On  Friday,  the  7th  of  June,  we  went  to  a  little  village 
called  Belgrade,  about  two  and  a  half  hours  from  the  city. 
G.'s*  has  taken  a  house  there  for  a  short  time,  and  he  invi- 
ted us  to  go  and  occupy  it.  Our  friends  thought  it  would 
be  best  for  us  to  go ;  so  we  took  beds,  bedding,  &c.,  and 
Nicoli  to  cook,  and  kept  house  there  very  well.  It  is  a 
lovely,  quiet  retreat,  in  the  midst  of  a  forest,  and  beautiful 
sheets  of  water  around.  The  whole  is  so  like  the  deep 
green  quiet  American  scenery,  that  1  almost  imagined  my- 
self back  in  my  dear  home.  There  is  just  the  same  look 
to  the  trees,  and  soft  shadows  in  the  water,  and  the  cattle 
feed  quietly  in  the  green  meadow  land. 

Our  ride  was  very  fine,  in  a  Frank  carriage,  but  the  road 
would  be  thought  impassable  in  America.  The  abrupt 
declivities  are  a  peculiar  feature  of  these  countries.  Even 
where  the  hills  are  not  high,  they  are  extremely  steep. 
At  first  our  ride  was  over  a  barren  road,  but  the  view  from 
it  was  magnificent.  Occasionally  a  peep  at  the  Bospho- 
rus,  with  its  green  banks  and  villages.  We  were  on  high 
land.  Mount  Olympus,  so  shadowy,  reared  its  snowy 
heights,  far  away  to  the  south.  There  is  something  inde- 
scribably beautiful  in  distant  and  snowy  mountain  land. 
Then  before  us  we  caught  a  glimpse  of  the  stormy  Euxine, 
but  its  waters  stretched  far  away  in  the  calm  sunshine, 
quiet  and  blue. 

We  lived  quite  rurally  at  Belgrade.  We  read,  studied 
Armenian,  rambled  in  the  woods,  picked  wild  strawber- 
ries, and  found  pretty  sweet-briar  roses,  while  the  nightin- 
gales sang  all  night.  The  note  of  these  little  birds  is  the 
most  liquid  music  I  ever  heard.     At  first,  I  thought  it  not 

*  The  brother  of  Mr.  V.  L. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  301 

SO  plaintive  as  I  had  imagined  ;  and  was  surprised  to  find 
it  had  so  many  merry  notes  ;  but  it  is  a  most  tender  and 
loving  sound,  increasing  in  meaning,  the  more  it  is  heard, 
and  one  beauty  of  their  song  is,  they  choose  the  most  quiet 
and  shady  places,  to  pour  forth  their  warblings.  That 
little  village  is  full  of  them  ;  and  among  the  dark  cypresses 
in  the  large  burying  ground  at  Pera,  they  sing. 

Our  Sabbaths  at  Belgrade,  were  not  as  pleasant  as  other 
days,  for  that  was  a  day  of  frolic,  and  there  were  many  gay 
people  there.  But  we  were  very  quiet.  It  was  a  sweet 
place  for  thought,  and  we  improved  it. 

Our  last  Saturday  at  Belgrade,  we  rose  early  and  went 
on  horseback  to  the  Black  Sea,  about  an  hour  and  a  half 
distant.  I  should  never  think  of  going  over  such  a  road 
in  America.  We  went  down  places  so  steep,  that  I  nearly 
tipped  off,  but  the  others  took  it  so  quietly,  I  found  it  was 
nothing  uncommon.  We  rode  to  a  lonely  village,  where 
it  seems  a  Frank  lady  is  a  rare  sight,  and  then  we  went  on 
to  the  sea,  where  there  is  a  small  Turkish  hamlet.  The 
village  is  built  of  the  pieces  of  wrecked  vessels,  for  the 
sudden  storms  and  the  fogs,  are  fatal  to  many  vessels  every 
year.  There  is  what  is  called  a  false  entrance  to  the  Bos- 
phorus,  by  which  many  are  wrecked.  The  Black  Sea 
looked  very  finely  beneath  a  glorious  sky.  We  gathered 
shells  on  its  yellow  beach.  When  we  returned,  we  rode 
just  beyond  the  village,  and  dismounted,  to  eat  our  bread 
and  cheese.  While  there,  I  almost  doubted  my  personal 
identity — so  recently  a  school  girl,  rambling  amidst  the 
quiet  groves  and  valleys  of  dear  New  England,  now  gath- 
ering shells,  and  eating  bread  and  cheese  on  the  shores  of 
the  Black  Sea." 

26 


302  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Extracts  from  a  Letter  to  her  Father. 

Belgrade^  near  Constantinnple,  June  \7th. 

"  My  dear,  beloved  father. — You  will  have  been  in  our 
own  home  some  weeks  I  presume,  before  this  reaches  you. 
I  wish  I  could  have  sent  a  letter  to  welcome  you  on  your 
arrival  ;  but  our  removal  here  has  made  it  impossible  for 
me  to  write  sooner,  and  now  1  have  so  much  to  say,  I 
hardly  know  where  to  begin. 

Your  ardently  expected  letter  from  Trieste,  reached  us 
on  the  third  of  this  month,  and  it  did  make  me  very  sad. 
Dear  father,  will  not  Christ  be  your  comforter?  Will  not 
He  be  more  to  you  than  any  thing  else  ^  Will  He  not 
comfort  us  all  in  this  separation,  and  give  us  the  joy  of 
knowing  that  it  is  all  for  His  glory  .?  I  ask  myself,  why 
my  dear  father,  why  should  you  love  me  so  !  If  I  were 
better,  if  1  had  really  been  the  child  that  I  ought  to  have 
been,  then  I  should  not  wonder  as  I  now  do.  But  it  makes 
me  very  humble  to  know  that  my  dear  parents  do  love  me 
so,  even  with  all  my  faults,  and  1  continually  pray  God  to 
make  me  worthy  of  your  love. 

And  now  you  are  once  more  to  see  your  home,  and  be- 
fore my  letter  comes,  you  will  have  seen  our  house  beneath 
the  cherry  trees,  and  the  good  old  church  ;  and  the  organ, 
and  the  bell  will  have  sounded — oh,  how  many  thoughts 
come  crowding  into  my  mind.  I,  too,  almost  feel  as  if  I 
were  seeing  them  again.  My  heart  leaps  to  think  you  will 
be  there.     I  can  see  them  all. 

That  sad  afternoon  when  you  left,  mamma  and  Adeline 
came  to  our  house,  and  we  went  home  with  them  imme- 
diately, and  H.  and  I  sat  alone  in  the  large  parlor,  watch- 
ing the  steamer.  The  tears  come  so  fast  while  I  think 
about  it,  it  almost  stops  my  writing.     But  your  letter,  dear 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  203 

father,  tells  me  you  are  not  sorry  I  have  come  to  dwell  on 
missionary  ground. 

The  day  we  left  Smyrna,  we  did  feel  sad  ;  but  we  had  a 
fine  voyage,  and  enjoyed  the  glorious  view  exceedingly. 
And  now  H.  and  1  are  separated  from  both  our  homes,  and 
from  the  dear  friends  and  companions  of  our  early  years  ; 
but  God  is  with  us,  and  he  will  be  our  Father,  and  will  be 
the  Father  of  all  our  dear  circle.  We  have  appointed  sep- 
arate evenings  to  pray  for  our  friends — Monday  for  mis- 
sions, and  our  missionary  friends. — Tuesday,  for  our  Smyr- 
na friends Wednesday,  for  our   American  friends,  and 

Thursday  evening  for  our  American  relatives — you,  and 
dear  mamma,  E.  and  aunt  M.'s  family — Friday  is  for  our 
own  work.  We  have  Thursday  for  you,  because  it  is  the 
evening  of  your  lecture.  These  are  our  stated  times  ;  but 
besides  these,  do  not  our  hearts  daily  and  continually  as- 
cend to  God  for  you  ?  It  is  a  great  comfort  to  me  that  I 
remember  with  such  minute  distinctness,  every  thing  about 
my  home  There  is  a  freshness  about  every  thing  in  the 
past,  a  vividness  at  times  overwhelming.  I  can  call  up 
day  after  day,  hour  after  hour,  with  all  its  attending  events, 
conversations,  looks  and  emotions.  Almost  every  time  I  lie 
down,  some  scene  in  Hartford  rifles  to  memory — either  the 
chaise  is  just  ready,  and  I  ride  down  by  the  South  church 
with  you  ;  or  I  am  sitting  with  my  dear  mother  in  her  own 
room,  talking  of  the  future,  v/hich  is  now  present.  Often, 
often,  when  you  will  think  of  me  as  being  interested  in 
some  scene  in  my  new  home,  if  you  could  see  our  spirit, 
you  would  find  that  both  H.  and  I  had  come  to  visit 
you." 


304  ^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Journal. 

On  Tuesday  the  18th  of  June,  we  returned  to  the  city, 
and  H.  corameuced  looking  for  a  house.  In  a  few  days 
he  obtained  a  very  nice  stone  house,  and  the  keys  were 
given  us.  While  our  house  was  being  prepared  for  us,  we 
went  to  Bebec,  where  we  had  been  invited  to  spend  a  few 
days.  The  usual  way  to  Bebec  is  by  water,  and  I  wish 
my  dear  mother  could  for  once  enjoy  the  magnificent  Bos- 
phorus.  You  must  imagine  it  in  all  its  summer  robing^, — 
the  fairy  palaces  in  the  midst  of  green  trees.  We  sailed 
slowly  up  those  smooth  summer  waters,  while  the  boats 
of  many  Pachas  were  gliding  swiftly  by  us;  for  it  was  just 
the  hour  that  they  return  to  their  palaces.  I  admire  these 
little  kaiques  ;  and  the  dress  of  the  boatmen,  which  is  quite 
picturesque.  They  wear  only  full  trowsers,  and  shirts  of 
white  raw  silk,  with  very  large  straight  sleeves.  But  we 
must  sit  quite  still  to  keep  them  from  tipping  over.  I 
found  it  difficult  to  do  this  at  first.  We  were  about  an 
hour  in  our  sail,  and  then  landed  under  the  shade  of  some 
magnificent  trees,  near  the  Sultan's  kiosque.  These 
kiosques,  which  are  found  in  every  pretty  place,  and  wher- 
ever there  is  a  fine  view,  add  much  to  the  scenery  of  the 
Bosphorus. 

We  climbed  up  the  hill  till  we  reached  the  house,  where 
Mrs.  H.'s  two  sweet  little  girls  met  us  at  the  gate,  with 
their  nurse.  The  house  is  quite  romantic — large,  airy 
rooms,  and  marble  basins  with  curiously  carved  stoppers ; 
and  though  a  gloomy  looking  building  outside,  it  is  mag- 
nificent within.  The  Greeks  build  their  houses  gloomily 
outside  so  as  not  to  attract  the  notice  of  the  Turks. 

On  Friday  evening  we  were  informed  that  we  had  lost 
our  house.  There  had  been  some  fraud  practiced.  It  had 
been  previously  rented  for  three  years,   but  the   owner, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  305 

fearing  he  should  lose  the  rent,  had  stealthily  obtained  the 
keys  and  determined  to  rent  it  again.  These  instances  of 
deceit  are  very  common  here.  H.  went  early  on  Saturday 
to  the  city,  to  see  about  our  house.  It  was  indeed  gone. 
We  felt  very  sorry  to  lose  it,  but  when  the  keys  were  de- 
manded we  of  course  gave  them  up. 

On  Saturday  a  flock  of  Armenian  ladies  and  gentlemen 
called  on  us,  many  of  whom  were  deeply  interested  in  re- 
ligion. Mr.  H.  conversed,  and  read,  and  prayed  with 
them.  Our  Sabbath  at  Bebec  was  quite  pleasant.  We 
had  service  in  the  afternoon.  Monday  evening  was  spent 
in  returning  the  call  of  the  Armenians,  and  H.,  who  could 
understand  them,  was  delighted  with  their  conversation 
On  Tuesday  evening  we  had  a  beautiful  walk  to  the  hill 
above  Mr.  H.'s  house.  The  view  was  indescribably  fine — 
the  castles  of  Europe  and  Asia,  on  the  Bosphorus,  in  full 
sight.  Our  thoughts  were  back  in  other  days.  This  is 
indeed  the  land  where  the  past  speaks.  We  found  that 
Mr.  C,  American  Minister  at  Constantinople,  intended 
celebrating  the  Fourth  of  July,  and  that  we  were  to  unite 
in  it. 

On  Wednesday,  when  we  returned  to  the  city,  we  found 
our  friends  busily  engaged,  preparing  for  the  celebration. 
An  American  steamer,  in  the  Turkish  service,  had  been 
engaged  to  take  us  up  to  the  Black  Sea.  The  Fourth  of 
July  was  a  glorious  day  and  very  warm.  We  ladies  and 
the  children  rode  to  the  steamer  in  a  Turkish  arabar,  or 
carriage,  all  the  dogs  in  the  street  making  a  terrible  din  at 
us,  while  we  were  shaken  nearly  to  pieces  by  the  rough 
pavements.  Our  party  consisted  of  Mr.  C.  and  his  house- 
hold, the  mission  families,  and  a  few  others  under  Ameri- 
can protection.  A  fine  band  had  been  engaged,  and  with 
our  American  flag  we  made  something  of  a  sensation  as 
we  sailed  up  the  Bosphorus.  My  heart  was  back  in  my 
26* 


306  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

native  country,  and  many  silent  prayers  went  up,  by  many 
wanderers  that  day.  Our  view  of  the  Bosphorus  from  the 
steamer  is  far  better  than  from  a  small  kaique.  How  like 
fairy  land  seemed  those  glistening  palaces  and  green  trees ! 
We  were  all  animation  on  board.  The  company  at  Bebec 
waited  for  us,  and  came  off  in  boats  to  the  steamer. 

As  we  began  to  go  into  the  Black  Sea,  some  of  the  ladies 
felt  a  little  sick  ;  so  they  immediately  put  back  and  anch- 
ored in  the  Bosphorus,  just  under  the  ruins  of  an  old 
Genoese  castle  covered  with  creeping  vines,  where  we 
dined.  The  Declaration  of  Independence  was  read  by  Mr. 
D.,  then  we  sang  *  America,'  and  Mr.  G.  offered  a  prayep. 
Our  music  was  very  fine,  a  band  of  Hungarians ;  our  din- 
ner, too,  was  nice,  and  when  we  toasted  the  American 
Minister  at  Constantinople,  Mr.  C.  immediately  rose  and 
proposed  the  American  3Iinisters  at  Constantinople.  Ev- 
ery thing  went  off  pleasantly.  We  saluted  the  French 
Ambassador,  as  we  passed  his  palace,  by  playing  the  Mar- 
seilles Hymn,  and  he  returned  the  salute  by  lowering  his 
flag  and  raising  it  three  times.  We  came  home  in  fine 
spirits  just  at  dark. 

On  the  evening  of  the  10th  of  July,  G — s  came  t«  tell 
us  there  was  an  opportunity  for  us  to  visit  the  Mosques, 
&c.,  if  we  liked.  The  great  things  of  the  city  can  not  be 
seen  without  a  firman,  and  then  every  one  in  the  employ- 
ment of  the  government,  and  keeping  these  places,  must  be 
paid,  so  it  is  too  expensive;  and  the  way  people  go  who 
reside  here  is  under  the  wing  of  some  wealthy  traveller. 
Every  one  does  so,  though  it  seemed  to  me  at  first  half 
mean,  and  yet  as  a  gentleman  would  not  like  to  go  alone, 
and  invites  whom  he  pleases,  it  is  not  considered  so  by  any 
one.  A  Dutch  traveller  was  to  go  on  Thursday,  (the  11th 
of  July,)  and  G.  brought  us  an  invitation. 

In  the  morning  we  assembled  at  the  Dutch  embassy, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  307 


and  a  large  party  started  to  walk  across  the  bridge  to  the 
city.  The  other  side  we  found  carriages,  and  all  started 
en  masse  for  sight  seeing.  At  the  first  Mosque  where  we 
stopped  we  bought  slippers  to  put  on  over  our  shoes,  for 
that  is  the  custom,  and  whenever  we  entered  the  sacred 
place  of  the  Moslems,  we  stooped  to  put  them  on. 

The  mosques,  the  large  ones,  are  surrounded  by  a  paved 
court,  and  we  entered  always  this  immense  court  first,  and 
then  on  one  side  the  door  of  the  mosque  opened.  Outside, 
the  mosques  look  exactly  as  in  pictures,  and  their  myriad 
lamps  are  also  very  well  pictured.  They  are  immense 
structures,  and  the  dome  rises  like  the  vault  of  heaven 
above  the  head.  There  are  curious  stained  windows,  ex- 
ceedingly beautiful,  and  tine  work,  I  think  in  arabesque 
style,  adorns  the  walls.  I  saw  so  many  things  that  day, 
that  I  cannot  describe  them  so  distinctly  as  if  1  had  seen 
only  one.  We  visited  three  beside  St.  Sophia.  All  of 
them  were  very  beautiful,  and  one  had  been  a  church. 
The  mausoleum  and  fountain  of  the  late  Sultan  are  ex- 
ceedingly beautiful.  It  is  a  building  perhaps  fifty  feet  in 
length,  and  the  tomb  of  the  Sultan  is  there,  and  a  large, 
coffin  shaped  structure  rises  over,  with  nodding  plumes  and 
the  Sultan's  cap,  while  its  diamonds  and  heron's  feathers 
told  of  its  royal  owner.  (You  know  the  heron's  feather  is 
worn  only  by  kings.)  A  large  Koran  on  a  silver  stand  lay 
near  by,  and  a  holy  relic,  (a  single  hair  of  Mahomet,)  of 
the  Prophet,  was  shrined  in  a  silver  case  by  its  side.  A 
garden  adorned  with  carnations  and  roses  threw  its  fra- 
grance around  the  building,  and  a  light  breeze  lifted  the 
long  curtains  of  the  windows  and  brought  fresh  air  into  this 
incensed  room  of  the  dead.  His  childrens'  tombs  lying 
around  him,  were  recognized  by  the  shortness  of  the  sable 
structure  above  them.  Other  relatives  were  also  buried 
there.     Oh,  it  was  a  sad  room,  though  wreaths  of  snowy 


308  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

flowers  were  worked  around  the  walls  and  on  the  ceiling 
above.  There  was  no  gleam  of  religion  to  brighten  its 
gloom.  But  I  am  hastening  to  take  you  to  the  spot  which 
interested  me  most.  We  stopped  a  short  time  in  a  coffee- 
house, and  then  entered  the  old  and  massive  structure  of 
St.  Sophia.  It  is  impossible  to  describe  it.  It  is  unlike 
any  thing  I  had  ever  seen  or  imagined,  and  its  effect  is 
also  peculiar.  How  I  wish  I  could  transport  you  to  its 
ancient  galleries,  deserted  now  to  the  doves  and  swallows. 
How  I  wish  you  could  have  sat  with  me  far  above  the 
kneeling  company  of  turbaned  heads,  from  whose  midst 
came  up  to  my  lonely  seat  a  confused  murmuring,  as  they 
repeated  their  prayers.  It  is  a  place  where  the  mind 
wanders  far  back  to  the  early  days  of  the  church,  when 
even  then,  the  light  of  pure  religion  was  becoming  extinct 
amidst  the  gloom  of  cloistered  piles,  and  the  drapery  of  its 
thousand  vain  and  sinful  rites.  The  mind  wanders  through 
the  days  of  the  Greek  empire,  and  follows  its  decline  to  the 
hour  when  the  turban  and  scymetar  gained  admission  into 
this  consecrated  pile,  before  whom  the  priest  and  the  Host 
forever  fled,  and  gave  place  to  the  worship  of  the  false  pro- 
phet, perhaps  less  insulting  to  the  Majesty  of  Heaven,  than 
that  which  preceded  it. 

Pictures  and  images  are  forbidden  by  the  Koran,  and 
those  which  could  not  be  taken  down  were  covered  by 
large  cloths  which  bore  the  name  of  God,  or  a  sentence 
from  the  holy  book  of  the  Moslems.  But  some  Cherubim 
still  remain,  being  too  high  to  be  reached.  The  dome  is 
a  dizzy  height  above  the  marble  -pavement,  and  its  height 
seemed  hardly  diminshed,  when  we  had  ascended  to  the 
first  gallery,  which  is  itself  higher  than  the  centre  of  our 
church  ceiling.  There  are  two  smaller  galleries  above 
which  we  did  not  ascend.  As  I  said  before,  these  galle- 
ries are  deserted',  being  visited  only  by  the  curious,  and 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  309 

the  birds  have  liberty  to  roam  freely  through  the  wide  and 
lonely  spaces,  finding  an  easy  egress  through  the  deep,  but 
broken  and  ivy  covered  w^indows.  While  our  company 
lingered  on  one  side,  H.  and  I  passed  around  to  another 
part  of  the  gallery,  where  there  is  a  curious  old  doorway, 
now  filled  up  with  stone  and  mortar.  It  is  said  that  when 
the  Turks  rushed  into  the  church,  the  last  priest  escaped 
through  this  door  with  the  Host,  and  that  one  of  the  first 
signs  of  the  fall  of  the  Turkish  empire,  and  the  overthrow 
of  Constantinople,  will  be  the  returning  of  this  very  priest 
through  this  doorway.  The  Turks  tell  this,  and  say  that 
after  his  escape  the  door  was  supernaturally  closed.  By 
the  time  our  party  came  round  we  were  ready  to  return, 
and  then  we  enjoyed  a  long  time  of  silent  sitting,  looking 
down  on  groups  of  worshippers  beneath,  to  whom  some 
readers  were  delivering  instruction.  Immense  pillars  sup- 
port the  building,  of  curious  and  beautiful  marble,  I  think 
principally  porphyry.  The  galleries  themselves  are  large 
enough  for  a  church  on  each  side,  and  the  idea  of  immen- 
sity^ and  massiveness,  and  antiquity^  fill  the  mind  at  every 
glance.  Just  before  descending  I  espied  an  ivy  branch  I 
could  reach,  and  hastily  gathering  a  few  leaves  we  pre- 
pared to  go  down.  This  descent  is  a  very  curious  one. 
Perhaps  other  churches  which  father  may  have  seen  are 
arranged  in  like  manner.  We  did  not  go  down  by  stairs, 
but  by  solid  mason  work,  winding  round  and  round  till  we 
reached  the  bottom,  and  seeming  like  the  pathway  of  a 
cavern,  lighted  occasionally  by  small  windows  in  the 
deep  walls. 

We  then  visited  the  Turkish  mint,  and  an  old  church 
which  has  been  converted  into  an  armory,  and  where  an- 
cient armor  is  exhibited  ;  and  then  spent  the  remainder  of 
the  day  amongst  the  buildings  and  grounds  of  Seraglio 
Point.     Here  every  spot  is   associated  in  the  mind  with 


310  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

assassination,  murder,  and  treachery.  You  know,  perhaps, 
the  Sultans  avoid  this  place  now,  so  many  have  been 
killed  there,  and  consequently  many  parts  go  to  decay. 
The  gardens  are  in  European  style,  and  the  rooms  are  fur- 
nished in  half  European,  half  Turkish  style  ;  and  to  my 
eye,  which  has  seen  nothing  of  royalty  before,  it  all 
seemed  very  fine  and  full  of  luxury.  There  were  beauti- 
ful baths  and  lovely  kiosques.  These  latter  are  little 
buildings  with  light  summer  rooms,  beautifully  furnished? 
standing  on  a  place  which  commands  a  fine  view.  They 
are  erected  all  along  the  Bosphorus,  and  wherever  there  is 
a  good  view  in  the  country,  and  the  Sultan  visits  one  and 
another,  as  suits  his  fancy.  They  are  little  palaces.  We 
were  shown  one  lovely  room,  and  as  it  was  a  very  warm 
day,  we  could  appreciate  the  luxury  which  the  Sultan  en- 
joyed. It  was  in  a  part  of  the  buildings  which  have  been 
recently  erected,  and  which  are  quite  new  compared  with 
the  rest.  We  entered  a  room  the  centre  of  which  was 
occupied  by  a  marble  basin  filled  with  water  and  surround- 
ing a  fountain  which  threw  out  lovely  jets.  A  profusion 
of  beautiful  flowers  were  placed  in  bunches  in  the  basin, 
and  by  the  sides  of  the  room,  and  it  was  arranged  so  that 
jets  of  water  spouted  from  marble  fountains  from  the  sides 
of  the  wall,  and  fell  into  the  basin  where  the  flowers  stood, 
keeping  them  fresh  and  fragrant.  Gold  fish  were  swim- 
ming in  the  waters,  and  imprisoned  birds  warbled  sweet 
music,  and  we,  overcome  by  fatigue,  sank  down  on  the 
softly  cushioned  chairs,  and  low  carpets,  which  covered  a 
raised  floor  on  one  side.  It  was  a  fairy  room.  Our  ca- 
vass,  (Turkish  soldier  or  guide,)  picked  some  of  the  car- 
nations and  distributed  them.  Mine  are  pressed  for  you  ; 
and  on  coming  out,  he  told  us  to  pluck  some  laurel  which 
grew  in  the  garden. 

We  passed  through  many  long  corridors,  and  room  after 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  311 

room  of  the  Harem,  and  saw  where  the  poor  prisoners 
lived.  Every  window  was  closely  latticed,  and  the  outer 
world  is  only  seen  through  their  prison  bars.  But  they 
are  said  to  be  happy,  because  they  know  nothing  else,  and 
they  would  be  frightened  to  be  let  loose  into  the  world. 

When  we  were  going  through  these  rooms,  we  had  be- 
come so  fatigued  that  we  sank  down  any  where,  and  you 
would  have  been  amused  to  have  seen  how  worn  out  we 
were.  It  is  my  only  day  at  sight-seeing,  and  I  think  it 
enough  to  go  once  in  one's  life  on  such  a  pilgrimage  as  we 
went. 

Constantinople,  August  \st. 
My  dear  precious  parents,  H.  and  I  are  living  over  the 
events  of  the  past  year.  Reckoning  by  the  days  of  the 
week,  to-day  was  H.'s  last  day  on  the  water.  Just  a  year 
ago  to-night  he  stepped  on  shore  at  Boston.  Oh,  with 
what  vividness  those  scenes  come  up  to  me  now.  We 
linger  with  delight  and  regret  over  those  few  lovely  days 
into  which  so  much  oi  deep^  deep  interest  was  crowded. 
Our  hearts  are  celebrating  them  now,  and  thinking  of  all 
God's  mercies.  Do  not  you  too  think  of  them,  my  dear 
parents,  and  are  you  not  glad  that  we  were  permitted  to 
come  and  work  here  together  for  our  Father  in  Heaven  .? 
We  have  been  thinking  which  of  us  will  die  first,  and  for 
H.*ssake  I  could  hope  it  might  be  he,  but  oh,  it  would  be 
hard.  I  wish  we  might  die  together.  But  God  knows 
best.  Yes,  God  does  know  best ;  and  pray  that  we  may 
be  ready  for  his  holy  will.  Dear  father,  dear  mother,  we 
shall  all  meet  in  Heaven.  H.  has  been  sweetly  comfort- 
ing me  now,  for  he  says  Christ  will  reward  you  for  your 
sacrifice  in  His  cause,  even  in  this  life.  He  will  make  it 
up  to  you.  O,  will  he  not  ?  It  grows  dark,  and  at  eight 
o'clock  we  go  to  meeting ;  and  bye  and  bye,  when  we  are 


312  ^naS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

asleep,  dear  father  will  go  to  the  Lecture  room  and  preach 
one  of  his  sweet  sermons. 

Letter  from  Mrs.  V.  L. 

Makry-lceuy^  near  Constantinople, August  (jth. 

I  received  dear  mamma's  letter  dated  June  29th  yester- 
day, and  she  says  "  I  shall  not  write  again  till  your  father 
comes,"  and  perhaps  only  three  or  four  days  after  she  said 
that,  dear  father  did  reach  home  ;  and  now  are  your  four 
eyes  looking  together  on  this  page.  Imagine  my  face 
above  it,  with  my  blue  muslin  dress  on;  (the  same  I  wore 
this  very  day  last  year,  counting  by  the  days  of  the  week,) 
and  my  black  velvet  ribbon  around  my  neck,  confined  by 
my  pin,  my  pretty  wedding  pin,  the  dearest  part  of  which 
to  me  is  the  hair  of  my  dear  brothers  and  sisters  within  it, 
and  the  date  on  its  back  ;  yes,  infinitely  more  precious  than 
gold  or  pearls  are  these.  And  now  father  don't  put  on  a 
long  face  because  I  speak  of  my  dress.  I  want  you  should 
know  that  I  look  just  as  I  used  to  ;  only  I  do  believe  in 
much  better  health  than  last  summer  at  home.  So  far  the 
climate  suits  me  admirably.  I  am  telling  you  the  truth 
when  I  say  I  have  not  minded  the  heat  at  all. 

The  sun  has  set,  and  the  twilight  shadows  are  gathering 
over  the  Marmora,  but  I  must  tell  you  we  have  come  to  a 
little  village  on  the  sea,  a  short  distance  below  the  city 
walls,  and  are  enjoying  ourselves  very  much.  Most  of  the 
families  leave  the  city  in  the  warm  weather.  This  is  a 
fine  place  for  sea  bathing,  and  has  the  advantage  of  being 
unfashionable,  there  being  scarcely  any  Frank  families 
here.  There  is  one  English  Methodist  family,  and  some 
evangelical  Armenians ;  so  we  can  be  useful.  We  have 
hired  a  small  house  for  a  short  time,  and  have  brought  a 
little  furniture  with  us,  and  live  very  pleasantly,  though 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  313 

in  very  rural  style.  There  are  only  open  gardens,  or  rather 
cultivated  grounds,  filled  with  fig  trees,  between  us  and 
the  sea.  The  blue  waters  of  the  Marnmora  roll  beyond  the 
gardens,  and  the  Princes  Islands,  in  their  beautiful  rose 
and  violet  light,  sleep  in  the  sea  beneath  this  glorious  sum- 
mer sky.  Then  beyond  rise  the  heights  of  Asia,  blue  and 
dim,  arid  farther  still  the  snowy  summits  of  beautiful,  shad- 
owy Olympus.  Dear  father,  you  know  just  how  it  looks, 
only  imagine  it  summer.  A  lonely  owl  is  uttering  his 
night  cry,  and  I  must  wait  till  the  lights  are  brought.  I 
think  we  will  step  over  and  see  Mrs.  Hague.  We  have 
just  been  in  and  while  there  H.  prayed  with  the  family. 
Mr.  Hague  has  had  a  stroke  of  the  sun,  but  is  better  this 
evening.  I  hope  he  will  soon  be  well.  He  is  an  intelli- 
gent man,  an  engineer,  and  occupies  quite  an  important 
place  over  all  the  Sultan's  factories.  It  is  pleasant  to 
have  him  a  Christian.  Father,  you  know  the  pious  fami- 
lies who  were  brought  from  England  to  establish  them- 
selves in  Nicomedia.  It  is  over  this  company  that  Mr. 
H.  is  placed. 

The  Saturday  after  our  visit  to  the  mosques,  July  ISth? 
we  went  to  our  house  and  arranged  our  things,  and  then 
went  back  to  Mr.  Dwight's  and  passed  the  Sabbath.  My 
little  class  met  the  first  time  that  morning,  but  we  only 
organized  it,  William,  Bell,  and  Mary  Goodell,and  James, 
William  and  Charles  Dwight.  I  explained  to  them  how 
I  wished  them  to  study.  The  Monday  following  we  went 
into  our  new  house  to  reside,  and  there  at  first  we  did  feel 
lonely,  with  our  tall  house  and  nothing  of  nature,  and  no 
near  friend  to  consult  about  any  thing. 

Journal. 

August  9th.     These  are  our  happiest  days  since  we  left 
Smyrna,  for  we  are  quiet  in  the  midst  of  nature,  away 
27 


314  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

from  fashion,  and  not  away  from  usefulness.  It  is  hard  to 
live  shut  out  from  nature,  but  we  must  become  willing,  for 
our  house  in  Pera  is  sadly  in  want  of  natural  scenery.  I 
am  sure  this  is  one  great  reason  we  have  been  homesick 
for  Smyrna.  Oh,  we  have  pined  for  the  blue  sea,  and  the 
violet  colored  mountains ;  but  now  we  rejoice  in  a  little 
season  for  communion  with  nature,  and  our  hearts  are  all 
the  better  for  it. 

Tuesday  evening,  ISth.  While  I  am  writing,  three  Ar- 
menian youths  sit  round  our  table,  reading  the  Scriptures 
with  H.  It  is  delightful  to  be  engaged  for  these  interesting 
people.  A  few  days  since  one  of  the  Armenian  brethren 
from  Constantinople  came  to  call  on  us,  and  we  had  a  de- 
lightful Christian  interview.  After  reading  a  chapter  in 
the  Armeno  Turkish  Testament,  H.  prayed  in  English,  and 
the  Armenian  in  Turkish.  After  these  young  men  have 
been  here  reading  and  conversing  with  H.  it  makes  us 
happy  to  know  that  it  has  been  of  use  to  them. 

litk.  It  is  nearly  twelve  o'clock  and  the  sunshine 
covers  every  thing  around  ;  trees,  water,  islands  and  faint 
snowy  clouds,  all  sleep  in  the  flood  of  light.  Noon  is  very 
still  in  these  climates.  The  *'  stilly  noon"  is  expressive 
here.  I  have  had  a  grand  study  over  my  Armenian  all 
the  morning,  and  now  I  have  come  to  have  a  little  talk 
with  my  dear  parents.  I  am  sitting  on  our  low  sofa 
against  the  window,  and  am  refreshed  every  moment  by 
the  lovely  prospect.  A  faint  breeze  is  stirring,  and  the 
sails  on  the  water  glide  almost  imperceptibly  on  their 
course.  In  the  chimney  of  an  adjacent  house  is  a  hawk's 
nest,  and  immense,  vulture  like  hawks  are  coming  occa- 
sionally and  lighting  there  for  a  moment,  uttering  a  pecu- 
liar kind  of  cry,  something  like  a  querulous  complaint.    So 


IMRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  315 


far  the  Armenian  is  very  simple.  Strange  to  say,  we  do 
not  find  its  grammar  hard.  It  is  by  no  means  a  complica- 
ted language.  The  only  real  difficulty  is  in  its  long  words. 
But  it  is  amusingly  uncouth.  When  I  took  up  the  Greek 
grammar,  it  troubled  me  very  much,  and  I  have  not  yet 
mastered  its  everlasting  declensions  ;  but  the  Armenian 
are  very  simple,  and  easily  learned,  and  there  is  a  uniform- 
ity which  renders  them  easily  remembered  also.  Mr. 
Riggs  has  printed  a  few  notes  on  modern  Armenian,  and  it 
is  these  I  am  studying.  To-day  I  have  been  learning  the 
ptonouns,  and  I  have  them  all  ready  to  recite.  Heleni 
makes  me  learn  Greek,  and  I  am  happy  to  say  I  learn 
something  of  it  daily.  She  wants  to  learn  to  read,  and  it 
will  be  a  fine  thing  for  me  to  teach  her.  H.  will  bring  me 
a  Greek  spelling  book  the  first  time  he  goes  to  the  city. 
The  women  and  children  here  are  very  kind  and  sociable. 
If  I  only  knew  how  to  speak  Greek,  or  Armenian,  or  Turk- 
ish, I  should  have  a  fine  opportunity  ^f  studying  native 
character. 

In  my  last  journal  which  I  sent  on  the  10th  of  July,  I 
did  not  tell  you  how  worried  I  felt  about  my  piano.  It  had 
been  shipped  at  Smyrna  and  we  were  surprised  at  the  de- 
lay of  the  vessel,  especially  as  it  had  been  south  wind.  I 
prayed  that  I  might  be  willing  to  part  with  it,  for  I  feared 
we  loved  it  too  well.  We  were  about  having  it  insured, 
but  that  very  afternoon  Nicoli  came  to  announce  its  arri- 
val. It  was  brought  up  and  unpacked,  and  found  to  be  in 
fine  order.  How  sweetly  its  tones  sounded  when  I  played 
on  it  with  H.  I  felt  that  it  was  a  blessing  restored  to  me 
by  God,  and  I  prayed  that  it  might  be  all  consecrated  to 
Him,  and  never  used  for  any  wrong  purpose.  I  find  its 
size  and  appearance  surprise  as  well  as  please  every  one 
here,  for  they  are  not  accustomed  to  this  heavy  style  of 
making  pianos. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 


SICKNESS    AND    DEATH. 


August  19^A."  H.  has  gone  to  the  city.  As  I  am  slightly 
ill,  I  could  not  go  with  him,  and  I  have  been  lying  on  the 
sofa  all  day  doing  a  little  sewing,  and  a  little  reading,  and 
finishing  a  note  for  dear  Mrs.  Fitch.  Heleni  came  to  tell 
me  as  soon  as  H.  went  this  morning,  that  "  Chelebee  told 
her  to  take  good  care  of  Cocona,"*  and  she  has  been  most 
of  the  time  sitting  j^y  me,  and  while  sewing  on  the  cover- 
ings for  our  sofa,  she  has  been  teaching  me  Greek  words, 
and  telling  me  a  variety  of  things.  She  talks  about  my 
father  and  mother,  and  wonders  how  we  can  be  separated ; 
and  she  says  often,  '•  by  and  by  we  will  go  to  America." 
Last  evening  I  had  many  thoughts  of  absent  friends,  and 
of  those  who  have  died.  I  read  the  hymns  in  the  little 
book  which  Mrs.  Chester  gave  me,  and  which  belonged  to 
Mrs.  Hovey,  particularly  those  which  were  marked  by  her 
own  hand.  You  remember  the  morning  that  I  left  Hart- 
ford, Mrs.  K.  brought  it  to  me,  and  put  it  into  my  hand  at 
the  boat.  I  thought  much  of  the  past  ;  and  of  the  lovely 
circles  of  which  Mrs.  Hooker  and  Mrs.  Hovey  were  the 
bright  stars.  And  I  thought  how  broken  and  dispersed 
they  are  now  !     And  so  it  must  be  with  every  dear  circle 

*  Father  has  heard  these  names  before,  and  he  must  tell  mamma 
that  they  mean  gentleman  and  lady,  or  master  and  mistress. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  317 

of  aflfectionate  friends.  And  were  this  world  all,  what 
should  we  do  ?  I  pray  God  we  may  be  prepared  for  that 
heavenly  world.  Oh,  how  little  will  the  sorrows  and  the 
joys  of  this  life  appear  when  we  reach  the  other  world. 
How  much  we  need  faith  to  bring  near  eternal  things. 
May  God  bless  us  all  by  his  sweet  presence,  and  prepare 
us  to  enjoy  Him  forever. 

To  Mrs.  Fitch,  August  15th. 

My  dear  aunt  Susan, — My  heart  has  gone  back  to  this 
day  last  year  when  I  was  at  your  house  with  H.,  and  we 
have  been  speaking  to-day  of  commencement  exercises, 
and  wondering  what  now  is  going  on  in  New  Haven.  It 
is  now  ten  o'clock  in  the  evening  here,  and  the  exercises 
in  the  church  must  have  drawn  near  the  interesting  part. 
I  can  bring  it  all  before  my  eyes,  but  I  shall  not  go  to  the 
church  and  the  crowd,  but  remain  with  you  in  your  own 
room,  and  take  my  chair  beside  yours,  as  in  good  old  times. 
Oh  how  sweetly  can  our  thoughts  commune  with  the  dear 
friends  from  whom  we  are  separated.  Do  not  for  a  mo- 
ment imagine  that  the  things  at  home,  or  in  your  house, 
which  is  another  home  to  me,  fade  upon  my  memory,  now 
I  am  so  far  from  them.  1  cannot  bear  to  be  thought  a 
stranger  to  one  thing  in  New  England,  among  those  dear 
scenes  where  my  youth  was  passed.  But  I  am  sitting  to 
talk  with  you,  and  I  want  you  to  know  just  as  much  about 
my  concerns  and  my  dear  friends  as  you  would  like  to 
know.  To  my  dear  mamma  I  tell  all,  and  it  is  a  sweet 
comfort.  She  may  read  you  my  journal,  all  that  she  thinks 
best,  and  then  you  will  know  our  pleasures  and  our  trou- 
bles, and  you  will  understand  about  our  leaving  Smyrna. 
We  are  very  sorry  to  be  separated  from  our  dear  friends 
there  ;  and  although  we  hold  constant  and  sweet  intercourse 
27* 


318  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

with  them  by  writing,  yet  we  miss  their  pleasant  society 
more  than  I  can  tell  you.  There  is  a  home  feeling  about 
Smyrna  that  there  cannot  be  here. 

August  19M.  I  wanted  to  finish  my  note  on  Thursday 
evening  but  it  was  too  late.  To-day  I  am  writing  you  by 
my  window,  where  my  eye  is  continually  feasted  by  a 
most  magnificent  scene.  Distant  views  in  this  country 
surpass  those  in  America,  but  near  views  in  America  are 
the  finest,  because  the  verdure  is  richer  than  here.  From 
our  windows  we  enjoy  a  delightful  view  of  the  Marmora, 
amid  whose  waters  the  Princess  Islands  are  sleeping. 
They  are  bathed  now  in  golden  sunshine,  but  as  the  sun 
descends  they  give  forth  the  most  exquisite  violet  and  rosy 
hues,  which  are  the  charm  of  these  lands.  The  mountains 
of  Asia  rise  dimly  in  the  southern  horizon,  and  far  beyond, 
tower  the  summits  of  Olympus,  white  and  dazzling  as  if 
even  now  its  crests  were  still  frozen.  If  I  had  finished  my 
note  on  Thursday  evening  I  should  have  told  you  that  not- 
withstanding our  love  for  Smyrna,  we  are  happy  here,  for 
our  work  with  the  Armenians  interests  us  more  and  more. 
It  is  delightful  to  see  their  inquiring  minds,  and  when  H. 
has  spent  some  hours  in  conversing  with  them,  he  feels 
very  happy,  for  he  says  their  minds  are  awake  on  every 
subject.  The  evening  1  was  writing  you,  three  young  men 
sat  round  our  table  ;  but  as  they  talk  with  H.  in  Turkish, 
I  could  not  understand  them.  There  is  an  excellent  trans- 
lation of  Young's  Night  Thoughts  into  the  Turkish,  but 
with  the  Armenian  letters.  This  interests  the  Eastern 
mind  very  much,  and  it  was  this  about  which  these  young 
men  talked  with  great  earnestness  and  great  delight  on 
that  evening.  I  want  to  have  my  friends  at  home  regard 
the  people  here  as  real  human  beings,  with  feelings  like 
their  own.     I  am  striving  to  learn  their  language,  and  I  do 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  319 


not  find  it  very  hard.  H.  too  is  studying  it,  but  he  has 
the  advantage  of  me,  for  he  speaks  Turkish;  and  though 
the  Armenians  prefer  their  own  tongue,  yet  they  all  use 
the  Turkish. 

Journal. 

"  Wednesday  evening,  2\st.  When  H.  returned  from 
the  city,  on  Monday  evening,  he  brought  me  the  good 
news  of  the  arrival  of  my  own  dear  father  in  Boston.  My 
heart  is  very  grateful  to  God.     Oh,  that  meeting  !     I  can 

imagine  it  all and  i^jeare  happy,  and  rejoice  too.     I  have 

not  been  well  for  a  day  or  two,  but  I  hope  I  may  soon  be 
better.  I  want  to  trust  myself,  and  all  I  love,  in  the  hands 
of  our  blessed  Saviour.  He  can  bless  us  with  far  more 
than  earth  can  give  ;  but  how  slow  we  are  to  believe  it." 

"  Thursday  evening,  22d.  When  we  have  been  only 
slightly  indisposed,  and  have  become  well  again,  how 
much  it  makes  us  value  the  time  which  our  Father  grants 
to  us.  And  this  is  the  way  I  feel  to-day.  For  the  past 
three  days  I  have  not  felt  like  doing  much,  and  have  lain 
upon  the  sofa ;  but  to-day  I  feel  like  myself  again  ;  and  I 
do  think  it  is  good  to  be  reminded  of  my  frailty,  that  1  may 
learn  to  prize  every  moment  more.  How  thankful  we 
ought  to  be,  my  dear  parents,  that  my  health  has  been  so 
good  since  I  came  to  these  climates.  I  have  not  for  many 
years,  felt  so  well  as  I  have  during  the  past  year.  But  the 
climate  of  Constantinople  is  almost  too  changeable  ;  it  is 
too  much  like  America  in  this  respect.  Were  it  not  for 
this,  it  would  be  a  fine  climate,  for  it  is  very  far  from 
being  oppressively  warm.  I  have  luxuriated  in  the  warm 
weather,  and  have  not  suffered  at  all  from  it.  During  our 
first  week  in  our  house  at  Pera,  we  went  to  the  Bazars  in 


320  M^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Constantinople,  to  get  some  calico  for  covering  our  sofas. 
The  weather  was  cloudy  and  warm,  and  we  became  much 
heated  in  goina;  to  the  water,  but  on  reaching  the  cold, 
damp,  dark  places  near  the  water's  edge,  where  the  sun 
never  shines,  an  almost  death-like  chill  came  over  us, 
which  crossing  the  Horn  only  increased.  These  sudden 
transitions  from  heat  and  profuse  perspiration,  to  cold,  are 
very  bad  for  the  health.  But  we  have  not  to  suffer  them 
often. 

And  now,  my  own  dear  parents,  I  must  close  my  journal 
for  H.  to  tate  to  town.  My  heart  comes  to  you.  Think 
I  am  talking  these  very  words.  May  our  Heavenly 
Father  bless  us,  and  all  whom  we  love.  May  he  give  you 
joy  and  comfort.  Love  to  all.  My  dear  parents,  1  am 
every  both  noio  and  forever, 

Your  own  affectionate  daughter." 

From  Mr,  V.  L.,  informing  her  parents  of  her  illness, 

Makry-kevy^  near  Constantinople,  ) 
August  28th,  1844.       ) 

"  My  dear  parents. — Both  Mar}^  and  myself  thought, 
that  as  the  Vienna  post  leaves  to-day,  I  had  better  write 
by  it,  and  inform  you  that  she  is  sick.  She  has  a  dysen- 
tery, which  came  on  about  a  fortnight  since.  She  has  at 
times  improved  by  the  medicine  given  her,  but  last  night  it 
came  on  with  redoubled  violence,  and  some  of  the  symp- 
toms are  alarming.  I  have  sent  this  morning  for  Dr.  S. 
and  am  sorry  to  be  obliged  to  send  this  to  the  post,  before 
he  can  have  seen  M.,  that  I  might  give  you  his  opinion  of 
her  case. 

M.  has  many  apprehensions  that  it  may  end  badly;  but 
she  appears  beautifully  in  it  all;  no  one  would  suspect 
shat  she  was  at  all  sick.     She  appears  as  calm  and  quiet 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  321 

as  in  the  happiest  moment  of  her  life,  and  I  believe  she  is 
happy.  I  believe  I  have  less  fears  respecting  the  issue, 
yet  I  confess  I  feel  quite  alarmed  by  some  things.  But  I 
bear  it  very  differently  from  her.  The  only  way  I  can  be 
at  all  quiet  in  my  mind,  is  to  be  very  busy,  especially  in 
things  that  concern  her  welfare.  I  cannot  for  a  moment 
bear  the  thought  of  separation ;  but  this  may  be  the  very 
reason  why  I  need  to  be  chastised.  Oh,  that  my  heart 
might  feel  perfectly  at  rest  in  God's  hand,  and  willing  to 
have  him  do  whatever  he  pleases.  I  approve  all  he  does, 
I  love  his  character,  but  the  flesh  is  weak. 

M.  says  to  you,  that  you  must  trust  her  in  God's  hands, 
for  he  will  do  all  which  is  best." 

Extract  of  a  letter  commenced  by  Mary  herself,  but  which  she  never 
finished. 

Makry-lceuy,  Sept.  6th,  1844. 
My  dear  parents. — I  fear  we  distressed  you  too  much, 
by  writing  you  last  week  concerning  my  illness  ;  but  it  is 
my  desire  that  you  should  know  all  about  your  children 
here,  both  in  sickness  and  in  health.  I  am  better  now  you 
see,  and  amuse  myself  in  reading  and  writing ;  but  I  am 
not  yet  well.  I  know  you  are  thinking  much  of  us  these 
days.  Oh,  how  vividly  they  pass  before  our  minds;  and 
yet  I  have  refrained  from  thinking  much  of  them,  for  I  am 
too  weak.  Dear  mamma's  letter,  dated  July  16,  came  on 
our  wedding  day — oh,  what  a  comfort  it  was  to  me !  I 
think  it  is  among  the  best.  One  thing  made  me  sad,  and 
that  is,  the  fear  she  expresses  that  I  shall  lose  my  vivid 
impression  of  home  and  home  faces.  Oh,  wo,  no,  this  never 
can  be.  You  do  not  know  how  my  heart  twines  around 
the  slightest  thing  of  home  ;  how  distinctly  I  remember 
each  minute  thing,  each  minute  circumstance.     You  know 


322  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

that  God  has  blessed  me  with  a  good  memory,  and  now  I 
find  what  a  rich  blessing  it  is.  Do  not  imagine  that  any 
thing  new  or  strange,  can  efface  in  the  slightest  degree  my 
beloved  home  from  my  mind.  It  is  too  deeply  engraven. 
My  heart  itself  would  die  if  the  picture  faded. 

During  this  sickness,  I  have  had  many  thoughts  of 
Christ  and  of  heaven,  and  I  shall  know  why  God  afflicted 
me,  if  1  ever  recover.  It  is  very  hard  to  be  sick,  but  I  do 
try  to  be  patient.  H.  is  a  sweet  nurse — I  hope  he  will  not 
be  worn  out.  Heleni  too  is  very  kind  and  affectionate,  and 
I  have  every  thing  to  be  thankful  for.  As  soon  as  1  have 
strength,  we  shall  return  to  Pera,  for  there  are  many  more 
comforts  there,  than  can  be  obtained  here.  I  have  suf- 
fered so  little  during  my  life,  that  I  cannot  bear  sickness 
with  patience ;  but  I  hope  I  shall  learn. 

O,  my  dear  parents,  do  we  not  pray  for  you  every  day  ? 
Half  my  thoughts  turn, to  prayers  for  you.  Let  us  pre- 
pare for  that  blessed  world,  where  our  Saviour  makes  all 
happy  with  the  light  of  his  countenance.  1  have  not  known 
till  this  sickness,  how  happy  Christ  can  make  our  hearts. 
He  can  satisfy  the  heart. 

I  sometimes  fear  that  this  sickness  is  a  judgment  upon 
me  for  improving  so  little  my  great  blessings.  I  try  to  pray 
that  God  may  make  me  suffer  till  I  feel  right.  But  it  is 
hard  to  pray  this,  and  I  stop  short  with  the  prayer  that  I 
may  be  willing  to  suffer.  God  will  do  all  which  is  best; 
and  in  heaven  we  shall  rejoice  in  ever}^  dispensation. 

It  is  a  great  comfort  to  sit  here  on  the  sofa,  and  write 
you  just  as  1  feel.  I  feel  as  if  I  were  talking  to  you.  And 
are  you  not  thankful,  my  dear  father,  now  that  I  cannot 
talk  as  fully  with  you  as  I  once  did,  that  H.  has  such  a 
deep  experience  in  spiritual  things.  H.  comes  to  say, 
'  What  would  you  like  to  eat?'  And  I  think  of  mamma's 
good  beef  steak  and  bread.     The  bread  here  is  almost 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  323 

always  sour  ;  but  Andrico  is  going  to  hunt  in  Pera  to-mor- 
row, till  he  can  find  some  sweet.  New  England  bread 
and  butter  and  milk,  are  the  things  I  most  feel  the  want  of, 
and  New  England  cleanliness. 

Good  bye,  my  dear  parents,  this  letter  will  not  go  till 
next  Wednesday,  and  before  that  time,  I  trust  we  shall 
have  something  new  to  say." 

To  the  friend  designated  by ,  in  the  former  pages  of  this 

Memoir.—  Extracts, 

Makry-keuy^  Sept.  7th,  1844. 
"  My  dear  H. — I  believe,  that  just  at  present,  I  am  be- 
coming acclimated.  Something  is  making  rather  uncom- 
fortable work  with  my  health,  which  you  know  has  been 
uncommonly  good  since  I  came  to  the  East.  Whether  it 
be  H.'s  love  for  Smyrna,  or  whether  it  be  in  reality  the 
case,  he  is  tempted  to  believe  that  the  climate  of  Constan- 
tinople is  not  as  good  for  me  as  Smyrna.  The  changes 
here  are  too  great.  When  the  north  wind  blows,  as  it 
comes  from  the  Black  Sea,  it  is  too  cool,  and  when  the 
south  wind  blows,  it  is  very  hot.  The  heat  I  do  not  mind 
at  all — indeed  it  is  very  pleasant,  and  there  is  a  luxury 
about  it  very  delightful.  I  hope  I  may  soon  be  better. 
At  present  I  am  unable  to  do  any  thing,  except  occasion- 
ally to  write  a  little,  as  it  is  a  recreation.  It  is  three 
Weeks  since  I  became  ill — part  of  the  time  have  been  in 
bed,  and  now  I  can  with  much  difficulty  walk  from  one 
room  to  the  other.  Before  my  illness,  I  had  commenced 
studying  Armenian  in  earnest,  and  shall  resume  it  as  soon 
as  I  can.  Constantinople  life  has  nothing  of  the  charm 
which  Smyrna  life  has,  but  we  content  ourselves  with  the 
hope  of  doing  good  among  these  dear  Armenians.  Their 
minds  are  wide  awake. 


324  ^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 


Did  yoa  think  of  us  this  week  ?  Our  wedding  week  ? 
Last  year  this  day,  we  were  at  the  falls — those  glorious 
falls  !  How  much  has  happened  since  then.  How  tender 
the  recollections  of  those  days  in  Hartford — our  school 
days — our  days  when  we  met  to  read  together,  and  after- 
wards those  quiet  walks  when  the  sun  was  setting,  and 
the  evening  star  beginning  to  look  quietly  down,  and  we 
were  communing  of  holy  things.  Our  Saturday  evenings — 
oh,  they  were  the  sweetest.  Do  we  not  remember  each 
scene  in  the  beautiful  past  as  vividly  as  if  we  were  again 
treading  those  very  spots  ?  We  have  a  great  deal  to  talk 
about — and  if  we  do  not  in  this  world  meet,  I  know  we 
shall  remember  them  all  in  heaven.  And  do  not  you  be- 
lieve, that  our  memories  will  be  far  more  vivid  there,  than 
they  ever  can  be  here  ?" 

To  one  of  her  young  friends  in  Hartford. 

Makry-keuy^  Sept.  9th. 
My  dear  S. — I  have  thought  of  you,  and  prayed  for  you 
many  times,  and  particularly  since  I  have  heard  of  the 
deep  affliction*  which  our  Heavenly  Father  has  sent  into 
your  family.  You  have  learned  very  early  in  life,  that 
this  is  a  world  full  of  sorrow,  and  that  if  this  were  our  only 
state  of  existence,  it  would  be  hardly  worth  while  to  live. 
But  let  us  thank  our  Father,  who  gives  us  the  promise  of 
a  glorious  home  beyond  the  grave  ;  a  home  where  no  pain 
can  enter — a  home  where  existence  is  perfect  happiness. 
While  we  are  in  health,  we  are  apt  to  forget  that  other 
world,  but  in  sickness  the  mind  returns  to  it  with  new 
feelings.  This  is  the  case  with  me.  I  have  been  prone 
to  forget  heaven  ;  while  1  have  been  in  health  it  has  seemed 

*  This  young  friend  had  lost  a  brother  who  was  very  dear  to  all. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  325 

far  off,  and  I  have  not  tried  to  fix  my  affections  there,  as  I 
now  feel  that  I  ought.  But  for  some  weeks  my  health 
has  been  very  feeble,  and  the  world  has  grown  dim,  and  I 
bless  God  who  has  in  mercy  afflicted  me,  so  that  I  might 
look  up  to  that  better  world,  which  should  occupy  our  chief 
attention.  Dear  S.,  this  world  is  not  to  be  our  home. 
Let  us  rejoice  in  this.  A  few  days  of  care  will  soon  pass, 
and  then  we,  and  those  we  love,  will  begin  a  blessed  ex- 
istence in  the  presence  of  our  Saviour,  who  will  make  all 
our  hearts  happy,  through  all  eternity.  But  how  little  we 
think  of  heaven,  and  how  we  start  at  the  thought  of  dying. 
Yes,  dying  is  a  solemn  thing.  I  shrink  when  I  think  of 
the  hour  of  death.  But  then  I  say, '  will  Jesus  leave  those 
who  put  their  trust  in  him.?'  Oh,  no,  we  may  safely  con- 
fide in  him,  and  he  will  take  away  all  fear  of  death,  and  he 
will  put  such  sweet  thoughts  of  heaven  into  our  minds, 
and  of  the  lovely  company  of  redeemed  ones  who  are  gath- 
ered there,  that  we  shall  no  longer  look  upon  this  life  as 
desirable,  but  shall  joyfully  meet  death  as  a  messenger 
sent  to  carry  us  to  our  beautiful,  our  glorious  home.  I 
think  our  views  of  heaven  will  depend  very  much  upon 
the  manner  in  which  we  view  Christ.  He  is  the  chief 
attraction  in  heaven,  and  he  must  have  our  highest  love,  if 
we  would  hope  to  have  heaven  attractive.  If  we  meditate 
much  upon  the  perfect  character  of  our  Almighty  Saviour, 
we  shall  see  how  adapted  he  is  to  satisfy  our  hearts.  Yes, 
dear  S,,  he  can  satisfy  as  no  other  being  can  ;  and  I  trust 
you  have  long  ere  this  found  it  out.  But  if  you  are  troub- 
led at  finding  that  Christ  is  not  all  to  you  that  you  wish 
him  to  be,  though  you  do  sincerely  put  your  trust  in  him, 
the  best  way  to  remedy  this  is  to  think  very  much  of  him, 
to  strive  to  have  your  thoughts  go  up  often  to  him,  and  also 
to  pray  earnestly  that  he  will  show  you  how  lovely  he  is. 
Christ  has  sources  of  comfort  and  happiness  in  himself, 
28 


326  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

which  he  is  ready  to  impart  to  us,  and  of  which  we  now 
little  dream.  Our  minds  are  too  dark  to  see  his  loveli- 
ness. Oh,  when  will  these  clouds  he  rolled  away  ?  Dear 
S.,  let  us  no  longer  think  of  him  as  a  being  far  away,  but 
as  a  kind  and  faithful  friend,  who  loves  us  with  so  tender 
a  love,  that  he  longs  to  draw  us  to  his  bosom,  and  make  us 
forever  happy.  But  you  may  think,  dear  S.,  that  I  intend 
writing  a  sermon  instead  of  a  letter,  and  I  will  tell  you 
frankly,  that  these  thoughts  have  dwelt  so  much  in  my 
mind  of  late,  that  1  could  not  refrain  from  writing  them. 

I  have  had  such  good  health  almost  ever  since  I  came 
to  the  East,  that  it  is  hard  now  to  think  of  being  an  inva- 
lid ;  but  I  must  trust  in  God,  and  have  patience.  Oh,  it  is 
very  sweet  to  know  we  are  in  the  hands  of  a  kind  Heav- 
enly Father,  who  knows  just  what  is  best  for  us. 

Dear  S.,how  much  I  would  give  to  see  you  once  again  ; 
but  let  us  strive  so  to  live,  that  we  shall  meet  in  heaven." 

From  Mr.  V.  L.— Extract. 

Constantinople^  Sept.  18th,  1844. 

*'  My  beloved  parents. — 1  have  so  long  delayed  writing 
again,  in  the  hopes  of  being  able  to  give  you  a  more  satis- 
factory account  of  Mary's  health.  I  am  rejoiced  to  say 
that  she  is  better,  and  that  her  fever  has  left  her.  But  she 
has  been  very  much  reduced  by  this  sickness.  She  is 
weak  and  emaciated,  so  that  you  would  hardly  know  her. 

M.  sends  you  her  very  best  love,  and  wishes  you  to  trust 
her  entirely  in  God's  hands,  fully  believing  that  he  will 
take  care  of  her,  and  do  all  that  is  best  for  her.  Miss  W. 
has  been  very  kind  to  us  in  M.'s  sickness,  being  the  only 
one  who  has  been  able  to  afford  me  any  assistance  in  taking 
care  of  her." 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  327 

From  the  same. — Extract. 

Constantinople,  Sept.  25th,  1844. 
"  Mary  has  had  some  clouds,  but  generally  she  is  in  a 
happy,  contented  state  of  mind,  trusting  in  Christ  as  able 
to  do  all  things  for  her,  and  alone  able  to  wash  away  her 
sins,  and  to  save  her  at  last.  I  have  just  asked  her  whether 
she  had  any  message  for  you.-  She  says,  '  give  my  best 
love,  my  very  best  love  ;  tell  them  I  have  a  great  many 
things  to  say  to  them,  but  I  can't  now.  Tell  them  it  will 
be  very,  very  sweet,  when  all  the  redeemed  meet  together 
in  heaven.'  " 

From  the  same. 

Constantinople,  September  27th,  1844. 

*'  My  dearest  parents. — I  wrote  you  the  day  before  yes- 
terday, about  M.'s  state,  but  as  the  letter  is  to  go  by  ship, 
and  it  may  be  long  before  you  can  receive  it,  I  now  write 
you  by  post,  especially  as  the  disease  has  made  great  prog- 
ress since  that  time.  Yesterday  morning  the  doctor  told 
me  that  her  disease  was  typhus  fever,  and  that  he  had  very 
strongly  suspected  its  nature  from  the  beginning.  In  the 
afternoon,  a  consultation  was  held,  in  which  the  physicians 
agreed  perfectly. 

Mental  aberration  had  slightly  commenced  the  day  be- 
fore. Yesterday  it  gradually  increased,  with  a  pulse  at 
one  hundred  and  forty.  During  the  last  night  she  did  not 
close  her  eyes,  and  has  constantly  been  seeing  a  variety  of 
imaginary  sights,  and  talking  with  many  of  her  friends. 
Once  in  a  w^hile  she  has  had  a  lucid  moment ;  but  it  has 
been  short,  and  apparently  given  her  to  express  her  entire 
confidence  in  Christ,  and  her  full  committal  of  all  her  friends 
into  his  hands. 

In  the  midst  of  all  her  delirium  and  agitation,  she  shows 


328  ^IRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

in  a  touching  manner  her  love  for  her  friends.  She  has 
often  called  you  to  her,  and  been  conversing  with  you. 
Last  night  she  called  me  to  her,  to  catch  three  letters 
which  her  father  had  thrown  her,  and  which  were  fallen 
into  her  bosom.  She  was  also  certain  he  had  passed  in  the 
street,  and  asked  why  he  had  not  called  to  see  her  now  he 
was  in  town.  At  one  moment  she  begged  me  most  touch- 
ingly,  to  let  her  go  and  see  her  father  and  mother.  She 
has  several  times  called  M.  M.,  and  spoken  to  her,  and 
has  also  spoken  of  several  of  my  relatives. 

I  have  done  all  I  could  to  find  out  her  state  of  mind,  as 
well  as  to  help  her  to  fix  her  hopes  on  the  sure  foundation. 
Before  the  critical  turn  which  the  disease  took,  we  talked 
a  great  deal  together  on  experimental  religion.  She  often 
expressed  doubts  as  to  her  state  ;  they  came  from  her  deep 
sense  of  unworthiness  and  short  coming.  She  always  called 
herself  an  unprofitable  servant,  and  deeply  mourned  on  ac- 
count of  it.  But  her  mind  was  stayed  on  Christ  as  her 
only  hope ;  and  she  looked  for  no  other  Saviour — wished 
for  no  other.  From  the  first  of  her  illness,  she  has  believed 
that  she  should  not  recover,  and  all  our  reasonings  upon  the 
subject  have  proved  of  no  avail.  This  impression  has  led 
her  to  make  her  preparation  thorough.  She  has  conversed 
about  it  with  whoever  could  give  her  any  information. 
But  now  all  doubts  seem  dispelled.  Whenever  she  hag 
been  lucid,  and  before  she  lost  her  mind,  her  hope  was 
strong,  believing  that  Christ  could  and  would  save  her. 

A  few  hours  later.  The  doctor  has  been  in,  and  finds 
that  the  disease  has  made  alarming  progress  during  the 
night.  He  thinks  her  in  a  very  critical  situation.  Her 
limbs  have  become  cold,  and  all  the  hot  applications  fail  to 
draw  the  beat  towards  them." 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  S29 

"  Sept.  27th.  1  o'' clock.  Thus  far  your  son-in-law  had 
written, — and  now,  at  his  request,  1  enter  apon  the  painful 
duty  of  announcing  to  you,  that  your  beloved  daughter's 
race  in  this  world  is  run.  She  *  has  fought  the  goodjight ;' 
she  '' has  finished  her  course;^  she  ^  has  kept  the  faith.' 

I  have  just  come  from  the  bedside  where  her  lifeless 
body  still  lies,  and  it  is  only  fifteen  minutes  since  she  drew 
her  last  breath.  But  her  soul  is  not  there ;  it  is  not  any 
where  in  this  world  ;  but  we  doubt  not  it  has  gone  to  dwell 
with  that  glorious  and  faithful  Saviour,  to  whom  she  had 
dedicated  her  life.  She  loved  much,  and  would  have  done 
much  for  her  lord  in  this  dark  world,  and  he  accepted  her 
offering  of  herself — but  has  removed  her  to  a  higher  service 
in  his  own  bright  world  of  glory. 

Would  that  I  could  speak  a  word  of  comfort  to  both 
your  hearts.  But  God  must  comfort  you,  and  I  doubt  not 
he  will  do  it.  Heaven  is  as  near  to  the  children  of  God  in 
Constantinople  as  in  Hartford;  and  it  is  as  safe  dying  here 
as  there.  May  you  and  we  all  be  ready  to  welcome  the 
Saviour,  whenever  he  shall  come  to  call  us  away  ! 

H.  G.  O.  DWIGHT." 

Extracts  from  a  letter  by  the  husband  of  Mary,  a  few  days  after  her 
death. 

"  Oh  my  dear  precious  father  and  mother, — How  can  I 
announce  to  you  the  fearful  calamity  which  has  befallen 
me,  and  not  only  me,  but  all  who  have  ever  known  my 
Mary,  my  now  sainted  and  forever  happy  Mary. 

But  I  must  not  give  vent  to  my  own  grief,  I  must  hasten 
to  satisfy  your  trembling  curiosity.  My  M.,  your  M.  is 
gone.  She  has  fled  from  this  world  of  pain  and  sin,  and 
now  lies  in  Jesus'  bosom ;  and  her  body,  the  once  lovely 
mansion  of  the  loveliest  spirit,  sleeps  on  an  eminence  that 
28* 


330  ^^^'  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

overlooks  the  city  for  whose  spiritual  welfare  she  laid  down 
her  life. 

You  know  it  is  about  six  weeks  since  she  began  to  be 
ill.  Medicine  did  not  succeed  in  entirely  restoring  her, 
though  at  times  it  checked  her  disease.  I  removed  her 
into  town  as  soon  as  I  could,  that  she  might  have  constant 
medical  attendance.  Under  a  change  of  treatment,  she 
seemed  to  be  doing  well,  when  all  at  once,  on  Sunday,  the 
22d,  there  was  a  powerful  relapse.  On  Wednesday,  her 
mind  began  to  wander.  On  Thursday  night,  she  went 
down  very  fast.  I  was  constantly  by  her  side.  In  the 
morning  her  limbs  were  cold.  The  usual  hot  applications 
left  them  as  cold  as  before — all  the  heat  was  concentrated 
in  her  breast.  But  she  had  her  reason,  though  she  could 
scarcely  articulate,  or  perceive  objects  around  her. 

About  eleven  o'clock,  began  her  agony — and  the  doctor 
tells  me  I  have  seen  all  that  can  be  seen  in  such  a  moment. 
But  he  assures  me  she  neither  suffered  nor  was  conscious 
of  any  thing.  I  have  reason  to  believe  it,  and  comfort 
myself  with  it.  But  she  expired  like  the  breeze  on  the 
ocean,  when  the  ripples  beat  fainter  and  fainter  on  the 
shore.  She  breathed  slowly,  and  yet  more  slowly,  and 
died  without  a  groan,  or  the  slightest  motion  of  a  muscle. 

Mary's  mind  had  long  been  preparing  for  her  end.  From 
the  first  she  believed  that  she  should  not  recover.  She 
settled  all  her  doubts  one  by  one.  On  Sunday,  before  her 
relapse,  she  expressed  a  sweet  and  perfect  confidence  in 
her  Saviour,  and  entrusted  all  things  to  him.  We  had 
some  sweet  words  together.  She  said  God  would  take 
care  of  me,  and  wanted  to  talk  about  her  death.  I  told 
her  I  could  not  bear  it,  and  that  there  was  no  probability 
of  her  dying  sooner  than  I.  Still  she  did  talk  about  it. 
On  Monday  her  mind  began  to  wander.  Her  fears  were 
roused  for  a  moment,  but  she  checked  them  at  once,  and 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  331 

expressed  the  fullest  confidence  in  Christ,  and  the  firm 
belief  that  he  would  save  her. 

I  have  vs^rittenyou  something  about  her  derangement. 
Now  I  want  to  say,  that  from  seven  o'clock  on  Friday 
morning,  her  mind  ceased  to  wander.  She  was  constantly 
speaking  to  herself  All  I  could  distinguish  was  in  strong 
hope  and  joyful  expectation.  I  several  times  made  out, 
*  Oh,  how  happy  !'  *  Very  happy  !'  '  How  sweet  it  will  be 
to  be  there  !'  I  kept  whispering  in  her  ear  words  of  en- 
couragement, and  as  long  as  she  could  hear,  she  seemed 
to  enjoy  it  much,  and  responded  to  it.  When  I  repeated 
the  first  stanza  of  the  hymn,  '  Jesus,  lover  of  my  soul,' 
there  was  a  strong  bright  smile,  and  she  whispered,  *yes,' 
*yes,'  several  times.  Soon,  however,  she  could  hear 
nothing.  I  laid  myself  before  her  eyes,  and  asked  if  she 
knew  me ;  she  said  '  yes,'  '  Henry.'  But  soon  she  could 
distinguish  us  no  more.  She  kept  her  eyes  distinctly  fixed 
toward  heaven.  Her  voice  was  presently  inarticulate, 
and  it  was  only  groans,  which  soon  became  strong  breath- 
ings. For  the  last  time  she  had  spoken  of  her  feelings; 
she  said  she  felt  perfectly  well.  The  agony  seemed  one 
in  which  she  had  nothing  to  do.  The  doctor  said  he  was 
sure  she  was  unconscious  of  it.  He  says  also,  that  all  her 
last  forenoon  he  had  seen  that  her  mind  was  engaged  with 
the  world  to  which  she  was  going. 

My  dear  parents,  I  am  afraid  you  will  think  I  do  not 
submit  to  God's  will.     I  do,  from  the  bottom  of  my  heart. 

I  know  he  does  all  things  right.  And  how  can  I  mur- 
mur when  my  IMary  is  so  happy.  Let  us  all  kiss  the  hand 
that  smites." 


332  ^niS.  aiARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

A  few  additional  notices  from  a  letter  of  Miss  W — n. 

Constantinople,  Sept.  30th,  1844. 

*'  You  have  heard  all  the  sad  news  ere  this — sad  for  us 
survivors — most  sad  for  him  who  has  lost  the  light  of  his 
life.  God  has  taken  our  dear  M.  to  himself,  and  it  is  mo- 
mentarily pleasant  to  think  how  happy  she  is  now  in  the 
presence  of  her  Saviour,  among  glorified  spirits;  but  as 
we  are  bound  down  to  earth,  we  feel  the  loss  of  one  who 
would  have  shed  sunshine  around  our  path.  M.  was  ever 
so  sprightly,  so  cheerful,  so  disposed  to  make  others  happy, 
that  all  were  depending  upon  her  for  life  and  animation 
during  the  coming  winter.  We  were  only  waiting  for  her 
to  recover,  to  commence  various  plans.  We  had  made 
some  arrangements  with  reference  to  the  children  of  the 
mission  families;  all  thinking  it  important  that  something 
should  be  done  to  interest  and  improve  them,  as  they  grow 
up  here  without  the  lectures  and  other  varieties  which 
young  people  have  in  America.  During  the  day,  each 
were  to.pursue  their  several  avocations,  and  at  evening 
were  to  endeavor  to  revive,  improve,  and  edify  each  other. 
All  was  depending  upon  the  new  comers,  as  others  were 
too  feeble,  or  too  much  immersed  in  cares,  to  go  forward 
in  any  new  project. 

When  I  came  to  Constantinople  about  the  middle  of 
August,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  V.  L.  were  do\Vn  on  the  sea  coast. 
I  received  a  note  from  M.,  saying  that  she  had  not  been 
well  for  a  few  days,  but  wished  me  to  come  there  as  soon 
as  I  had  seen  the  lions  about  C.  I  spent  a  week  in  this 
way,  and  then  accompanied  Mr.  V.  L.  to  Makry-keuy. 
M.  appeared  well,  and  stepped  about  in  her  usual  sprightly 
way  ;  but  informed  us  that  she  had  that  day  a  return  of 
unfavorable  symptoms.  She  did  not  rise  the  next  morn- 
ing, and  kept  her  bed  most  of  every  day  during  the  week. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LEXXEP.  333 

and  it  was  not  until  the  end  of  it,  that  the  disease  was 
checked,  when  she  had  become  weak,  and  Mr.  V.  L.  car- 
ried her  from  the  bed  to  the  sofa. 

On  Monday,  Sept.  2d  having  been  there  just  a  week,  it 
became  necessary  for  me  to  return  to  Pera.  I  was  think- 
ing whether  I  should  go  again  to  Makry-keuy,  when  I 
received  a  note  written  by  Mary  herself,  saying,  they  ex- 
pected to  come  up  to  Pera  in  a  few  days.  On  the  follow- 
ing Tuesday  they  came.  M.  was  brought  up  from  the 
boat  in  a  sedan  chair,  and  laid  upon  her  bed,  where  I  saw 
her  an  hour  or  two  afterwards.  She  appeared  much  the 
same  as  when  I  left  her  at  Makry-keuy.  It  was  not 
thought  best  she  should  talk  much,  and  therefore  I  read  to 
her.  She  was  not  disposed  for  light  reading,  but  seemed 
pleased  with  serious  subjects.  She  often  said  she  thought 
she  should  not  recover  from  this  sickness.  She  thought 
over  her  past  life,  examined  the  foundation  of  her  hope  of 
salvation,  expressed  her  fears  that  she  was  not  as  willing 
to  die  as  she  should  be — she  could  not  endure  to  think  of 
her  husband,  and  of  her  parents  in  their  bereavement.  As 
no  new  danger  was  apprehended  from  her  symptoms,  I 
was  sorry  to  hear  her  talk  in  this  way.  She  was,  how- 
ever, very  cheerful  and  patient,  and  during  the  first  week 
of  her  return  to  Pera,  talked  about  any  subject  that  inter- 
ested me. 

She  said  one  day,  '  you  will  see  my  mother,  probably, 
before  I  shall  Tell  her  how  much  I  love  her — hut  that 
you  cannot  do.  Tell  her  that  time  and  distance  do  not 
diminish  my  interest  and  affection — and  I  must  thank  for 
her  all  those  friends  who  so  kindly  helped  in  her  prepara- 
tions for  leaving  home.'  She  talked  over  her  severe  ill- 
ness at  Hartford,  and  remarked  upon  the  kindness  of  differ- 
ent individuals  to  her  at  the  time.  How  carefully  should 
I  have  treasured  up  every  word,  and  how  I  should  have 


334  ^I^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

drawn  her  out  upon  every  subject  of  interes-t,  instead  of 
deferring  them  to  a  time  when  I  thought  she  would  be 
well,  if  I  had  suspected  the  least  danger  in  her  case. 

The  Tuesday  before  her  death  I  began  to  be  discouraged 
about  her,  and  offered  to  sit  up  with  her  during  the  night, 
if  Mr.  V.  L.  would  retire  and  take  some  rest.  Before 
leaving  in  the  morning  I  read  to  her  from  the  daily  food, 
the  verse  for  the  day,  September  25th,  to  which  she  said, 
*  how  beautiful.'  She  thanked  me  with  her  usual 
warmth  for  staying  with  her,  and  after  promising  to  do  so 
again  soon,  1  left  her  never  more  to  see  her  when  she  was 
conscious  of  my  presence.  The  next  night  Mrs.  D wight 
spent  there,  and  she  was  much  the  same.  The  following 
night  Mr.  V.  L.  watched  with  her  himself.  She  bad  ap- 
peared weaker  during  the  day,  and  her  mind  somewhat 
affected.  On  Friday  morning  I  did  not  think  of  there  being 
any  more  immediate  danger,  but  at  eleven  o^clock  word 
came  to  me  that  she  was  dying.  I  hastily  snatched  my 
bonnet,  and  with  Mr.  Goodell  hurried  to  her  bedside. 
What  a  change  I  She  was  breathing  heavily,  her  eyes 
fixed,  and  she  was  evidently  unconscious.  The  physician 
and  her  husband  were  at  her  side ;  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Dwight 
near.  In  a  few  moments  Mr.  V.  L.'s  brother  came  in,  and 
we  all  stood  speechless,  only  Mr.  Goodell  uttered  a  short 
prayer  commending  her  spirit  to  God.  We  knew  the  mo- 
ment of  her  death  only  as  the  physician  said  to  her  hus- 
band, '  she  is  gone,'  when  he  fainted  and  was  carried  from 
the  room  ;  and  Mrs.  Dwight  and  myself  were  left  alone 
with  the  lifeless  body  of  our  departed  sister.  Rer  servant 
maid,  a  Greek  girl,  who  had  been  also  present,  came  in, 
and  we  commenced  our  melancholy  office.  It  was  a  new 
and  trying  scene  to  me,  for  I  had  never  seen  any  thing  of 
the  kind.  I  Qould  not  permit  my  feelings  to  excuse  me, 
and  there  were  no  other  of  the  missionary  ladies  who  were 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  335 

well  enough  to  do  it,  and  it  must  not  be  left  to  servants. 
Little  had  I  thought  when  I  arranged  her  hair  for  her  day 
by  day,  that  I  was  to  see  it  done  for  the  last  time  so  soon, 
but  I  forbear.  She  is  gone,  and  we  are  left  desolate.  On 
Saturday  at  two  o'clock,  the  few  Christian  friends  assem- 
bled to  perform  the  last  sad  office.  Mr.  Goodell  conducted 
the  services  at  the  house.  Her  favorite  hymn,  *  Jesus, 
lover  of  my  souP  was  sung.  The  procession  of  about 
thirty  gentlemen  walked  to  the  grave,  and  the  bier  was 
carried  on  the  shoulders  of  a  number,  none  of  whose  names 
I  heard  mentioned,  excepting  Rev.  Mr.  T.,  one  of  the 
missionaries  of  the  American  Episcopal  church.  The 
ladies  all  remained  at  the  house,  as  it  is  not  the  custom  for 
them  to  o-o  to  the  grave.  I  can  not  realize  the  truth  that 
Mary's  spirit  is  in  heaven,  and  her  body  beneath  the 
ground.  It  was  indeed  a  sudden  stroke  to  all,  and  most  so 
I  think  to  her  husband.  But  let  us  not  look  down  into  the 
narrow  house  of  the  body,  but  up  to  the  blessed  mansion 
where  the  glorified  spirit  is  chanting  the  praises  of  redeem- 
ing love." 

A  brief  notice  by  Mrs.  Goodell. 

"  Very  soon  after  she  came  from  the  country  she  re- 
quested us  to  pray  that  she  might  have  'patience  and  resig- 
nation. She  wished  us  also  to  repeat  to  her  verses  of 
Scripture,  saying,  they  were  so  refreshing,  and  helped  to 
fix  her  thoughts  on  God,  adding  that  her  mind  had  become 
very  weak,  and  that  she  could  not  think  much.  On  the 
morning  of  the  23d,  she  requested  me  to  read  to  her  out  of 
her  text  book,  the  verse  for  the  day,  which  I  did.  In  the 
afternoon  I  read  to  her  at  intervals,  passages  of  Scripture 
and  some  hymns,  with  which  she  expressed  herself  much 
delighted  and  comforted.  Now  she  is  where  she  needs  no 
such  feeble  help. 


336  MI^S.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Mrs.  Van  Lennep  looked  lovely  and  pleasant  in  death, 
perfectly  natural,  and  with  a  countenance  uncomnmonly 
sweet." 

A  brief  extract  from  a  letter  of  Mr.  V.  L.,  February,  1845. 

*'  In  thinking  over  the  circumstances  of  Mary's  sickness, 
I  cannot  help  being  struck  with  the  care  of  her  Father  in 
Heaven  to  prepare  her  to  go  home  to  Himself.  From  the 
commencement  of  her  indisposition,  she  had  an  impression 
that  it  would  end  in  her  dissolution.  At  first  she  merely 
hinted  the  existence  of  that  impression ;  but  she  soon  stated 
and  repeated  it.  Her  evident  object  all  the  day  long  w^as 
to  prepare  herself  for  her  last  change. 

Providence  kindly  provided  that  we  should  be  placed  in 
a  quiet  country  village,  seeing  almost  no  company  ;  so  that 
she  could  give  herself  up  without  any  hindrance  to  a 
review  of  all  the  great  features  of  Christianity,  and  going 
to  the  only  foundation  of  hope  to  the  sinner,  might  place 
her  feet  more  firmly  than  ever  on  the  rock  Christ  Jesus. 
I  shall  never  forget  the  sweet  and  delightful  conversations 
we  had  together  all  the  time  we  were  at  Makry-keuy.  I 
particularly  remember  one  afternoon,  while  she  was  yet  in 
health,  we  were  talking  about  the  blessedness  of  Heaven, 
when  her  emotions  became  so  powerful  that  she  raised  her 
eyes  to  what  was  soon  to  be  her  own  abode  and  said,  while 
the  tears  gushed  from  them,  "  O,  it  will  be  sweet  to  be 
there."  The  character  of  Christ  occupied  her  mind  more 
than  any  other  topic,  and  the  delightful  views  contained  in 
"  The  Great  Teacher,"  a  book  we  were  then  reading,  were 
to  her  a  source  of  the  highest  pleasure. 

During  the  last  weeks  of  her  life  she  became  very  weak, 
and  was  unable  to  bear  what  required  much  concentration 
of  thought;  but  she  had  a  high  relish  for  prayer,  and 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  337 

whenever  Mr.  Goodell  called  she  uniformly  asked  him  to 
pray.  I  wish  I  could  remember  her  many  sweet  expres. 
sions  of  every  Christian  emotion  ;  her  committing  her 
friends  and  us  all  to  the  hands  of  the  Redeemer  ;  but  her 
thoughts  and  the  state  of  her  mind  so  engrossed  me  that 
the  words  in  which  she  gave  utterance  to  them  have 
escaped  from  the  memory.  Besides  she  talked  as  much 
with  her  countenance  and  gestures  as  with  her  lips,  and 
the  whole' was  a  clear  mirror  by  which  she  made  you  gaze 
into  the  purest  and  most  angelic  soul.* 

Before  losing  it  forever,  I  took  a  last  sad  look  of  that 
sweet  countenance  which  had  been  the  seat  of  so  many 
emotions,  but  I  deeply  felt  Mary  was  not  there.  On  Sat- 
urday afternoon,  the  circle  of  sympathizing  friends  met  in 
our  large  parlor,  where  Mr.  Goodell  performed  religious 
services.  When  the  funeral  train  had  started,  I  took 
another  way  in  a  carriage  with  Mr.  Schauffler,"and  was  at 
the  grave  long  before  they  had  reached  it.  I  stood  by  the 
opening  earth  ready  to  receive  into  its  bosom  the  remnant 
of  my  Mary.  Oh,  how  I  wished  I  could  lie  down  in  it  by 
her  side.  At  length  the  mourning  train  appeared,  winding 
among  the  solemn  trees  and  the  Armenian  tombs  which 
border  the  Protestant  grave  yard.  It  slowly  ascended  the 
slope,  near  the  summit  of  which  we  stood.  Mr.  Goodell 
and  the  Prussian  chaplain  walked  in  front.  Then  came 
the  bier  covered  with  its  black  cloth,  held  by  some  of  our 
brethren.  The  American  ambassador  followed.  He  had 
requested  to  carry  the  cloth,  but  w^as  told  that  it  would  be 
a  sufficient  expression  of  his  interest  if  he  walked  first  after 

*  The  trial  of  sickness  and  suffering  gave  a  greater  lustre  to  every 
excellence  in  her  character,  and  she  is  not  fully  known  by  those  who 
have  not  seen  her  in  such  circumstances. — Mr.  V.  L. 

28 


338  ^^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

the  bier.  The  Prussian  chaplain  performed  the  services  at 
the  grave  with  much  feeling,  and  all  that  was  visible  of  my 
sweet  Mary  disappeared  under  the  earth.  .  .  .  Sleep 
there  until  thou  rise  to  a  happy  resurrection !  Sleep ! 
Thy  rest  is  peace  and  thj^  soul  is  blessed  !" 

A  monument  erected  by  her  husband  in  the  Protestant 
burying  ground  at  Pera  covers  the  spot  where  her  dust 
reposes.  In  reference  to  the  place  of  her  burial,  Mr.  V. 
L.  remarks,  "  At  first  I  felt  disappointed  that  her  remains 
could  not  be  conveyed  to  Smyrna,  to  be  buried  among  the 
graves  of  my  ancestors,  but  she  sleeps  where  now  I  would 
wish  her  to  sleep,  among  the  people  for  whose  welfare  she 
sacrificed  her  life.  She  went  to  Constantinople  at  a  great 
personal  expense,  solely  for  the  sake  of  the  Armenians 
whom  she  loved,  and  in  their  midst  let  her  sleep  among 
the  living  and  the  dead.  From  her  grave  you  behold  the 
Bosphorus  passing  under  your  feet,  with  its  crowded  villa- 
ges on  both  sides  ;  you  also  see  parts  of  Constantinople 
itself.  If  the  spirit  ever  visits  the  place  of  its  clay,  with 
what  joy  will  she  look  around  on  a  people  restored  to  the 
spiritual  worship  of  God,  as  I  trust  they  will  be  before 
many  years  have  passed." 


CHAPTER   XIV. 


CLOSING     REMARKS 


And  now  the  task  is  done.  It  was  undertaken  by  affec- 
tion, and  pursued  with  a  pleasing  though  melancholy  satis- 
faction, as  it  furnished  the  occasion  of  living  over  again 
the  dear  and  tender  scenes  of  days  that  are  past,  never  to 
return. 

It  was  the  wish  of  the  writer  that  the  preparation  of  the 
memoir  might  have  fallen  to  other  and  abler  hands ;  but 
the  feelings  of  the  father  have  not  permitted  him  to  look 
over  the  papers  of  his  deceased  daughter,  until  the  work 
was  nearly  ready  for  the  press.  Yet  this  may  not  prove 
so  serious  a  loss  as  was  at  first  apprehended,  as  it  has  led 
to  a  more  copious  selection  from  her  writings  than  might 
have  been  made  in  other  circumstances  ;  and  thus  the  sub- 
ject of  the  memoir  has  been,  with  slight  exceptions,  her 
own  biographer. 

And  here  the  writer  might  gather  up  the  traits  in  her 
character  and  present  them  in  a  connected  view,  but  as 
this  has  been  done  in  a  sermon  appended  to  the  memoir, 
she  will  only  add  a  few  things  which  occur  to  her  mind  in 
closing,  as  contributing  to  make  the  portrait  more  com- 
plete. 

Every  one  who  has  read  the  preceding  pages  must  have 
been  struck  with  two  things  ;  Mary's  love  of  life  and  her 
early  preparation   to  leave   it.      Her  husband,   as  were 


340  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

others,  was  constantly  impressed  with  these  facts.  He 
says,  "  Mary  loved  life.  She  loved  her  friends  with  a 
rapturous  l*ve.  She  loved  man,  of  whatever  nation,  what- 
ever religion,  in  whatever  state."  She  '*  desired  life,  that 
she  might  impart  to  others  the  blessings  which  have  been 
so  richly  bestowed  upon  her."* 

She  was  also  qualified  to  enjoy  life.  She  looked  upon 
the  works  of  nature  as  a  manifestation  of  the  excellence 
and  glory  of  their  great  Creator,  and  she  loved  them  as  the 
work  of  her  Father's  hand.  She  often  spoke  of  their  sooth- 
ing and  elevating  influence  on  the  mind,  and  said  of  them, 
that  "  they  were  a  lovel}^  book  to  read  with  the  Bible," 
She  loved  her  work  in  life.  *'  Hers  was  a  heart  whose 
emotions  were  powerful,  and  constantly  keeping  along 
with  the  thousand  objects  which  impressed  her.'f" 

With  regard  to  her  being  qualified  for  usefulness,  her  life 
speaks  for  itself,  yet  the  testimony  of  her  husband  on  this 
point  is  too  striking  to  be  omitted.  He  says,  "  My  inter- 
course with  her  was  a  source  not  only  of  happiness,  but  of 
real,  spiritual  improvement,  and  I  have  grown  ten  times 
faster  in  my  Christian  character  while  she  has  been  with 
me.    I  blessed  God  continually  for  having  given  her  to  me." 

Her  adaptedness  to  fill  with  happiness  to  herself  and 
acceptability  to  others,  the  various  stations  which  it  was 
her  lot  in  life  to  occupy,  pass  in  pleasing  retrospect  be- 
fore the  mind,  yet  only  a  single  testimony,  and  that  in 
reference  to  the  last  relation  she  was  called  to  sustain, 
shall  be  quoted.  "  She  was  a  crown  of  glory  to  her  hus- 
band."]; 

And  yet  in  the  morning  of  life  and  in  the  enjoyment  of 
every  thing  which  could  contribute  to  make  life  useful  and 
happy,  she  kept  constantly  before  her  mind  the  day  of  her 
death.     Indeed,  from  the  time  in  her  tenth  year,  when  she 

*  Her  own  remark.  j  Mr.  V.    L. 

JRev.  Mr.  Goodell,  Constantinople* 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  341 

penned  the  resolution,  "  Resolved  to  think  often  of  my 
dying,"  the  importance  of  being  prepared  for  a  state  of 
purity  and  blessedness  beyond  the  grave,  was  never  lost 
sight  of.  One  of  her  young  friends  who  knew  her  well 
says,  **  the  future  world  was  so  much  in  her  thoughts  that 
her  early  removal  to  it  could  have  been  no  great  surprise 
to  her,  whatever  it  was  to  us."  The  same  friend  in  speak- 
ing of  her  preparedness  for  heaven  says,  ''she  let  her  light 
so  shine,  that  the  world  did  not  wait  till  after  her  death  to 
count  her  among  the  number  of  Christ's  jewels." 

A  word  or  two  respecting  her  religious  training  might 
not  be  out  of  place  here.  What  that  was  may  be  gathered 
from  a  chapter  in  the  commencement  of  the  memoir,  and 
also  from  a  few  remarks  in  the  sermon  before  alluded  to. 
In  addition  it  need  only  be  said,  that  in  conducting  this 
part  of  her  education,  her  parents  kept  constantly  in  mind 
her  fallen  and  ruined  state  by  nature,  and  the  necessity  of 
Divine  interposition  in  order  to  a  recovery  from  this  state. 
These  great  and  leading  truths  of  Christianity  were  made 
the  basis  of  her  religious  education.  They  were  used  as 
an  essential  means  of  giving  her  a  just  view  of  her  state  as 
a  sinner,  and  of  leading  her  to  Christ  as  the  only  Saviour. 
To  the  impressions  which  these  truths  made  upon  her 
mind  in  her  tender  years,  resulting  as  they  did  in  her  early 
piety,  is  to  be  traced,  all  that  made  her  so  lovely  and  use- 
ful in  life,  and  prepared  her  for  so  early  a  removal  from 
this  to  a  purer  world. 

And  now  may  He  to  whom  this  beloved  child  consecrated 
herself  in  the  morning  of  her  days,  to  whom  she  was  indebted 
for  all  that  made  her  what  she  was,  graciously  smile  upon 
this  humble  effort,  and  condescend  to  make  use  of  it  in  the 
advancement  of  His  own  cause,  which  was  dear  to  the 
deceased  while  she  lived,  and  from  which  it  seemed  good 
in  His  sight  so  early  to  withdraw  her  labors. 
28* 


Lines  by  a  Ffiend. 


TO    THE    MEMORY    OF 


MRS.    MARY    E.    VAN    LENNEP, 
Who  died  at   Constantinople,  September  ■21th,  1S44. 

Thy  grave  is  with  the  Moslem  dead, 

Far  o'er  the  rolling  sea, 
Where  none  of  all  that  loved  thee  here 

Can  go  to  weep  for  thee  ; 
Thou  who  wert  to  so  many  hearts 

Dear  as  the  light  of  day  ; 
Whose  sweet  voice  from  our  memories  ,, 

Can  never  {)ass  away.  ■ 

Could  earthly  love  avail  to  save, 

Or  spirit  puritied, 
Or  youth  and  hope  and  holy  faith, 

Thou  surely  hadst  not  died. 
Thy  labor  in  the  vineyard  closed 

Long  ere  the  noontide  sun  ; 
The  dew  still  glistened  on  the  leaves  j 

When  thy  short  task  was  done.  1 

The  angel  came  and  called  for  thee, 

He  took  thee  by  the  hand, 
He  led  thee  to  the  river's  side, 

And  showed  the  shining  land  ; 
And  thou  didst  lauuch  thy  trembling  bark, 

And  fearlessly  go  o'er, 
Nor  cast  one  lingering  backward  glance 

Upon  the  fading  shore. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  343 


And  glorious  was  the  light  that  streamed 

Down  from  the  pearly  gate  ; 
And  glorious  were  the  angel  band, 

'I'hat  round  thy  steps  did  wait; 
And  blessed  were  the  harmonies 

That  through  the  air  did  roll, 
The  welcome  of  the  host  of  heaven 

Unto  thy  blissful  soul. 

And  there  thou  art  in  glory  shining, 

Such  as  no  eye  can  see, 
And  there  we  think  without  repining 

That  thou  shalt  ever  be : 
For  though  the  way  is  long  and  dreary 

Up  to  the  hills  of  light,* 
And  though  our  steps  are  often  weary 

With  wandering  through  the  night, 

We  trust  in  him  who  was  thy  Guide 

To  lead  us  all  the  way. 
Till  on  our  souls  shall  dawn  the  light 

Of  the  eternal  day. 
Sweet  are  the  memories  our  hearts 

Shall  ever  keep  of  thee. 
Till  in  our  Father's  house  at  last 

Thy  face  once  more  we  see. 


ON  THE  DEATH  OF  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Scarce  was  the  joyance  o'er 

That  hailed  the  nuptial  rite, 
And  scarce  the  tender,  parting  tear 

Dried  in  its  channels  bright, 
When  o'er  the  Atlantic  surge. 

There  came  a  sound  of  woe, — 
The  flower  that  erst  our  garden  deck'd 

Was  in  its  bloom  laid  low. 


See  page  68  of  the  Memoir. 


344  MSS.  MARf  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

Sweet  friend— within  our  souls, 

How  fresh  each  hallowed  trace, 
Thy  meek  forgetfulness  of  self. 

Thy  loveliness  and  grace. 
Thy  hand,  the  harp  that  rul'd, 

Thy  warbled  music  sweet, 
Thy  childhood's  early  choice  to  sit 

Low  at  thy  Saviour's  feet. 

Within  the  house  of  God 

There  was  a  marriage  train, 
A  gathered  throng,  a  breathless  hush. 

An  anthem's  thrilling  strain. 
And  thou  in  snowy  robe 

Wert  by  thy  lover's  side. 
While   there  a  father's  voice  invok'd 

Heaven's  blessing  on  the  bride. 

Thy  path  was  o'er  the  wave, 

To  ancient  climes  afar, 
Where  turns  the  pagan's  blinded  eye, 

From  Bethlem's  blessed  star ; 
But,  soon  life's  labor  o'er. 

There  was  a  peaceful  sleep, 
Where  richly  blooms  the  Moslem  rose. 

And  dew-eyed  myrtles  weep. 

And  now  there's  grief  tor  thee. 

Fair  inmate  of  the  grave. 
Where  bright  Bosphorus  proudly  flows, 

And  Asia's  palm  trees  wave. 
And  deep  within  his  soul 

Is  anguish  unexpressed, 
Who  held  thee  for  so  brief  a  space, 

A  pearl-drop  on  his  breast. 

Not  in  the  church  yard-green 

Beneath  thy  native  sky, 
Thou  by  thine  infant  sister's  side, 

Or  brother  dear  might  lie. 


i 


345  »niS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

But  with  their  spirits  pure 

Thou  join'st  a  glorious  train. 
Where  ne'er  a  golden  link  was  broke 

From  love's  eternal  chain. 

Sad  is  thy  parent's  home. 

And  lone  their  evening  fire, 
Yet  there  doth  blessed  Memory  bend 

And  holy  faith  aspire. 
As  angel  comforters 

Tiiey  point  desponding  love 
To  what  thou  wert  while  here  below. 

And  what  thou  art  above. 

L.  H.  S. 


A  FATHER'S  MEMORIAL  OF  AN  ONLY  DAUGHTER. 


A  DISCOURSE 


DELIVERED    IN 


THE    FIRST   CHURCH    IN   HARTFORD, 


SABBATH  EVENING,  DECEMBER  9th,  1844. 


ON    THE    DEATH   OF 


MRS.    MARY   E.    VAN   LENNEP, 


WIFE  OF  REV.  HENRY  J.  VAN  LENNEP, 


Missionary  to  Turkey; 


WHO   DIED   IN   CONSTANTINOPLE,   SEPTEMBER    27th,    1844. 


BY  JOEL  HA  WES,  D.  D. 


A    SERMON. 

He  shall  enter  into  peace  ;  they  shall  rest  in  their  beds,  each  one  walking  lu  hia 

uprightness. — Isaiah  57  :  2. 

I  shall  be  satisfied  when  I  awake  with  thy  likeness. — Psalm  17  :  15. 

Besides  the  general  appropriateness  of  these  scriptures 
to  the  occasion  on  which  we  are  met,  there  are  two  special 
reasons  which  have  led  me  to  the  choice  of  them,  as  the 
theme  of  present  discourse. 

The  dear  departed  one  greatly  loved  a  little  manual  of 
devotion,  called  *'  Daily  Food."  She  was  for  years  in  the 
habit  of  reading  and  meditating  on  the  text  selected  for  the 
day,  as  a  means  of  Christian  improvement.  It  M^as  so, 
that  the  two  verses  just  read,  were  the  ones  for  the  day  on 
■which  she  died,  "  He  shall  enter  into  peace  ;  they  shall 
rest  in  their  beds,  each  one  walking  in  his  uprightness." 
"I  shall  be  satisfied  when  I  awake  with  thy  likeness."  Sink- 
ing under  the  power  of  disease,  she  was  probably  unable 
to  read  or  meditate  on  these  scriptures,  on  the  morning  of 
that  day,  as  she  was  wont  ;  but  just  as  the  sun  had  passed 
its  meridian,  she  went,  I  trust,  to  realize  their  full,  sweet 
meaning  in  the  presence  of  her  Saviour.  The  other  rea- 
son referred  to  is  this.  In  the  evening  before  our  final 
parting  at  Smyrna,  on  the  10th  of  last  May,  I  attended  a 
little  meeting  for  conference  and  prayer,  in  the  family  of 
one  of  our  missionaries.  In  expectation  of  the  sad  fare- 
30 


350  ^IliS   MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

well  on  the  morrow,  my  feelings  led  me  to  select,  as  the 
subject  of  my  remarks,  the  last  of  the  two  verses  chosen 
for  my  text.  I  shall  be  satisfied  when  I  awake  with  thy 
likeness.  My  dear  child  was  one  of  the  little  circle  that 
composed  my  audience  ;  and  it  was  the  last  time  that  she 
ever  listened  to  the  voice  of  Christian  instruction  and  en- 
couragement from  the  lips  of  her  father.  And  I  love  now 
to  reflect,  that  my  last  words  were  so  appropriate  to  a 
final  interview,  and  so  fitted  to  help  her  on  through  the 
remainder  of  her  short  pilgrimage  on  earth. 

The  scriptures,  then,  set  at  the  head  of  this  discourse, 
seem  to  me  to  have  a  peculiar  claim  to  direct  our  meditations 
on  the  present  occasion.  In  speaking  from  them,  I  shall  en- 
deavor, as  far  as  I  can,  to  lay  aside  the  feelings  of  a  father 
towards  a  much  loved  daughter,  and  address  my  audience, 
just  as  I  would,  were  I  preaching  a  sermon  on  the  death 
of  any  youthful  member  of  my  charge.  What  I  may  say 
of  the  deceased  will  not  be  in  eulogy,  but  in  praise  of  that 
grace  which  made  her  what  she  was,  and  in  thankfulness 
for  that  kindness  of  my  heavenly  Father,  which  comforts 
my  bereaved  heart  with  the  blessed  hope  that  he  has  taken 
her  to  himself  in  glory. 

I  have  wished  also,  by  falling  in  with  the  train  of  reflec- 
tion awakened  by  the  death  of  my  daughter  in  the  minds 
of  many,  especially,  of  her  young  acquaintances,  more 
deeply  to  impress  upon  them  the  lessons  of  this  provi- 
dence, that  so,  she  being  dead,  might  still  speak  to  them 
who  knew  and  loved  her  while  yet  she  was  with  us. 

In  presenting  a  brief  illustration  of  the  sentiments  con- 
tained in  our  text,  we  may  notice, 

I.  The  peaceful  death  of  the  righteous.     And, 

II.  The  state  of  blessedness  into  which  they  enter  on 
leaving  the  body 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  351 

I.  The  gospel  aside,  death  is  a  most  gloomy  and  dis- 
tressing event.  It  puts  an  end  to  all  our  enjoyments,  pur- 
poses, and  hopes.  It  severs  us  from  every  thing  we  hold 
dear  on  earth ;  seals  up  our  senses,  stops  the  vi^arm  cur- 
rent of  life,  and  commits  our  bodies  to  the  cold  and  silent 
grave,  there  to  moulder  back  to  corruption  and  dust.  Rea- 
son sheds  no  light  on  this  dark  scene  ;  wakes  up  no  hope 
in  the  bosom  of  the  departing,  and  speaks  no  comfort  to 
the  smitten  hearts  of  survivors.  It  cannot  assure  us  that 
we  shall  exist  beyond  the  grave  ;  much  less  can  it  tell  us 
in  what  state  we  are  to  exist,  or  how  we  may  hope  to  ap- 
pear, in  peace,  in  the  presence  of  the  great  Being,  whom 
we  cannot  but  know  we  have  offended  by  our  sins,  and 
who  holds  our  destiny  for  eternity  in  his  hands.  Hence 
death  has  been  most  significantly  called  the  king  of  ter- 
rors ;  and  he  fulfills  all  the  dreadful  meaning  of  his  name 
towards  such  as  know  not  God,  and  reject  the  overtures  of 
his  grace  in  Christ. 

But  life  and  immortality  are  bought  to  light  in  the  gos- 
pel. There  we  are  assured  by  a  fulness  of  evidence  that 
excludes  all  doubt,  that  he  who  made  us,  has  made  us  for 
an  endless  existence,  and  that,  if  we  are  found  in  him, 
*'  who  is  the  resurrection  and  the  life,"  death  hath  no 
sting  for  us,  and  the  grave  no  terrors  ;  we  go  in  peace  ;  we 
rest  in  our  beds  ;  every  one  that  walketh  in  his  uprightness. 
This  is  the  blessed  instruction  contained  in  our  text.  Let 
us  dwell  upon  it  for  a  moment. 

The  peace  and  rest  spoken  of  are  restricted,  you  per- 
ceive, to  a  particular  character ;  to  him  that  walketh  in 
uprightness.  This,  in  the  sense  of  the  Bible,  is  a  peculiar 
character.  It  belongs  only  to  true  Christians  ;  such  as  have 
been  born  of  the  Spirit ;  as  love  God  supremely,  and  are  uni- 
ted to  Christ  by  an  affectionate,  living  faith.  No  sweetness 
of  natural  temper,  no  amiableness  of  disposition,  no  correct- 


352  ^^^S-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

ness  of  outward  conduct,  constitutes,  in  the  sight  of  God, 
an  ujDright,  or  righteous  character.  These  natural  traits 
you  may  posses  in  great  perfection,  and  yet  your  heart  be 
dead  to  the  love  of  God,  and  yourself  a  stranger  to  all  the 
exercises  of  true  piety.  Marvel  not,  my  friends,  you  must 
be  born  again.  The  youngest,  the  oldest,  the  most  kind, 
amiable  and  moral  among  you,  must  experience  this  great 
change,  or  the  character  of  uprightness,  to  which  alone 
peace  and  rest  in  the  dying  hour  are  promised,  can  never 
be  yours  ;  and  you  can  never  enter  the  kingdom  of  heaven. 
The  Bible  throughout  is  strikingly  discriminating  on  this 
point.  It  tells  3'ou  of  peace  in  your  latter  end,  of  rest  in 
your  funeral  couch,  of  awaking  in  the  likeness  of  God,  and 
of  being  satisfied  forever  in  his  presence  ;  and  it  tells  you 
also  to  whom  these  blessings  belong,  even  to  such,  and 
only  such,  as  walk  in  uprightness, — love  God,  trust  in 
Christ  as  their  Saviour,  and  serve  him  in  an  obedient 
Christian  life.  All  such  are  entitled  to  the  blessings  indi- 
cated in  our  text.  They  are  pardoned  of  God,  are  accept- 
ed in  Christ,  are  sealed  heirs  of  heaven  ;  and  die  when,  or 
how,  or  where  they  may,  no  harm  can  come  to  them  ; 
death  is  to  them  a  conquered  foe  ;  their  Saviour  has  en- 
tered the  grave  before  them,  and  for  them,  and  all  their 
interests  are  safe  for  eternity.  In  Christ  they  have  a  sure 
foundation  of  peace  as  they  go  down  into  the  dark  valley  ; 
and  having  his  rod  and  his  staff  to  comfort  them,  they  need 
fear  no  evil. 

The  phrase  in  our  text,  he  shall  enter  into  peace,  is  ren- 
dered by  Bishop  Lowth,  "  he  shall  go  in  peace."  Thus 
understood,  it  denotes  the  calm  and  peaceful  manner  in 
which  the  righteous  are  wont  to  leave  the  world.  They 
are  not,  like  the  wicked,  driven  away  in  their  sins  ;  they 
have  hope  in  their  death  ;  their  end  is  peace.  Hence  it  is 
said  in  the  next  clause  of  the  text  j    *'  they  rest  in  their 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  353 

beds."  The  allusion  is  probably  to  the  grave,  which  is 
often  represented  in  the  scriptures  as  a  place  of  rest.  Thus 
in  Job  it  is  said,  "  There  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling, 
and  there  the  weary  are  at  rest."  This  sentiment  is  beau- 
tifully expressed  in  the  following  lines  from  Watts  : 

Nor  pain,  nor  grief,  nor  anxious  fear 
Invade  thy  bounds  ;  no  mortal  woes, 

Can  reach  the  peaceful  sleeper  here. 
While  angels  watch  the  soft  repose. 

Not  that  the  soul  sleeps  in  the  grave,  or  remains  in  an 
unconscious,  torpid  state,  as  some  have  supposed,  during 
the  period  that  intervenes  between  the  death  of  the  body 
and  the  general  resurrection.  The  whole  current  of  scrip- 
ture is  against  this  gloomy  sentiment.  We  are  uniformly 
taught  that  to  be  absent  from  the  body  is  equivalent  to 
being  present  with  the  Lord,  and  that  the  souls  of  the 
righteous  do  immediately  on  leaving  their  houses  of  .clay, 
enter  into  a  state  of  conscious  activity  and  enjoyment. 
"  It  is  true,  a  delightful  truth,  that  the  bodies  of  the  saved, 
which  at  death  their  souls  leave,  in  order  to  be  with  Jesus, 
do  rest  in  their  graves."  There,  as  in  peaceful  beds,  they 
repose,  till  awaked  by  the  call  of  him  who  summoned 
Lazarus  from  his  tomb,  who  shall  then  make  them  like  his 
own  glorious  body,  fit  tenements  of  glorified  spirits.  But 
the  leading  idea  intended  to  be  conveyed  by  that  part  of  the 
text  we  are  now  considering  is,  that  the  righteous,  when 
they  die,  go  in  peace.  The  fear  of  ^eath  is  removed. 
They  are  sustained  by  the  hope  full  of  immortality.  They 
are  at  peace  with  themselves,  at  peace  with  their  fellow 
men,  at  peace  with  God ;  and  thus  they  are  prepared  to 
leave  the  world  in  peace,  and  enter  into  everlasting  rest. 
The  grave  is  to  them  a  place  of  calm  and  peaceful  repose. 
No  persecution  comes  there  ;  no  trials  await  them  there  ; 
30* 


354  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

no  sin,  no  sorrow,  no  evil  of  any  kind.  They  sleep  in 
Jesus,  and  are  blessed  ;  and  in  the  morning  of  the  resur- 
rection shall  come  forth  to  inherit  immortal  joys  in  heaven. 
In  this  manner,  Abraham,  Moses,  David  and  the  prophets 
died.  In  this  manner,  Paul  and  Stephen,  and  multitudes 
of  the  primitive  saints  died.  In  this  manner  great  numbers 
of  our  own  Christian  friends  have  died.  And  in  this  man- 
ner, thousands  of  believers  in  Christ  are  every  hour  burst- 
ing away  from  their  earthly  tabernacles,  bidding  adieu  to 
earth  and  time,  in  peaceful  hope  of  eternal  rest  in  Jesus. 
We  pass  to  consider, 

II.  The  state  of  blessedness  into  which  the  righteous 
enter  on  leaving  the  body.  I  shall  be  satisfied,  says  the 
Psalmist,  when  I  awake  with  thy  likeness.  This  blessed 
hope  is  common  to  all  true  believers,  and  they  go  to  real- 
ize its  fulness  immediately  on  passing  into  the  spiritual 
world.  For  though  it  be  admitted,  that,  in  some  sense, 
there  is  an  intermediate  state  between  death  and  the  res- 
urrection, and  that  then  a  change  will  take  place  in  the 
condition  of  the  saved,  by  which  they  will  be  raised  still 
higher  in  glory  and  blessedness,  that  does  not  prevent  their 
being  happy,  consciously  active  and  happy,  and  perfect  in 
the  likeness  of  God  their  Saviour,  the  moment  they  die 
and  leave  their  bodies.  This  is  plainly  the  doctrine  of  the 
scriptures.  David  had  no  expectation  of  a  long,  uncon- 
scious sleep  in  the  grave,  when  he  said,  I  shall  behold  thy 
face  in  righteousness  ;  I  shall  be  satisfied  when  I  awake 
with  thy  likenessk  Paul,  when  in  a  strait  betwixt  two, 
wishing  to  depart,  and  yet  willing  to  stay,  fully  believed 
that  if  he  should  die,  he  would  immediately  be  with  Christ. 
And  the  penitent  malefactor,  according  to  the  promise  of 
the  Saviour,  went,  on  the  very  day  of  his  death,  to  be  with 
him  in  Paradise.  All  true  believers  then,  do  at  once,  on 
leaving  the   body,  awake  in  the  likeness  of  God,  and  are 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  355 


satisfied.  They  go  to  be  with  Christ  where  he  is  ;  and 
seeing  him  as  he  is,  they  will  be  like  him.  This  trans- 
formation, this  change  into  the  divine  likeness,  will  at  first 
be  perfect  in  kind^  but  not  in  degree-  All  the  glorious  lin- 
eaments of  the  Saviour's  character  will  be  drawn  on  theirs  ; 
and  thus  arrayed  in  his  likeness,  the  redeemed  will  shine 
forth  in  all  the  beauties  of  holiness.  Still  there  will  be 
progress.  As  ages  roll  away,  they  will  continually  increase 
in  knowledge,  in  holiness  and  in  happiness;  and  so  be 
eternally  rising  into  a  nearer,  and  still  nearer  resemblance 
to  their  divine  Lord  and  Head,  and  yet  be  eternally  at  an 
infinite  remove  from  his  perfection  and  glory.  Then  they 
will  be  satisfied. 

1.  In  the  first  place,  they  will  be  satisfied  with  them- 
selves. Here  they  never  were.  They  carried  about  with 
them  a  body  of  sin  and  death.  Their  temptations,  their 
conflicts,  their  trials  were  many;  and  they  groaned,  being 
burdened.  But  at. death  they  part  with  imperfection,  sin 
and  sorrow  forever.  They  awake  in  the  likeness  of  their 
Saviour,  and  are  satisfied.  Nothing  remains  in  them,  or 
pertains  to  them  to  awaken  regret,  or  interrupt  enjoyment, 
or  darken  hope.  Of  all  that  blessed  assembly,  there  is  no 
eye  that  weeps,  no  breast  that  sighs,  no  tongue  that  com- 
plains, and  no  heart  that  does  not  bear  the  image,  reflect 
the  glory,  and  rejoice  in  the  presence  of  God  the  Saviour. 
Healed  of  every  disease,  freed  from  every  corruption,  and 
breathing  the  pure  air  of  the  celestial  regions,  every  one, 
on  awaking  in  the  divine  likeness,  will  be  clothed  with 
immortal  youth  and  vigor,  and  every  grace  and  every  fac- 
ulty will  be  ripened  into  maturity,  and  brought  into  a 
never  ending  course  of  delightful  exercise  and  improve- 
ment. 

2.  Awaking  in  the  likeness  of  God,  the  redeemed  will 
be  satisfied  with  the  place  of  their  residence.     That  will 


356  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

be  heaven  ;  the  world  of  unclouded  light  and  everlasting 
blessedness  ;  where  all  things  are  as  great  as  here  they  are 
little  ;  where  all  things  are  as  substantial  as  here  they  are 
vain  ;  where  all  things  are  as  fixed  as  here  they  are  tran- 
sitory. The  saved  of  the  Lord,  on  leaving  the  body,  enter 
that  world  as  their  proper  home ;  it  is  adorned  with  infi- 
nite magnificence  and  beauty,  a  fit  residence  for  angels  and 
glorified  spirits  in  the  presence  of  God  and  the  Lamb.  And 
O,  what  a  change  !  to  be  taken  from  an  earthly  cottage  to 
the  palace  of  the  great  king  ;  from  the  sins  and  sorrows  of 
earth,  to  the  holiness  and  joys  of  heaven  ;  from  a  frail,  dis- 
eased, dying  body,  to  the  everlasting  strength  andundecay- 
ing  vigor  of  the  Paradise  of  God. 

3.  They  will  be  satisfied  with  their  society.  It  will  be 
a  society  of  perfectly  holy  and  benevolent  beings  ;  compo- 
sed of  the  general  assembly  and  church  of  the  first  born  in 
heaven  ;  of  the  spirits  of  the  just  made  perfect ;  of  an  innu- 
merable company  of  angels  ;  of  Jesus,  the  Mediator  of  the 
new  covenant ;  and  of  God,  the  Judge  of  all.  To  this 
society  the  redeemed  are  admitted  immediately  on  leaving 
the  world;  and  they  commence  an  acquaintance, with  pa- 
triarchs and  prophets,  with  apostles  and  martyrs,  and  with 
the  most  amiable  and  worthy  characters  that  have  ever 
lived  ;  among  them  their  own  dear  Christian  friends,  who 
have  entered  before  them  into  glory,  and  are  waiting  to 
welcome  them  to  their  everlasting  home.  Dear  friends 
and  relatives,  parted  here  on  the  shores  of  time,  meet  again 
in  heaven,  to  review  together  the  dealings  of  God  with 
them  in  this  state  of  trial,  to  dwell  together  in  his  pres- 
ence, never  more  to  be  separated. 

4.  They  will  be  satisfied  with  their  employments.  These 
will  be  of  the  most  pure  and  exalted  kind,  perfectly  adapt- 
ed to  their  immortal  natures,  and  fitted  to  promote,  in  the 
highest  degree,  their  improvement  and  happiness.     Wor- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  357 

ship  and  praise  will  be  a  part,  but  not  all  of  their  occupa- 
tion. Entering  heaven  with  all  their  faculties  ennobled, 
and  their  hearts  glowing  with  holy  love,  the  redeemed 
will,  doubtless,  occupy  spheres  of  extended  activity  and 
usefulness,  and  forever  be  eniployed  in  ways,  which  will 
exercise  every  power,  and  call  forth  every  benevolent  affec- 
tion in  the  most  perfect  manner;  all  adapted  to  a  state  of 
complete  and  everlasting  blessedness. 

5.  They  M^ill  be  satisfied  with  their  prospects.  These 
will  be  equal  to  their  desires  ;  and  will  eternally  be  grow- 
ing brighter  and  brighter.  Here  their  happiest  seasons  are 
usually  of  short  duration,  and  are  always  liable  to  interrup- 
tion from  the  anxieties,  the  cares,  the  vicissitudes  and  van- 
ities of  this  sinful  world.  But  nothing  can  ever  cloud  the 
prospects,  or  interrupt  the  joys  of  the  redeemed  in  glory. 
Death  and  sorrow,  disease  and  pain,  crying  and  tears  will 
have  fled  forever;  and  they  will  be  able  to  look  forward  to 
interminable  ages,  and  anticipate,  not  only  the  continuance 
but  constant  increase  of  knowledge,  holiness  and  happiness, 
as  long  as  duration  shall  last.  Their  bodies,  their  minds, 
their  residence,  their  employments,  their  society  and  their 
fruitions,  will  form  a  system  of  glory  and  of  good,  which 
will  know  no  interruption  and  no  end  ;  which  will  be  re- 
fining, brightening  and  increasing  forever.  In  thy  pres- 
ence is  fulness  of  joy  ;  and  at  thy  right  hand  are  pleasures 
forever  more. 

6.  They  will  be  satisfied  with  all  the  means  which  God 
saw  fit  to  employ  to  prepare  them  for,  and  to  bring  them 
to  heaven.  These  often  appeared  to  them,  while  in  this 
vale  of  tears,  deeply  mysterious  and  painful.  But  all  will 
be  cleared  up  in  the  light  of  eternity  ;  and  it  will  there  be 
seen,  that  the  afflictions,  disappointments  and  trials  of  this 
life,  were  all  appointed,  by  infinite  wisdom  and  goodness, 
and  were  a  necessary  discipline  to  wean  us  from  the  world 


358  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  prepare  us  for  heaven.  If  we,  through  grace,  shall 
finally  be  admitted  into  that  world,  we  shall  see,  that  not  one 
trial,  not  one  disappointment  or  affliction  was  laid  upon  us 
here,  which  was  not  needful  and  designed  to  promote  our 
highest  good.  What  we  know  not  now,  we  shall  know 
then.  We  shall  remember  all  the  way  in  which  the  Lofd 
our  God  led  us  in  this  dark  and  trying  world  ;  and  every 
review  of  the  past  will  only  serve  to  increase  our  gratitude 
and  elevate  our  praises  for  the  goodness  and  mercy  with 
which  our  covenant  God  followed  us  all  the  days  of  our 
pilgrimage  on  earth.     I  add, 

7.  The  redeemed  on  awaking  in  the  likeness  of  God  will 
be  satisfied  with  every  part  of  the  divine  counsels  and  gov- 
ernment. This  is  a  world  of  mysteries.  We  are  a  mys- 
tery to  ourselves ;  and  every  thing  around  us  is  mysterious. 
We  cannot  fathom  the  purposes  of  God,  nor  comprehend 
the  reasons  of  his  conduct;  and  often  his  goings  are 
shrouded  in  darkness,  and  seem  to  us  planted  in  the  great 
deep.  We  see  enough  indeed  in  God  to  inspire  confidence 
and  sustain  hope  ;  still  we  see  through  a  glass  darkly,  and 
our  weak  faith  is  often  greatly  tried  and  ready  to  fail  us. 
It  will  not  be  so  in  heaven.  All  who  enter  that  happy 
world  will  see  as  they  are  seen,  and  know  as  they  are 
known.  The  mysteries  of  providence  will  then  be  un- 
folded. The  great  plan  of  Jehovah  respecting  man  will  be 
completed  ;  his  redeemed  people  will  all  be  gathered  home 
to  glory  ;  and  the  reasons  of  his  conduct  towards  our  race 
will  be  explained  and  published  to  the  universe  ;  and  in 
view  of  all,  the  ransomed  of  the  Lord  will  be  satisfied, 
There  will  be  no  blemish,  no  defect  in  any  part  of  the 
divine  administration.  All  will  appear  just  as  it  should  be, 
infinitely  wise,  benevolent  and  glorious  ;  and  they  will  thus 
be  prepared  to  rejoice  and  be  eternally  happy  in  the  king- 
donn  and  under  the  government  of  God, 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  359 

^ ^ • _______________™ 

These,  my  friends,  are  great  truths.  We  owe  them  en- 
tirely to  the  blessed  word  of  our  God  ;  and  they  should 
awaken  in  us  constant  gratitude  and  praise  to  him,  who 
inspires  us  with  such  hopes  in  the  house  of  our  pilgrimage. 
What  are  we,  and  what  our  deservings,  that  we  should 
thus  engage  the  benevolent  regards  of  God  our  Saviour. 
Miserable  sinners  ;  unworthy  of  the  least  blessing  that  is 
poured  into  our  cup.  And  yet  we  are  told  of  entering 
into  peace  ;  of  resting  in  our  beds  ;  of  awaking  in  the 
likeness  of  God,  and  of  being  satisfied  forever  with  the  joyS 
of  his  presence.  God  will  call  and  we  shall  answer  him, 
rise  in  his  image,  be  made  like  unto  our  Head,  be  where  he 
is,  blessed  eternally  with  the  visions  of  his  glory.  Let  us 
dwell  upon  the  prospect  and  rejoice  in  the  hope.  It  will 
cheer  us  amid  the  dark  passages  of  life,  make  the  trials  of 
it  light,  and  fit  us  for  a  brighter  crown  in  that  kingdom  to 
which  we  are  going. 

And  how  firm  aground  for  peace  and  hope  have  we  here, 
in  the  prospect  of  death  ?  What  indt  ed  is  death  to  a 
Christian  ?  The  gateway  of  eternal  glory.  That  passed, 
he  enters  into  the  joy  of  his  Lord,  and  commences  an  end- 
less course  of  improvement,  in  all  that  can  add  dignity  and 
blessedness  to  an  immortal  being.  A  Christian  then, 
instead  of  shrinking  with  fear  from  the  change  of  death, 
should  look  to  it  with  serene  and  cheerful  hope,  and  when 
it  comes,  die,  as  millions  have,  in  peace  and  joy,  and  go  to 
the  bosom  of  his  Redeemer  and  God.  The  way  is  not 
strange,  not  untried.  All  the  saved,  from  Abel  the  first, 
to  the  last  one  that  has  ascended  to  glory,  have  passed  that 
way  ;  and  each,  as  he  has  mounted  upward,  in  the  bright 
and  shining  course,  has  testified  to  the  safety  and  blessed- 
ness of  dying  in  the  Lord.  This  should  encourage  others 
who  yet  linger  here  on  the  shores  of  time,  to  look  upon 
death  with  calmness  and  hope ;  to  welcome  its  approach 


360  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

as  a  call  from  their  Redeemer  to  quit  these  scenes  of  mor- 
tality, and  go  to  inherit  eternal  joys  in  his  kingdom.  Dying, 
to  the  Christian,  is  but  going  home  ;  and  who  should  b^ 
unwilling  to  go  home,  when  that  home  is  heaven,  and  the 
society  waiting  to  welcome  us  there  are  our  own  dear 
friends  who  have  died  in  the  Lord,  and  the  whole  glorious 
company  of  the  redeemed  ? 

Here  too  we  find  strong  consolation  in  the  death  of  Chris- 
tian friends.  They  have  gone  from  us  ;  but  the}^  are  not 
lost  to  themselves,  nor  to  the  kingdom  of  God.  They  still 
live  ;  live  in  all  the  vigor  and  activity  of  their  immortal 
faculties — live  in  the  perfect  likeness  of  Christ,  and  amid 
the  glories  of  the  heavenly  world.  And  should  not  this 
reconcile  us  to  their  removal  from  us  by  death  ?  Should 
we  sorrow  as  those  that  have  no  hope,  now  that  the  great 
design  of  all  that  the  Saviour  did  for  them  in  their  redemp- 
tion, and  in  calling  them  by  his  grace  to  be  his  disciples,  is 
consummated  in  their  perfection  and  everlasting  blessed- 
ness in  heaven  ?  Do  we  rejoice  and  give  thanks  to  the 
God  of  providence,  when  a  dear  friend  of  ours,  having  a 
dangerous  sea  to  navigate,  has  made  the  voyage  in  safety 
and  attained  the  desired  haven  ?  How  much  more  should 
we  rejoice  and  give  thanks  to  the  God  of  grace,  when  our 
Christian  friends  have  finished  the  voyage  of  life  ;  have 
escaped  all  the  storms  and  dangers  of  this  boisterous  ocean, 
and  are  safe  in  the  haven  of  everlastinp;  rest  ?  We  are  not 
indeed  forbidden  to  mourn  our  loss.  Tears  were  made  to 
be  shed  ;  and  never  is  there  a  fitter  occasion  for  them,  than 
when  dear  kindred  and  friends  are  separated  from  us  by 
the  stroke  of  death.  But  we  should  remember,  that  if  they 
die  as  Christians,  our  loss  is  their  gain,  and  that  while  we 
sorrow  and  weep  that  we  shall  see  their  face  no  more  in  the 
flesh,  thet/  are  rejoicing  and  singing  praise  in  the  kingdom 
of  glory.     O,  could  we  look  within  the  veil  and  see  them 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  3^1 

where  Christ  is,  made  like  him,  dwelling  in  his  presence 
and  beholding  his  glory,  should  we  wish  them  to  return  to 
us  on  earth,  to  conflict  again  with  the  temptations  and  sins, 
and  with  the  trials  and  sorrows  of  this  our  mortal  state  ? 
Should  we  not  rather  fall  down  on  our  knees  before  God, 
and  thank  and  praise  him  for  his  great  grace  in  fitting  for, 
and  taking  home  to  glory  those  whom  we  love  ;  and  return 
to  these  earthly  scenes  and  duties  with  warmer  desires* 
and  more  strenuous  efforts,  that  we  may  be  prepared  in 
God's  own  good  time,  to  go  and  join  our  departed  friends 
in  heaven,  and  with  them  be  ever  with  the  Lord  ? 

I  trust  I  feel  grateful  to  God,  my  friends,  that  while  I 
open  these  fountains  of  consolation  to  you,  I  am  permitted 
to  drink  at  them  myself  in  this  day  of  my  bereavement  and 
sorrow.  God  has  seen  fit  to  take  from  me  my  beloved  and 
only  daughter  ;  and  I  thank  him  for  the  precious  evidence 
I  have,  in  her  life  and  in  her  death,  that  she  has  entered 
into  peace,  and  rests  in  her  Saviour's  bosom. 

My  object  in  the  few  brief  notices  of  her,  which  I  may 
now  present,  is  not  to  obtrude  my  sorrows  upon  your  atten- 
tion, nor  to  eulogize  the  virtues  of  the  dear  deceased  one  ; 
but  as  I  have  said,  to  honor  the  grace  of  God  which  made 
her  what  she  was,  and  to  lead  all  who  hear  me,  especially, 
her  young  acquaintances  and  friends,  to  prize  very  highly 
that  religion  which  she  loved,  and  prepare  to  go  to  that 
heaven  where  I  trust  she  has  gone. 

It  is  a  very  pleasant  remembrance  to  her  parents,  that 
from  her  earliest  years  she  was  a  peculiarly  affectionate  and 
dutiful  child.  Her  tender  mind  opened  itself  in  docility 
and  love  ;  and  like  a  fresh  flower  of  spring,  shed  forth  the 
fragrance  of  its  affections  upon  all  around.  To  know  the 
desires  of  her  father,  or  mother,  was  enough  to  engage  a 
prompt  and  cheerful  obedience.  She  was  early  taught  that 
she  was  a  sinner,  and  needed  the  renewing  grace  of  God  to 
29 


362  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

fit  her  for  his  service  and  kingdom  ;  and  from  the  time  she 
was  eight  years  of  age,  she  was  the  subject  of  more  than 
usually  deep  religious  impressions.  She  felt  that  her  heart 
was  not  right  with  God  ;  that  she  needed  what  every  hu- 
man being,  however  young,  and  however  amiable,  needs, 
a  new  heart  to  be  given  her  by  the  Holy  Spirit. 

On  entering  her  tenth  year,  there  was  a  marked  change 
in  her  feelings.  The  scene  was  one  never  to  be  forgotten, 
either  by  herself  or  her  parents.  It  was  noticed,  that,  for 
some  days,  her  mind  was  the  subject  of  intense  and  serious 
thought.  Occasionally  the  unbidden  tear  would  be  seen 
trembling  in  the  eye,  or  stealing  down  the  cheek,  till,  one 
evening,  having  spent  some  time  in  retirement,  she  was 
heard  singing  in  a  low,  sweet  voice,  when  on  opening  the 
door  of  her  room,  her  delightful  exclamation  was,  "  O,  I 
am  so  happy  ;  I  have  found  God  ;  I  am  so  happy  ;  I  can 
pray  now."  She  had  knelt,  as  at  other  times,  with  a  bur- 
dened heart,  and  under  a  sense  of  separation  from  God, 
and  he  had  met  her  and  had  blessed  her.  To  use  her  own 
language  ;  "it  seemed  like  speaking  to  a  dear,  kind  friend  ; 
God  seemed  near  to  me  ;  and  I  felt  that  he  heard  me." 
From  that  time  she  gave  us  every  pleasant  evidence  of 
being  a  child  of  God.  Her  youthful  piety  did  not,  as  it 
often  does,  pass  away  like  a  morning  cloud.  It  was  a  plant 
of  celestial  origin.  It  was  rooted  deep  in  the  heart,  and  it 
grew  and  brought  forth  increasing  fruit  to  God  till  the  end 
of  her  life. 

From  the  time  she  hopefully  became  a  Christian,  she 
had  a  strong  desire  to  devote  herself  to  Christ  in  a  public 
profession  of  religion.  But  it  was  thought  she  was  too 
young.  After  having  patiently  waited  a  year,  at  the  close 
of  a  communion  season,  when  she  remained  at  home,  she 
summoned  all  her  powers  of  argument  to  reason  on  the  sub- 
ject with  those   whom  she  had  ever  been  accustomed  to 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  3g3 

reverence  and  obey.  She  asked,  "when  our  Saviour  said, 
do  this  in  remembrance  of  me,  did  he  mean  to  exclude 
children  ?"  She  was  told  that  her  father  thouo;ht  her  too 
young  to  take  so  important  a  step.  "  How  old  must  I  be? 
before  I  obey  Christ?"  She  was  answered  that  twelve 
was  thought  to  be  a  proper  age  to  make  a  profession  of 
religion.  "  O,"  she  exclaimed,  with  much  emotion, "  1  shall 
have  to  wait  a  whole  year,  and  I  have  waited  a  whole  year 
now,"^  This  reasoning  of  a  child  seems  to  me  more  con- 
clusive now,  than  it  did  then,  and  I  should  be  much  more 
ready  to  act  upon  it  in  admitting  young  persons  to  the 
church. 

Soon  after  she  was  twelve  years  of  age,  her  wishes  were 
gratified  in  being  received  to  the  communion.  It  was  with 
her  a  season  of  great  tenderness  ;  and  to  commemorate  the 
love  of  her  Saviour,  at  his  table,  was  a  privilege  which 
became  more  and  more  precious  to  her  as  long  as  she  lived. 
Her  Christian  course  was  remarkably  uniform  and  exein- 
plary  ;  and  it  was  pleasant  to  see  how,  from  time  to  time, 
she  was  growing  in  grace  and  in  the  knowledge  of  her 
Lord  and  Saviour.  She  felt  that  her  profession  of  the 
name  of  Christ  brought  with  it  very  tender  and  solemn 
obligations,  which  required  of  her  a  peculiar  character  and 
deportment ;  and  feeling  that  she  was  not  her  own,  but 
bought  with  a  price,  she  conscientiously  endeavored  so  to 
live  as  to  honor  the  sacred  name  by  which  she  was  called. 

Her  religion,  not  a  name,  or  a  form,  but  a  living,  inward 
principle  of  holy  love,  partook  largely  of  the  cheerful  and 
the  pleasant.  She  looked  to  it  as  a  source  of  peace  and 
joy  and  hope.  It  shed  a  heavenly  light  on  her  mind, 
sweetened  her  temper,  sanctified  her  affections,  enlarged 
her  views,  elevated  her  aims,  and  taught  her  to  associate 
all  her  purest  and  best  enjoyments,  with  the  love  of  her 
Father  in  heaven,  and  the  delightful  anticipation  of  higher 


364  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

and  nobler  enjoyments  hereafter.  She  possessed  naturally 
a  good  mind, — well  cultivated,  well  balanced,  active  and 
intelligent;  susceptible,  in  a  very  high  degree,  of  just  im- 
pressions from  whatever  objects  engaged  her  attention  ; 
and  was  characterized  also,  by  a  confiding,  artless  simpli- 
city and  afFectionateness  of  character  which  I  have  rarely 
seen  surpassed.  This  was  the  secret  of  her  influence  over 
the  young,  in  whom  she  felt  so  lively  an  interest,  and  of 
the  facility  with  which  she  won  upon  the  confid^ce  and 
love  of  all  with  whom  she  associated.  She  had  many 
friends,  but  no  enemies  ;  and  it  has  been  truly  said  of  her, 
in  a  letter  of  sympathy  received  from  an  eminent  person, 
who  saw  her  for  a  little  time  just  before  she  left  this  coun- 
try, "  She  found  a  short  way  to  the  hearts  of  every  one  that 
knew  her." 

She  had  an  exquisite  relish  for  the  beauties  of  nature 
and  art ;  and  the  interest  she  felt  in  these  beauties  was 
inexpressibly  heightened  by  the  fact,  that  she  looked  at 
them  with  the  eye  of  a  Christian  ;  connected  them  with 
the  wisdom  and  goodness  of  God,  and  regarded  them  as 
pledges  of  brighter  glories  to  be  enjoyed  in  the  heavenly 
world.  Hence,  when  the  shores  of  Europe  and  Africa 
first  burst  upon  her  view,  she  beheld  them  with  the  deep- 
est emotion,  and  wrote  in  her  journal, — "  I  have  been 
praying  that  I  may  look  upon  all  these  interesting  scenes 
with  the  feelings  of  a  Christian  ;  and  may  all  that  I  see 
prepare  me  for  my  work  in  that  dear  land  which  comes 
nearer  every  hour."  And  when  in  1841,  she  lay,  as  was 
supposed,  at  the  point  of  death,  she  said, — "  This  is  a 
beautiful  world  and  I  love  it ;  all  its  hills  and  pleasant 
prospects,  all  of  it  is  very  beautiful  to  me.  And  then,  I 
have  many  precious  friends  ;  O  how  precious !  and 
how  I  love  them  !  And  when  I  think  of  leaving  them, 
and  having  no  more  to  do  with  the  scenes  here  on  the 


MRS.  MARV  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  2Sd 

earth  ;  never,  no,  never,  till  the  resurrection  morning,  then 
I  am  sad  at  the  prospect  of  bidding  adieu  to  them.  But 
when  I  look  on  the  other  side,  and  think  of  heaven  and  of 
Jesus,  and  that  my  Saviour  has  something  for  me  to  do 
there,  then  it  seems  pleasant  to  me,  and  I  want  to  go." 

I  may  here  remark,  in  passing,  that  out  of  her  own  fam- 
ily, no  human  being  exerted  a  greater  or  more  happy  in- 
fluence in  the  formation  of  her  character  than  Mary  Jane 
Chester,  afterwards  Mrs.  Hovey.  Herself  a  model  of 
female  loveliness,  intelligent,  affectionate,  refined  and  win- 
ning in  her  manners  ;  a  Christian  of  warm  hearted,  cheer- 
ful piety,  disinterested  in  her  aims,  and  devoted  in  her  du- 
ties in  an  eminent  degree,  this  amiable  and  excellent  young 
Christian  early  took  a  deep  interest  in  my  dear  Mary ;  she 
was  for  several  years  her  Sabbath  school  teacher ;  and  I 
feel  grateful  to  God,  that  my  child,  in  her  tender  age,  en- 
joyed the  instruction,  the  prayers  and  the  example  of  one, 
who  was  so  well  qualified  to  cherish  her  piety  and  to  elicit 
and  mature  her  virtues.  From  her  she  received  many 
most  valuable  suggestions  in  regard  to  the  daily  reading  of 
the  Scriptures,  the  practice  of  private  devotion,  self-disci- 
pline and  the  cultivation  of  personal  religion.  They  w^ere 
tenderly  united  in  affection  here  ;  death  separated  them 
for  a  season ;  they  have  met  now  in  the  kingdom  of  light 
and  love,  and  they  will  part  no  more. 

The  deceased  had  great  tenderness  of  conscience  ;  a 
quick  perception  and  a  deep  feeling  of  right  and  duty. 
While  she  had  a  most  affectionate  regard  for  the  feelings 
and  wishes  of  others,  and  instinctively  shrunk  from  giving 
pain  to  any  human  being,  she  would  never  yield  a  hair  in 
sacrifice  of  duty,  or  where  she  thought  she  might  incur  the 
suspicion  of  wrong.  Her  religion  was  a  matter  of  princi- 
ple ;  and  it  led  her  to  study  not  how  far  she  might  go  in 
conforming  to  the  world,  without  incurring  positive  guilt ; 
29* 


366  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

but  how  she  might  shun  even  the  appearance  of  evil,  best 
cultivate  her  Christian  character,  and  best  glorify  her  Sa- 
viour. If  in  certain  amusements,  practiced  even  in  some 
professedly  Christian  families,  she  could  not  conscientiously 
unite,  it  was  not  because  she  deemed  them  positively  sin- 
ful, but  because  she  thought  them  of  doubtful  tendency, 
leading  on  to  evil,  and  felt  that  they  might  injure  her  Chris- 
tian influence.  She  was  right  in  this  ;  and  though  some 
may  have  thought  her  too  scrupulous  on  such  points,  I  feel 
sure  it  is  no  matter  of  regret  with  her  now,  that  she  was 
so  conscientious  and  exact  in  her  Christian  walk  while 
here  below. 

She  loved  her  Bible,  and  she  loved  prayer;  and  it  was 
by  an  assiduous  attention  to  the  Scriptures  and  the  duties 
of  daily  devotion,  that  she  cultivated  that  spirit  of  cheerful, 
lively  and  fruitful  piety,  which  so  diffused  itself  through 
her  whole  character  and  life.  She  had  set  times  to  pray 
for  her  friends  and  for  different  objects.  This  habit  was 
early  formed,  and  it  was  continued,  as  appears  from  her 
journal,  till  prevented  by  her  last  sickness. 

In  a  note  to  a  young  friend  in  this  city,  dated  the  26th 
of  August,  the  very  last  perhaps  she  ever  wrote,  she  says, 
"  O,  it  is  a  sweet  comfort  to  pray  for  our  absent  friends. 
In  the  quiet  hours,  v/hen  the  moon  looks  down  upon  these 
silent  waters*  my  thoughts  invariably  wander  to  the  far 
away  friends,  and  the  yearnings  of  my  spirit  to  see  them, 
can  only  be  satisfied  by  lifting  up  my  prayer  to  Him  who 
can  bless  them  with  his  own  sweet  presence."  Her  affec- 
tion for  her  friends  was  indeed  deep  and  pure,  peculiarly 
disinterested  and  abiding. 

Humble,  unsuspecting  and  guileless  in  her  disposition, 
she  never  indulged  herself  in  unkind,  ill-natured  remarks 
about  others.  The  law  of  kindness  was  on  her  lips,  and 
she  never  thought,  or  suspected  evil  of  others,  where  she 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  357 

could  think  of  good.  She  knew  the  value  of  time  ;  and 
she  practiced  the  strictest  economy  in  the  use  of  it.  In- 
stant in  season  and  out  of  season,  will  apply  to  her  as  fully 
as  to  any  young  person  I  ever  knew.  Her  needle,  her 
book,  her  pen,  or  going  on  some  errand  of  kindness  and 
mercy,  filled  up  all  her  hours,  and  thus  she  was  enabled  to 
live  much  in  a  short  time. 

She  early  engaged  in  the  duties  of  a  Sabbath  school 
teacher  ;  and  seldom,  it  is  believed,  have  those  duties 
been  performed  in  a  more  exemplary  and  faithful  manner. 
She  went  to  them,  not  as  a  task,  but  as  a  pleasure  ;  and 
carefully  prepared  herself  for  the  exercise  by  prayer  and  a 
diligent  study  of  the  lesson.  Great  was  the  interest  she 
felt  in  her  pupils,  visiting  them  at  their  homes,  having 
them  visit  her,  lending  them  books  and  writing  to  them, 
from  time  to  time,  to  excite  and  direct  their  thoughts  on 
the  subject  of  religion  ;  and  many  a  young  person  in  this 
house,  and  many  who  are  not  present  to  hear  me,  can 
recollect  the  tender  interest  she  manifested  in  their  spirit- 
ual welfare.  May  they  never  forget  her  instructions  and 
her  prayers ;  and  may  the  impressions  made  on  their 
minds  be  ripened  into  true  piety  and  a  bright  hope  of 
heaven. 

She  early  felt  an  interest  in  the  cause  of  missions  ;  and 
by  a  train  of  providences  which  I  may  not  detail,  it  was 
made  plain  to  her  own  mind,  as  it  was  to  her  parents,  that 
it  was  her  duty  to  devote  herself  personally  to  this  cause. 
But  scarcely  had  she  entered  upon  the  field,  which,  in  con- 
nection with  her  beloved  husband,  she  hoped  to  occupy  in 
a  life  of  usefulness,  ere  she  was  called  to  fill,  I  trust,  a 
higher  sphere  of  service  in  the  heavenly  state.  Though 
her  residence  on  missionary  ground  was  exceedingly  brief, 
she  appears  from  many  testimonies  that  have  come  to  us 
from  our  distant  friends,  to  have  made  an  impression  upon 


368  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

all  who  became  acquainted  with  her,  that  her  heart  was 
wholly  in  her  work,  and  that  she  was  qualified,  had  her 
life  been  spared,  to  do  much  good.*  That  she  was  satis- 
fied and  happy  in  the  employment  she  had  chosen,  is  evi- 
dent from  every  part  of  her  journals.  She  appears  never 
to  have  had  any  misgivings  or  regrets  on  this  point.  In  a 
letter  to  a  friend  in  this  city,  dated  on  that  26th  of  August, 
when,  as  I  suppose,  all  her  correspondence  closed,  she 
says;  "  It  is  an  unspeakable  privilege  to  be  a  missionary, 
and  to  labor  in  this  land.  Much  as  I  long  to  see  your 
faces,  and  dear  as  my  home  is  to  me,  I  would  not  return  to 
America. 

But  I  hasten  to  the  closing  scene.  It  was  expected 
when  she  left  this  country  with  her  husband,  that  they 
would  be  permanently  stationed  at  Smyrna.  But  many 
circumstances  seemed  to  require  their  removal  to  Constan- 
tinople ;  and  I  cheerfully  concurred  in  the  arrangement,  as 
likely  to  prove  more  favorable  to  her  health,  and  also  to 
open  a  wider  and  more  promising  field  of  usefulness.  I 
parted  with  her  in  May.  She  was  then  in  excellent  health, 
and  continued  thus  after  her  removal  to  Constantinople, 
till  about  the  middle  of  August.  She  then  became  ill ; 
but  her  disease  was  in  so  mild  a  form,  that  for  several 
weeks  no  apprehension  was  felt  by  her  friends  as  to  the 
issue.  With  herself  however  it  was  otherwise.  ''  From 
the  very  first,"  as  Rev.  Mr.  Goodell  writes,  "  her  own 
mind  was  strongly  and  strangely  impressed  with  the  idea 
of  a  fatal  termination  ;  and  was  intently  occupied  with  the 
thoughts  of  another  and  better  life."     "  She  settled  all  her 

♦  I  love  to  think  of  the  ardor  of  zeal  and  oneness  of  purpose  with 
which  your  daughter  seemed  to  be  prepared  to  labor  for  the  Arme- 
nians. She  had  her  heart  wholly  set  on  the  great  work  for  which 
$he  came  to  these  lands. — Rev.  Mr.  Dwight,  Constantinople. 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  369 

doubts  one  by  one,  as  her  husband  writes  ;  and  on  the  Sab- 
bath before  her  relapse,  she  expressed  a  sweet  and  perfect 
confidence  in  her  Saviour,  and  entrusted  all  things  to  him." 
Mr.  Goodell  adds, — "  that  during  the  weeks  of  her  indispo- 
sition, she  scrutinized  her  heart  and  lifp  with  the  greatest 
possible  care  and  fidelity,  we  are  fully  assured.  The  result 
was  this — that  the  early  dedication  of  herself  to  God  was  not 
the  ground  of  her  pardon  and  acceptance  ;  that  her  repen- 
tance and  prayers,  and  communion  seasons,  and  religious  ed- 
ucation and  religious  observances,  and  active  services  were 
not  her  Saviour.  And  may  I  trust  in  the  bare  word  of 
Christ  for  salvation,  said]she,  in  great  simplicity  of  manner  } 
I  replied  you  may.  Paul  trusted  to  it,  and  went  to  heaven. 
John  trusted  to  it  and  to  nothing  else.  And  had  your  life 
been  even  more  holy  than  theirs,  you  would  still  have  found, 
on  examination,  that  your  own  righteousness  was  but 
filthy  rags,  that  you  needed  an  infinite  Saviour,  and  that 
you  had  nothing  to  hang  upon  but  the  bare  word  of  Christ. 
But  this  bare  word  of  his  is  every  thing,  and  whoever 
hangs  upon  it  shall  never  be  confounded.  Blessed  salva- 
tion this  for  poor  perishing  sinners.  And  this,  1  have  no 
doubt  was  all  her  salvation,  and  all  her  desire.  On  this 
rock  of  ages  she  appeared  to  plant  both  her  feet,  fearless 
and  secure  amidst  the  raging  billows." 

Her  last  message  to  her  parents  was  a  very  sweet  one. 
It  was  two  days  before  her  decease.  In  reply  to  her  hus- 
band, who  was  writing  by  her  side  and  asked  whether  she 
had  any  message  to  send,  she  said: — "  Give  my  best  love, 
my  very  best  love.  Tell  them  I  have  a  great  many  things 
to  say  to  them  but  I  cannot  now, — tell  them  it  will  be 
very,  very  siveet  when  all  the  redeemed  meet  together  in 
heaven.'''  Bear  child,  it  will  be  sweet,  and  there  we  will 
hope  to  meet  thee. 


370  ^^^-  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

On  the  Sabbath  before  her  death,  which  took  place  on 
Friday,  her  disease  assumed  a  very  alarming  aspect,  after 
which  her  mind  occasionally  wandered.  But  on  the  morn- 
ing of  the  day  on  which  she  died,  her  mind  became  clear 
and  calm,  and  though  unable  to  converse,  so  great  was  her 
weakness,  she  yet  "  whispered  words  of  strong  hope  and 
joyful  expectation."  "  Oh  how  happy,  how  sweet  it  will 
be  to  be  there."     When  her  husband  repeated  the  first 

stanza  of  the   hymn "  Jesus,  lover  of  my  soul,"  there 

Was  a  strong  bright  smile,  and  she  whispered  "  yes,  yes." 
Her  hearing,  her  sight,  and  her  strength  soon  failed  her, 
and  she  fell  asleep,  I  doubt  not  in  Jesus,  and  entered  into 
peace.  Her  grave  is  in  the  burying  ground  of  the  people 
to  whose  spiritual  welfare  her  life  was  devoted.  There,  on 
an  eminence  overlooking  the  shores  of  the  Bosphorus,  and 
the  city  of  the  Moslems,  rest  her  mortal  remains  till  the 
bright  morning  of  the  resurrection  dawns,  and  brings  the 
final,  the  eternal  day  of  glory  and  blessedness. 

Farewell !  dear  child,  farewell ! !  Very  pleasant  wert 
thou  in  life,  but  far  pleasanter  wilt  thou  be  when  we  shall 
meet  above.  Our  separation  will  be  short.  Thou  wilt 
not  return  to  me,  but  I  shall  go  to  thee.  Thy  work  is 
done;  thy  conflicts  over;  and  what  of  loveliness  was  in 
thee  here  below  is  now  perfected  in  heaven.  It  is  well. 
Let  no  one  ask,  why  was  this  waste  .?  The  Master  had 
need  of  her. 

*'  He  gave  her,  he  took  her,  and  he  will  restore  her." 

His  will  is  done  ;  and  the  heart  that  most  loved  her 
would  not  wish  it  otherwise.  Yes,  it  is  well.  In  our 
Father's  house  there  are  many  mansions.  And  thou,  loved 
child,  whose  visage,  when  last  we  saw  thee  here,  was  ar- 
rayed in  the  bloom  of  health  and  the  smiles  of  joy,  hast 
put  off  thine  earthly  clothing  and  left  these  scenes  of  mor- 


MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP.  371 

tality  forever.  Thou  hast  had  thy  mansion  already  on  two 
widely  remote  continents  of  this  world,  and  now  in  the 
new  mansion  thy  Saviour  has  prepared  for  thee  in  heaven, 
we,  in  our  bereaved  affections  and  fond  hopes,  place  thee, 
a  happy,  purified  spirit,  uniting  in  the  exalted  communion 
and  praises  of  that  upper  world.  Farewell!  farewell! 
for  a  little  time;  then  may  we  who  now  mourn  thee,  and 
all  thy  loved  companions  and  friends,  rise  to  join  thee  in 
the  mansions  of  eternal  purity  and  bliss,  whither  thou  hast 
gone. 


"  I  was  one  of  the  many  who  listened  with  deep  and 
sympathetic  interest  to  the  late  discourse  of  the  Rev.  Dr. 
Hawes,  upon  the  death  of  his  daughter.  As  he  presented 
the  picture  of  her  pure  and  lovely  character,  the  words  of 
Christ  were  continually  present  to  my  heart,  "  of  such  is 
the  kingdom  of  heaven  ;"  and  for  many  days  after,  that 
sermon  lingered  in  my  thoughts,  and  would  not  leave  me, 
until  the  following  lines  had  fashioned  themselves  out  of 
my  meditations. — Religious  Herald,  Dec.  \Sth^  1844. 

A    VOICE    FROM    HEAVEN. 

I  shine  in  the  light  of  God, 

His  "  likeness"  stamps  my  brow, 
Through  the  shadows  of  death  my  feet  have  trod, 

And  I  reign  in  glory  now ; 
No  breaking  heart  is  here, 

No  keen  and  thrilling  pain, 
No  wasted  cheek,  where  the  frequent  tear 

Hath  rolled  and  left  its  stain, 

I  have  found  the  joy  of  heaven, 

I  am  one  of  the  angel-band. 
To  my  head  a  crown  is  given. 

And  a  harp  is  in  my  hand :  ^ 


372  MRS.  MARY  E.  VAN  LENNEP. 

I  have  learned  the  song  they  sing. 

Whom  Jesus  hath  made  free, 
And  the  glorious  walls  of  heaven  still  ring 

With  my  new-born  melody. 

No  sin — no  grief — no  pain. 

Safe  in  my  happy  home  ; 
My  fears  all  fled,  my  doubts  all  slain, 

My  hour  of  triumph  come ; 
Oh  !  friends  of  my  mortal  years. 

The  trusted  and  the  true. 
Ye  're  walking  still  in  the  valley  of  tears. 

But  I  wait  to  welcome  you. 

Do  I  forget?     Oh!  no; 

For  Memory's  golden  chain 
Shall  bind  my  heart  to  the  hearts  below> 

Till  they  meet  and  touch  again : 
Each  link  is  strong  and  bright, 

And  love's  electric  flame 
Flows  freely  down,  like  a  river  of  light. 

To  the  world  from  whence  I  came. 

1)0  you  mourn  when  another  star 

Shines  out  from  the  glittering  sky  ? 
Do  you  weep  when  the  noise  of  war. 

And  the  rage  of  conflict  die? 
Then  why  should  your  tears  roll  down. 

And  your  hearts  be  sorely  riven. 
For  another  gem  in  the  Saviour's  crown. 

And  another  soul  in  heaven  ! 

L.  M.  N. 


I 

i 


